Written Option 1:

Slip McScruff thought it was pretty weird that the team wanted the taste of champions. He played for many different teams in a couple different countries, even did the international circuit. He didn't think cannibalism was popular or legal in any of those places. Not only that, they wanted to taste a champion, not just a regular person. He was willing to try anything once, but he drew the line at a family recipe, they were both off limits and none of them were champions.

To get around the moral and legal grey area, he decided to crown some champions among some chicken and cook them. He was not comfortable having the chickens fight, so he built an obstacle course in his backyard. The chickens ran a tournament over the course of three days, and Slip cooked the winners to feed the team. To really amp up the champion theme, he made his little champions into Crunchwrap Supremes.

Others put more effort into cooking while Slip was running chicken races, so they cooked circles around him, but we know who had more fun.