>Im at a track meet
>Chilling out on bleachers, waiting for my race
>cute girls in skimpy track uniforms EVERYWHERE
>i begin thinking naughty thoughts
>Massive erection is hidden by my roomy track pants
>"HEY SON WE CANT FIND JOE, YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIS SPOT"
>Slip my johnson into my waistband as i stand up
>Solid snake my way across the field, no one suspected a thing
>Take pants off, now i am only wearing bright yellow short-shorts
>Walk quickly to my blocks
>Bend over to hide my massive bulge
>THE MOMENT OF TRUTH IS AT HAND
>race starts
>erection immediately frees itself
>Begins bouncing and waving dramatically
>A loud slap can be heard each time it hits my thigh
>THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE
>it begins spinning as we round the corner
>Penis: "DONT WORRY BUDDY I GOT YOUR BACK."
>HELICOPTER MODE: ENGAGED
>penis propels me into first place and i take the lead
>HOLY CRAP I FEEL LIKE A SUPERHERO
>Beat the black kids
>Receive a prophetic vision of one day creation a helicopter made of penises
>Still have to walk ALL the way back across the field to the starting line to retrieve my pants
>let my erection shamelessly protrude
>GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE