We have gone back and forth several times on this, as mascots are a wonderful idea, and we have settled on a tame polar bear. Both because if it very cute and cuddly, and because it can maul and consume our rivals when the moment is right

Honestly, I’m kind of surprised we hadn’t thought of it before, it seems like such a simple idea in hindsight - all we needed was some sort of pretext to house an extremely dangerous animal in our locker room, and we’d pretty well be all set to finally overcome our rivals in Maine Timber, and conquer the Southern Conference! I hope our new addition will also help out at the concession stand, both because of the incredible novelty, as well as our prior hire having been mauled to death by a, frankly, deeply misunderstood polar bear. 

Just a little more funding, and we can add him to our little St. Louis family ♥️