Dearest Scooter Savage of the Regina Chronicals,

We have been worried about you. Specifially your overall health. Everything from your greasy hair down to your tiny feet, you seem to be in total failure. Over the last few weeks now you have been showing signs of some degenerative brain disease. Your wife left you for being a failure of a sports analyst, which is not surprising considering you want Regina to trade the team leading shot blocker Troy McClure iiii. How is a team full of rookies suppose to win? Troy isn't a forward, he isn't going to score "40 a season." But he's gonna chip in a few. He's gonna get his assist. I know you think Troy should "Throw that body around" but the game today isn't slow and grabby, unlike you at the strip club. Maybe you should stick to giving out cheap tips, and let the teams core grow, including assistant captain Troy McClure.


Also, we all know it's a hair piece.