There's only one way to make the ultimate goalie in the SHL: the regression serum. Created in a hidden underground lab by the world's least qualified hockey scientists, when applied to a goalie, it supercharges their FHM attributes by dropping them all to 5, the pinnacle of FHM goaltending ability. No longer held back by the shackles of "earning" or "effort", the new super goalie will be unleashed on the SHL to dominate the likes of pitiful high earning goaltenders, stealing games singlehanded and forever proving the harm caused by goalie TPE. Armed with additional salary cap space, their teams can double up on supporting their new star talent by loading the team with elite forwards. Rumor has it the team behind the serum is hard at work on an even greater version that would push goalie attributes below the minimum threshold of 5, possibly even to negative values. What horrible results will this new serum have? The world may not be ready to find out.