Originally posted by MrPrime@Mar 5 2018, 10:38 AM
[b]
[b]Most likely to get his name said wrong: Lizzy Jukka
Switch the L by the J and let hilarity ensues![/b]

I strangely feel like that might not be the case. :lol:

Eryk Siniskaya || Defense || Unsigned ||


Timo Haas || Goalie || Los Angeles Panthers || Retired/Hall of Fame

most likely goon: Danny Mete
74 penalty minutes is the top worth there and with that he hurt his team horribly.


most likely puck shield: Ostap Maksimov
70 Shot Blocks means he was 70 times the hero of his team as puck shield. very impressive.

most likely Smash Hero: Geoff Higgins
He smashed 142 times this season. hope all are ok after his smashing hits.

most likely Power Play God: The Dude
his 10 Goals was the best stat for Power Play Goals. As Defender incredible.

most likely Bust: GOD McZehrl
very disappointing season from him.we should burn him.

Chris McZehrl III - Texas Renegades
Chris McZehrl III - Anchorage Armada

Most likely to get fucked up with me - Iam Essellemm: Not only are we teammates on the Halifax Raiders, but we’re also teammates for team Ireland. You know how the Irish are when it comes to our drinking (especially with someone as a big of a partygoer as Conor McGregor), so of course, Iam and I are going to get incredibly wasted on a consistent basis. I only hope that are affinity for drinking will not translate on the ice, or perhaps we actually play better drunk to begin with?

Most likely to become a baker after retiring – Shooter McGavin: Look, McGavin has no future in golf after Happy Gilmore essentially destroyed his reputation, but he has found new success in the hockey world. However, that obviously cannot last forever, as we all must retire from the sport at some juncture in the future. Once that moment occurs, is it not obvious that McGavin will enter the baking business? I mean, his username on here is Cookies after all, and no one makes a username like that without loving cookies, hence their future passion for baking.

Most likely to become a teddy bear in a different life - Ensio Kalju: Kalju is simply a super warm and awesome person to have in the locker room, not to mention that he is also a big players on the ice as a defenseman. Factor both of these attributed about Kalju, and it becomes quite evident that he is destined to be reincarnated as a teddy bear in his next life, and will bring a great deal of fluffy joy to many, many people from around the world.

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Word Count: 276

[pbhfx]
Bane - Defense - Nevada Battleborn - 345 TPE
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Birthplace: London, UK
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 225 lbs
Number: 3
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SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S55:
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Transactions and Awards:
Drafted 54th overall by the Nevada Battleborn in the S55 SMJHL Draft

[/pbhfx]

Player Page || Update Page

Most Likely to eat poutine soaked in her opponents tears: Florence Cljisters
Nothing makes her happier than her opponents complete misery

Most Likely to get drunk at the local Pro-Am and hit on the underage cart girls: Shooter McGavin
Also likes to say,"Do you know who I am?"

Most Likely to start a Fascist movement: Gottlieb-Odilo-Dankward McZehrl
Has a stylish brown shirt collection at home too

Most Likely to Retire First: Ashley J. Caboose. Come on it's JPL and he hasn't even update him/her.

Most Likely to be an Er Multi: Iam Essellemm

Most likely to order the same thing at every restaurant: Esa Anrikkanen. Chicken Parm or bust for him.

Most likely to go back to the an assisted living for old people when the game is done: Elyk.

Most likely to be dead to me: Sven Brokstad.

Most likely to have an career in the WWE when he retires: Conor McGregor.

Most likely to recreate as a goalie: Aleksandr Aleksandrov Jr.

RIP Mac & 701

Player Page  |  Updates

Most likely to force a call up - Eri Arai

Most likely to thunder dome someone - Wuma Duce

Most likely to win the Challenge Cup and Four Star cup in their career - Luuk Kraaijkamp

Most likely to pass 1000 TPE: Freidich Koenig
At 444 TPE Koenig is already well on his way to passing the 1000TPE mark, he'll likely be a bigtime contributor by next season and should be a star player within seasons.

Most likely to not be contacted by GM's pre-draft: Radovan Hudec
Happened the last draft so will probably happen again. Seriously, message me GM's!

Most likely to not live up to the hype of his other players: GOAT McZehrl
I'm sure GOAT McZehrl will be another asskicker McZehrl but the fact that he's a defenseman and his other two players were forwards along with the ice-time restrictions put in place are going to make it near impossible for him to replicate what he did with Chris and VLAD.

Käri Bärköv || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED  
Age: 18
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 175 lbs
Number: 93
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Height: 5'11"
Weight: 175 lbs
>Number: 93
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Regular Season Statistics:
S10 VAN: GP: 40 G: 29 A: 25 P: 54 +/-: 21 H: 77 PIM: 42
S11 CHI:   GP: 40 G: 16 A: 14 P: 30 +/-: -39 H: 66 PIM: 10
S12 CGY: GP: 50 G: 5 A: 6 P: 11 +/-: -16 H: 57 PIM: 2
S13 CGY: GP: 50 G: 8 A: 13 P: 21 +/-: 20 H: 34 PIM: 24  
S14 CGY: GP: 50 G: 13 A: 13 P: 26 +/-: 5 H: 73 PIM: 32
S15 CGY: GP: 50 G: 10 A: 31 P: 41 +/-: 5 H: 128 PIM: 54
S16 CGY: GP: 50 G: 19 A: 15 P: 34 +/-: 0 H: 97 PIM: 16
S17 CGY: GP: 50 G: 23 A: 25 P: 48 +/-: +6 H: 136 PIM: 17
S18 CGY: GP: 50 G: 14 A: 21 P: 35  +/-: -11 H: 130 PIM: 32
S19 CGY: GP: 50 G: 16 A: 17 P: 33 +/-: +4 H: 143 PIM: 47
S20 CGY: GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26  P: 46 +/-: +14 H: 113 PIM: 32
S21 CGY: GP: 50 G: 12 A: 19 P: 31 +/-: 4 H: 146 PIM: 76
S22 CGY/EDM: GP: 51 G: 10 A: 12 P: 22 +/-: -7 H: 102
PIM: 43

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Playoff Statistics:
S10 VAN: GP: 12 G: 6 A: 9 P: 15 +/-: 6 H: 28 PIM: 25 FO: 50.00%
S11 CHI:  GP: 6 G: 5 A: 4 P: 9 +/-: 2 H: 12 PIM: 2
S12 CGY: GP: 4 G: 0 A: 2 P: 2 +/-: 3 H: 4 PIM: 0  
S13 CGY: GP: 11 G: 2 A: 1 P: 3 +/-: 4 H: 6 PIM: 4  
S14 CGY: GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 P: 2 +/-: -3 H: 13 PIM: 10
S15 CGY: GP: 14 G: 2 A: 3 P: 5 +/-: -1 H: 28 PIM: 12
S16 CGY: GP: 11 G: 7 A: 7 P: 14 +/-: 5 H: 29 PIM: 2
S17 CGY: GP: 6 : G: 3 A: 3 P: 6 =/-: +0 H: 26
PIM: 0
S18 CGY: GP: 4 G: 3 A: 0 P: 3 +/-: -1 H: 10 PIM: 0
S19 CGY: GP: 7 G: 2 A: 1 P: 3 +/- 0 H: 16 PIM: 8
S22 CGY: GP: 12 G: 0 A: 2 P: 2 +/-: 6 H:19 PIM: 12
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IHF Statistics:
WJC Finland Season 10: GP: 14 G: 5 A: 2 P: 7 +/-: -13 H: 17 PIM: 4
WJC Finland Season 11: GP:9 G: 5 A: 6 P: 11 +/-: -5 PIM: 2
IHF Finland (career totals): GP: 35 G: 13 A: 19 P: 32 +/-: +4 H: 64  PIM: 8
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[pbl]Transactions:
Signed with Vancouver Whalers for 2 Million
Named Assistant Captain of the Vancouver Whalers
Drafted 22nd overall by the Calgary Dragons in the S11 SHL Entry Draft
Signed 3 year 11 million ELC with Calgary Dragons
Named Assistant Captain of the Chicago Hitmen
Named CO-GM of the Vancouver Whalers
Named CO-GM of the Calgary Dragons
Named Head GM of the Calgary Dragons
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S10 NWJHL Championship
S10 IHF WJ Bronze Medal
Season 11 Michael Haan trophy winner for most dedicated player
Season 13 IHF Silver Medal
Season 13 JJ Krever award for best GM (shared with Kain Webb)
Season 13 IHF Silver Medal
Season 14 JJ Krever runner up
Season 14 IHF Silver Medal
Season 15 Aidan Richan winner
Season 17 First All-Star Team
Season 17 Aidan Richan winner
Season 18 IHF Bronze Medal
Season 18 Damian Littleton Nominee

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Parker Smeb || RD || Chicago Syndicate || 1473 TPE
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S45 COL: GP: 50 G: 14 A: 13 P: 27 +/-: 9 H: 68 SB: 5
S46 COL:  GP: 40 G: 22 A: 19 P: 41 +/-: 2 H: 127 SB: 3
SMJHL Play-Off Statistics:
S45 COL: GP: 16 G: 6 A: 4 P: 10 +/-: 8 H: 13 SB: 0
S46 COL: GP: 7 G: 2 A: 0 P: 2  +/-: 1 H: 20 SB: 3
SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S47 CHI: GP: 50 G: 10 A: 18 P: 28 +/-: -12 H: 138 SB: 11
S48 CHI: 50 G: 8 A: 9 P: 17 +/-: -19 H: 119 SB: 8  
S49 CHI: GP: 50 G: 14 A: 20 P: 34 +/-: 5 H: 77 SB: 15
SHL Play-Off Statistics
S47 CHI: GP: 9 G: 1 A: 3 P: 4 +/-: -3 H: 9 SB: 0
International Statistics:
S45 WJ WOR GP: 21 G: 4 A: 5 P: 9 +/-: -1 H: 51 SB: 3
S46 WJ WOR GP: 30 G: 11 A: 7 P: 18 +/-: -5 H: 62 SB: 4
S47 JPN GP: 12 G: 5 A: 2 P: 7 +/-: -4 H: 34 SB: 4
S48 JPN GP: 12 G: 4 A: 3 P: 7 +/-: -9 H: 50 SB: 4
S49 JPN GP: 12 G: 4 A: 1 P: 5 +/-:+2 H: 37 SB: 4
CAREER: GP: 87 G: 28 A: 18 P: 46 +/-: -17 H: 234 SB: 19




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"“HA HA! THIS GAME WILL NEVER END! I POSSESS THE SOUL OF EVERY GOALIE ON TEAM B!! CREW 4 LIFE!! SIGN WITH EDMONTON FOR THE CUP!!!” cackled Belial as he placed a Fedora on his head."
SMJHL Commisioner S17-S26
Calgary Dragons GM S14-S23