Agent Tesla: So what am I being brought in for today?

Management: Well it seems that all of the players for our biggest roadblock to the playoffs and every member of their staff received a bit of an alarming message this morning.

Agent Tesla: And?

Management: And I am pretty sure the only person who could successfully threaten that many people simultaneously is the eldritch abomination that represents our star center.

Agent Tesla: Are you saying the rest of the staff couldn't just hire a team to do this?

Management: We thought about that, but between the Damascus steel used in the knives that pinned the notes in the wall and the almost inhumanly high quality of the freshly baked goods accompanying them we are pretty sure you did it.

Agent Tesla: I knew I should have settled on a lesser steel. So are you going to punish me?

Management: You know we don't actually have the power to do that, but please don't do this again.

Agent Tesla: Fair.