RING RING

Zebluon Leaviit [ZL] This is Zeb?

Zeb's Agent [A] Hey Zeb, it's your agent!

ZL: Hey, man, how's it going?

A: Good, good. Hey, I got a company that wants you as a spokesperson!

ZL: Oh shit, that's awesome!  Which company?

A: It's one of those subscription services, that send you stuff every month!

ZL: Dude! You mean like one of those Loot Crates or Men's Clothes of the month type things?

A: Um, not quite, it's-

ZL: Game of the month! It's PS4 game of the month, isn't? I talked to one of their reps last week online, he was telling me during a COD game that he worked for Sony and he would hook me up!

A: Yeah, I doubt that guy worked for Sony.

ZL: Dollar Shave Club? I use their shit, I love the Butter! So slick and slippery and makes it really easy in the shower to- 

A: Stop, just stop.

ZL: Is it Bark Box? DUDE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE DOGS DID YOU GET ME BARK BOX????

A: You need to slow the fuck down.

ZL: Sorry sorry sorry, you just got me super excited. What is it for?

A: Jelly of the month club.

ZL: I'm sorry, what?

A: Jelly of the month Club.

ZL: What in the Nine is the Jelly of the month club?

A: They send people jellys.

ZL: Like lubes? I mean, I think I might be okay with that, but that seems a bit odd, I'm not really a player or anything? I mean, don't get me wrong, I do okay with the ladies, but not that okay.

A: No, no, no, not that type of jelly. Like, PB & J jelly.

ZL: What?

A: You know, jelly! Every month subscribers get a box with a variety of jellies.  This month is Raspberry, Apricot, and Mint! Their slogan is "It's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."

ZL: Mint? Who the bloody hell uses mint jelly? Is that for a toothpaste sandwich?

A: Um, I think people use it on lamb?

ZL: Lamb? I might get the PB & J connection, but lamb? I don't think I've ever even eaten lamb?

A: Look, they wanted you!

ZL: I guess I'm flattered, but that's the best you could do for how much I pay you?

A: It's worth 3 TPE?

ZL: Sign me, the FUCK UP. Like now.