Login

teztify · 12-18-2020, 02:43 AM

In the Newfoundland Berserkers locker room, a battle to the death takes place on a recurring basis - the spectacle known as HOLMGANG. Informed by each locker room member's feats to date in that contest, I can make some pretty good educated guesses as to know this battle royale would play out. Inevitably, in the very first round, before the festivities have truly begun, yours truly - Lassi Suhonen - would find a way to drown. Would my head be forcibly held under water? Would I slip and fall into a puddle? These are both equally likely - all that matters is that somehow, someway, Suhonen drowns early. On the off chance I survive, I'd probably let myself down by betraying my good pal, the beegest Yoshi, Vaseline Podcalzone. I'd feel bad, but nobody would ever really forgive me. Meanwhile, Jonas Kahnwald would probably win the whole thing without even hurting anyone, the overachieving nice guy that he is.

W19eaver · 12-18-2020, 03:40 AM

The crowd here in Nevada is buzzing for the first ever Battleborn Royal Rumble to take place. All 21 Battleborn players are starting out in the ring at the same time, it will be absolute chaos. The bell rings to signify the start of the rumble and all the players seem to lock up grappling each other. Players are flying around clothes lining each other, throwing out suplexes and full nelsons. There was even a few high flying elbows from the turnbuckles. When it was all said and done it was once reported greatest Battleborn of all time Zelma Zuntnere who stood alone in the ring victorious over all of her teammates. Some highlights from the match include: the two smallest players, Noah Johns III and Sven Gunnar teaming up to take out 240 lb team captain Tanjiro Kamado, Chad Danger pulling off a perfect 619 on Bane as he was dazed on the ropes and CK Supernaw's 6'7" frame flying off the turnbuckle like superman himself.

Justice · 12-18-2020, 08:49 AM

The pair of Renji Atake and Liam Slate would see a lot of winning battles in a potential battle royale scenario. The mix up of Renji's pure, drunken rage paired with the calculated, determined finesse that Liam Slate brings to the table would make for a duo to look out for. Think Groot and Rocket Raccoon. Perhaps they would find themselves in a situation where they're both on their skates, Liam Slate dishin out wristers to knock out assailants from an artillery style position while Renji Atake is gloves off getting in deep with the mayhem, throwing haymakers and rippin' jerseys over guys' heads. These two would be menacing to face off against in a potential showdown and their synergy and team work is among the best. I do not have any doubt that Renji Atake and Liam Slate would be taking home any less than victory in this scenario.

**Rich** · 12-18-2020, 11:42 AM

Fileworker PT Pass

CementHands · 12-18-2020, 12:43 PM

The winner of either battle royale on Baltimore is pretty clear cut in my honest opinion. No one can hold a candle to the raw brute strength or power of Valentin Kalashnikov. The Russian Bear as some folks call him, he is deadly with bare fists, knives, guns, but especially with a controller. His aptitude at stealth games and deception have often made people wonder about his true nature - is he simply a fearsome hockey player, or is there something more sinister going on, perhaps a covert operative silently gathering information?

In our octagon, a few folks bowed out very early - players like GOD McZherl, Patrick Shepherd, and Brock Nuck went down pretty quickly to a hail of punches. Players like Ethan Duncan and Karl Krashwagen, Lord Raiden and Danil Nikifortov stayed together in pairs, but were eventually overwhelmed. Valentin Kalashnikov, Adam Friedland and Luc-Pierre Lespineau-Lebrunette rose to the top of the pile and in a pretty epic show off Friedland took out LP LL with a leg sweep, but on turning to face kalashnikov he was smacked right in the face with a folding chair. Knocked Out, cold. All is fair game in the Platoon octagon.

Fantobens · 12-18-2020, 12:51 PM

Texas renegades battle royal....

Figure, my player is young so they are weaker, so let’s just say all the younger guys are out. Hudson, Williams, MAS, Sulfergold, and Fanto get ousted first...

Kvalheim, Brusky, Horvat, and kubinec would make some kind of old man pact. By this point, Goodman would be running around the ring with Kavanaugh on his shoulders. Someone will have to deal with that.

Potts and kekkonen are on the ring apron having a rap battle. While Scianna and leppanen are being nerds taking notes.

Wachter seizes the opportunity and jumps at Potts and kekkonen eliminating all three. The old man squad takes out the two goalies in a trench coat with old man grit and smarts. They then turn their attention to leppanen and Scianna. After a short scrum they have all eliminated each other. Leaving the ring empty.

Except for Maximus. Who never even knew there was a fight.

BrewskyBoy · 12-18-2020, 01:09 PM

So this is it, the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny down in Texas. Only one will survive, who will it be? Let me start out by naming a couple of early favorites to win this showdown. Contestant 1 is Bjorn Leppanen . Bjorn is arguably the strongest player on the Texas roster, and as such I think he has a great chance of winning this event. Kvalheim is another favorite to survive this brutal beatdown, as he's another very strong player on the roster. He also brings an additional element of speed and agility to the table that is quite surprising for someone of his size and stature. He also boasts the highest stamina on the team and should be able to go deep into a battle royal. Lastly, I think Kekkonnen would be a force to be reckoned with. While he doesn't have quite the same straight up strength and speed/agility as the other fighters, he's simply built like a tank. The man is 6'4 with a 250+ weight. He'll be tough to take down. But now we get to the final contender(s), the tag-team duo of Goodman and Kavanagh. Goalies are just a different breed I tell ya, and with their crazy reflexes and psychotic mentality, there's no way anybody is going to be able to defeat these two in battle royal. Your ultimate showdown battle royal tag-team winners: Goodman and Kavanagh.

st4rface · 12-18-2020, 01:56 PM

I think this is pretty interesting, but at the same easy task, because it's based on attributes like strength, stamina and toughness. And - TPE in general would say a lot. I play for Buffalo Stampede and I would say that Monkey D. Luffy and Augustus Wang would do the best. Monkey D. Luffy is a perfect leader and Augustus Wang is a defender who is really tough.

Elizabeth Doyle is a woman, but incredible goalie with amazing work ethic. Won't lie - she would be a tough opponent for anyone aswell. I think that everyone of Stampede roster would be a tough opponent, because... look at our roster and standings. It says it all! We are a tough and great team in any aspect.

I can't really tell about what would happen in real life Battle Royale, because I don't know a lot of users in real life. I don't know their toughness, ability to be hard and unbeatable. But it would be crazy...

163 words

Titan · 12-18-2020, 01:57 PM

If a battle royale were to break out in Kelowna, I'm betting I know exactly how it would play out. @trashae would recruit as many as he possibly could to team up in an alliance. The Quadruplets would team up at first, but then McFelter and Malik would end up killing each other, leaving Huff and Feltersnatch to fend for themselves. The goalies, Vertigo and Ramsey, would spend the whole time playing "keepy uppy" because they don't take two seconds way from training and they would believe its a team building event anyways. Goodname would find a way to use his slap shot to murder people, as LaFleur would find a way to use his wrist shot. They both die for thinking this would work in the first place. In the end, Teddy Park would find a way to smooth talk his way to victory like that one punk on Big Brother that had no physical abilities what so ever. Except Teddy can crush our skulls with his thighs. And he will. Oh my he will.

JuOSu · 12-18-2020, 02:27 PM

PBE PT

Jala · 12-18-2020, 02:28 PM

If there was a Battle Royale in the Battleborn locker room now would be the time if any. A rough season with a large chunk of their veterans capped out has emotions running high and a small spark could start a wildfire. You would think the obvious winner in our locker room would be Bane but he's been missing from anything other then games so I doubt he would even be around for the brawl. The obvious outs would be the likes of Sachimo Zoidberg Jr., Tanjiro Kamado, Noah Johns III and our DFA signing, Vladlen Sidorov. Sidorov is tiny and would be bodied in no time flat. The big contenders would be Vili, Rob Wright and Rock Strongo. Some big boys but if I was wagering money it would come down to C.K. Supernaw and Raivo Helminen. Both big boys, Supernaw is a monster physically and has more then a few screws loose so who knows what kind of moves he would pull out in a brawl. Raivo has been among the leaders of fights last season so you know he can throw down so I think they would be the last two standing, with Supernaw topping it.

Word Count: 199

JstMaro · 12-18-2020, 04:44 PM

If battle royale would break inside Quebec City locker room between all Citadels players it wouldn't be really interesting. I believe minimum damage would be done if all players would stand in line so no one will get beaten twice by Mr. Iron Fist aka. Boris Petrov. With Petrov's fighting skills, experience and fame I believe nobody stands a chance in open fight against him. He is well know that he can hold one guy with his left hand while hitting second guy with his right hand. He had shown that in many fights in his two and a half seasons in his SMJHL career - majority of them he had won. The ones he lost can be blamed to one really nice lady in audience - Boris have really soft spot for her and once he see her his knees start to go soft and he couldn't hit a wasp that time.
That is why everyone inside Citadels locker room are really happy that Boris is on their side.

Evok · 12-18-2020, 05:48 PM

This would definitively be an unfair fight among the Quebec City Citadelles. There’s currently 3 man from Quebec City in the top 5 of penalties minutes in the team. Those men are the Russian machine Boris Petrov, cutie pie Kev Kevens and dad-energy Jst Maro. We can almost add Jari Heikkinen in the lot, as he’s currently sitting right outside the top 10. To say the least, I think the whole team would be obliterated by our bash brothers here. The trio has enough penalties or fight under their belt this season that they would crush everyone. Like I’ve seen Kevens hit someone right on the head in a game. However, it’s important to note that Kevens and Maro would absolutely stand no chances against Boris Petrov either. It’s clear for me that if the team has to fight between themselves, Boris is the man that would be victorious. He’s currently having 8 fight won during the season and it’s only halfway.

Allegiant · 12-18-2020, 06:02 PM

Citadelles Fight

There is really only one correct answer here if you're trying to figure out who would win any physical contest with the Quebec Ctiadelles. That is, Boris Petrov. Petrov is the fighter amongst the Citadelles, having already posted ten fights on the season. What's more, he's won eight of ten fights. Compare that to the next closest challenger, Yuuto Kira Cloudera Jr, who has posted two fights and won one. The rest of the Citadelles who have had fights, Salming, Sombreros, Heikkinen, Riely, MAximov, and Maro have all only had one -- and half of them lost their single fight.

Chances are, everyone would want to gang up on Petrov to eliminate him first. But he isn't just some simple brawler. This is a defenceman who knows how to put up points, so he has to at least be somewhat clever. Clever enough to get out of the way and run for the hills. Teylora Petrov, ironically a relative, might have the best shot at challenging him. Though not a fighter, Teylora has a physical edge that few other Citadelles possess. Likely, the two would duke it out in single combat, with Boris Petrov emerging successful.

Brian Davenport, Stan Q. Next, Mew Two, and Liam Slate would all likely post early exits due to their lack of physical prowess. A lot of them are good players, but good fighters -- scrappy players -- not so much. But there are two dark horses here. Mat Smith and Tyler Ward are both workhorses for the Citadelles, and they're hard to judge. But if they can translate chopping wood with those huge goalie sticks to something more violent... well, you never know.

***honkerrs*** · 12-18-2020, 06:18 PM

Honestly in the LR there isn’t too much of a ‘tough guy’ mentality so it is really difficult for me to envision a scenario where we would be straight battle royaling it up. Obviously the person who I think thinks he’s the toughest is Juni Panda. He is known to be one of the biggest hitters that have ever graced the SMJHL and always is chirping it up at training camp and in our team text thread. He does have a pretty horrendous fight record though currently so I don’t think he would win. A couple people I think would be sneaky good in a battle to the death are Danny Marston and Ryosuke Sato. Marston has actually won all his fights this season, which you never would’ve though but he is sneaky an extremely solid guy who I guess used to take some sort of boxing when he was younger. You’d never know unless you talked to him. Another I would assume could win is Sato. He is known to be a big nap guy and honestly would probably just go find a nice nap spot and by the time he woke up would be the only one left. Because of that I think I’m going to have to go with the Sato as the Toronto LR battle royale winner.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us