18. Milestone - 3TPE

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4. Funtimes







You have been designated as the team's official Fun Director! Now, everyone is looking for some sort of fun activity where you all can spend an afternoon or day to chill, hang out and build some team spirit. Especially after a long and stressful season, what are your plans to ensure everyone has a great time?

This offseason, I'm super excited to be in charge of everyone having fun.  People always think Godzilla is big and mean and scary, and that can be true, but down in my gigantic heart which is like as big as Manhattan Island, I'm mostly just a pretty fun and chill guy.  Now obviously in Ottawa, we have a bunch of nerds. Literally all we do all day is sit around and read and talk about the books we read which, as fun as it is, is a little lame.  It's time for this group to get up, get out, and get our party on.  So that's what we're gonna do.  A weekend bender for the boiz.  We'll start on a Friday night with drinks and obviously karaoke.  There's nothing that brings a group of people together like drunkenly singing along to "I would do anything for love.. [but i won't do that]" by Meatloaf or anything by Bon Jovi.  After our crazy night out we're headed the air b&b we've booked for the weekend out on the lake.  Everybody will pass out, but in the morning I'm up early cooking frenchie toast for the family.  We've gotta get fed because we have a long day of cornhole, jetskiing, grilling, and chilling to take care of.  In the afternoon we'll have a classic siesta, but then it's time to regroup and get ready for the big bonfire.  Around the fire we're going to get real emotional, talking about last year's missed oppoortunities, opponents' illegal lines, and those we've lost to the SHL along the way.  But then the discussion is going to turn to hopes and dreams.  The things we're going to have to do to bring home the cup, the work we're gonna have to put in.  The accountability. The leadership. The desire.  We'll go from crying like a bunch of babies, to hyping each other up like a couple of cokeheads on a bender.  By the end of the night we'll work ourselves into such a frenzy that we're gonna end the weekend early and hit the ice.  Listen to me when I tell you, this team is READY for next season, thanks to weekend at Vulfzilla's. WC: 368 -> 7 TPE

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3. Secret Plans

It’s never too early to start thinking about how you’re going to gain a competitive edge next season! How is your team going to go the extra mile to get wins next season? Is it a secret training regimen? Sneaky equipment modifications? Booby trapping the visiting teams’ locker room? Anything goes.

Next season it's all about diet diet diet.  I don't know if you know this, but Godzilla actually essentially feeds on radiation.  This is what gives him the ability to grow to an astronomical size, regenerate/heal tissue after an attack, and obviously employ his atomic breath when necessary.  So that's why, all season, we've been shipping in fruits and vegetables that have been growing in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone as well as the exclusion zone around the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.  These plants are seeping with radiation, but instead of being scared off by the idea, we're embracing it full on.  Look to see a Hotdog Lunch next year atomically powered by radiation laced turnips and beets.  Soobin blasting goalies with laser pucks after munching down on some radioactive strawberries during intermission.  This team is about completely destroy the competition and to be honest, I'd be really careful even going to the games if i was a fan.  WC: 159 -3TPE

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Magazine cover- 3tpe

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3+3+3+7=16 TPE Total