Login

*traphag* · 04-15-2020, 09:42 PM

Videoconferencing? But the fake hockey is still going on, even as the real hockey is stopped. It is comforting to me to imagine my fake player and teammates continuing with practice, traveling, and all that other business as usual while we're all not leaving our homes for days at a time. Still, Alex and his fake teammates are still separated by distance during the offseasons and such, so imagine there's some degree of video conferencing in their lives even if I choose not to imagine them having to deal with the pandemic. On one such occasions, some members of the team were playing a virtual game of Cards Against Humanity late one night (or at least late in some time zones). "What's Batman's guilty pleasure?" the card said. Alex thought he had a good card for this one, one quite capable of winning. He put down "extremely tight pants" because, well, those super hero uniforms are pretty tight. Strom was the judge and he read through the answers. "All you can eat shrimp for $4.99?" Nah, not inspired. "Altar boys?" Meh. There was Alex's answer! He thought he had it in the bag until he saw the next card: "BATMAN!!!" Damnit, someone had the Batman card for the Batman question. That was the end of it right there. Who's card was it? Emilia, OF COURSE! Well played.

GoonerBear · 04-15-2020, 10:03 PM

NSFL task

Emiko · 04-16-2020, 02:13 AM

Due to being stuck inside during the lockdown i had been trying to get some training tips for Tommy Tuck. He'd been helping me out over discord and we had be working on my skating as i really sucked at that. I was skating out on a frozen pond and had my laptop at the edge of the lake. As we started doing some skating drills i started to feel the ice crack below me and just moved to another part of ice that didn't have this issue. I was doing this for a while and forgot about it and skated back to that side fo the ice. The next thing that happens is Tommy Tuck is laughing a lot as i try and lift myself out of freezing water. After getting out and back to the laptop i found at that everyone from the team was in the stream just laughing at my error and stuggle to get out with all my goalie equipment on.

Code:
Words: 166

**OrbitingDeath** · 04-16-2020, 02:39 AM

So there we go, training from home also makes you train with colleagues remotely, so when you are ready for another session, you try to call your teammates. Unfortunately for Vorian Atreides, this went horribly wrong last week.
When he was getting ready to train, he phoned Mr. McZehrl.... While this normally isn't a bad thing to do, it is when he is actually on the toilet.

So instead of declining the call, he picked up his phone with his video turned on. In a 10000 years of history Vorian Atreides had never seen such a horrific sight as this one. There he was, sitting naked on the toilet, playing with his balls and just saying 'Vorian, how nice of you to join me!'

Vorian quickly hang up the phone and all interest in training for the day was gone. He just couldn't get the horrific sightings out of his brain. Never again should humanity trust on technology in times like these.

Chris-McZehrl · 04-16-2020, 03:32 AM

04-16-2020, 02:39 AMOrbitingDeath Wrote: So there we go, training from home also makes you train with colleagues remotely, so when you are ready for another session, you try to call your teammates. Unfortunately for Vorian Atreides, this went horribly wrong last week.
When he was getting ready to train, he phoned Mr. McZehrl.... While this normally isn't a bad thing to do, it is when he is actually on the toilet.

So instead of declining the call, he picked up his phone with his video turned on. In a 10000 years of history Vorian Atreides had never seen such a horrific sight as this one. There he was, sitting naked on the toilet, playing with his balls and just saying 'Vorian, how nice of you to join me!'

Vorian quickly hang up the phone and all interest in training for the day was gone. He just couldn't get the horrific sightings out of his brain. Never again should humanity trust on technology in times like these.

*jeffie43* · 04-16-2020, 05:41 AM

The Falcons are a team that are extremely proud of our win loss record and our 1st place in the standings. However there is also another thing that we look forward to on a weekly basis, the weekly SHN Power Rankings. We love seeing our names at the top and jerking off our massive egos to it. It is something we look forward to on a weekly basis and when the article first drops, we love to get on good old Skype and join one of those big group calls, and we all get to work. Pull up the power ranking chart scroll down to the number 1 position, pull down our pants and...do the thing. It is a strong team bonding activity and although we may have come from more in-person experiences in our childhood with games like soggy cracker, we here in Detroit like to practice social distancing and as a result, we use the most common method of voice calls, Skype!

Nour is pretty hot ngl

Mayuu · 04-16-2020, 06:04 AM

So here we were, video conferencing with mr boss man Finn Wannabe. He was talking about everyone needed to attend a this meeting because of some sort of internal announcement. Screen goes from black to connecting, and then I see the faces of my team mates, Monkey D Luffy in a straw hat and a robe puffing on a cigar. Poopity Scoop eating chocolate chip ice cream without a care, smearing it all over his face.
Cassius Darrow with the ever serious face, his star seeing through your eyes and into your soul with a terrifying and menacing feeling attached to it.
Just as Mr Finn is about to speak the video glitches, it goes static for a second and then pops back up. But there's no Finn to be seen, a Renegades logo starts spinning slowly on the screen before it cuts to a evil menacing grin.

"This video call is no longer connected to the Zoom servers, I welcome you to the land of the vanquished, the forgotten and disrespected. THIS IS GROUPMECHAT

RETIRED

TheHockeyist · 04-16-2020, 06:28 AM

Igor Volkov decided that in a video call with one of his old teammates Noah Tedla @tedlamotors that he'd demonstrate some of his latest findings on the chemistry side of things. Although he was fired from his chemistry job earlier, Igor was to go full-time into the SHL. He thought maybe this would be a good opportunity to share some of his research.

He reported his findings on a project to make a drink with a massive polysaccharide chain to increase the team's nutrition. The project was a massive failure and resulted in no less than seven broken beakers. Igor moved the camera to show his glass waste bin, rather full. Tedla was, understandably, shocked to hear this.

The conversation then drifted to Tedla's typical jokes about Igor never being able to tie his laces at all. Igor, being obviously irritated at this, tried to demonstrate to Tedla that he was able to do it on camera. However it had been long enough that Igor was starting to misremember some of the steps. Of course, Tedla was trying to explain what was going on, alas at the time, he didn't have convenient access to something to help Igor out. Soon enough, Tedla had to quickly leave to report to his online job.

Igor, frustrated, messaged his coach Collin Gibbles @SpartanGibbles apologizing for interrupting. Igor explained the situation that happened earlier, his frustrations, and asked Collin if he could set a time to meet with Igor to rediscuss this topic of skate tying. About 30 minutes later, Collin replied and urged Igor to meet with him first thing in the morning, as that day there would be a game. He didn't want Igor to be impeded by this, and so on his schedule, he set aside some time in the morning to explain what to do, and more time after the game if needed to clarify things.

Satisfied, Igor shut down his computer and went to sleep.

Nictox · 04-16-2020, 06:45 AM

As I was preparing to set up my laptop for a video conference with the team, I noticed someone was already in the chat, all by themselves. Upon observing the screen I noticed Captain DeMaricus Smyth gardening. He was set up in what looked like a makeshift green house with all these flowers around him. I watched as he slowly watered his daisies, tulips, and roses as if no one was watching him at all. He would prance around the flower pots without a care in the world. I thought to myself, this must be a joke. There is no way he actually does this everyday or meant for us to see this. As time passed others start joining the video call, myself included, where we started talking about what we were seeing. He couldn't hear us nor would he acknowledge the camera. It was in that moment we realized what was going on, Cain set up a camera in Smyth's greenhouse to record these weird rituals to his flowers. When Cain joined the video call, he burst out laughing. He picked up his phone and made a phone call while muting his laptop. In Smyth's video we see him answer his phone only to laugh himself. It seems Mr Smyth knew of the camera the whole time and really wanted to give the team a good show and keep spirits high. That is my Captain folks, ever so exciting, the entertainer.
[245]

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

*Zoone16* · 04-16-2020, 08:40 AM

In the weekly video conference call between the team, a number of fun little situation arose that made the team have a great chuckle. One of the best ones was when Beaujeaux Biscuit stood up during a call to take an important call in the background. Whilst he thought he had paused the camera and muted his microphone; everyone was able to see his that he was only dressed on the top half on top of hearing the conversation he was having with his mother. For the next 15 minutes, the man was pacing around in the room naked on camera, gesticulating and arguing about barbeque recipes with passion.

Needless to say, the call took a halt right as the team noticed this happening and the next 15 minutes were spent enjoying the show. When Beaujeaux came back, the team cheered. At first, he was confused as to why but after being told why, he joined in the laughter. After this episode, everyone on West Kendall makes sure that their camera and mic are turned off should they have to go away for a second.

(185 words)

***JKortesi81*** · 04-16-2020, 10:26 AM

In this weird time where the world is being shutdown to Coronavirus, except of course for the SHL as we’re apparently an essential business, players are only allowed to see each other for games. We only have a certain amount of time we’re allowed to be with each other before and after, so the guys have all talked about videoconferencing as a way to stay together. Joe K has spent many a night sending his team mates links to zooms or google hangouts and for whatever reason, barely anyone else jumps onto his chats. Every now and then Lil’ Manius will join for a beer, and you might see Nicholas Williams or Velveteen Dream drop by, but every time they do they only stay for a few minutes. It’s starting to become very apparent that nobody wants to hang out with the old guy anymore. When or how this happened, I don’t know, but it took a global pandemic for me to realize that maybe I’m not young and hip anymore. (171)

Julio Tokolosh · 04-16-2020, 12:43 PM

The Edmonton gang was doing a zoom happy hour (eastern standard time, of course), and most of the roster dipping in and out. With the SHL allowing the players to sim from home during the ongoing pandemic, the players were scattered across the globe (really just North America and Europe, but Emiko Specter checked in from Japan, too). At one point, there were 16 of us in the video chat, and newly appointed captain Brady McIntyre needed to run a quick errand. As the host, if he had signed off, the chat would have ended, but we urged him to keep the stream active. He agreed and said his goodbyes, announcing that he would be back in an hour or so.
As soon as Brady was out of the house, Tony Pepperoni announced his disgusting idea. He announced his plan to crop an image of "tubgirl" into 4 rows and 4 columns, then we would each full screen our corresponding fraction of the image, and the other 15 frames of the video collage would create a large "tubgirl" mosaic with Brady's video stream/face overlaying the masked girl's face when he came back.
Most of us didn't know what tubgirl was, so that was really disturbing to learn about, but even more disturbing was the fact that Finn-Rhys already had the 15 files ready, as if this was a borrowed idea, but he assured us that it was for "other" reasons.
We got our screens set up and full-screened, and waited to spring our trap. About an hour later, after a bit of light chatting and discussion about what a wild place the internet is, everyone kind of got bored. In an effort to maintain the charade, we encouraged players to just leave their computers running with their streams connected. After a few more hours, no one was near their computer, and Brady still wasn't home yet.
The next evening, Brady got home. He had just posted bail for not wearing a mask in public and was looking forward to resetting and relaxing in his house. Unfortunately, the image he was greeted by on his computer was not relaxing (different type of lax). Even more unfortunate, the image had burned itself into his computer screen, so a faint image of tubgirl was permanently visible.

*puolivalmiste* · 04-16-2020, 02:52 PM

jason97 · 04-16-2020, 03:10 PM

Code:
In 150+ words or with a graphic, describe a humorous/dramatic/interesting situation that arose from a video call with some of your teammates.

Since everyone is locked up and quarantined in their own homes, we're continuing the trend that many others in the league are doing and that is that the whole team gets on a zoom call together and someone from the league network asks us questions. It's pretty safe to say that it didn't go as planned. First of all, some of the older guys in the league couldn't join the league because they aren't that good with these sorts of things and the younger guys had to help them out. So once every finally got in, chaos ensued. We had Slip McScruff and his six children running around him yelling which was just hilarious to watch him try and get everyone to settle down. Nick Brain's dog decided it was a good idea to park himself in front of the camera and wouldn't budge one bit. Goku Muerto's had his laundry running in the background so we had to hear that for quite a while as well. All in all, it was a pretty fun experience and I'm glad we got to do it.

Code:
184 words

karlssens · 04-16-2020, 03:54 PM

With the COVID virus curve flattening still well underway, all the Blizzard boys were asked to stay home with their respective families until arenas and training facilities start to re-open. Much like the rest of the world, the fellas turned to technology to help keep in touch and even went as doing a team interview with TSN. Several different players including Karlstraße, Brady, Tony, Tommy and Tor all took part in the interview. One by one they went over their new daily routine and they're thoughts on social distancing and the like. While most of the guys provided the typical hockey player emotionless response, team grandpa's Tor Tuck and Hercules Rockefeller went off on long winded tirades about how back in their day the league wouldn't buckle to pressure like this and how COVID is just some opportunity for the government to take over our day to day operations. Needless to say several of the younger players were pretty quick to roll their eyes and hit them with boomer tag. A term which has picked up a lot of heat as of late in this league.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us