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egregious · 04-08-2025, 04:06 PM

Milestones: +3

For Fan Appreciation Day, the Quebec City Citadelles recognized that fans, spoiled after back-to-back championships, might be somewhat disappointed by a second-round exit. Recognizing their sadness, knowing their brand, and having a firm appreciation of bad puns led the team to distribute a completely horrible product: a package of containing a single wet-wipe, branded with the QCC logo (on the wet-wipe) and pictures (on the package) of all the QCC rookies from the season just-concluded, presumably the next season's stars. The name of the product? The Moist (t)Owlet. If the team's bad sense of humour didn't get you, the streak of Citadelles-blue dye on whatever skin you just tried to clean might.
The fortunate bit is that the team recognized the flaws of the product with the first run. Did they stop? Did they cancel the second run? No. They had 15 times the planned number of (t)Owlets produced. Only the final one was free of the gross blue dye smearing issue. The rest? Those were surreptitiously send to other teams' fan clubs. "Wash your hands of Citadelles" YouTube shorts followed. The Owlets' (t)Owlets out-pranked the pranksters.

(200+ words)

Toivo · 04-08-2025, 08:25 PM

Milestone +1 tpe

retuperkele · 04-09-2025, 02:49 AM

Checklist

BXM · 04-10-2025, 12:59 AM

2. Looking towards the future

After a great regular season and a not-so-great postseason, the Highlanders lost some key players. Two players especially come to mind, Hotdog Lunch and Jeff Kirkstone III. Hotdog Lunch was a key factor to the Highlanders success, having a great season and totaling 95 points, 44 goals and 327 shots. The Highlanders will really miss him next year, but for every negative there is a positive if you choose to see it. This opens up the first line for a bunch of promising players. I'm really interested to see who will get the top spot. It might be Optimus Autonomous who had a really great second season in the J, or maybe Dydney Frosby, who had an amazing rookie year, or it could be Bam Morris, who is also a really great player. Another key player the Highlanders will lose is good old Jeff Kirkstone III, the Highlanders goaltender. Kirkstone had a stellar year with the Highlanders last year, posting 25 wins over 46 games played and finishing with a GAA of 3.22 and a S% of 0.899. It will be interesting to see how the Highlanders fare next season without a star goaltender, but who knows, maybe their current backup, Victor Bjork-Pejlikka or a new goaltender they bring in might steal the show and have an opportunity to show off. Who knows, only time will tell. They also lost some S83 players who helped them in the playoff push. Since the Highlanders flopped out of the first round in the postseason, they got a decently early first rounder (7OA), as well as a 2nd (27OA) and a fourth (59OA). I think the Highlanders should select a star winger with their first rounder, as that will fill the gap left by Hotdog Lunch, at least in the future. Some realistic targets are Shio Corin , Show Pera, and Zara Wolf, if any of them are still around by the 7th pick. With their 2nd rounder I think they should select a defenseman to fill one of the two spots left by the S83 players. Possible targets: Kameron Urchin-Mullin, Alphonse Alakazam, and Iam Essellemm Jr. I think The Highlanders should also keep an eye out on the S83 Goalies. If they start to disappear, they might want to look into investing their second rounder for a goalie. If not, they should probably look to take a goalie with their fourth or just hire a S82 FA. if they hire an FA the fourth rounder will probably be invested in a defenseman. Possible goalie targets include: Lurtz Makoare, Olivia Osgood, and Joe McPadstack. We will see. All of this is up in the air, but I know one thing. I'm excited for the S82 Highlanders!

(454 words)

11. a 6 star show

Based on playoff performances, I was tasked with making the “star line” so to speak. Although there are many really good options, and it was very tough to choose which players to go with, I finally settled on the line I am about to present to you. I give you the 6 star line! Starting in the dot, we have Mel Guolla from the Kelowna Knights. I picked Mel Guolla for their elite playmaking talent and general all-around game. I believe Mel Guolla can reach an even higher potential playing between the two wingers I have chosen. Left of him, we have Walbilly Koala from the Carolina Kraken. I picked Walbilly Koala for their amazing goal scoring ability. Walbilly Koala had the most goals in the postseason at 18, in 22 games played. Traveling far right, we have Hetaksh, from the Carolina Kraken. Hetaksh had the most points in the postseason, averaging almost 2 points per game. These three forwards each have amazing potential and they bring their own flair to any line combo they are a part of. Shifting focus to the other end of the ice, for left defense I have Kenneth Lind from the Carolina Kraken. Kenneth Lind had the most points by defenseman in the postseason, as well as being a significant contributor defensively. His partner will be none other than Erik Johnson from the Kelowna Knights. I picked Erik Johnson for their elite defensive talent and their ability to shut down all opposition. Last, but definitely not least, between the pipes, we have none other than Honza Havran from the Carolina Kraken. This was probably my toughest choice, but it would be an insult to pick anyone else. Honza Havran was lights out for the Kraken. There you have it, if this line ever got together, magic would happen, i will guarantee it.

(308 words)

12. on the radar

One very promising goalie prospect is Victor Bjork-Pejlikka. Standing at 6,3 and weighing in at 203 lbs, Victor has had quite the rookie season as a backup for the Highlanders, Coming out with a 2.93 GAA and a 0.898 SV% over 23 games wearing #68. He is also slotted into the sweden WJC roster and is the projected starter, but that has a high likelihood to change. Victor prioritizes positioning above all else but also possesses great reflexes and a snappy glove. His weakest spot is his blocker, and he struggles with shots higher than the blocker level on the blocker side. Victor also has a knack for chirping and won't hesitate to make the opposition feel the heat after a save, but seems hesitant to actually join a scrum when it seems necessary. He is all bark and no bite. He isn't the most talkative guy around, but owns up to his mistakes, but also lets his teammates hear it when they make a mistake. Victor struggles to play the puck, and often makes poor passing decisions, causing turnovers that lead to scoring chances for the opposition. Victor has potential to become an elite starter in the future and teams that prioritize defense/goaltending should really consider Victor

(212 words)

14. R&R

After a disappointing loss to the St. Louis Scarecrows in R1, Victor Bjork-Pejlikka said farewell to his teammates and headed on the plane back to Sweden, and spent time with his big family. One of his favourite things about growing up is his father would always build a mini indoor rink and Victor and his siblings would spend WAY too much time there. Victor is the only goaltender in his family, so he got LOTS of training when he was younger. Anyways, Victor, with the help of his siblings, practiced his positioning, poke check, reflexes and skating abilities. He flew back just in time to make WJC and the SHL entry draft.

(112 words)

18 Milestones https://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=142040&pid=3653221#pid3653221

plummdogmillionaire · 04-10-2025, 04:11 PM

> 1. Fan Appreciation Day
For Fan Appreciation day, I would design a bobblehead kit. The body would be wearing a Highlanders jersey on top, with velcro on the back to place a number and name. There would be a spring ready to connect a head. The included head, name, and number would be 00 for the mascot, however at the team store there would be proper names, numbers, and player heads for sale for anyone who wanted a specific player's bobblehead. There would also be an optional goalie mask available. The bottom would be a replica of the Highlander's Scottish tartan, and the skate would be a blade attached to a Scottish brogue. (111 word response, 111 words total)

> 3. Secret Plans
The Highlanders medical staff hired several post-doc researchers accross several domains including medicine, psychology, physiology, and neuroscience to supplement their staff. During the season, they experimented with various techniques to decrease recovery time and improve trainings. A small crack team was tasked with uncovering unconventional methods from modern and breaking research.

One change was borne from studies on Formula 1 drivers. They are legendary for insane reflexes and reaction times. Doctors have determined that they require significantly less time to look, process, and react. The offseason regimen will be implementing the types of training those drivers use to improve on-ice vision and reaction time, especially at full speed skating.

The first exercise is the "blinky button". Players will have to press a button when it lights up, and the computer measures their response time. After the baseline, the light will only be on for a short duration, decreasing as time goes on.

Another exercise is the ball drop. Players stand with their hands at their side, a teammate holds two balls outstretched and random drops one. The first player must catch it.

It gets more interesting with the compound exercises. The "blinky light" becomes a "Simon dot" like the children's game. The dot will light up with a random color. Each color corresponds to a specific reaction that the player must quickly perform. This can be applied to skating direction drills, offensive or defensive decision making drills, and even tactical breakout patterns.

Medical science already influences workouts, the mental side should give them the edge needed. (259 word response, 370 words total)

> 4. Funtimes
As Fun Director we will be competing in a variety of challeneges for points. The player with the highest points will win the Grog Cup for the next season. Each game will be chosen for a specific trait.

For the ability to influence your teammates, Jackbox mini games will be used. For trivia and smarts, 1 vs 100 and Jeopardy will be used. For video game skills it will be Unreal Tournament. Bop It's will be used for dexterity and reactions. A bench press and pull up competition for strength, and finally a hotdog eating contest for constitution and willpower. It should be a blast! (106 word response, 476 words total)

> 9. What's in a Name?
Dee Centerman IV Jr has to be my top name in the SMJHL for a multitude of reasons. Most obviously, he is a single 'z' away from a classic uncouth joke from childhood. His name perfectly embodies his position without any wasted syllables or letters. The hilarious suffix IV Jr obviously obfusctates the fact he is FIFTH of his name. That crucial fact puts him ahead of several kings and Popes throughout history whose name dynasty did not stretch that long. It also makes him relatable, because hearing "the Fifth" at the end of your name brings out a bit off classism, but "Jr" is perfectly accessible socially. (108 word response, 584 total)

> 11. A 6 Star Show
Family. It's the single most important to thing to Vin Diesel, and also to most players. Their families sacrifices include time away, money, and public spotlight. With that in mind, I wanted to make the Giant Sequioa of family trees from SMJHL players. These six have the trunkiest trunk and rootiest roots of any legacy hockey family!

The starting goaltender is obviously Jeff Kirkstone III.
The defensive pairing is Jeremy Snugglemuffin III and our sole second degree Orr 2.0.
The forward line wingers are Vladimir Bar-down III and Aloysius Hoglord III.
Finally, the center Dee Centerman IV Jr with an astounding FIFTH of his name.(108 word response, 692 words total)

> 14. R&R
Mikkel is going to head home to Hamar, Norway to visit family and friends. His favorite international bar, Hamarzeit has created a specialty cocktail honoring him that he is dying to try. Being at home also means comfort food, and his mom's kjøttkaker med brunsaus is infinitely better than any approximation with "Swedish Meatballs" elsewhere in the world. (59 word response, 751 words total)

> 18. Milestones

https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3659065

(2 milestones == 2 TPE == 100 words, "851" words total)

pboomg · 04-11-2025, 01:57 AM

3. Secret Plans
It’s never too early to start thinking about how you’re going to gain a competitive edge next season! How is your team going to go the extra mile to get wins next season? Is it a secret training regimen? Sneaky equipment modifications? Booby trapping the visiting teams’ locker room? Anything goes.

The Quebec Citadelles are certainly in a rebuild. That's the whole plan. If you declare yourself as competing, you will lose, if you declare yourself as rebuilding, you will win. Obviously, that does not apply to the Falcons, as they are consistently able to win and lose whenever they feel like it. Also, the Citadelles are going to send some players (Chubby Barista, Timothy Welch, Greg Evil) to go fight the other teams over the offseason and like... break their legs or something idk. It is quite the strategy, but I trust our goons to go take them out. Also, we will be threatening the refs so we can reduce penalty minutes for next season. I think all of these things can combine to really improve this REBUILDING team, as we move on and begin a new era in QCC. Also we may be paying off the sim team, but you didn't hear that from me.

156 Words
+3 TPE

12. On the Radar
Write a pre-draft scout report on your player from the perspective of a journalist covering the prospects of the S82 SHL draft class. What do possible SHL suitors have to be excited (or perhaps wary?) about when it comes to potentially drafting your player?

Sethastierikko Goslavechnaaliemiooketkov is an interesting prospect, and not just because of his name. The mostly average Center put up decent stats in his rookie junior season, primarily putting up numbers on the defensive side of the puck. His best qualities seem to be in his mediocrity, a guy that can really put in some minutes for you while doing nothing too special. The kid does seem to have some potential, certainly having some possibility to become a star later on in his career. If he can focus on a single trait and really develop it this kid will make a name for himself, which will hopefully be shorter than his actual name.

112 Words
+2 TPE

16. Goals
Although your career may still be in its early stages, it's still a great time to think about the future. What are some goals you have for your career, or some personal goals for the site? Are you striving for a HOF induction? Getting a site job?

I'm thinking I do want to get involved in this league, both as a player and as a member. Focusing on my player first, I would like to build to at least a moderately high TPE level and contend for points lead at least once in my career. I hope I can stay as a center for my career, but I wouldn't mind changing at some point to help improve my team. I think if I can just consistently earn like I do, I should be fine with these goals. Earning is a little difficult in this league though, so I will have to find some time to make money for my player, which I will hopefully be able to do with a league job. Helping the league and myself out at the same time is a big goal of mine. I don't see a HOF induction being realistic, especially with the kind of build I'm going for, but then again, I'm willing to change to help out my team. For team goals I'm not sure I really care about winning all that much, just having fun is enough for me. Time on the ice and putting up number is all I really care about, so I wouldn't mind being on a bad team at all if the locker room is fine. I'm sure Calgary is going to be great though, under a bunch of QCC friends and people I already know, the locker room is the least of my worries. Let's hope I have a nice career.

258 Words
+5 TPE

18. Milestones
You will have the opportunity to cover up to 3/16 TPE with milestones relating to your player's performance/accolades during the season. Link your post in the Milestones thread and post your comment in your PSB reply to claim.

https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3658630

+3 TPE

Affiliate Claim

PBE PT
https://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/...t&p=867497

+3 TPE

Prompts 3, 12, 16, 18, Affiliate
3+2+5+3+3 = 16
+16/16 TPE

mattebleu · 04-11-2025, 03:17 PM

2. Looking Towards the Future

The St. Louis Scarecrows’ SMJHL playoff run shocked the entire league and the team. We were among the worst teams in multiple categories during the season, and our downright atrocious record proved it. However, thanks to the outstanding chemistry we built during the season, many of our rookies gained TPE as if their lives depended on it, and with our wonderful GMs, we became a spoiler team with a chip on their shoulders.

Looking at our roster, there are not many “needs” anywhere. There have been a few IAs, but that will usually happen with a large draft class. Last season, our second line consisted of players in the low 200s. Those same players are still the second line but with 350 TPE instead. St. Louis is in a great position to compete at an even higher level. Our third line could use some help, but that’ll be the case every season.

If anything, we need to prepare for a season or two down the road. Our defensive captain Jean Bon and our primary scorers will be in the SHL before we know it. If we can bolster our defense, grab a few active wings, and a backup goalie, St. Louis will be in an excellent position for the future.

210 Words

3. Secret Plans

Our kissing regime in St. Louis swept the nation, but it also got us swept during the conference finals. Mono spread like wildfire in the clubhouse and led to an embarrassing series. After multiple clubhouse meetings, a few crying sessions, and one hell of a parade, the path forward is clear: we need to boost our immune systems. There is a simple way to solve this problem, which would be kissing even more; however, the St. Louis Scarecrows do not believe in easy solutions, we’d instead challenge ourselves.

The team came together and formulated a brilliant plan. We would begin eating dirt for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. A slightly obtuse idea, sure, but it’s foolproof. Everyone knows children eat dirt growing up and it boosts their immune systems substantially. Don’t fact-check me on that information, I’m begging you. We’ll have the best immune system the SHL has ever seen, and it might will make us unstoppable.

Another secret plan of ours will increase our scoring capabilities. Before each game, we will have one of our goalies play in the opposing net. That’s right, the St. Louis Scarecrows have been working on their stealth stats this offseason. Nobody on the other team will expect this. Some coaches might call this illegal tampering, but we Scarecrows dubbed it playing to our advantage. We can score on our goalies https://discord.com/channels/34485952558...0032during practice (because they graciously allow us to), which means we can easily score against our own goalies during a game. The league better watch out!

252 Words

16. Goals

After my first season in the SJHL as a first-time player… I’m having an absolute blast. There’s something about this simulation game that tickles part of my brain – watching my player succeed (or fail) on the ice, getting to write funny little articles, and meeting new people in the locker room I would’ve never met outside of this community. The more I’ve gotten involved in my young career, the more I want to accomplish with my initial player.

I’m building Swiffer Sweeper to become an all-time assist king. I’m never the scorer in any sports in my real life, I’m always the one getting an assist in some way, it’s just how I’ve always played sports and I want Swiffer to play the same way, while being a decent defensive player as well. Players like that are far and few in between, making it fun to watch.

I want to enter the HOF in some capacity, but I’m not sure if it’s feasible. My daughter’s due date is early October. Once she’s born, I’m sure my free time will drop off a cliff; I’ve heard babies take a lot of your time! The goal is to become a max earner if possible, but realistically I’m probably looking at 1.8k TPE. In my expert rookie opinion, that’s solid for a first-time user!

I would eventually like a site job, no matter how little or small it is. This community is fantastic – I love reading all the creative media pieces everyone writes, they brighten up my day. Without the volunteer jobs the community employs, SHL wouldn’t be as successful as it is. I’d love to be a rater for Deep Dives or other written media. The deep dives pique my interest because you have many new users digging into historical data for the first time. I know when I wrote my deep dives, I was enthralled by teams’ history – where they’ve come from and what they’re planning for in the future. Anytime I can assist a community like this in some capacity, I’m more than happy to.

Overall, my goal is to be involved in the community for quite some time, whether as a player or someone with a site job.

369 Words

SilverBlitzenAG · 04-11-2025, 04:01 PM

1) On the first home game of the season, to commemorate the season prior, Silver would recommend that Thunder Bay hand out rally towels to thank fans for their support of the season past, and for their continued support into the current season. The towel itself would be the Mardi Gras purple that Thunder Bay is known for, with the Walleye logo displayed proudly in the center, with the text in lightning yellow reading "Thank You Walleye Fans!". This would help the towel differentiate itself from so many other rally towels, and also help to make it a unique and special item for fans to cherish. - 105

3) It's always fun to think about how to gain any competitive advantage over your opponents, but it's important to remember to practice so you don't lose your edge. However, Silver is going to pour over the rulebook to see if there's anything that the organizers may have overlooked (like "can we put a walrus in net?" or "can a player fly through the air with the puck on their stick?"). Any sort of rule that can be played around with until the loophole is closed feels about as fair of a secret plan as you can get. Of course, there's also a much more mellow advantage that Thunder Bay could get, and it would be messing with the color of the ice to psych out opponents. Maybe draw a few cracks in the yellow ice to spook opponents into thinking they're about to break the ice and cause a delay in the game, so they'll be less likely to skate hard. - 161

4) The best ways to build team spirit while also having a good time is to do events that, while competitive, bring out the best in everyone participating. Silver enjoys a bit of laser tag and paintball, so he would try and get some of the players in Thunder Bay to spend a few days partaking in such festivities. Afterwards, they could all spend some time at a pub or restaurant to eat and just hang out for a little bit, get to building some new and stronger relationships. - 88

13) Superstitions shouldn't be taken lightly. Whether or not you think a superstition is justified or not, there is something about routine that helps to calm players nerves over situations. While Silver doesn't believe in any of the trophy-touching-bad-luck ones, he still realizies that players on his team might, and he will do what he can to not tread on those superstitions. - 61

14) Silver is going to spend the offseason doing what he's done since the earliest days of playing hockey. He's going to let his body rest for a good portion of the offseason, meet up with friends and family he couldn't easily see during the season, and he's going to watch his favorite non-hockey sports teams play. Silver is going to give attention to video games that he hasn't been able to focus on while playing at Thunder Bay, maybe try and get some of his teammates to play with him, but he also had other friends to do that with. Finally, he's going to tune in to the SHL and SMJHL Drafts to see what teams the next generations of players are joining, and who he has to look out for as teammates and rivals for the next season. Then, with enough time until the season starts, he'll start going to local rinks for pickup games, getting back into the rhythm of playing hockey, and getting both body and mind back into shape for the coming season. - 177

15) Giving back is the most important thing in Silver's life, after hockey of course. Silver wouldn't be where he was without the countless people who've helped him in the past. From his parents to his coaches, to his teammates and all the fans of the teams he's played on, he'd never have made it as far as he has. That's why, Silver is proud to volunteer his time with various LGBTQ+ organizations and charities, working tirelessly to promote and create opportunities for marginalized groups to have the same chances that he's had. - 92

16) Silver has had two goals on his mind ever since he got picked up by Thunder Bay in the SMJHL: pick up as many assists as he possibly could, and help his team out in any way possible. Silver has always been one to put others before him, always trying to get the puck to the goal scorers, trying to give his team the best chance possible when he was out on the ice. While he would love to be recognize for his support in the HOF, it's not something that his is pinning his career on. He just wants to do whatever he can, and if he gets into the HOF, then that is just icing on the cake for him. As for myself, I think having a site job would be cool to do, but that's something I would have to give myself a few months to think about before gunning for such a role. - 157

18) https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3653274

Jonnyhockey17 · 04-13-2025, 08:33 AM

2. S81 was a tough season for the Armada, with a long up and down season, ending with a crushing sweep in the first round, dealt by the Kelowna Knights. Going into S82, the Armada will be losing five of their veteran players. Anchorage will lose Hughes Incorporated, a left winger tallying a total of 255 points (98 goals, 157 assists) over his four years with the club, Abbe Wass, a left defender who had 143 points (29 goals, 114 assists) in four years with the Armada, Barcus Juneau, a right defender that scored 165 points (46 goals, 119 assists) in four years with the team, Javelin Bodine, a left defender that had 189 points (54 goals, 135 assists) in 4 years with Anchorage, and finally, Dieter Fruhstuck, a righer defender who had 92 points (15 goals, 77 assists) as well as a whopping 1,053 blocks in his 4 year term.

Of the five players listed above, four are defencemen, which clearly outlines the goal for the Armada’s S82 draft. They will need to focus on rebuilding their defence core, as well as fill in their bottom LW spot. After that, the next step for Anchorage has really yet to be seen, which is the development of their current players. Up front, the forward core looks strong, with a bunch of players entering their 2nd year, as well as a decent 2nd year goalie.

With a decent draft and some improvements from an already young core within, the Armada are primed for a good season in S82.

257 words (5 TPE)

18. Milestones - https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3653133

(3 TPE)

Zinny · 04-13-2025, 07:46 PM

1. In celebration of winning the four star cup, the Carolina Kraken is having an event that's being dubbed the "Krakenpalooza" at their home rink before the first home game of the season. Every attendee will be given a commemorative four star trophy and a token to get their photo taken with any Kraken player. (50+ words)

2. In preperation of the future, the Kraken have drafted 2 defensemen, 5 forwards, and 1 goalie. Their first round pick at #16 is Jumbose Chitters, a defenseman who has already made themselves known in the locker room. They made two second round picks and locked up 2 centers, Five Hole Goes West and Helmfried Kunkel. The Kraken are confident in their draft selections to keep them competitive. Their depth draft picks are Luis Fenstermacher - another center, David LaCroix a defenseman, Joe McPadstack a goalie, James Beauregard a right wing, and Neely a center. While there are painful losses such as Chuck Stewart, the Kraken are paving the way to take another run at the cup in the upcoming seasons. (100+ words)

7. The playoff run Carolina Kraken had was absolutely remarkable. Playing a lower seed team in the conference in the first round, they found themselves quickly in a big hole. They fell 3-0 to the Nevada Battleborn. Adjustments were made going into game 4, switching to a more direct defensive style. It paid off as they completed a reverse sweep.
Next up was Detroit who they routed quickly in a 5 game series. Throughout the playoffs, they were carried largely by their goalie Honza, and their top forward line. As luck would have it, the St. Louis Scarecrows were next on their match ups. St. Louis had a tough season finishing near the bottom, however got hot at the right time, winning their first two rounds. But their luck ran out as Carolina swept them in 4 games.
Their final series was a battle against the Kelowna Knights. They won in 6 games, with a commanding game 6 win, 7-4. (150 + words)

9. The best name without a doubt goes to our newly drafted defenseman, Five Hole Goes West. It's a callback to a classic animated movie from 1986 called Feivel Goes West. It's a sequel to an earlier movie called An American Tale. I highly recommend both. It's very clever turning the title into something hockey related while only changing the spelling on the main characters name. (50+ words)

10. I gotta go with the points leader in the playoffs as the mvp. Our boy Heta on the Kraken put up a monster 43 points. His offensive contributions are largely the reason why the Kraken won the cup. His 31 assists paired expertly with the team's sniper Walbilly Koala who led the league with 18 post season goals. (50+ words)

15. Erkki Kaila has helped bring attention and donations to two charities through his rookie season. The Trevor Project and Advocates for Trans Equality. During an interview, Kaila said "There's already enough hate and stigma cloaked in ignorance in culture, but I think it's even stronger in the hockey world.'It was a different time' is no longer, nor should it ever have been an acceptable excuse for bigotry. If you're an old school fan, that's fine by be. But if old school in your book means you don't think people can be who they are in the world of hockey, well you fuck off honestly." Kaila helped organize two separate pride nights during his rookie season, each one highlighting on each of the previously mentioned charities. (100+ words)

16. As I become more comfortable with the league, I'd like to continue becoming more knowledgeable with what goes into running a team. I'm not racing to be a gm or co by any means, but I'd like to help out where I can. Plus, I'm already ride or die with Carolina. I was included in the discussion and scouting with the previous junior draft which I greatly appreciated. I'm also interested in the chirp moderator job although I'm not sure I'm getting that haha. Taking an intern job would have been a good idea my rookie season but I wanted to make sure I didn't bite off more than I can chew at the start. (100+ words)

718 words in total.

cowbutch · 04-13-2025, 08:50 PM

1. Fan Appreciation:

A Yukon Malamute branded hot dog steamer was given out at Djoe Anderson’s last home game as a Malamute. It had a place to toast your buns on top while your meat steamed below. The team’s alternative logo plastered on one side and Anderson’s number on the other of the cardinal colored device. It was given out to any fans who went out of their way and ordered the limited time hot dog special from the arena concession stand. It’s going for three times the original value on eBay currently. The original price of the special was $20. Djoe was surprised with his own after the game, signed by every player on the team. One of the office staff bought the special just to have one in remembrance of the left winger in the break room. Yukon players have made it their mission to also cover that steamer in their signatures. And a sticker of Anderson’s face.

157 Words

3. Secret Plans:

Casanova’s plan this season is to collect the sweat from opposing players to water the team's tree, Edward. He knows that by using the expelled electrolytes of their opponents to grow the beloved tree, that Edward will make their opponents weaker. Cowboy already has made deals with the St. Louis and Maine laundry staff [by forcing his sister to pose as a super fan] in order to get each team's sweaty, moist towels to ensure their rivals will be weak when they face the mutes. He spends his evenings milking each piece of his rival’s dirty laundry of sweat, spit, and blood as a pilgrimage to his team's success.

102 Words

4. Funtimes:

The Yukon locker room has a wide range of interests. With the consideration of the player’s and their families, as Fun Director I would suggest that the team take an afternoon for some r&r in the valley of the tree. Players can compare pokemon card collections and polish HFFO’s head to reflect light as well as the ice will on opening night. Or we can create a new pilgrimage to increase wins and morale for the upcoming season. Gathering in the Valley is a required team activity as avoiding participation in the cult destroys team morale and makes our dark lord sad. We must remember that players must appease Fluw if we want to win the Four Star Cup. Family participation is not required but highly encouraged. Yabs will appreciate the extra childish whimsy and increase our luck. Also, the children must learn how to worship correctly in order to bring glory to Yukon.

155 Words

14. R&R

Casanova has spent his offseason with his family in California to escape the cold for a bit and reconnect with his siblings. His brother took advantage of his salary and earned himself a new set of goalie pads for his third season in goal for youth hockey. His mom took him to the family’s GP to make sure all his bones and muscles were still in the right places the moment they left the airport. He didn’t even know that the doctor’s office would stay open that late. His father took the family out to dinner for Casanova’s birthday and gifted his son a new pocket knife. The hockey player promised to cut all his tape going forward with said gift. Most of his friends were too busy with school to hang out with him before the draft. But he is ready to get back on the ice with his homesickness cured for a bit.

155 Words

15. Charity Drive

Casanova went out of his way to immerse himself in the art community of Yukon. He also made sure to educate himself on the local indigenous peoples. He decided to make an appearance at an arts and music festival. Offering autographs for any donation amount so long fans brought their own item for him to sign. Those who didn’t bring anything had the chance of purchasing an indigenous artist’s illustration of a malamute wearing his number, guarding the entrance to Takhini Arena. They offered prints, stickers, and t-shirts of the design and sold out completely. Cowboy barely got one of each item himself. The donations gathered would be split between the artist and community art museum. Cowboy’s appearance would cover the stall fees of two artists and a food truck. He’d pay for his illustrator’s fees out of his own pocket, alongside her commission fee. The art museum has the print hanging behind the welcoming desk in thanks for his efforts.

161 Words

18. Milestones

Reply is here Smile

Dewalt27 · 04-13-2025, 09:21 PM

Prompt #1
Its fan Appreciation day at the Maine Timbers game! When you let Holeh Guacamole be in charge of stuff like this you know there is going to be something special planned for the give away items! Today every fan who talks in that door is going to be given a Avacado tree! Obviously this is a fitting gift given the Timber team name and the fact that you can make some Guacamoleh. We always support planting more trees and this is a gift that keeps on giving for years to the fans. Unfortunately for the fans these wonderful gifts wont start to produce any fruit for them for several years after Holeh has made his way to the major leagues since Avacado trees dont bear the fruit for three to four years and I’ve got 3 left at max. Hopefully they have plenty of room in the the house to keep these trees out of the harsh Maine weather. (159 Words 3 TPE)

Prompt #2
Going into the S82 seasons Maine is looking to add several key members to our team to help us make that push deeper into the playoffs and hopefully with a higher seed to help us get some easier competition. The biggest plans would be to address the defense. We should look to add atleast 1 or 2 key defenders to join me. Especially on the 3rd line where most of us are struggling to record a positive plus/minus on the season. Obviously depth is something we’re lacking at this point and that lead to tired players who faltered at key moments in the playoffs last season. Once you addressed the fact that you’re letting up too many point then you add another goal scorer. While not the most needed addition for a team that has quite the all around playstyle you cant lose when you put the puck in the net more than your opponent and thats something every team should be constantly targeting and improving on. There is no need to make any goaltending changes even though defense may need help there are clearly some young but capable goal tenders who have the position on lockdown and while competition is always nice its not needed at the current time. (211 words, 4 TPE)

Prompt #4
Holeh Guacamoleh is a party animal, but its not just parties and big events that get Holeh goin, he will take his role as fun director very seriously and address the needs of all people and personality types. Starting off we’re going to plan fun events like Golf, mini golf, bowling and trips to the arcade. These are fun events out that can have some competitive edge but can be handled in a teambuilding way that can help build relationships and memorable moments between the group. For those who like to stay inside lets play some board games. We might start off with some cooperative games pandemic that we work as a team. Then we potentially strategy games such as Dune or Brass Birmingham and end it off with some casual Jackbox games that let us see others humor levels and creativity so that we can all continue to build on the idea of bonding. The team will also regularly take trips to the spa together to get hot stone massages and other forms of recovery that will be relaxing but also give our bodies the additional recovery they need since we put them on the line every night for the team and fans. (204 words, 4 TPE)

Prompt #14
Gucamoleh knows that hes still young and recovers pretty easy but that he’s hoping for a long career in the SHL and that not taking the proper recovery time is not the best mindset for him and his future family. He plans to invest the most of the money he has into the best resources that are available. The media has done plenty of pieces on athletes like Lebron James and the amount they spend just to stay compeititve in their sport. So im not looking at the elite athletes of their sport and doing the same things im doing it wrong. There will be a cryo machine in my house but unlike Antonio Brown I’ll be wearing shoes in mine. I will get daily massages as well as specific recovery focused training and Yoga to help with core and flexibility. I will be only using the TB12 diet methods but sinceim not vegan it will be modified to address having more meals with meat and other proteins to increase muscle. No one plays Quarterback in the NFL for as long as Brady without understanding the methods to the madness and he didnt see the fall off that we’ve seen from other QBs of a similar age. The last and most important part of the plan is investing and building an independent research team to find the fountain of youth. This will be top secret but if the point of recovery is staying young then this is the only tride and true option to really allow Holeh to play however long his heart is still in the game. (268 words, 5 TPE)

ItZSmalls · 04-13-2025, 10:18 PM

4. Funtimes:
Here's what I have in mind for our St. Louis outing:
9:00 AM: Begin the day on a good note with a sumptuous brunch at SweetArt Bakeshop & Cafe . The establishment offers tasty, locally sourced food in a serene setting. Think lovely pastries, tasty brunch items, and robust coffee to refresh us and power our activities. It is an ideal place to meet up. .

At 10:30 AM, we head towards the ultimate St. Louis experience: a visit to the Gateway Arch National Park. We will head to the riverfront and go to the top of the Arch by tram. The city views and the views of the Mississippi River are absolutely stunning and give a very different outlook. Besides, it is something that one cannot miss when in St. Louis.

Midday (Culture & Green Space):

At 12:30 Pm, We will explore culture art at the St. Louis art museum, Plus there is not admission fee. Wecan stroll the galleries independently, share our preferred works of art, or take advantage of the air-conditioning.

2:00 PM: A bit of change of air and view at Forest Park. This is just ginormous urban nirvana. We can get some easy lunch at one of the park restaurants or food stands and sit in a nice spot and have an easy picnic. Afterwards, we can choose our own adventure:

At 4:00 PM: Go to the City Museum. It's a wild vision playground built from reclaimed architectural and industrial materials. Think giant slides, climbing structures, and hidden tunnels – sure to bring out our inner kid and provide some goofy photo opportunities.

At 6:00 PM: Local flavor time. We will head over to the Soulard neighborhood, renowned for its historic charm and lively personality. We can enjoy pre-dinner drinks at one of the numerous pubs and take in the distinctive atmosphere.

At 7:30 PM: Dinner at one of the classic old St. Louis restaurants in Soulard. Options could be some excellent BBQ, traditional German cuisine, or other St. Louis staples. Let's decide as a group what everyone would like.
AT 9:00 PM If there is still energy to spare, we can either go to a live music club in Soulard or visit a rooftop bar for nightcaps and viewing the cityscape before returning.

382 Words

14. R&R:
My offseason program will include three phases to help me perform at my best: Phase 1—Total Reset, Phase 2—Gradual Return & Skill Maintenance, and Phase 3—Pre-Season Prep.

Phase 1: Total Reset (First Few Weeks)
It's a must to step away from the rink during this time. I'm hitting pause on game tapes and cutting back on hockey news. This part is about clearing my head and shaking off mental exhaustion. Think of it as a "Ctrl+Alt+Delete" for my brain. Spend some quality Time with Family and Friends. I want to spend some quality time with the people there for me all season long. This means having honest conversations, pitching around the house, and maybe even taking a little trip where hockey isn't on the agenda.. That might be a few weekend getaways up to the cabin with family and catching up with friends back home
Having recovery Time for My Body I'm about letting my body heal. Instead of rushing back to the gym, I'll focus on resting, doing some light stretching, or maybe some easy yoga to get the blood flowing. And yes, naps have become a legit part of my training routine! I'll also check in with the team trainers about any annoying injuries to ensure I'm ready for the next phase.

Phase 2: Gradual Return & Skill Maintenance (Mid-Offseason)
Then I'll start getting into low-impact workouts like hiking, swimming, and maybe biking. The goal here is to get moving without overdoing it. I might hit the ice with friends for a few chill skates to keep my feel for the puck. Nothing serious—just some fun without the stress of drills.
'll zero in on specific areas of my game that I want to sharpen up. Maybe I'll work on my shot, improve my stickhandling, or boost my skating agility. I could do individual skill drills on the ice or off-ice practice, focusing on these areas. This phase is all about my personal growth rather than anything team-related.

Phase 3: Pre-Season Prep (Later Offseason)
Now it's about ramping up my training again. I'll slowly increase the intensity and frequency of my workouts, getting back into a solid strength and conditioning program to build the muscle and endurance I'll need for the upcoming season.I want to join some informal skates with other pros or hop into pre-camp sessions. This is my chance to get my timing and conditioning back to match game speed. While not directly scouting, I'm curious about who the team will pick in the SHL draft. The new players could be my future teammates, so I'll keep tabs on that and might even reach out to welcome them if they join us. It's always exciting to see the next wave of talent coming in.
I'm all in on eating clean and staying hydrated. Just because the season's over doesn't mean I can let my healthy habits slide. I'm trying to keep in touch with my teammates. We're a tight-knit group; keeping that bond strong over the summer is key. Group chats and maybe some hangouts are definitely on my agenda. At the end of the day, the offseason is all about mentally and physically recharging, spending quality time with my loved ones, and gradually gearing up for the challenge of the next season. It's the perfect time to step back from the hustle while laying down the foundation to come back even stronger.

568 words

***ProjectSaint*** · Yesterday, 01:03 AM

- Prompt 2:
Yeah yeah yeah, I get it that I'm going through this task well after the draft was all said and done, but in all truthful honesty, I do think that St Louis would be coming into the coming season with so much excitement already on the cards. Why would that be the case? Oh I don't know at all, perhaps a good reason could be the St Louis Seven: A core of 7 players from the S82 draft that have grown very close together whilst making massive waves with their progress and productive output.

From Teemu Jarvinen holding down the fort in net to Paul Missthenet and Eric Sosa providing the thunder and lighting foil from the blue line. From Swift Sweeper's dazzling playmaking ability to string gorgious passes to CHIVO burning opponents on ice with a offensive blitz and blur. And from Wal Rus trading pads for two way defensive chaos to Toivo Jokinen providing the star power to top off the huge core that St Louis have.

The worst part for other teams to consider is that this core is only just coming into its own after a rookie season where they made an upset run to the conference finals, breaking the hearts of Ottawa and San Diego in the process. Yet they are hungry to go even further after such a run, and for that, they will need some complementary pieces.

Coming into the draft for St Louis, there wasn't a heavy need for defensemen thanks to their veterans still sticking around. Even though this would be their last year in the J, the ever reliable services of Jean Bon and Chungledown Bim can be handedly called upon to lead the blue line. Meanwhile, Zac Peters brings an arsenal of offensive firepower and Boogan McGillicuddy can provide solid two way support from center and his natural role on the wing.

All that leaves is the new guys to help out with centre depth. Step forward Mid Knight and Jordin FourFour III, two natural centres who have all the capability to win the puck in the trenches and create plays. Joining them from S83 is Shio Corin to deliver another scoring angle and Rondellus-Ringo Ramaat to provide that defensive anchore to fill out the D-core. Young guys they may be, but they can easily mold their paths however they wish, and they will have plenty of time to do so as they wish before they make their ways into the SHL draft.

Where does that leave St Louis and my thoughts to their future? It leaves me more than enthusiastic with what they will be able to produce on the ice. What we see is a huge core that they have built around, suplemented with veterans and youth that have all the tools needed to support and create, and a huge window in the J to make a run to win it all. I think the future is looking more than bright for the Scarecrows, and I have no doubt that we can deliver the goods to be a huge threat to win it all. (517 Words / 10 TPE)

- Prompt 8:
In an alternate world, I have no doubt that CHIVO would follow down the path his two older relatives would have taken, donning the blue and yellow of the Colorado Raptors. I would choose that team because I have alot of fond memories with the org, complete with deep runs and successful seasons. However, I do have a bit of sadness knowing that I didn't get to win the Four-Star Cup with them, but such is how J hockey can go, and it would be fun to see how things might have changed.

In all honesty, I have my reservations with how CHIVO might fit in and have a major impact. With the Scarecrows, CHIVO was always set up with freedom to attack and attack, no need to think heavily on defence if at all. He would either be on an all offensive line or with a two-way forward to ease him of the defensive burdens. I'd imagine that CHIVO would be lined up with Servin Quinn and Wilhem Seider, two creative forwards that can also handle defensive duties, allowing CHIVO to go out guns blazing with agency to score, score and score.

I have no doubts that CHIVO would improve the team, his speed and scoring capabilities would allowing those skills and abilities to do so. but I also will temper my expectations and say that he might not be enough to push them over San Diego. The same conditions that allowed St Louis to win isn't exactly there in Colorado, and whilst CHIVO is certainly a huge piece in that puzzle, he isn't enough to solve it all. (270 Words / 5 TPE)

- Prompt 18:
Milestone Line (50 words technically / 1 TPE)

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