Written Option 2:

I'm taking the money, no questions asked. Not gonna clarify if they made a mistake on who they thought they were inviting to be a part of this. I'm signing on as soon as humanly possible. I'm getting myself a ride to the place so I can study in the car, plane, submarine, whatever vehicle I'm taking to this event. The way there I'll skim the wikipedia article on the sport to try to get the gist of the rules, then I'll watch some videos on the internet with the announcers just screaming. We're talking all the "best calls of the last 20 years" types of videos and I'm going to study the tones and inflections of these guys. I'm gonna do my absolute best to accurately mimic these guys so that I can give off a similar vibe during the action. I'll probably rely on reading numbers and names on jerseys, assuming they wear them, because I am not wasting one valuable second on something as useless as the players of the sport. I'm gonna give it my absolute all to parrot announcers and fit right in, then leave with my cash.