What I want to see in my all-star teams isn't necessarily a group of players who know what they're doing. In fact, I barely researched the following people's stats at all, except to verify position.

No, what I want is for the announcers to have to call the most incredible names with the straightest of faces.

May I introduce my Greatest Names All-Star Team?

At Left Wing, it's Jimmy Twoshoes!
Our Centerman, The Puck!
On Right Wing, Outen Deboonies! (My personal favorite. Bravo!)
Left D-man, Hip Hurts!
Right Defence goes to Tony Bologna!
Last but not least, our Goalie, my tandem, Martin Mackerelmore!