As some of you may know, my birthday is this Sunday. I had my party today, huge banger at my house, an upwards of 80-90 people showed up. Anyway,

This one girl is from Calgary (Im from Vancouver), and she came with her friend who is a guy. We all thought he was her boyfriend.......














No.

After spending about 0.35 seconds with the guy she came with, she rushes over to my friend. Within 2 minutes, they're making out. Full blown. Me, sensing blood like a shark, butt in (I don't really like this buddy of mine anyway) and start making conversation

10 minutes later, she's in my room and we're doing the dance. After I finish up, one of my good friends comes in and gives me a high five (What the fuck?) and goes "can you ask her if she'll give me a go?"

I don't really disrespect women that way, so I actually told him no. Well, I underestimated her slut-ation, and 20 minutes later he's full blown giving it to her. WHILE he's giving it to her, she TEXTS me and says "can you come join in on the action? He's not really doin it for me"

I just laughed.

So then they both come out, she looks like she just got hit by a train, he looks like he just won the Mega Millions, and i'm asking him how my dick tastes. Besides the point.

By the end of the night, anyway, this girl had her way with 4 guys. That's not a typo... 4.

And every single time, she was texting me (The fuck?) saying things like "Would u wanna join in now lol?"

im like Woman, give me a break, I already busted my nut i'm not a goddamn vending machine. And also, I love my grade A sluts, but this was wayy too far. I was already thinking of scheduling my goods for an appointment with the doc tomorrow..

So finally, at 2am I start kicking everyone out. She stays in my house and claims she wants to sleep over. I'm like yeah, sure, who knows I might be up for another round after 3-4 beers and a couple hours. She passes the fuck out in the bed, so I tuck her in.

I'm about to go to bed and... Her dad knocks on the fucking door. At 3am. He goes "Is ____ here? I want my daughter." and I go "Yeah, I was just making sure she didnt walk home etc"

So the guy used to be my hockey coach (go figure). He starts a tantrum about how I shouldn't be messing with his daughter (Well i'm sorry I was born with TESTICLES) and I just tell him to get his daughter and leave.

Of course, this woman leaves her phone here. So I facebook'ed her about an hour ago saying "Yo you degenerate inbred, you left your phone here"

And she goes "Should I come back and get it?"

And I just laugh. Thinking of the dads face when he wakes up in the morning and the girls not there, instead she's over here getting plowed.

And, as we speak, i'm waiting for her to finish her walk back to my house.