Just like Red Lobster, Maine Timber is filing for bankruptcy, of talent that is. After numerous seasons of squaring off in the playoffs, the Maine Timber are the uncontested rivals of the Newfoundland Berserkers. Although in separate conferences, the rivalry remains fierce and not forgotten. Even though Maine won the first game in the best-of-three series, the Berserkers are beating them in the standings by 4 points. There is also the proximity factor as these two teams are geographically among the closest.

You might be asking what is wrong with the Maine Timber? Well for starters, lumber isn’t even their biggest export. According to this shit search engine, Microsoft Bing, their biggest export is Canada. Silly little geese, you can’t export a country. Plus, what is that logo all about? You’re the Timber, but your logo has axes, things that destroy timber? You don't see the Colorado Raptors with a big ass asteroid in their logo, do you? That’s almost as silly as naming your team the Hurricanes in an area where your civilians are negatively impacted by such forces of nature. Obviously, this is all in good fun and the rivalry makes us both better teams, but I will say this. The Maine Timber does seem like a bunch of people who thought and possibly still do think that those axe-throwing places are cool.