Originally posted by JKortesi81@Jan 1 2017, 04:46 PM
Whew, sorry guys, ive been gone for a little bit. i just got done unpacking all of my stuff in my new Montreal apartment, on top of the fact that i'm skating SO many minutes on my new team since the "cupboard" was bare before I came along. Did I miss anything?

Has Vas requested a fleshlight mold of your b hole? Don't tell me you give up the real thing?

09 || Jason Visser || C || Winnipeg || St. Louis || 3420 TPE
THE VISSHOUND
Age: 36
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 178
Number: 09
Birthplace: Gilbert, Arizona


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Season Stats
S30 || STL || GP: 50 || G:  8 || A:  6 || PTS: 14 || +/-  -2 || PIMS: 15
S31 || STL || GP: 50 || G: 15 || A: 13 || PTS: 28 || +/- +2  || PIMS: 35
S32 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 04  || A: 04  || PTS: 08 || +/- -4  || PIMS: 22
S33 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 11  || A: 13  || PTS: 24 || +/- +5  || PIMS: 17
S34 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 12  || A: 19  || PTS: 31 || +/- +7  || PIMS: 12
S35 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 17  || A: 34  || PTS: 51 || +/- -4  || PIMS: 12
S36 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 27 || A: 43  || PTS: 70 || +/- +24  || PIMS: 18
S37 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 24 || A: 36  || PTS: 60 || +/- +28  || PIMS: 25
S38 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 20 || A: 34  || PTS: 54 || +/- +30  || PIMS: 4
S39 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 23 || A: 22  || PTS: 45 || +/- +20  || PIMS: 4
S40 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 24 || A: 35  || PTS: 59 || +/- +25  || PIMS: 11
S41 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 34 || A: 44  || PTS: 78 || +/- +36  || PIMS: 38
S42 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A:  26 || PTS: 39 || +/- -2  || PIMS: 20
S43 || WIN || GP: 50 || G: 29 || A: 45  || PTS: 74 || +/- +32  || PIMS: 31[pbl]SMJHL TOT || STL || GP: 100 || G:  2[/font][/color]3 || A:  19 || PTS: 42 || +/-  0 || PIMS: 50 
[/size][/size][/size][/size][/font][/size][/color]SHL TOT || WIN || GP: 600 || G: 238 || A: 355 || PTS: 593 | +/-  +197 || PIMS: 214

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Playoff Stats
S30 || STL || GP: 7 || G: 0 || A: 3 || PTS: 3 || +/-  -2 || PIMS: 4
S31 || STL || GP: 4 || G: 0 || A: 0 || PTS: 0 || +/-  -1 || PIMS: 2
S34 || WIN || GP: 5 || G: 0 || A: 2 || PTS: 2 || +/-  0 || PIMS: 4
S36 || WIN || GP: 6 || G: 3 || A: 1 || PTS: 4 || +/-  -2 || PIMS: 6
S37 || WIN || GP: 18 || G: 6 || A: 17 || PTS: 23 || +/-  0 || PIMS: 13
S38 || WIN || GP: 13 || G: 8 || A: 3 || PTS: 11 || +/-  -2 || PIMS: 0
S39 || WIN || GP: 13 || G: 3 || A: 4 || PTS: 7 || +/-  -3 || PIMS: 0
S40 || WIN || GP: 14 || G: 5 || A: 7 || PTS: 12 || +/-  -4 || PIMS: 4
S41 || WIN || GP: 13 || G: 5 || A: 5 || PTS: 10 || +/-  -2 || PIMS: 2
S43 || WIN || GP: 17 || G: 4 || A: 12 || PTS: 16 || +/-  +3 || PIMS: 9
SMJHL TOT || STL || GP: 11 || G: 0 || A: 3 || PTS: 3 || +/-  -3 || PIMS: 6
SHL TOT || WIN || GP: 99 || G: 34 || A: 51 || PTS: 85 || +/-  -10 || PIMS: 38

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S30 SMJHL Draft - 21st Pick STL
S30 STL - 1 Season $3M
S31 SHL Draft - 8th Pick WIN
S31 WIN -  3 Seasons $9M
S34 WIN - 3 Seasons $9.5M
S37 WIN - 2 Seasons $10M
S38 WIN - Opted out
S38 WIN - 3 Seasons $9M
S41 WIN -  2 Seasons $6M
S43 WIN -  1 Season $5M
S44 WIN -  1 Season $5M
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other
S31 STL - Received (A) for 2nd half of S31
S31 USA - IIHF Gold
S31 STL - Michael Haan Award for Most Dedicated
S31 STL - Luke Riggs Award for Most Activity in the LR
S34 USA - IIHF Gold
S36 WIN - Lowest TPE player to hit 70pts - Realism Era.. idrk - 1420
S36 WIN - 2nd Team All-Star
S37 WIN - Won Challenge Cup
S37 WIN - Most Face-Offs Taken In league History
S37 WIN - 2nd Most Face-Offs Won In league History
S37 WIN - Sarmad Khan Trophy (MVP as voted by the fans)
S37 WIN - 2nd Team All-Star
S38 WIN - Received (A) in sim
S38 WIN - 3rd Team All-Star
S39 WIN - Became highest TPE player in the league - 1876
S40 USA - IIHF Gold
S40 WIN - Most TPE all time - 2285
S41 WIN - Sergei Karpotsov Award (Most Points)
S41 WIN - Jay McDonald Award (Most Goals)
S41 WIN - Ron Mexico Award (League MVP)
S41 WIN - Sarmad Khan Trophy (MVP as voted by the fans)
S41 WIN - 1st Team All-Star
S43 WIN - Sergei Karpotsov Award (Most Points)
S43 WIN - Jay McDonald Award (Most Goals)
S43 WIN - Ron Mexico Award (League MVP)
S43 WIN - Sarmad Khan Trophy (MVP as voted by the fans)
S43 WIN - 1st Team All-Star
S44 WIN - No longer highest TPE player in the league
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
] ||
Sojan Sviser
Age: 38
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 268
Number: 44
Birthplace: St. Louis, Missouri
[font=Arial]-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season History
S35 COL || W: 8 || L: 15 || OTL: 3 || WIN PCT: .365 || 6th Place
S36 COL || W: 27 || L: 20 || OTL: 3 || WIN PCT: .570 || 4th Place
S37 COL || W: 29 || L: 18 || OTL: 3 || WIN PCT: .610 || 3rd Place
S38 COL || W: 22 || L: 24 || OTL: 4 || WIN PCT: .480 || 7th Place
S39 COL || W: 31 || L: 16 || OTL: 3 || WIN PCT: .650 || 2nd Place


TOT || COL || W: 117 || L: 93 || OTL: 16 || WIN PCT: .553 ||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Post Season History
S35 COL || W: 8 || L: 5 || OTL: 4 || Result: Swept By VAN In Finals
S36 COL || W: 0 || L: 3 || OTL: 1  || Result: Swept By PGF In Round 1
S37 COL || W: 3 || L: 2 || OTL: 2 || Result: Lost To MTL In Round 1
S39 COL || W: 1 || L: 3 || OTL: 2 || Result: Lost To VAN In Round 2
TOT || COL || W: 12 || L: 13 || OTL: 9 || Result: Bad
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S35 COL Hired As Co-GM
S39 COL Relived As Co-GM
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S35 COL - Oriens Trophy Winner

Originally posted by ToeDragon84@Jan 1 2017, 07:57 PM

Has Vas requested a fleshlight mold of your b hole? Don't tell me you give up the real thing?

Nah, he's kinda lost his way. He's essentially the "Cricket" from Always Sunny of the SHL. He's just lost his mind now.

Also, he's holding the door to the LR shut.

Joe Kurczewski ll New Orleans Specters GM ll 1679 TPE

Drafted 12th overall by the Calgary Dragons in the S31 SHL Entry Draft
Drafted 22nd Overall to STL in the SMJHL S30 Entry Draft
Named Assistant Captain of the Scarecrows for S30
Named Captain of the Scarecrows for S31 and S32
Won the IIHF Gold Medal with Team USA in S31
Traded to Montreal at the S32 Trade Deadline
Named STL Scarecrows Co-GM
Won the S32 Challenge Cup with the Calgary Dragons
Won the IIHF Gold Medal with Team USA in S34
Won the S39 Four Star Cup as GM of the St. Louis Scarecrows
Won the S40 Challenge Cup with the Calgary Dragons
Won the S40 Ron Mexico Trophy (League MVP as voted by the awards committee)
Won the S40 Sarmad Khan Trophy (League MVP as voted by the players)
Won the IIHF Gold Medal with Team USA in S40.
Won the S42 Challenge Cup with the Calgary Dragons
Won the S42 Jeff Dar Trophy for Best Two-Way Forward
Won the S42 Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP
Won the S44 Four Star Cup as GM of the St. Louis Scarecrows
Traded in the S44/S45 offseason to the Edmonton Blizzard for an S46 1st Round Pick
Won the S45 Challenge Cup with the Edmonton Blizzard
Won the S45 Four Star Cup as GM of the St. Louis Scarerows
Was awarded one of the two expansion franchises for S46 (New Orleans Specters)
 SHL STATS

Regular Season
------------------------------------------------------------------
S33: 50 GP - 6 G - 9 A - 15 PTS
S34: 50 GP - 14 G - 14 A - 28 PTS
S35: 50 GP - 14 G - 12 A - 26 PTS
S36: 50 GP - 23 G - 29 A - 52 PTS
S37: 50 GP - 28 G - 29 A - 57 PTS
S38: 50 GP - 25 G - 21 A - 46 PTS
S39: 50 GP - 17 G - 30 A - 47 PTS
S40: 50 GP - 29 G - 37 A - 66 PTS
S41: 50 GP - 25 G - 38 A - 63 PTS
S42: 50 GP - 18 G - 35 A - 53 PTS
S43: 50 GP - 17 G - 35 A - 52 PTS
S44: 50 GP - 21 G - 24 A - 45 PTS
S45: 50 GP - 22 G - 37 A - 59 PTS
------------------------------------------------------------------
Career: 650 GP - 259 G - 350 A - 609 PTS

Playoffs:
------------------------------------------------------------------
S32: 2 GP - 0 G - 0 A - 0 PTS (Won Challenge Cup)
S33: 16 GP - 6 G - 3 A - 9 PTS (Lost in Cup Final to NEW 4-2)

S34: Did Not Qualify
S35: 13 GP - 7 G - 4 A - 11 PTS (Lost in 2nd Round to POR 4-3)
S36: 11 GP - 5 G - 7 A - 12 PTS (Lost in 2nd Round to TEX 4-0)
S37: 7 GP - 5 G - 8 A - 13 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to SEA 4-3)
S38: 17 GP - 10 G - 11 A - 21 PTS (Lost in Cup Final to MAN 4-2)
S39: 4 GP - 1 G  - 1 A - 2 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to LAP 4-0)
S40: 19 GP - 6 G - 18 A - 24 PTS (Won Challenge Cup)
S41: 6 GP - 3 G - 3 A - 6 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to WPG 4-2)
S42: 16 GP - 10 G - 15 A - 25 PTS (Won Challenge Cup)
S43: 6 GP - 5 G - 3 A - 8 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to WPG 4-2)
S44: 5 GP - 0 G - 2 A - 2 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to EDM 4-1)
S45: 18 GP - 9 G - 10 A - 19 PTS(Won Challenge Cup)
_________________________________________
Totals: 138 GP - 68 G - 84 A - 152 PTS

SMJHL STATS
Regular Season:

S30: 50 GP - 13 G - 13 A - 26 PTS 
S31: 50 GP - 17 G - 21 A - 38 PTS
S32: STL: 42 GP - 14 G - 7 A - 21 PTS
S32: MTL: 8 GP - 2 G - 2 A - 4 PTS 
S32: TOT: 50 GP - 16 G - 9 A - 25 PTS
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Playoffs: 
 
S30: 7GP - 3 G - 3 A - 6 PTS
S31: 4GP - 0 G - 0 A - 0 PTS
S32: 4GP - 3 G - 1 A - 4 PTS


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