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Samsung virtual assistant · 09-23-2018, 10:39 PM

Hi i'm Dick Skillstedt, new forward of the Hamilton Steelhawks. Here in Hamilton i know that we all love our hockey, but sometimes even we have a hard time keeping the motivation up. That's when i go into the World of Warcraft

*Undead warlock appears on the screen burning a pack of wolves to crisp*

Oh would you look at that, that's a wolfpack we can really blast.

*Camera back to warlock, this time burning a buffalo, seeing it run away*

Some monsters are tougher than others..

*Camera back to the warlock, while he lets out a cackle.*

*Camera to a closeup of Dick dressed as said warlock*

I'm Dick Skillstedt, and i'm an Undead Warlock. Meet me in the World of Warcraft!

*Classical deep commercial voice comes in with the World of Warcraft theme playing in the background*

Play World of Warcraft Battle for Azeroth today, Subscribe now for a chance for a meet and greet with Hamilton Steelhawks player Dick Skillstedt.

*Womans seductive voice comes in*

Use the code "Hamilton TittayBar" in the checkout to take part in this offer. That's Hamilton t-i-t-t-a-y-b-a-r to take part in this offer.

Radsin · 09-23-2018, 10:55 PM

NSFL PT

karlssens · 09-23-2018, 10:55 PM

to12143 · 09-24-2018, 12:08 AM

NSFL PT

***Hallsy*** · 09-24-2018, 12:33 AM

Hey its Ben Dover of the Hamilton Steelhawks and I know that we all love the game of hockey here in Hamilton. Hockey is canada's game and honestly without Bauer Hockey's Equipment we would n't be able to play the game of hockey it give us the tools to play the game of hockey and They have the best equipment to over to should pads, skates, sticks and helmets. Honestly They have the only helmet that fit my giant ass head. They are also a great company as they love to help in community events here in Hamilton and without them I don't teh Steelhawks would be one of the best teams on the simulation hockey league and I'm proud to support both organizations. Please get your bauer equipment now before everyone else in the town of Hamilton buys the stores out of this equipment. Thanks and have a good day.

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Blastmeaway · 09-24-2018, 01:53 AM

PBE Affiliation

Shout out to ml002, schultzy, slashacm, tedward!
[Image: blastmeaway.gif]

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09-05-2018, 10:04 PMBeaver Wrote: Wow look what the PT affiliation has done to our pristine league.

12-19-2018, 12:31 AMBeaver Wrote: I personally blame the PT affiliation for handing out massive amounts of free TPE to all these players, inflating the TPE they're at when they get called up.

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Ashes · 09-24-2018, 07:25 AM

Hi there, Vancouver Whalers & Team Latvia star winger Ēriks Skalbergs here with Flex Tape! The super strong, water proof tape, that can instantly patch, bond seal and repair! Flex Tape's super sticky adhesive material grips on tight and doesn't let go - even underwater! Flex Tape can be used for anything - got a leaky pipe? Patch it with some Flex Tape! Did your glasses break? Flex Tape them back together! No longer want water? Slap some of this magical tape onto your faucet and your wish is granted! Broken marriage? Slap some on your wife! Doing a heart surgery and you need to patch a leak? Flex Tape! Personally, I use Flex Tape to wrap my stick and it works like a charm! In fact, I have an entire room in my house dedicated to Flex Tape! That's just how good Flex Tape is! Call 555-FLEXTAPE or shop online at flextape.ru to ORDER NOW! Also, if you order 2 rolls of Flex Tape, you can get a third one FOR FREE! You heard that right, FREE FLEX TAPE! ORDER NOW!
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Avakael · 09-24-2018, 08:13 AM

Hey. It's Alexis Metzler here. Are you having trouble with spreadsheets? Maybe that's an odd question for me to ask you. You know, I'm a big nasty hockey player and what-not. But are you? Because I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm really, really good at them.

I know all the tricks of the trade. INDEX MATCH? I'll show you. Power Query? I'll teach you. Conditional Formatting? No problem! Pivot Tables? They pivot the way I pivot on the ice. Faster than all the competition. That's why I'm able to recommend the Metzler Spreadsheets Program to you. Metzler Spreadsheets Program is the new way to learn how to make awesome spreadsheets. I'll let you in on all the tricks of the trade, so you can make spreadsheets that do all the things that you need to learn how to do. Whether you're looking to run a business, looking to organize loads of data, or just want to figure out your personal finances, I'm here to help.

Metzler Spreadsheets Program. It's the real deal.

***Acsolap*** · 09-24-2018, 01:20 PM

Hi! I'm Rex Kirkby, defenseman for the Anchorage Armada. Have you ever wanted to have the body of a hockey player without all that inconvenient work? Being professional athletes all of our supplements are closely monitored so we need to spend hours and hours in the gym to stay in game shape and beach body ready. This doesn't apply to you though!

Introducing @JayWhy's powdered human growth hormone. It comes in a range of flavours including mint chocolate, butterscotch and wild strawberry. The scientifically proven formula has shown to increase gains by over five hundred percent in as little as two weeks. While I can't personally take these completely legal performance enhancers you can! So what are you waiting for? Dial 1-800-JAYWHYSPEDS to make the first of your ninety six easy payments of 17.99 and get your hands on the best and most delicious muscle builders in the business.

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Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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Player page | Player updates

pennywise · 09-24-2018, 02:04 PM

Nictox · 09-24-2018, 03:59 PM

Hi all, this is Nicholas Williams, Captain of the St. Louis Scarecrows, and I want to take some time to talk to you today about something, I truly feel strongly towards. "What is it?" you ask..

Why it's the one...

the only..

Nick Williams'
Absolutely Awesome,
Beautifully Brilliant,
Colorfully Chosen,
Definitely Dangerous,
Ever-growing Eventful,
Fantastically Famous,
Greatly Good,
Honestly Helpful,
Infinitely Infectious,
Juicy Jamboree,
Knowingly Knighted,
Laughingly Limboing,
Monster Mashingly,
Nothing Like It Now,
Originally Orange,
Perfectly Pinchable,
Quietly Quizzing,
Righteously Radical,
Super Soaking,
Tylenol Taking,
Ultimately Unanimous,
Very Victorious,
Wacky Waving,
Yesterday's Yesterday,
Xanthicly Xanax,
Zig Zagging,

House of Inflatable Tube Men!

For today only, you own of one my personally used Inflatable Tube Man for the low cost of 10 payments of $199.95 SHL dollars. These tube men come in a variety of colors (and colours to our Canadian friends) and are hours of fun. You simply plug in 2 power cables (one for the motor to run the air pumps and the other for the lights) and Viola, you have yourself a Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man. Put outside your house for parties, in front of you business, or your Grandma's funeral. These tube men will cheer up any large gathering of people, we don't guarantee it!

BUT WAIT, There's MORE!

Order within the next 10 seconds and you will receive not 1, not 2, but 3! ALL NEW! Miniature Inflatable Tube Men. Perfect for you desk at work, or the bathroom at home, or anywhere you could use a little cheering up.

*Please Note That This Product is not yet rated and may lead to having a very bad case of empty wallet syndrome. For a cure to that, please contact Nictox as soon as possible and pay a quarterly bill of $249.95 SHL dollars to cure.*

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RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

DannyMethane · 09-24-2018, 04:22 PM

Adam Taylor here for Chad Chaplin's Crinkle Cut Crispy Carrot Chips. Nothing is better than some dried out crispy carrot crisps on a hot St. Louis day. Dip it in ranch, barbecue sauce, vinegar, maple syrup, burbon, goat blood, fondue, fondon't, popcorn butter, queso, ground beef, dirt, or even lead based paint. Nothing satisfies me and my teammates after a hard-fought game than a couple packs of Chad Chaplin's Crinkle Cut Crispy Carrot Chips and a gallon of Nasty Nancy's Nitro Nacho cheese. The pressurized cheese comes out at a reasonable* rate, and it's the best flavor combo. So, come on down to your local Walmart, Target, Meijer, Home Depot, Lowes, Rack Room Shoes, Radio Shack, or Blockbuster video and buy some today.
Also available from Chad Chaplin is Chad Chaplin’s Cooked Corn and Crawfish Cobbler. Like the box says, “It’s all going to the same place, we’re just saving you a few steps!”

*Reasonable defined as less than 1 Gallon per second.

Dude · 09-24-2018, 05:10 PM

Dude: Hi I'm Dude and when I'm not sniping guys in the shins I like to go to Definitely Donuts.
Mos Def: That's right! Me and Dude have been friends for nearly 12 hours now and I know he loves his Definitely Donuts!
Dude: That's right, Mos Def. I love your donuts. They're Definitely Donuts.
Mos Def: That's right! They're Definitely Donuts!
Dude: And when I'm not sniping guys in the shins I like to go there.
Mos Def: And maybe too much even, you're in here too much, Dude.
Dude: That's right, and when I'm not at Definitely Donuts, I'm sniping guys in the shins.
Mos Def: That's right, he snipes em right in their shins. Ouch! Maybe you do that too much, Dude. Maybe you should score more goals and eat fewer Definitely Donuts.
Dude: I most Definitely Donuts do...

Clint Eastwood, Jun 10 2018, 09:36 AM Wrote:Can't buy love, but love can buy a lot.

NJBadApple · 09-24-2018, 07:29 PM

Douchey TV actor: Hey look, it's Renegades forward Noah Konn:

Me: Hey there, what's up?

Douchey TV actor: Noah I had no idea you liked BBQ so much!

*sarcastic nervous laugh* Haha, well hi everyone I'm Noah Konn of the Texas Renegades. The regular season can be quite the drag as the 50 games drag on, but nothing gets me powered up more than Gorlab's Slabs. Gorlab's has the absolute best BBQ in Texas and I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in disagreement. What makes Gorlab's better than any other schmuck out here trying to BBQ? Well this business has been around forever, and they've completely mastered the art of roasting & BBQ. I'm especially a fan of the dry-rub aged babybacks, but don't take my word for it. Come find out for yourself, with amazing food and cheap prices even you SMJHL'ers can afford. Come on down to Gorlab's Slabs and eat like an SHL'er.

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dankoa · 09-24-2018, 07:37 PM

Howdy folks, I'm Daniel Karlsson. Having watched the incredible stroke of genius shown by Hardee's in recruiting "hick hop" pioneer Big Wet to feature in their "Tastes like America" advertisement, the folks over at Renegades Barbeque in downtown Dallas, Texas wanted me to give you a little idea of what it's like to taste like Texas. Down here in Texas we like our days long and hot and our beer light and cold, we're a simple folk. Renegades Barbeque is the only SHL team owned restaurant in North America, and we do things the way they should be. Come join us sometime, pull up a chair, grab a beer and get to talking. Heck, you might even see me or one of the other boys in there from time to time; we all love to make it in and enjoy a Renegade Rib when we can and it getting to meet you lovely folk is some bonus. So why don't you come on down sometime, and enjoy a taste of real Texas with me and the boys?

Code:
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