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S72 PT #3: A Hitchhikers Guide to General Management
#91

Player Prompt - Written Task

(Draft/Placeholder)
The crux of the prank boils down to somehow falsifying league documentation from the expansion draft for the Montreal Patriotes, and trying to convince the GM that there's been a horrible mistake, and the team was actually supposed to be based in Montreal, Arkansas. If we could manage to get someone from the League office in a position of access, who could get us some very official looking letterhead, and someone else who could either act as a notary and fudge some official looking signatures or else someone who is very good with phot editing, we could accomplish the same thing.

This ruse would require a large amount of time invested, but the payoff would be worth it. The more detail we could put in, the better. This could take weeks of prep. Having someone in the SHL Head Office ready to answer the phone when our GM frantically calls asking about the documents, making sure the documents look good enough. Also, having a plant in Montreal, Arkansas, to act as the impetus for the whole thing would really lend credence. Have someone from the City Council reach out to the team about their relocation, and tell them they almost have the community center ready for the team to practice, and that they'll be building a proper facility in Fort Smith

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#92

Defeating aliens at ice hockey? Easy peasy. But now we're being challenged by a group of mice that are wicked smart and absurdly quick. But like, who's gonna play goalie, y'know? This should be pretty dang easy. No matter where you are on the ice, just send a slap shot into the goal. Sure, you'll be called for icing a few times, but it's a wide open net. Or even, do that cool thing where you pick the puck up on your stick and then just breezily skate through and gently lower the puck into their net. I'm like 85% sure that's legal. It's just not effective when you play against humans. Not to mention, there is a nonzero chance that one of these mice just accidentally skate underneath your ice skate. Now look, that would be a real tragedy, but it wasn't anyone's fault. And now the mice are a man down. I might be underestimating their quickness and strength, though. We might lose every faceoff. But surely we can intercept a pass or two. Or if we layout for a block/bodycheck we might deflect the puck to ourselves. Honestly, I'm not sure what mice paws will do on the ice. Will they fail to gain traction and send them sliding off in the direction they push into? or will they be able to walk around the ice as if it was concrete? I suppose now I need to do a little science experiment at the rink tomorrow.

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#93

CREATIVE PROMPT / STORY MODE

Agent Tesla: Okay well I have some good news, some bad news, and some really bad news for you MOUI so what order would you like me to deliver it.

MOUI Leader: Bad news first, good news second, and really bad news last please.

Agent Tesla: I can do that. The bad news is that despite your incredible intellects you remain the definition of prey species to my crew and I.

MOUI Leader: That is pretty bad news, and so what is the good news that hopefully cancels it out?

Agent Tesla: The good news is that none of my crew or I are currently related to cats, and I was unable to sub in the Cathar that I wanted to from my trips to the Star Wars galaxies.

MOUI Leader: Excellent! Now for the worst news you have for me.

Agent Tesla: The very bad news for you is that while I was unable to sub in the Cathar I was able to splice their genetics using that technology from Batman Beyond to not only give every member of the team the attacking instinct of a feline against species like your own, but also to give them a midichlorian count comparable to a Skywalker.

MOUI Leader: I don't see how that will necessarily help you win a game of hockey?

Agent Tesla: Well the plan is a simple one in that we can let every one of our players get sent to the penalty box because in the process we will be sending every one of yours to the morgue.

MOUI Leader: We just wanted to play the fun game our creations developed and you are threatening to slaughter us all?

Agent Tesla: I was told you were threatening this simulated earth with a planetary laser. Was I misinformed?

MOUI Leader: If I say yes and have my people quietly deactivate the planetary laser can we have a fair game?

Agent Tesla: Well as fair as it will be with my team having been given force sensitive feline powers.

MOUI Leader: Deal!

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Word Count: 343
#94

Written Task: After your stunning victory against your Proud Warrior Race opponents, you find yourself and your team of plucky aliens challenged by mice of unusual IQ. After a long-winded explanation of how they built the Earth as a supercomputer to yield the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, they want to experience this game that has emerged on their experimental planet. This time, your team has the size and strength advantage, but your opponents are very quick and have absurd hockey IQ. What's your gameplan to win this time?

Our team wasn't exactly built for high hitting and exploiting our use of force so this is going to be an up hill battle. I am going to have to show my team the other side of coin and teach them about goon hockey. You can't simply out think a race of intellectually superior mice. We will first review the movie Goon to get an understanding of how we should play against them, we will then study the work of Brad Marchand and Sean Avery so we can get in the heads of our opponents and rattle their stupid little mouse cages. This game won't be won on the merit of who the better team is, it is going to be won on the who dirtier player is. We might end up the box much more than we are used to but in the long run I think we can grind them down to pulps. Also worth mentioning the success of the likes of Pinky and the Brain. They might just end up being their own worst enemies.

Tibuk Soonika - G - Tampa Bay Barracuda| Portal Page
BarracudaSwitzerlandKnights
#95

PLAYER PROMPT - And now for the GM

Written Task: You and your mascot have chosen alliance in mayhem. With the blessing of all your org's decision makers except the one involved, you are about to prank your GM. What's your plan and how will you execute it to drive maximum social media engagement?

Anyone familiar with the Kraken team dynamic knows there is constantly a raging debate over the quality and morality of steaming Hot Dogs rather than a number of other methods that in the common opinion are far superior. Particularly co-GM Frenchie is a stalwart defender of the Steamed Dog approach. In a conspiracy against our French co-GM supporters of the Grilled Dog get together with the Kraken events team to put together a One Dollar Steamed Dog night for one of the Krakens home games. To commence the game GMs of both teams meet at center ice to cheers a couple of Dogs together. But what Frenchie doesn't know is when he gets out there at center ice it's not Steamed Hot Dogs that are waiting for him, rather they are Grilled! The look on his face is sure to be priceless as the Grilled Hot Doggers have gotten another win over him! All in good fun though after he's realized he was bamboozled we are quick to offer him a Steamed Hot Dog for being a good sport about the whole deal.

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#96

OK, so I have to beat a team of very smart mice at hockey, using a team of Standard Issue Gray Aliens, is that the idea? Given that these are super-intelligent mice, I'm assuming they'll be operating some sort of highly advanced hockey-mechs. Assuming I can't just get the mice disqualified for using illegal technological aids, our best bet is to disrupt their technology advantage. The mouse-mechs, being mechs, will I assume also have the standard mech weaknesses, as for example being both top-heavy and slow to rise once downed. So the idea is to play a physical game, get these mechs knocked down on the ice as often as possible, and crash the net with as many shots as possible while they struggle to return to an upright position. A clean game probably is not an option. There will be slewfoots. We'll just have to get away with as many as we can before the refs catch on.

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#97

Creative Prompt

It is going to be another fight as after we used our speed and agility and hockey knowledge to defeat the last team, this new team appears to have even more of that than we do! I mean the game plan will be to set up a neutral zone trap (gotta love those!) and try to force them into a mistake so more defensive minded hockey. We can also try to rattle them with bigger hits and punish/capitalize on any mistakes they may have. It will certainly have to be a team effort though as we can't let those speedy forwards zip by our trap and bury one on the goalie, so stick to your positions and put your body on the line! It will be an uphill battle against a more knowledgeable team, but our team will certainly not go down without a solid effort and fight from the team. Now let's get out there and win again!

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#98

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#99

ISFL Affiliate

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Da, police officer, let me spill it all out. I'm just average Russian hockey player, and Russians always looking for a little excitement off the ice, you know. Our boss is Trips, good man, but he like too serious. So, I thought, let’s make joke. We love jokes in America. Like America's Funniest Home Videos.

So, officer, I spread rumors around town that Trips owed a small favor to the Russian mafia. Just for kicks, right? Turns out, Baltimore had a bigger mob connection than I thought. The next thing I know, some guys in suits are showing up at our games, giving Trips the stink eye like he owe them money. I thought they were part of the gag, so I laughed.

It was very funny until they threatened to turn him into concrete boots if he didn't pay up. Raiden thought we should have gone with inflatable animals in his office, it might have been a better idea. I talked with mafia thug, I found out he knows my cousin, so all good. Now, lesson learned. Never mess with pranks involving the mafia. Or Trips. Now, I think I’ll play on the fourth line all season. Trips has no sense of humor.

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Ekaterina Valieva - Baltimore Platoon
Co-GM - Maine Timber

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Thanks @xjoverax for the sig!

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(This post was last modified: 08-18-2023, 04:50 PM by st4rface.)

PLAYER PROMPT - WRITTEN TASK

It's always fun to do something to increase social media followers for you and your team. It's very important to build a great image on social media. If you can be funny while doing that - it's even better. So me and our macot ''Krackie'' decided to prank our generalmanager. We went to the local ''Target'' and bought some glue. After that we went to his office, took all of his stuff and glued it to some surfaces. Pens, papers, computer and other stuff got glued to the table. His chair, shoes and even bed got glued to the floor. We tried to glue everything what is possbile. However, we didn't had much time. He was back much earlier as we thought, but we did it nicely and he didn't saw it. Our marketing manager helped to film everything. Generalmanager was very mad, but it was funny and helped with engagement on social media. Our marketing manager even had a bonus for his pay check. He got extra thousand just because of this project. However, GM took care and took half off mascots salary and put me in the 4th line for couple of games. It was worth it though. Funny, but wouldn't recommend to do it.

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