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Deenerys Targa-rene · 02-03-2016, 05:35 PM

So i've decided to write this guide based on my now 3 year experience on Tinder, partly because i've been getting some of you guys asking me for advice and hopefully so you guys can help up your tinder game a bit and not make some of the mistakes i've made. It's going to be a little lengthy, but it's worth it if you want to improve not only yourself but your tinder matches, the quality of girls you're matching and your Tinder-to-sex game.

<div align="center">Why you should listen to me</div>

I've been on Tinder for about 3 years and have slept with over 40 girls from the app now. My learning curve was steep as I spent a good year and a half of that time doing nothing but failing, falling flat on my face or having girls lose interest within 2-3 hours of talking to them. My game has always been best in real-life settings (grocery stores, malls, etc) so it was difficult to get into the Tinder thing. But, alas, through failure I learned and built a pretty damn good system.

Tinder isn't for you if you're looking for a long-term relationship with a good christian girl, that's for sure. Can you get into a relationship off Tinder? Sure, but it's rare to find a girl there who's loyal enough to keep around. If you want a relationship, I recommend apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Plenty Of Fish, or OkCupid.

This guide is meant for getting the girl to sleep with you on the first date. Me personally, if she's willing to sleep with me on the first date, not girlfriend worthy. But to each their own. This guide is merely to help you get laid.

<div align="center">Step 1: The Profile</div>

The profile is the heart and soul of your Tinder game. Without a good profile, unless you look like one of those instagram models, you're not going to get any action.

No matter how sick your "pick-up lines", without a good profile you are not getting anywhere on tinder.

Your profile needs to reflect you, absolutely, but nobody gives a fuck about your accomplishments on Tinder. I've seen guys with stupid shit like "Captain of my hockey team" or "Recent MBA grad" - Nobody cares. Girls are on tinder to get their vaginas filled by dominant male penis, this isn't a job interview.

You need to be humurous, mysterious and give off the impression that you ARE the type of guy who will sleep with her on the first date and not judge her.

Humor wins on Tinder. I am not the most good looking guy in the world, i'd consider myself to be very average, but my profile is very humurous, the way I talk to girls is extremely laid back and raunchy and it works because humor trumps everything.

<div align="center">Your Pictures</div>

Your Main Picture: 85% of girls will only look at this picture when swiping through. So make it a good one. It has to be a clear picture of your face, and of just you. When you have pictures with other dudes, they automatically assume you're the ugliest one (because why did you have to include them?) and it diminishes your chances greatly. Same thing goes for pics with "Hats and sunglasses" on. Nobody gives a fuck about your hat, put on a good picture of you.

Pics that also do great are pics with cute animals. You holding a puppy. You stroking a cat. Just don't put some weird ass animal like you holding a snake like it's a cock, that shits weird. Stop it.

The rest of your pictures - No matter how big of a dweeb you are with no friends, make it seem like you DO interesting things, PLEASE. No selfies! NO MIRROR PICS!. Show that you do interesting things with friends, like sporting activities. Show yourself in a nice suit. Show yourself just kicking it with the boys with a beer in your hand. Show yourself on a trip somewhere.

Make her wet just thinking about how much added value this girl is going to have being with you. And if you're an extremely lame person without even pictures of you doing fun things, GO IMPROVE YOURSELF AND STOP BEING LAME!. You have ONE life to live, live that shit up man!

DO NOT POST PICS WITH GIRLS! I know you think it'll make you look like a "G" but other girls are turned off by this. They don't want a player.

<div align="center">Your Bio</div>

Give off nuggets of information while keeping an aura of mystery about yourself. What does that mean? It means don't write fucking paragraphs!

"I love my mother and I have a bachelors of science in chemistry well not chemistry lol organic chemistry and i love the vancouver canucks my favorite player is markus naslund and i like to golf and do ballet and suck on my friends' peens"

STOP. Be mysterious and be FUNNY! Let her LEARN about you without you giving her everything right off the bat. THAT'S how you keep good conversation going.

Just remember, on Tinder, the girl has made up 90% of her mind about you before you even talk to her. Trust me when I say this it's been proven to me by several girls i've met on Tinder who have told me that exact thing. So make your shit STRONG!

Give off little tidbits of information about you in a humurous way, and let them learn the rest. How do you do this? Well instead of saying, for example, "I've been playing hockey for 10 years", say "I keep my Canadian quota at bare minimum by engaging in the occasional game of hockey".

Say something humurous. If you can't think of anything, google funny shit and adapt it to fit to you.

Here is my bio as an example. It's extremely creative, it fits my persona and it's a wonderful set-up for the tone of the conversation I have with my Tinder Matches:

[Image: zpJ949c.jpg]

Now in no way is this perfect, but it works for me and my persona. It gives off nuggets of information like my tastes in country, women, and the sports I play but in a creative and funny way. It's engaging.

<div align="center">Swiping</div>

If you are sitting there nit-picking your swipes you are absolutely doing Tinder and life wrong. You are wasting your fucking time.

Swipe right on everybody. Easy. Every 12 hours when your thing re-fills, swipe right on everybody again. Done.

I swipe right on every single girl as soon as i'm able to. Out of, say, 100 swipes I will match with 10 girls if i'm lucky. So now tell me, if thats 10% and i'm swiping right on EVERYBODY, what are your percentages when you're nitpicking like a fool?

Tinder rewards the most active members. I cannot stress this enough. Tinders algorithm will put YOU at the forefront of all the girls' you've liked list of people to swipe, because it wants to create matches. The more active you are on Tinder too, the more girls that you haven't even come across will come across YOU on Tinder, which widens your scope of influence even more.

Just sitting around nitpicking and swiping right on 10 girls an hour is fucking stupid and ineffective. Stop. Kill yourself, it's not going to work.

Swipe right on everybody, and the matches you get, FILTER through them accordingly. It's that simple. Don't waste your time. Find the girls who will like you back and then filter. Don't waste your time on girls who were never going to swipe on you anyway.

Also, download an app called Bonfire for Tinder. It tells you who's already swiped right on you. Here's how I use it: When i'm out of likes, I look at my Bonfire to see who's liked me already. That way I can conjure up a game plan to talk to the ones I want to talk to, and as soon as I match I put the game plan into action.

She's going to think you're so quick witted when in fact you've been planning what to say for the last, say, hour or so (after scanning her profile and shit).

Another way to grab information from a girl and make it seem like you have all the same "interests" is to screenshot her photo, crop it out, and throw it on Google Images on the computer. That'll find her social media profiles, and you can find out more about her before she even knows you EXIST!

Last week I did that, found out a girl was a huge fan of the Ducks, and opened my conversation with "Ugh i'm so sick of my hockey team"

"Who's your hockey team??"

"The Canucks, they keep losing and I wish we had this guy named Bieksa back"

"OMG hahaha I'm a Ducks fan I love Bieksa"

(No jokes this is how it went down).

<div align="center">Okay now you've matched, playa! Now what?</div>

Remember, humor wins.

Here's some quick stats:

I recently deleted my tinder and re-made it because of a trick I like to pull (which I will explain later). Before I deleted it, I had about 583 Matches.

Of those 583, I'd say I contacted about 350 of them.

Of the 350 I contacted, probably 200 of them replied.

Of the 200 that replied, 100 or so were good conversations.

Of the 100 that were good conversations, I slept with about 40 of them.

That's 40/583 on the "Match to Sex on the first date". That means 6% of your MATCHES will sleep with you.

Why am I telling you this? DON'T GET HUNG UP ON ONE GIRL IF SHE'S NOT INTO YOU!. It's nothing wrong with YOU, that's just how the GAME goes. If your bio is killer, your pics are killer and you are confident and hilarious when you're talking to her, some girls are just not going to be responsive. THAT'S OKAY! DON'T LET IT DETER YOU!

Don't become "nervous" or think "omg what should i say or what won't offend her". Just be you and play the numbers game. It's really that simple.

The reality is, a ton of girls are on Tinder solely for attention. They won't sleep with anyone. Some are there looking for the next Brad Pitt. They won't sleep with you. And others you may have just fucked up the conversation or your bio wasn't that great, SO WHAT? Learn! Move on!

I've had tons of conversations that lasted for days and then just ended, she never replied back. Oops. Did I cry about it? In the beginning I was torn up, but now I keep about 10 or so conversations going at a time so I don't even notice.

<div align="center">BE DIFFERENT. BE STUPID!</div>

Please for the love of god don't start with a "hey". Don't start with a "whats up what u doin".

The average girl, from my experience, has about 20 guys messaging her on Tinder per day. PER DAY!

She doesn't have time to tell you what she's doing or to think of something interesting to tell you. It's on you. You have the penis. Girls don't flock to you, you need to win them over with some plain old humor.

Stop over-analyzing what to say and say ANYTHING that is engaging. Remember when I said earlier that they've already made up 90% of their mind about you before you even talk to them? It really isn't going to matter what you say unless you say some stupid dweeb ass shit like "hey".

Don't be afraid to offend girls or be politically correct. Most of the girls i've slept with i've started the conversation with the dumbest shit and they play along, they love it because it's so different.

Some examples:

[Image: sHAn9jN.jpg]

<div align="center">Keep the Pace Going</div>

This is probably one of the biggest ones. Set an early pace and make sure it doesn't die out. You want her number by the end of your first interaction.

A lot of guys try to draw out these conversations over the long haul. No. Get her excited about you, ride the momentum, get the number and get out. There is a certain "stigma" about Tinder. Once you're in her PHONE, you've separated yourself from the pack of 100 dudes messaging her on Tinder. But if you lose her interest, it could be gone forever.

Talk to her quick, get her laughing, get a good rapport going and then strike for the number. Don't ASK for it. Tell her "Give me your number, I don't like being on this app much". Boom, done.

Once that's done, she's in your phone. Now you have the lee-way to be able to settle down. But as long as she's on Tinder, you need to be quick, engaging, and ride the momentum. Get her excited about you. Joke about how you're gonna marry her. Whatever. Just get that damn number.

<div align="center">The First Date</div>

Pick her up. Be a fucking man. Don't meet her at the fucking venue.

Do something fun. Don't ask her to "come over" thats creepy and lame. She will come over, trust me, just do something she'll enjoy. Don't go to a movie, do something active. A hike. Bowling. Something that she will REMEMBER and have fun at.

Remember, the key to dating or getting laid is to stand out. If you take her to a lame ass movie like every other guy has, she'll forget your fucking name the next day. You just blend in. Get her HORMONES going! Get her EXCITED. Do something that she will remember, no matter how much of a dweeb you are, that the activity was so much fun.

Pick her up. Find an excuse to go to your place to "pick something up" if the logistics are correct. I usually pull the "sorry, I forgot my Credit Card at home". Invite her inside but don't ask her to "sit down" or anything creepy like that.

The goal is for her to be comfortable with your apartment. She's already been in there, so when you ask her to come over later that night, she's not going to think it's weird. It removes a huge roadblock.

IF the logistics don't add up to do this, then this option is off the table (she lives far away or blah blah). BUT! No matter what you do, PICK HER UP!!!!!!!!!! 99 percent of the attraction will be built in the car ride, TRUST ME.

If you can't hold a conversation with her during a mundane thing like driving, then she doesn't see you as someone worth sleeping with. SO BE AN ENTERTAINING DRIVER! I don't mean swerve on the road, but just be engaging. Keep her engaged, keep talking to her, be funny, talk about your interests. Make the drive seem short and she'll be thinking "Imagine if everyday was entertaining like this, with this guy". Get her excited.

Do something fun. Make sure you kiss her WHILE you're out, ON the date. Don't pull some creepy fucking shit and invite her over without even getting physically intimate with her.

If the date is going well, she's getting very close to you and intimate, you're projecting confidence by holding her hand through activities or having a "not give a fuck" aura about yourself that you're not judgemental and love going with the flow, then it's easy for you to invite her back to your place.

"I loved this date I don't want it to end, want to go watch a movie at the house?"

If executed correctly, it comes off as "cute" and not "Creepy". Don't fool yourself, she knows you're trying to boink her, but if done tastefully and she genuinely wants to boink you as well, she won't refuse. Why? Because you're not making her feel like a slut. She's comfortable with your apartment, she's comfortable with you, and she's comfortable that you're a laid back guy who won't judge her.

And if the date doesn't go well? Well, who cares right? You're talking to 10 other girls on Tinder, her loss!

If it does? Enjoy the waves of her vagina, my friend.

I will add any other questions you guys may have under here. Thanks for reading,

Deener Signing Off.

QUESTIONS:

Blues · 02-03-2016, 05:40 PM

Ty based deener

Deenerys Targa-rene · 02-03-2016, 05:43 PM

Quote:Originally posted by BluesBoy71@Feb 3 2016, 01:40 PM
Ty based deener

You're welcome, my child

***WannabeFinn*** · 02-03-2016, 05:51 PM

Tinder by Deener

Deender

Deenerys Targa-rene · 02-03-2016, 05:55 PM

Quote:Originally posted by WannabeFinn@Feb 3 2016, 01:51 PM
Tinder by Deener

Deender

:o

Should I create an app

***WannabeFinn*** · 02-03-2016, 05:56 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Deener@Feb 3 2016, 04:55 PM

:o

Should I create an app

if u do I demand 10% for naming rights

ArGarBarGar · 02-03-2016, 05:56 PM

Tldr

Alonzo Garbanzo Final Tallies (Among Defensemen):
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