Written option 2:

Jeyeff Effo works VERY VERY hard to be the best athlete in the SHL. In order to be the best, one must sacrifice everything to stay at the top of the food chain. Whenever Effo meets an opponent that is superior to himself, whether it be smarter, more physical, or much better looking, there is a way to overcome the obstacle and be a winner. Ever since Effo was a child, his father would make him a special smoothie of top secret herbs and spices to help him improve his skills to become an apex predator on and off the ice. The ingredients are as follows - 2 pinches of soil with chemical grade pesticides, 5ml of horse tranquilizer, 15ml of horse steroids, 2 cups of anti-freeze, 12 fentanyl pills, 3 eggs (cracked with shell on). and of course 2 cups of protein powder to get those GAINS. This concoction has worked like a charm to sculpt Effo into the specimen he is today, the only side effect to this special smoothie is potential hair loss. 

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