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S78 PT #1: You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid Due: Sunday, August 18th @ 11:59 PM PST

A documentary about Grzegorz's beginnings as a player was set to be a runaway success with an extremely specific demographic. They wanted to interview Grzegorz's father, only to learn that Grzegorz's father died in a coal mine accident in his early childhood. So they then tried to interview Grzegorz's mother, but she spent the entire interview rambling about the Mole People who live in the center of the Earth and that US President John Quincy Adams created special doors for them in the White House walls. The documentarists were rather disturbed to learn that she was correct about the latter point, but moved on to interviewing Grzegorz's childhood coaches. One of these coaches was exposed as a notorious murderer who had fled from the Russian police in 1986 and set up shop in Krakow. He was promptly extradited to Russia, but not before insisting that Grzegorz had a level of innate talent for the goaltending position that he hadn't seen since Vladislav Tretiak. The documentary had to be completely rewritten to be less about Grzegorz's early childhood shaping him into a top goalie, and more about asking the question of how he ended up even remotely functional when his personal and home life in childhood involved such a massive percentage of lunatics and criminals.

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RE: S78 PT #1: You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - by Zerg - 08-16-2024, 01:57 PM



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