Written Option 1:

Slip McScruff would get out as fast as possible, he's got nothing to prove.  In fact, he would delay signing with a team until after training camp so that he can avoid all this hassle.  He can't beat them so he certainly doesn't want to join them.  He'll learn a lot more with Youtube tutorials, a stable internet connection, and takeout food all summer.  You can tell that he's serious because he orders pick up and walks to the restaurants for exercise and definitely not because there's a package store on the route to get some beer.

However, now we're stuck where Slip McScruff is so cozy in not worrying about training that he might regress a little extra hard this offseason.  If he's sitting in his comfy chair, how will any GM know to sign him? Will he survive the off season?  Find out on the Season 80 special of Survivor: SHL Veterans