Bojo Biscuit is the definition of best player to ever play ever in the world. Ever. So it's only natural that the sponsors want to flock to him and attach their leech-like hands all over this guy. But after sorting through all the monsters Bojo finally found his dream sponsorship offer: Bojangles. Little known fact, Bojo was named after a coffee his mother had while giving birth, and the doctor had to stuff Biscuits into her so that she wouldn't bite their hands off.
Bojo is now supplied with unlimited biscuits and coffee as well as a special elite straw that allows you to drink the seasoning they put on the fries straight from the source.
I know it's a huge shock for everybody to think that Bojo would pick a place like that. Very little know about his connections and ties with the place. At one point he did request to rebrand the team colors to yellow and red to make them sponsor the team, but the GM was more of a chik fil a kinda guy.
crutch Registered
i was wrong about sea of thieves 2018
Posts:6,938 Threads: 253 Joined: Oct 2015 Reputation:43
Discord: crutch#1738
Pronouns: Male
Player: Carter Crutchfield
The LA Panthers defenceman is known for blocking shots and stopping the other team from scoring, but he is also known for his fond love of Burger King. Crutch's pre-game meal consists of a whopper, chicken fries and an ice cold coka cola. With his game taking a huge leap offensively this season, sponsors have been trying to sign the young defender for many years to come. It was leaked that he had better offers from companies like CCM and Reebok, but he chose to go with Burger King.
It was a puzzling choice to most (us included), so we had to reach out to Crutchfield for a comment, and he had this to say:
"I fucking love the chicken fries" - Chris Crutchfield
Apparently the product was the deciding factor in the deal, as he is now one of Burger King's most anticipated product embassadors. Leaked to us was that Crutchfield gets to star in 2 Burger King commercials where he plays the King and bodychecks other fast food mascots through the glass.
Word coming out of Stockholm today that IKEA, known more for their furnishing and meatballs, has decided to sponsor up-and-coming center, Gunnar Rask. The young Swede, who is currently a member of the Seattle Riot, has gone on record saying that he loves IKEA and that his entire place is furnished from there. “There is something about that place that just warms my heart. Meatballs and chairs, how can you go wrong.â€
IKEA has been venturing off into other sports with their interest in some of the top football and baseball players, but this is their first real look into hockey. There has been some talk that they may look at some of the veterans of the SHL as well, but for now wanted to focus on young talent since they themselves are up-and-coming in sports representation.
The Chair of IKEA had this to say about the move: “We want someone who is a professional but will also have a chance to be elite, and that is we have in Gunnar. We look forward to keeping an eye on him and at the same time, we will continue to provide the service we always have and change lives every minute.â€
A week ago Raven Silverwing was spotted walking out of the super soft wooly sheep farm ranch, which isn't strange, because he goes there quite a bit.
Only this time he left with a piece of paper. Once confronted with it, he laughed and told us what's up.
Raven Silverwing will be the proud sponser of a new line of super soft wooly sheep blankets. Raven states: 'These blankets are amazing. After a long tiring game all you want to do is take a good rest. The blankets are perfectly soft and will keep you warm and cosy.
It's almost like being cuddled by a big group of little sheeps.'
We have done so much for the farm, including charity events, volunteer work and donations, so I really appreciate the offer to work so closely with the product.
We have made a special deal and will be selling the blankets with NEW logo's aswell as with Player names and jersey numbers. This will revolutionise the Blanket industrie!
(167words)
Thank you Fever, sköldpaddor and OD for the amazing sigs!
our player has gotten their first product sponsorship. Who sponsors them and why? You must meet or exceed the 150 word minimum to earn full points.
Jagr is known for his peculiar first name and for being a two-time champion with Calgary, but what others might not know is that he is proudly sponsored by a St.Louis pub. Jagr isn't known to be a big drinker, so this definitely strikes as strange, but it is true. The first time Jagr came over from the Czech Republic, he knew limited English and got lost on the way to his new team...the St.Louis Scarecrows. He stepped inside a well-lit building looking for directions, and as he was getting some help from locals, a sharp dressed man started rocking in his chair and had a look of great discomfort. Jagr raced over to the man and his fears were realized; the man was choking. Jagr had watched plenty of porn videos back in Prague, so he knew what to do. He pulled up behind the man and started thrusting back and forth, each thrust more vigorous than the last. The man finally spewed out a roll of quarters and Guinness...it appears he was too money hungry for his own good.
That man was the owner of the pub, and he thanked Jagr for saving his life. As a token of his appreciation and gratitude, he gave Jagr the company's pimped out Plymouth and agreed to help Jagr adapt to life in America. Jagr returned the favour by inviting the Owner to Scarecrow practices.
Despite being in Calgary, Jagr still owns and drives the pub's car.
Cuffy Registered
S7, S13, S20, S21 Challenge Cup Champion
Posts:6,938 Threads: 287 Joined: Dec 2011 Reputation:7
Pronouns: Undisclosed
Player: Turtle Bob
Steve French may not be the best player in the SHL by any means but he may just have the best Sponsor in the league. Steve French currently is signed to a lifetime deal with the Swear net Network for their new Whisky “ol dirty Canadian whisky†Which is amazing. The deal gives French and every member of the Portland Admirals a 40 of the ol dirty Canadian whisky each week giving them plenty of whisky to enjoy themselves on their days off. French is very proud to be sponsored by such a famous group such as Swear net and will forever be the SHLs sponsor of the Whisky.
French is also working his way into getting himself a jersey made by swearnet with the bottle of whisky as the jerseys logo. This could help the company sell millions of bottles seeing French’s fan base out of Portland as well as his former team Texas.
raymond3000 Registered
S11, S35 Challenge Cup Champion
Posts:3,725 Threads: 106 Joined: Nov 2011 Reputation:36
Pronouns: Undisclosed
Player: Andreas Kvalheim
Kristian Eriksson, long-time captain of the Toronto North Stars announced a new partnership with Jofa, a noted helmet manufacturer. Based in Sweden, Jofa was for a time wildly popular with NHL athletes, with the likes of Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux and Jaromir Jagr all donning these famed helmets. With Teemu Selanne's retirement in 2014, Jofa was phased out of the NHL. The end of an era for this prestigious brand.
Today, they are announcing a comeback. But not in the saturated NHL market where they rose to fame. Instead, they have chosen to invest in the rival Simulation Hockey League. In Kristian Eriksson, Jofa has found a wonderful man to lead their resurgence. On the international stage, he has been a mainstay for Team Sweden, helping them to consecutive gold medals. He is one of the SHL's top goalscorers, and a noted two-way player as well. The leader of the SHL's biggest club, Eriksson is the perfect player to bring Jofa back into professional hockey.
The food brand famous for pancake and waffle mixes, Bisquick, has been looking for a young hockey star to sponsor their mix for quite some time, and when one of their marketing experts saw Kelowna Knights forward Dieter "Deets" Dominique tweet about making waffles for his teammates, they contacted the young player to see if he'd be interested.
"When my manager called me, that was literally the last thing I thought she'd say. But it's true, I am known to be the Knights' in-house pancake, waffle, and french toast maker, so it's perfect, really," Dominique said.
Dominique has been playing on the Knights for four seasons now, having just been announced the team captain at a recent Knights press conference. Bisquick thought this would be the perfect opportunity to sponsor Dominique, going along with their time-honored tradition of wanting to make breakfast a gathering of the whole family, or team, in Dominique's case.
"Yeah, the guys and girls on the team used to tease me about making them on our off days, but it didn't take long before a good group of them started showing up on certain mornings. Pancakes or waffles might not be what we eat every morning before practice, but getting together, be it for breakfast or a charity event, is something we're trying to promote in Kelowna, and as a leader in the locker room, this sponsorship couldn't have come at a better time."
Bisquick has pledged to donate their breakfast pancake mixes to Dominique for at least the next season, and there is even talks about the company working with the Knights to sponsor community breakfast charity events.
There was even a photoshoot Dominique had to go to last week to promote the sponsorship. The tagline under the ad that will reach local newspapers next week reads, "Breakfast fit for a captain."
sigs by sulovilen, slothfacekilla, Flareon
avatar by prettyburn
Today Earnest Ciarelli received his first sponsorship in the SHL world.
He woke up like any other day, but this was different. He checked his phone, and for the first time in over 2 years he received a text message.
The text was from John Cahill, a name that Ciarelli knew vaguely. He wondered why someone like him was reaching out.
He opened the text, and saw a simple message,
“Are you interested in a sponsorship?â€
He was very excited, and replied quickly,
“Of course, I’d love for a sponsorship!†Finally putting together that Cahill was working with Kraft Foods, which made the famous Kraft Dinner. He would become the face of a household brand.
“Perfect, we’ll have a press conference tomorrow, which will be done at The American Airlines Center, home of the Texas Renegades.
The next day he arrived in a dapper as fuck suit, and got ready for the announcement. Eventually the media piled in and Cahill stood up with him and began to talk.
“Earnest Ciarelli is the perfect sponsor for one of our favorite items. His abilities on the ice complement the item in an uncanny way, so we’re proud to announce the new face of Kraft Swiss Cheese… EARNEST CIARELLI.â€
He cried himself to sleep the end.
san francisco group of cats - mikael koskinen quebec city citadelz - mikael koskinen
.bojo![[Image: JbAlQ9E.png]](https://i.imgur.com/JbAlQ9E.png)
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Montreal Impact/Militia 
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Seattle Riot (with Chris McZehrl)*
New England Wolfpack (with Chris McZehrl)*
Calgary Dragons (with VLAD McZehrl)
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Winnipeg Jets (with VLAD McZehrl)
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Vancouver Whalers (with VLAD McZehrl)
St. Louis Scarecrows (with GOD McZehrl)
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