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TML99 · 07-20-2015, 10:08 AM

*Calls up Wick, Hendrickson, Nasher, Mathews and the rest of the crows

"Hey guys I made a tee time for 12:00 today at Grand Marais Golf Club who's in? Hopefully their wont be St. Louis sports press anywhere they have been hounding us lately for the playoff blowout"

They have been comparing us to the 2013 Leafs blowout but much worse since even if we won the game we would have had to win 3 more.

Leafs: 4-1 in the Thirds to 5-4 win by the bruins in OT

Crows: 3 straight losses than a promising 5-2 lead in the Third all gone in a matter of 10 minutes Montreal leads 6-5 ending the game in regulation. and winning the series 4-0

Wert lines up at the first Tee box and does a quick practice swing, he than swings back and with tremendous speed as if he was picturing the entire Impact squad on the face of the golf ball, he follows through right around and falls on his ass. the entire team bursts into laughter that could be heard from miles. wick says "just like the playoffs...nothings changed.." the entire team laughs again than all look to the ground in a awkward silence as they all remember the playoffs.

Just than a swarm of reporters and fans crowd the tee deck and the crows players, they begin to bombard the team with questions... they had been avoiding the press since the huge upset and the people of St.. Louis wanted answers.

Okay so here you will all play the reporters and fans demanding answers to such a terrible playoff run....

Interview

How much did Zach Cuff pay you to tank to avoid being embarrassed by the Falcons in the playoffs? Interview

Ryan King: *looks around at his teammates in a sketchy manor Ummm... well.. ahhh, it was well knows to the league that the front office was withholding contract money from newly signed players early in the season, it was being speculated that contract money was being withheld for some "security" reasons. Wick heard that the money was going to be used to blackmail the rookies into doing the dirty work of the GM's, Hendrickson heard the money was going to be used by Cuffy and bbp to buy a massive bag of weed and smoke it all in bbp's basement, while others heard that the money would be used to pay off the players if needed dependent on how the season went. Once we got our contract money these rumors fizzled out but suspicion were still in the back of the minds of the payers. I will not comment further on these allegations as I cannot confirm or deny the bribing of St, Louis players, Cuffy is innocent until proven guilty and only speculations have incriminated the GM. *stares into camera with a blank terrified expression mouthing the words "help"

Interview

Which one is it, did the Impact beat you, or did you guys beat yourself? Interview

Ryan King I think we definitely beat ourselves in this one, although our team as a whole left with decent +/- numbers no one could really score or put us in a place to rival the Impact offense. I'm not going t blame the loss one any one guy because our D played amazing, Kozar held his own although being peppered all series. I think we got caught with our foot in our mouth here, we definitely under estimated the team after going 8-0-2 to them in regular season. It just goes to show the playoffs are a different world.

Interview

Next round prediction? Interview

Ryan King I'm going to go with Detroit in 6 or 7 that's going to be a good series seeing how well the impact played against us and knowing how strong that falcons team is. and as for the knights and whalers I'm going to have to go with knights in 5 i know the whalers cam out of no where to make it to the second round but the knights are on fire a of late although they are a bit chilled form siting for so long i think they will handle the whalers just fine in the second round.

Interview

Could someone lose their job or roster spot after this? Interview

Ryan King No no I don't think so we had an amazing season and a great draft I think cuffy and bbp have put us in a good place for seasons to come (huge cred to bbp for scouting!! Wink

we kid about firing cuffy after that playoff upset but only as joke we don't want him to go anywhere he is a great GM!

Interview

Anyone demand for a trade yet? Interview

Ryan King No no one has demanded a trade, i think we are all very happy here its sad that we are going to loose many of our great send-downs but no one wants out. We have a great team with committed rookies, and like firing cuffy some of the guys joke about demanding a trade but i know they don't want to go anywhere!