Welcome one and all to Dizzy Puck! We’re so glad you could be here for the the Skills Comp! We’re sure to keep you entertained! Dizzy Puck is an event where skaters spin around 40 times before attempting to skate from Center ice to attempt a moving slap shot on a stationary puck, with the goal of hitting an empty net. Players will earn 1 point for making contact with the puck, and 2 points for putting the puck into the net. Goalies have a similar task, but once they finish their spins, they have to save a slap shot from a non-dizzy skater. Now, without further ado, everyone pick your favourites and let’s get started!

Let’s take a look at who will be competing in the event.

Skaters:

Sebastien Regazzoni @bluesfan55

Shnopple Lopple @Moe7171

Jussi Mutou @ThisSeemsFishy

Theodore Svatos @HabsFanFromOntario

Graj Virrok @.Laser

Jack St. Clair @CrazyMojito

Goalies:

Anthony Dionne @Anthique

Justin Time @RAmenAmen

Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet @Carpy48

Tibuk Soonika @chetib

First up! Sebastien Regazzoni

Round 1:

Regazzoni spins and spins and spins. He looks quite steady coming down the line. Fans hold their breath as he winds up and makes contact! The puck weakly slides along the ice and into the net! 3 points in the first round for Regazzoni! What an amazing start!

Next up, Shnopple Lopple!

A solid defenceman, Shnopple Lopple of Manhattan will attempt to surpass the previous score of 3. As he starts his spin, he stumbles a few times before finally completing 40 rotations. (Who came up with that number sheesh). He wobbles and falls as he makes a move on the puck. His windup reminiscent of a cartoon character as he whirls over the puck and ends up in a tangled heap on the ground. The puck remaining where it was means Lopple is left with no points in round 1.

Our next competitor is Jussi Mutou!

Jussi Mutou of Montreal takes position at center ice. In his pre-event interview, he mentioned having a big lunch in the city before coming down. So we’ll see if that has any effect on his performance today. He begins his spins and the crowd counts them out. But as he reaches spin 29 he stumbles and falls. He crawls towards the boards waving for the door before vomiting all over the ice and collapsing in a gross heap. That’s really embarrassing. No points for Jussi in round 1.

The next ~~victim~~ challenger is Theodore Svatos!

Svatos takes his place at center ice. He spins and spins and spins. He spins so much you would think he was a Beyblade. He starts his skate and looks relatively smooth. Unfortunately he wobbles too close to where Jussi Mutou lays prone and loses an edge, collapsing on top of the poor Montreal forward. Svatos earns 0 points in round 1.

Next, we have Graj Virrok

Virrok deftly makes his way to center ice, waving to his family in the crowd before beginning the spin. As he finishes, he flashes a wink to the crowd as he skates down the ice. He winds up and rips a clapper towards the net. Unfortunately this shot sails way over the goal, firing up above the netting and into the crowd. Oh well, at least he earned a point out of it.

Last up, we have Jack St. Clair

St. Clair skates to center ice, a big smile on his face. As he starts to spin, however, the smile is replaced with a look of discomfort. He completes his spins without fault and slowly stumbles his way to the puck. He takes a moment to ready himself as he winds up, blasting a shot into the net! 3 points in round 1 for St. Clair! Fantastic start!

First up in round 2 is Sebastien Regazzoni!

The Steelhawks Center spins around another 40 times as his 2nd round begins. This time, coming down the line, it’s clear his balance is gone. He stumbles and falls and barely makes it to the puck. As he winds up for his shot, he misses the puck entirely and falls on his ass! Unfortunate showing as he receives no points for round 2!

Next up, Shnopple Lopple!

Lopple readies himself, taking a deep breath as he starts his spins. As he spins, the crowd counts him to 40. The moment he stops, he falls on his ass being met with a roar of laughter from the crowd. He gets back up and starts his stride. His path is less than ideal, ending up over at the side boards before correcting his path towards the puck. His windup is smooth and so is the drive as he powers through the puck and fires it into the middle of the net! 3 points for Lopple!

It’s Jussi Mutou’s turn again! Let’s check in and see how he’s doing.

The crowd turns their attention back to Jussi Mutou, who hasn’t moved from where he collapsed back in round 1. He flashes a thumbs up to the crowd but otherwise does not move. We’ll check in on him again later. No points for Jussi once more.

Theodore Svatos makes his return for round 2. Let’s welcome him to center ice!

Svatos begins his spin again, keeping a suspicious eye on Jussi Mutou’s seemingly lifeless form. He finishes his spin and starts to skate, making sure to give Mutou a wide berth. He manages to struggle his way to the puck before blasting an absolute piss missile into the back of the net, earning him 3 points for the round.

Let’s bring back Graj Virrok

Graj skates to center ice and starts spinning. After 40 he slowly meanders his way to the puck, ensuring he takes his time to line up a shot. He winds up and fires a shot into the net for a cool 3 points on the round!

Jack St. Clair comes back to finish up the round.

The Toronto North Stars forward takes position at center ice and closes his eyes as he begins to spin. He spins and spins and spins. Unfortunately he doesn’t realize how many times he’s spun and ends up spinning a total of 69 times! By the time he stops spinning, he’s so dizzy that he immediately collapses at center ice, needing to be dragged away as the next round begins. Unfortunate result for sure, but he’ll be back next round!

Last round, first up, let’s welcome back Sebastien Regazzoni!

The final round begins and Regazzoni spins around another 40 times and immediately makes a beeline for the puck. He barrels down the ice, stumbling a couple times here and there and winds up for the slap shot. As he brings his stick back around, he sails past the puck and ends up careening into the net! Unfortunately, that will be zero points for this round as you need to put the puck in the net!

Regazzoni total: 3 points

Next up, Shnopple Lopple!

Shnopple will look to replicate his round 2 success on this go. He starts his spin and the crowd counts once more. It’s clear he’s got lots of fans in the arena. As he starts his skate however, it’s clear his balance is all but gone. He stumbles and falls, ending up crawling towards the puck. As he makes his windup, he collapses in a dizzy mess, ending his round 3 with no swing.

Lopple total: 3

Last chance for Jussi Mutou. Can he get something going?

The crowd all looks to where Jussi Mutou lays on the ice. He slowly pushes himself up to his feet to the roar of the crowd. He makes his way back to center ice and begins to spin. The crowd watches with whispered breaths to see if they will bear witness to the contents of his stomach once more. But this time he manages to complete all 40 spins! He makes his way to the puck as he wobbles to and fro. His windup looks clean and so does the drive. But unfortunately he misses the puck and ends up flying through the air in a comedic fashion before somehow ending up in the crease where he collapses once more.

Mutou total: 0 points

Last chance for Theodore Svatos to break away from the pack! Can he do it?

Svatos clumsily makes his way to center ice to start his spin. He completes without a stumble and slowly inches his way towards the puck. As he makes his way down the ice, he stumbles and falls. As his stick comes down, it collides with the puck, sending it careening towards the net where it collides with Jussi Mutou! Such an unfortunate result! That was going in for sure! Incredible defensive display by Mutou to put his body on the line! Despite this, Svatos still slips away with 1 point on the round.

Svatos total: 4 points

Final chance for Graj Virrok!

The Philadelphia Forge All-Star completes the spins without fault and begins skating. Confusion sets in as Virrok appears to be skating in the wrong direction! As Virrok attempts to turn around, he loses his balance entirely and falls to the ice. His gear goes flying off like a broken Lego set and he lays in a broken heap as his timer runs out. 0 points for this round!

Virrok total: 4 points

Last shot for Jack St. Clair. If he puts the puck in the net, he wins it all!

He skates out to center ice, making sure to keep his eyes open this time as he starts to spin. He manages to stop on 40 spins this time and starts his wobbly skate towards the puck. Unfortunately, his laces come undone and he trips and falls, face planting inches away from the puck as the buzzer sounds, signifying his time has run out!

St. Clair total: 3 points

Well it looks like we have a deadlock! Theodore Svatos and Graj Virrok will enter a sudden death tiebreaker to see who goes home with the trophy!
For this round, both competitors begin at center ice, pucks are lined up just past the blue line and when the buzzer sounds, both players will spin around 20 times. Just like previous rounds, they will skate up and attempt a slap shot at the net. Whoever manages to put the puck in the net first, wins! But if they happen to miss the net, they have to skate back to center and spin 10 times before they take the next shot! May the dizziest competitor win!

Svatos and Virrok skate to center, shaking hands in a show of good sportsmanship before they take position, ready to spin. As the horn sounds, they both begin twirling like professional figure skaters. Once they reach 20, they skate out towards the pucks. Svatos reaches his first, sending a slapshot careening towards the net, sailing just wide! So close!

Virrok manages to reach the puck finally as Svatos starts his second round of spinning. If Virrok manages to score here, he wins it all! He winds up and connects with the puck…

But it’s off the post!!! Virrok looks up to the rafters before heading back to start spinning.

Svatos finishes spinning and takes a quick moment to steady himself as he skates back down to his pucks. He winds up and rips a shot towards the net….

And it’s in!!! Theodore Svatos has won the Dizzy Puck Challenge!!!

The rest of the competitors come out to congratulate Svatos on a competition well won! Svatos parades around with the trophy, depicting a hockey player leaning over a toilet! What an achievement for him!

With that, the skater portion of the Dizzy Puck Challenge comes to an end! Now we move on to the Goalie segment!

Round 1:

Anthony Dionne of Texas will be first up!

Dionne stands tall between the pipes and starts to spin. Goalie spins are a little slower than skater spins due to all the gear, but he gets there in the end. As he stops he tries his best to steady himself as the skater makes their way down the ice to fire a slapshot. The skater connects with the puck, firing a shot high blocker side that gets deflected up into the netting by Dionne! Great stop!

Justin Time is up next! Can he stop the puck?

At the other end of the ice, Justin Time starts to spin. He spins so much he nearly falls over! But once the spins are complete, he readies himself for the incoming puck. The skater heads down the ice and rips a slapshot high glove side that sails into the net! Justin Time wasn’t quick enough to stop that one! He skates over to the benches where he grabs a mic. “Sorry everyone. I was weighed down by my championship ring.” He takes off his glove to reveal a massive championship ring. The reveal causes a massive cheer from the Pride fans in the crowd.

Next up, we have Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet!

Carpet takes position and spins. He falls over at spin number 38 and quickly recovers to finish the final 2 spins. He faces down the shooter as they wire a shot low glove side! Unfortunately for Carpet haters, the shot is snapped up by the glove for a great save! As he skates off, Carpet waves to the crowd!

Last up for the round is Barracuda goalie Tibuk Soonika

Tibuk is ready at the other end of the ice as the horn sounds. He manages his spins without fail and prepares for the incoming shot. As it heads towards him, however, he loses his balance and falls to the ice, allowing the shot to beat him right in the middle of the net! Unlucky for Soonika!

Round 2:

Anthony Dionne makes his return! Can he go back to back?

Dionne takes a deep breath as he starts his rotations. He spins and spins and spins. He spins so much you would think he would never stop! But he completes his spins and tries to steady himself, comedically stumbling a few times before he manages to right himself by leaning on the crossbar. The skater starts their stride and unleashed a cannon of a slapshot down the ice, just slipping five hole on Dionne! I bet he wants that one back!

It’s time for Justin Time!

Time stands ready and begins his spins. As he finishes he holds his hands out to the sides to steady himself. He looks calm and composed as the skater releases the puck on the net. In a flash of movement, Time knocks the puck into the corner with his right pad! Great stop!

Rhett Carpet makes his return!

Carpet will look to build on a great round 1 and stay ahead of the other competitors with another save this round. He starts his spin, using a similar strategy of slow and deliberate spins for this round. This time he manages to make it through all 40 without failure and prepares for the shot. The skater heads down the ice and blasts a shot towards the net that careens off the face mask of Carpet, sending him flying into the net! But where is the puck?
In what seems like forever, the puck finally lands back down in the crease, coming to a halt outside the net to earn another save and another point for Carpet!

Soonika is back! Let’s welcome him to the net!

He begins his spins as the crowd looks on. Once he completes he steadies himself using the net and gets into his stance. As the shot hurtles towards him, he is ready, catching the puck in his glove and making it look easy! Great save!

Round 3:

Bring out the Renegade! It’s Anthony Dionne!

Dionne spins once again, making sure he keeps an eye on the skater, it seems like he’s trying to guess where the skater will shoot ahead of time. As he finishes spinning, he immediately drops into the butterfly…
Only for the shot to beat him high blocker side. Oof. He hangs his head in shame as he skates to the bench.

It’s Pride day! And Justin Time too!

The San Francisco starter takes his position and begins spinning. He completes his spins and stares down the shooter in an attempt at intimidation maybe? Unfortunately this doesn’t work as the slapshot beats Time glove side. Gonna have to work on that timing if he wants to win this challenge!

Auroras are pretty just like saves made by Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet!

The current leader of the pack takes position, looking to push his lead even further. His slow and steady spins seem to be working so far. So he does it again. He stops on a dime in the crease and nearly loses his balance but steadies himself just in time to knock the puck into the corner with the blocker!

You'd have me down, down, down, down on my knees Now wouldn't you? Barracuda, oh! Tibuk Soonika is back!

Soonika hasn’t had the best start imaginable. But there’s always time to come back! He starts his spin and prepares for a shot. But he’s facing the wrong way entirely! The puck easily sails into the net! That was awkward!

Round 4:

Anthony Dionne is up!

Dionne hasn’t had great success so far. But he looks determined to come back. He begins spinning and takes his time to steady himself as the puck hurtles towards him. With a quick kick of the pad, he knocks the puck away! Great stop!

Justin Time’s turn! Can he make the save?

Justin Time makes the spins look easy, even adding a little flair by doing it on one skate! He finishes all 40 and readies himself for the skater who hustles down the ice and releases an absolute cannon of a shot. Justin Time manages to snag this one in the glove. He smiles at the crowd, taking his glove off to reveal that he removed his championship ring! Justin Time learns from his mistakes!

Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet is up next!

With a great start, having saved every shot so far, Carpet comes back with a confident swagger to him. He begins spinning wildly, seemingly abandoning his previous strategy of slow and steady! After completing his spins it’s clear his balance is gone! When the shot comes, Carpet is nowhere to be found and the puck blasts into the net.

Let’s welcome Tibuk Soonika back to the net!

Soonika takes a deep breath as he starts to spin. In order to get back into it, he would have to stop the next two shots. A tall order, but not impossible. He completes his spins and readies himself for the shot to come. As it is blasted towards him, he easily knocks it away with the paddle! If only they all went like that! Great stop by Soonika!

Round 5:

Fifth and final chance for Anthony Dionne to get it done!
Still one save behind Carpet, Dionne needs to stop this one to stay even. He spins and spins, seemingly adopting Carpet’s previous strategy of slow and steady. As he finishes he leans back on the crossbar, preparing himself for the incoming missile from the skater. As the shot is fired he drops into the butterfly and knocks it into the corner with the blocker! Very nearly went in! Amazing save from Dionne!

Dionne total: 3 points

Guess who? That’s right! Justin Time!

Similar story for Time as he currently sits one save behind Carpet and Dionne! It’s really coming down to the wire here. Time spins, completing his rotations easily as he faces down the shooter. With a swift kick of the pad, he sends the puck flying back down the ice. Great save from Time to draw even with Dionne and Carpet!

Time total: 3 points

Speaking of, it’s Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet’s final turn!

If Carpet can make the save, he guarantees his victory here! He takes position between the pipes and starts to spin, quickly returning to his slow and steady strategy that earned him 3 straight saves to start the competition. As he finishes save 40, however, he stumbles and falls. The skater begins skating down the ice as Carpet attempts to get back to his feet but he’s too late! The shot hurtles towards the net top shelf. Acting quickly, Carpet windmills the pads and kicks the puck away! What an incredible save by Carpet!! That’s it! He’s won it all!!

Carpet total: 4 points

Tibuk Soonika comes back up. Even though he can’t catch up to Carpet, he can still draw even with Dionne and Time!
He readies himself between the pipes and begins to spin. As he completes his spins he wobbles and stumbles as the shot comes forward. He manages to get a piece of it with the blocker, but unfortunately it isn’t enough as it barely trickles over the line! So unlucky for Soonika!

Soonika total: 2 points

With that, the goalie portion of Dizzy Puck comes to a close! Congratulations to Rhett Carpet on a hard earned victory! And a congratulations to all the competitors that took part today! We thank you all, and we’ll see you next year!