Originally posted by TheLastOlympian07@Nov 28 2016, 02:23 AM

Mathias Chouinard sucks. not even in VHL HoF  :->

fight me irl

Holy crap, this thread is so good. I just spent a good hour backreading. Thanks for sharing!! Definitely have a longer list now.

Now I just wish I liked horror movies. )

Originally posted by akamai@Dec 2 2016, 01:19 AM
Holy crap, this thread is so good. I just spent a good hour backreading. Thanks for sharing!! Definitely have a longer list now.

Now I just wish I liked horror movies. )

Haha, thank you! Yes, I went a bit crazy with horror movies in October. Should stop now though, haha.

Sausage party, fucking porn and im drunk..good nighr mayes!

Huge update, so I'm going to break it into a few posts.



8/10 - Sex, drugs, and rock & roll define Fast Times at Ridgemont High which highlights sex-obsessed, druggy, Van Halen fans. A classic of 1980s teen comedy, director Amy Heckerling manages to craft a terrific teen film in her directorial debut. Given her later struggles as a director, aside from Clueless, it is clear she is most adept when handling female protagonists. Fast Times at Ridgemont High really highlights this with some truly terrific females characters, as well as some good supporting male characters. All-in-all, the film is a funny, authentic, and loose look at teenagers in the 1980s and, really, any decade. With good performances all around, Fast Times at Ridgemont High remains a classic of the coming of age genre.

Featuring an ensemble cast led by Jennifer Jason Leigh as Stacy Hamilton (kind of), Fast Times at Ridgemont High's greatest accomplishment is its authentic characters. Coaxed into believing sex is all that matters, Stacy begins toying around with the idea until an abortion, Stacy is the typical high school girl. Immature and unsure of what she wants, she assumes she wants what her closest friend claims to want as well. That is until she meets Mark Ratner (Brian Backer). Hilariously awkward, Mark is really my spirit animal. In particular, the scene where he is about to close the deal with Stacy after their first date and they wind up looking at a photo album instead. This moment, though it has never happened to me, really spoke to me on a personal level. Mark is awkward, yet a good person. Though Stacy first overlooks him even though she does find him attractive, she comes to see how great he could be. This is not a classic "nice guy" scenario where he is just nice to her in the hopes she will begin to look him. Rather, there is a mutual attraction from the beginning, highlighting just how well-written these characters are, even for 1982. This is not a classic creepy Hollywood romance. Instead, it is authentic and realistic.

Stacy's best friend Linda Barrett (Phoebe Cates) is equally well-written. Nailing the girl who believes she is wise beyond her years, Linda acts as though she is a sexual professional while speaking about her mysterious fiance in Chicago. Along the way, she convinces Stacy to think the same way that she does. In reality, odds are that Linda does not actually have sex with anybody, even if she does believe herself to be a mature adult. There is always one of these kind of people in high school and Linda really embodies this personality. On the flip side, we have Mike Damone (Robert Romanus) who believes himself to be a ladies man. In reality, he is incredibly inexperienced and does not know what to do at all when it comes to women. Similarly to Linda, Mike believes himself to be incredibly mature, even if he still has a lot of growing up to do.

These are just tidbits of the terrific characters in the film who are all incredibly authentic, while also very well acted. In particular, Sean Penn shines as Jeff Spicoli, the stoned slacker. Always disconnected, confused, and stoned, Penn really nails the character and how laid back the "druggy" of the school always ends up being. Really, the way in which the film manages to develop its wide array of characters and make them all incredibly authentic is very impressive. As one watches the film, there are numerous moments where you can sit back and point to people these characters remind you of. This is really Heckerling and writer Cameron Crowe's greatest accomplishment here: authenticity. With some teenage coming of age movie cliches under its belt, the film manages to overcome them with great authenticity.

Largely a stream of consciousness style film, Fast Times at Ridgemont High is a very funny, incredibly realistic, and fast paced coming of age film. With good performances all around, the film is both incredibly enjoyable and insightful as to the obsession with sex possessed by high school students.



8/10 - Joyeux Noel is a film sculpted out of the spirit of Christmas and of unity. A film about highlighting our similarities in the face of so many differences and animosities, Joyeux Noel is a beautiful film celebrating the kinship of humanity. Telling the real life story of the Christmas truces of 1914 in World War I, Joyeux Noel is a film with great scope, as it focuses on the French, British, and German soldiers in equal measure. With good cinematography, gorgeous music, and an infectious Christmas spirit, Joyeux Noel is an undeniably remarkable work by director Christian Carion.

Blending bloodshed with tears, Joyeux Noel's great breadth really both elevates and harms the film. By showcasing the stories of all three sides and their similarities and all of the elements that make them human, the film expertly creates sympathy on all sides. When the bureaucracy shows up to condemn the actions, both in a religious and war sense, it leaves the audience feeling angered. Yet, it does nothing to undo the brotherhood on display beforehand. From shots of the three troops in their own trenches to the three sides meeting in no man's land to celebrate Christmas, the film is well-served by treating all sides equally. There is no bad, only good. In juxtaposition to the words of their superiors, the soldiers at battle know the truth: there is more that unites us than divides. For this, Joyeux Noel is a phenomenal work that serves up a striking and moving message to humanity: drop your arms and join together, forgetting our petty differences, and unite under one umbrella. This message is not restricted to religion either, though it does heavily depict Catholicism. As shown, the Catholic Church rebuked the priest who conducted the Christmas mass for the soldiers. Thus, religion is like nationality. It is merely something that serves to divide us. It is only when we are truly human with no barriers - such as in joining together to celebrate Christmas or burying our dead - do we find unity with one another.

However, all of this said, its breadth hurts it in the character development department. With so much going on, names get lost in the shuffle and stories blend together. While the stories are all moving and serve to further unite the characters, it feel all too much for two hours. That said, this is a nitpicky concern, given the power of the togetherness in the film. In fact, it could be argued that by giving little attention to character development, the film is aiming to create a sense of realism. Essentially, we know as much about these characters as they reveal to the opposing sides. By the end, this is numerous and reveals a lot about who they are. However, it is only very little information, but it information with great impact that drives home the point that these are humans with lives and wives who, for all intents and purposes, is the exact same as yourself. Thus, we do not really need more character development because it would create an affiliation for certain characters over others when we should instead feel attached to all of them. This is fair and, obviously, I do agree. However, in a longer film, delving further into some stories on each sides would have been a great addition.

However, nothing can match the chills of Anna Sorensen (Diane Kruger) or Private Nicolas Sprink (Benno Furmann) singing for the troops as all sides play the accompanying music. Moving, stirring, and entirely breathtaking to watch, these moments repeatedly gave me chills due to the way in which it truly captures the spirit of Christmas and why this season is the best of the year. One of the few times we all come together, Joyeux Noel is about coming together at all odds. Here, music and a love of God bring the characters together and, even if you hate music or do not believe in God, it is hard to deny the power of the film in these moments.

Though called sentimental by some (and it certainly is), Joyeux Noel is a breathtaking and beautiful work about Christmas and what the season truly means. A film about dropping your arms and differences in order to join one another in celebration of the season, Joyeux Noel is a gorgeous work that is wide in scope, but never loses sight of its main purpose: to bring joy.



4/10 - Okay so this movie is stupid. Like, really stupid. All about Count Dracula needing the body of Frankenstein's monster to give life to his children, Van Helsing is a pure mess of a movie and really off-the-wall. With horrific dialogue and bad effects, this one is just a recipe for disaster. However, its campy inclinations and embracing of its more ludicrous elements by bringing them to their completion is what really makes this one a film packed to the brim with raucous entertainment. That said, the everlasting question of the film is: how bad is life in Transylvania? It is bad enough being neighbors with Dracula. However, to accept that the vampires will kill and eat one or two people every once in a while to sustain themselves as a fact of life and an ideal situation is really terrifying. How bad were things before they struck a deal with Dracula?

Featuring Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing, the famed archenemy of Dracula, the film tells the story of Gabriel Van Helsing having to go to Transylvania in order to kill Dracula. He is to help save the Valerious bloodline, as they will be stuck in purgatory as a result of their failure to kill Dracula, who was one part of their bloodline before he struck a deal with the devil. By the time he arrives, however, only Anna (Kate Beckinsale) is alive. As with all of Beckinsale's more ludicrous roles, Van Helsing is unafraid to utilize her sex appeal with tight clothing, revealing dresses, and tons of ass shots. She is also largely a damsel in distress here finding herself in situations where men must come and save her. However, the one character I did love, other than Van Helsing himself, is Frankenstein's monster (Shuler Hensley). A compassionate figure in this installation, he was created against his will and, yet, now that he is here, all he wants is to live. Highly sympathetic, it is hard to root against the classic monster in this film.

On the flip side, Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) is very easy to root against. Wholly evil, Dracula's large breasted concubines often do his bidding and are truly horrifying to look upon. The special effects on their bat forms are really quite bad and stand out as some of the worst, aside from Mr. Hyde, who is certainly the worst. This said, Dracula himself is well costumed and truly menacing. Roxburg instills him with a stoic deviousness. However, the best part of Dracula is the mythology here. From the ice castle to the missing script to his back story with Van Helsing, it is all very engrossing. With small details sprinkled throughout the film, director Stephen Sommers really does handle the story quite well at times. Though silly and over-the-top, there is a common thread here that binds it all together.

Yet, the film cannot get out of its own way. Not only is the acting horrific by Beckinsale and David Wenham, but so is the script. Deviating and often unfocused, the script is over-written, too long, and far too wordy. Though the story does often exceed these problems, it occurs far too sparingly to ignore the issues with the script. Even worse, the conclusion is embarrassing.

SPOILERS
After killing her as a werewolf, Van Helsing buries Anna. As she is finally reunited with her family, we see a vision of her being reunited with her family in the sky and gravitating towards the light. Yikes.
END SPOILERS

Often really dumb, Van Helsing can also be incredibly fun. Campy, silly, and over-the-top, it is hard to defend the stupidity of the plot, though I really liked the mythology. Unlike other movies of this ilk that came out in the early 2000s such as Underworld, its mythology is its only strength. In Underworld, we had over-the-top, yet solid acting. Solid special effects. And a lot of fun. Here, we get some good fun, but everything else is just so bad it hurts.



7/10 - A largely overlooked neo-noir mystery, Cutter's Way is a solid and compelling film with an okay plot, but very good characters. An acting showcase and a situation in which the characters got most of the writing focus, the plot here slacks and the film drags. However, its actors are so eminently watchable that the film manages to keep you engaged and hooked all the way through, even if its plot is not as mysterious as it would like the audience to believe.

Starring Jeff Bridges as Richard Bone, the film hims with Alex Cutter (John Heard). Bone, after his stops in the middle of an alley, sees a car pull up behind him and then drive off. It is later discovered that this car was dumping a young girl into a trash can and now Bone is prime witness to the crime. It is only later, when at a local festival, that he realizes he recognizes the driver: business man JJ Cord (Stephen Elliott). Though Bone refuses to pursue the case because he cannot be certain, Cutter is far more persistent. A war hero with one eye, one arm, and one leg, Cutter most certainly suffers from PTSD and rides on the adrenaline provided by pursuing the - presumed guilty - Cord. With these two in the helm, Cutter's Way is often captivating as it depicts Bone trying to talk Cutter off the ledge from his own insanity.

However, both characters are often upstaged by Maureen (Lisa Eichhorn), the wife of Alex Cutter. This poor woman is actually very well characterized. Abused, unhappy, yet hoping her husband will overcome his drinking and become who he was before the war, the character garners great sympathy throughout. Eichhorn elegantly brings her to life with a subtle human emotion that sort of shows how much she has internalized and suppressed her pain at this point, as she is simply used to it. This is her life and, though she is unhappy, there is nothing she can envision doing to change her course. This really makes her a tragic figure and adds to the tragedy of the film. Not only does Cutter destroy his own life, but the life of his best friend (Bone) and his wife (Maureen). In many ways, Cutter's Way is a tragic portrayal of the impact war can have on a person.

That said, it is definitely still a murder mystery, as the characters strive to determine whether or not Cord killed the girl. Though it remains unclear to the audience all the way through aside from little pieces, the characters seem certain he is the one. However, a menacing figure in the community, Cord is seen as untouchable and one to fear, not be confronted. However, the film's pacing in this arena is quite slow as much of the time of the film is simply spent exploring the characters lives. This is fine, but it leaves the mystery element on the back burner with no detective work really shown. For a neo-noir, it leaves the film feeling oddly incomplete in this regard and never fulfilling its potential as a crime mystery. If anything, the dead girl is merely tangential to the purpose of the plot and is just an excuse to explore these people. While I loved the characters and the acting, I do wish the film spent more time exploring as they explored the case, not an either or situation.

Overall, Cutter's Way is an often overlooked film, which is unfortunate since it has great actors and great characters. In particular, Heard and Eichhorn are phenomenal here, fully investing themselves into the portrayal of their broken characters. That said, Cutter's Way commitment to its characters is admirable, but it does come at the expense of its plot, which seems hollow and reliant upon the audience merely going along with the conclusions of the characters and not letting us try and piece it together ourselves.


Ran

10/10 - Ran is a masterpiece. Personally, I do not give out perfect ratings often. Every few months, maybe more, a film comes along that stuns me so thoroughly that a rating that is not a perfect score feels like heresy. Ran is that kind of film. From the story to the score to the cinematography to the colors, the film is a lyrical and poetic masterpiece from director Akira Kurosawa. Based on King Lear, Ran depicts the transfer of power from an old Lord to his eldest son, only for him to be subjected to watching his three sons destroy all that he built. A film about chaos of the mind and the world, Ran develops themes of family, respect, honor, nihilism, and postmodernism. An epic of profound scope, delicately brought to life by Kurosawa, Ran is a film that immediately becomes one of my personal favorites.

Depicting the fall of the House of Ichimonji, Ran is an exercise in trusting and respecting those that you what is on their mind, rather than lie to your face but cover it in complimentary words. In this way, Great Lord Hidetora (Tatsuya Nakadai) is doomed to watch his lands fall to ruin after opting to trust those that to lie to him, if only because they bowed before him when they did it. Though the sons will be blamed for fracturing the family, in many ways, Hidetora fractured the family and the family was always doomed to fail. As he had three sons, the power struggle would have continued no matter when Hidetora died. In many ways, this could be described as Ran's way of showing that our actions do not mean anything (nihilism) and everything is pre-determined for us (free-will or lack thereof). This is even mentioned by one character who says to not blame the gods for what occurs because everything has already been determined. Thus, it can certainly be concluded that the Ichimonji were doomed from the start to fracture. However, by trusting his unfaithful sons over his most faithful son because he spoke his mind, Hidetora merely sped up the demise.

Additionally, Ran is an exercise in violence begetting violence. Towards the end, when Hidetora's life is one again struck with tragedy at the hands of his son's violence towards one another, he asks "Is there no justice?" Though his pain is authentic and he is incredibly sympathetic, Hidetora losing his sons to war is justice in its purest form. Throughout the film, we see castles of lords killed by Hidetora. We are introduced to daughters that were witnesses to Hidetora slaughtering their families, only to then be married off to one of Hidetora's sons. For Hidetora to suffer as he made others suffer - by watching his family be destroyed - is justice and demonstrates that you "reap what you sow" and "violence begets violence".

Ran also heavily discusses chaos. In fact, its title translates to "chaos". Yet, the chaos in the film is two-fold: of the mind and of the world. As he family falls apart, Hidetora goes mad. His mind is very literally chaos. Though he has moments of lucidity, his insanity destroys his mind and memory, causing him to forget what his sons look like and forgetting who a faithful servant was. All of these moments are painful to see, in particular with the servant. Faithful from the beginning, Kyoami (Shinnosuke Ikehata) is distraught to see his master forget who he is and the audience certainly feels his pain. The madness of Hidetora, however, is matched by the now war torn region he is surrounded by. With bloodshed, plots for power, and intrafamily conflicts, there is very little chaos and the film reflects this with long, drawn out battle sequences highlighting every element of brutality. Though chaos appears to happen quickly from the outside, it actually comes from very precise and small steps and Ran goes to great lengths to show the slow descent into chaos experienced by the House of Ichimonji. From plotting wives to power hungry siblings, the collapse is hardly a gradual one.

As with many Japanese films, Ran also delves into themes of family, respect, and loyalty. In particular, respect and loyalty are a large element of the film. With long scenes of men showcasing their loyalty by bowing or following their master into battle, Ran develops a constant theme of loyalty. Though some loyal men die, their loyalty is always celebrated, in particular when they do not stay quiet and instead speak their minds. Even if rebuked, they are proven to be right in the end and their original objections were proven to be justified. Had their warnings been headed, the collapse of the Ichimonj would not have happened. As such, Ran could be called a celebration of contrarians. Though they are unpopular figures, the words they speak come from the heart and should be heard clearly, in order to avoid making a fatal error.

Ran is also a very postmodernist film. Essentially, postmodernist theory argues that nothing matters anymore and that God is dead. For Ran, Buddha is dead. Very literally stated to be dead, those who worship Buddha are eventually brutally killed and the film continues to reinforce the belief that it hardly matters what occurs next. Everything is pre-determined for us, thus there is no value in waking up and praying to the gods on a daily basis. In fact, Hidetora is mocked for this action after he first abdicates the throne. Even the final shot further demonstrates how unimportant the entire world is at this point in time. As a blind man drops a picture of Buddha to the ground, he will be unable to find it again, but it hardly matters because Buddha is dead anyways. Even if were once alive, the madness and chaos of the world drove him far away and relegated him to a position in which he just had to watch with disdain and sympathy. In essence, his hands are off the wheel and we are left to drive ourselves off the cliff. The film itself really also is a piece of postmodernist entertainment, further highlighting the lack of originality left in the world. Though I love the film, it is based on two different source materials and its story, themes, and ideas, are hardly original to this single film.

Cinematically, Ran is a masterpiece. In particular, the battle sequences are breathtaking. The siege on the third castle, where Hidetora is holed up, by his eldest two sons Taro (Akira Terao) and Jiro (Jinpachi Nezu) is stunning to view. Largely set to music once it becomes clear that Hidetora's army will not win, the film lyrically floats throughout the battle with a pitch perfect score to match. This oddness and calmness and peace ends violently with a gunshot ringing through the air. The film follows up this scene with a similarly beautiful battle sequence towards the end. With great strategic detail and language, the film sculpts a tremendous battle sequence that is thrilling, precise, and poetic in its movements.

As for the use of color, Kurosawa expertly uses color throughout the film to denote the true intentions of the brothers. Taro, Hidetora's son, is always clothed in yellow. His army also wears yellow as part of its uniform. Often symbolizing courage in countries such as Japan, Taro is actually referred to as a coward, which is a meaning yellow has come to symbolize. However, the yellow in Ran most closely aligns with deceit. As Taro humbly presents himself to his father and asks him not to declare him Lord of the House of Ichimonj, for fear he would be inadequate compared to his father, Hideotora is greatly flattered. However, this was a deceitful action by Taro as he was the first person to betray his father.

Meanwhile, Jiro - Hidetora's middle son - similarly deceives his father by promising to protect him and to work with his brother to preserve the KIngdom. Dressed in red along with his personal army, Jiro's red certainly symbolizes both violence and danger. Wherever Jiro goes, the House of Ichimonj is constantly in danger as he threatens to overtake power and is then manipulated by somebody who wishes the Kingdom great harm.

Finally, Hideotara's young son, Sarubo (Daisuke Ryu) is always seen in blue. Symbolizing faith and truth, Sarubo is Hideotara's most faithful son. However, he is quickly exiled for telling his father that the family is doomed and that the sons will certainly fight. By the end, Hideotara does realize his folly, yet Sarubo's honesty is punished initially. The fact that he is an honest person and faithful to his father is indicated by the use of blue clothing for Sarubo and his army.

A true masterpiece, Ran is a relatively long film, but never slacks, never drags, and never bores. Instead, it constantly impresses with its precise design with regards to mise en scene. The staging, movements, acting, costumes, and production design, are all exquisite and highlight Kurosawa's brilliant attention to detail in all of his works. Expertly depicting the fall of an kingdom in Japan and all of the chaos, nihilism, and pain, that comes from such an occurrence, Ran is a breathtakingly written and shot film that should have each frame of it hung up and displayed in museums across the world.



8/10 - A dream-like whirlwind into a world of drugs, sex, and hip-hop, White Girl is an explosive look at the ramifications of choices and the afflictions faced by youth in America today. Though highly fictionalized, White Girl depicts an absolutely wild last few weeks of summer with doing drugs, dealing drugs, lots and lots of sex, and of course, murder. It is honestly hard to say what White Girl is truly about, other than the choices made by Leah (Morgan Saylor) coming back to her. Though it is her choice as to who to sleep with, choosing to hang around unsavory characters in all walks of life brings unsavory results to her, leaving her to put together the pieces and struggle to cope with her actions.

Starring Morgan Saylor and her nipples as Leah, the film shows her move to inner city Queens with her friend Katie (India Menuez). Two white college girls going to a decidedly liberal school and majoring in liberal arts (how white can one person get?), the duo party hard and often. After moving in, they quickly run out of weed and Leah opts to ask the local drug dealers, led by Blue (Brian Marc) if they can hook her up. What follows is a torrid romance between Blue and Leah, in which Blue plays the role of sympathetic drug dealer. A large well done character, Blue is brought to life by Marc who plays the character in duel fashion. Tough and hard on the outside, Blue melts like butter when around Leah. This is largely highlighted towards the end when he lays on her chest and cries. On the streets, he has a persona - one he opted to showcase to Leah initially - but when he is with her, he is transformed. Though this is a hardly original character, it is hard to deny the phenomenal execution of the character. Not only is he well written by Elizabeth Wood, but brilliantly acted by Marc. Though Saylor is terrific, Marc honestly stole the show.

That said, this is Saylor's show and she owns the screen. Magnetic, manic, and energetic, her portrayal of the ill-fated Leah is both tragic and often painful to watch. Though caring and deeply in love with Blue, she still sleeps around and needs to scrounge up cash to pay off a drug dealer and a lawyer. This proves tough and the film is very classic in this plotting. While White Girl is a very good film, its plot is hardly original and this certainly stands as its greatest weakness. Fortunately, there are characters such as Leah. A strong modern day woman, Leah has no shame from her action and owns them. However, her character's strength and power is no revealed until the end. After a truly traumatic experience, Leah is more reserved and withdrawn than usual. This sequence is tremendously brought to life by Saylor as you can see her struggle to keep the pain internalized and not just collapse on the floor in a pool of tears. It is honestly hard to watch with this element bolstered by Saylor's authenticity in the role.

All of this said, however, White Girl's plot is incredibly weak. Basically a "get rich because I need money now" type of movie, it is incredibly unrealistic with its portrayal of youth. Sure, there is drug use and lots of sex. However, how many young people today can raise their hands and say they found themselves in the situations that Leah did? I venture to say that not many can. However, as a character study, White Girl is undeniably brilliant. To enjoy White Girl, however, you must reserve judgment on its characters. Rather than pigeonhole a character like Leah and ask, "What makes her do these things?" The film most certainly punishes her for these actions, but they are not the point of the film. She is certainly a tragic figure and not be emulated. I am hardly justifying her actions in the film, but Leah is not a nonredeemable character. Instead, she is merely a child who has lost her way and gotten caught up in living life with new found independence. Though its situations are not authentic, this element most certainly does hit home and is realistic. As a senior in college, I have seen my fair share of fellow students fail to cope with adjusting to college life and the freedom that comes as part of the deal. Leah fits this bill and, as such, White Girl is a representation, and is an exaggeration, of these types of young-adults.

Though I expected to hate White Girl and usually hate films so focused on sex, there is something inherently beautiful about this work from debut director Elizabeth Wood. Haunting, tragic, and an excellent portrayal of lost souls who have strayed from the path, White Girl rides on the shoulders of its characters, particularly Leah and Blue. With terrific performances from Morgan Saylor and Brian Marc, White Girl is a modern day tragedy, but one's enjoyment of the film solely depends on whether or not you are able to see these characters as redeemable figures.



6/10 - A Christmas Horror Story of four short stories added to together that jump from story-to-story, rather than focus on going one-by-one. These stories intertwine and take place in the fictional town of Bailey Downs. Sitting high above the town is DJ Dangerous Dan (William Shatner), who is hysterical in the role. Though a mixed bag and the stories jumping between one another does hurt momentum a good bit, A Christmas Horror Story is a generally fun and entertaining horror ride that may not be the best thing I have ever watched, but it is certainly scary and more than worth your time.

The first story concerns three teenagers, Dylan, Ben, and Molly. The local school had a murder the year before in the basement, which was once an old convent. The three go to investigate for what is presumably a news report for a broadcast journalism course. The murders had a particularly religious bend to them with a Biblical quote from the Book of Isaiah proclaiming the birth of Christ written in blood on the wall. A guy and girl were found murdered, with the guy being crucified on the wall. As the night progresses, the three get locked in this section of the school and begin seeing things, namely a girl who had been in the convent, claimed to be a virgin yet pregnant, and died while trying to abort her baby. It turns out in this section that this demon girl wanted somebody to carry her baby for her, no matter the price. Given the quote on the wall, the time of year, the abortion, the persistence, and the bloody eyed Mary statue, I interpreted this baby to be the Antichrist. Given the presence of Krampus, the anti-Santa Claus, in the film, this is hardly far fetched and makes this section of the film make a whole of sense. As it stands, I did enjoy this section actually. Though pretty typical, it was one of my favorites and I was itching to get back to it whenever it cut away.

The second story concerns Police Officer Scott, his wife Kim, and their son Will. A cop at the scene of the crime last year, Scott is still incredibly shaken by what he saw. While on a trip to cut a Christmas tree from the woods, Will is possessed or something by a changeling. Chaos ensues and this section was not that interesting, honestly. At least with the first part, there was a great mystery as to what was happening. Here, it was pretty obvious Will was possessed and that everything was not as it seemed. It just depended on how long it took for Scott and Kim to realize their son was not with them. Overall, it is passable, but simply took too long and was largely quite dull.

The third story comes back to the people in the first story again with one of their friends, Caprice, stuck going on a family trip with her dysfunctional family. A run in with Krampus makes all of their problems come to the surface and also teaches the fundamental lesson of Christmas: Santa may not be real, but the spirit of Christmas is real and is within us all. Similarly, the spirit of Krampus can enter you and cause serious harm. Though not an absolutely stellar section, it does have some touching family moments, as well as moments of sheer terror.

Finally, the last one is set in the North Pole, but actually relates to DJ Dangerous Dan. With the elves turning into zombies, Santa must kill them all before they kill him. The same even goes for Martha Claus ("SAVE....MARTHA!" - Henry Cavill as Clark Kent/Superman, Batman v. Superman). Orchestrated by his archrival Krampus, the ending of this section is a bummer, even if it does make sense. During the parts with DJ Dangerous Dan, it is revealed that there is a hostage situation at the mall. As it turns out, it is just Norman - the meteorologist for Dan's show - thinking that he is Santa with the zombie elves. Thus, this whole section occurs in Norman's head and is really just a dream. Though it has great production design and is a very cool concept, the ending is a let down. That said, it does gel well with the other sections and the ideas about the Christmas/Krampus spirit. However, even with the bad ending, this section is still far and away the most raucous fun presented by this film with good zombie design and then the promised battle between Santa and Krampus.

Overall, A Christmas Horror Story is a fun and diverting film that, while flawed, has some very scary parts and is a largely entertaining film about the Christmas spirit and the birth of Christ.

8/10 - Taking the concept of a short film and expanding it out over feature-length is never easy. Yet, Lights Out director David F. Sandberg does it with ease in this scare-filled, chilling, and atmospheric horror film. Never knowing where the attack will come from next, Sandberg's horror instincts are top-notch, but what is even better is the story. Far too often, horror movies ditch the story in favor of just trying to scare its audience. However, Lights Out develops its characters, it story, and really earns it scares and horror. At the end of the day, it is as divisive as all other horror movies, but it has an undeniably great concept and, for me, it executed this concept perfectly.

Starring Diana as our resident evil being, this poor family has been stalked and hunted by Diana for a long, long time. Though impeccably scary, her back story and her connection to this family are incredibly well-developed and compelling. Sandberg, in this case, turns the film almost into an investigative drama as Rebecca (Teresa Palmer), her little brother Martin (Gabriel Bateman), and her boyfriend Bret (Alexander DiPersia), piece together who Diana is and her relation to Rebecca and Martin's mom, Sophie (Maria Bello). In this section, Sandberg manages to create tension through the mystery of the entire proceeding and invites the audience to solve the mystery along with the characters, which is always a fun enterprise to undertake as an audience member.

However, the real point here is to scare you. Though cliched in parts, the film's unique concept allows the film to take a unique approach to these cliches and always keeps you guessing throughout the runtime. Along with the characters, we are forced to guess where Diana is and, as her movement is hard to pinpoint, you can never really guess where she is hiding. Sandberg definitely has a lot of fun getting his character's and audience's mind racing with this element and uses it in order to buck cliches.

In terms of its characters, all of them are largely well developed. However, all are bolstered by their actor. Particularly, Palmer is terrific as Rebecca and really steals the show. Along the same lines, Bello perfectly portrays the tormented Sophie who cannot escape the clutches of Diana, no matter how hard she tries. Though you can see the ending coming, its power is bolstered by the acting of this duo who allow the film to reach a terrific emotional and horror crescendo.

For a horror film, Lights Out is terrific. For a debut, it is all the more impressive. With great creature design, mythology, story, and characters, Lights Out is clearly a labor of love for Sandberg and it really pays off in this chilling, thrilling, and downright scary film that made me regret leaving the lights off when watching.



9/10 - My first Tarvoksky and well, his works definitely live up to the hype. I was always pushing off his work purely through intimidation. Boy was I wrong. Yes, this is slow, but it is never boring. The themes are effortless woven into the very fabric of the film and Tarkovsky's camera work, use of color, and meditations on human existence are brilliant. In Solaris, Tarkovsky explores various themes, most notably grief. However, ideas regarding the meaning of life, why we want the meaning of life, and why we want to have contact with extraterrestrials, are all considered in this master work. A truly hypnotic experience, the film's long runtime would have flown by if the stream I used actually worked in the beginning. However, even with that inconvenience, it was impossible to look away.

One of the best elements here is grief. As in the remake, which I also loved and still do, the mystery regarding the planet's behavior is tremendous. With the planet creating versions of people from the pasts of those on the Solaris mission, it becomes clear that the planet is forcing these people to confront their pain. In particular, Kris Kelvin (Donatas Banionis) is forced to cope with the loss of his wife, Hari (Natalya Bondarchuk). Though he knows she is not real, he cannot accept that she is not real, which clearly causes him to experience the pain of losing her once again. As one of the main thematic endeavors of Solaris, grief gets the most screentime. However, the questions it provokes certainly tie into other elements of the film. In one brief monologue, fellow scientist Snaut (Jüri Järvet) questions why humans are obsessed with finding and establishing contact with other planets, stating: "We don't want to conquer space at all. We want to expand Earth endlessly. We don't want other worlds; we want a mirror. We seek contact and will never achieve it. We are in the foolish position of a man striving for a goal he fears and doesn't want. Man needs man!" In this quote, it really ties in with some of the questions the "guests" cause to arise. For example, why does the planet do this? What is its purpose? To make us overcome our grief? To what end? Is this a defense mechanism to drive us away, due to our inability to cope with grief? Do any of these questions truly matter because we are, in fact, running a fool's errand by trying to find new worlds anyways? I do not have the answers here, but they are interesting questions that are provoked while watching the film.

In terms of its plotting, Solaris is certainly very deliberate. With long takes of various images, Tarvoksky weaves a film that feels more lyrical and poetic than anything else. Utilizing a visual medium, Tarkovsky strives to sew together images that tell the real story of what is going on and, to do this, the camera often lingers in one spot. Spliced together, the end result is a gorgeous film where, at any moment, the film can be paused and the imagery is guaranteed to be gorgeous. One of the best elements here, as well, is that the camera never rushes to catch up with the characters. Often the camera loses the characters and slowly glides its way back to focusing on them.

Interestingly, through this style, Tarkovsky is also able to create a great sense of dread. In particular, the scene when Kris Kelvin first arrives at Solaris and no one is there to greet him. This scene is slowly revealed with Kelvin meandering his way through the space station, allowing the dread to increase considerably the longer scene takes to progress. Next, the ending features a similar sense of dread. However, in addition to visually, this scene unfolds sonically as well. Though initially seeming safe and otherwise unremarkable, the camera slowly rises up into the sky, revealing what the true situation is, Tarkovsky creates an ending with a level helplessness matching a true horror such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This helplessness is matched within the film by its theory regarding shame and how it is the true source of helplessness. Given Kelvin's regrets regarding his wife, it is not implausible to suggest that this situation was born out of his shame for his life up to that point. However, the scene does not just unfold visually, but through the score. As the establishing shot is set and the film begins to fade to white, the viewer's ears are assaulted with a discomforting and unpleasing musical score that, personally, left me feeling completely uncomfortable.

My first foray in the work of Tarkovsky, watching this version of Solaris was long overdue after I loved Soderbergh's take on it with George Clooney. Though this film is indisputably superior, the remake is still a brilliant work that is unfortunately plagued with being compared to this one, though I definitely need to rewatch it anyways. As for Tarkovsky's film, it more than lives up to it reputation as one of the, if not the, best science fiction films ever made.



1/10 - Vulgar, immature, and beyond our current definition of stupidity, Sausage Party is a film that actually has an interesting concept. The tale of a hot dog discovering the truth surrounding his fate, Sausage Party turns into an excuse for Seth Rogen and company to thump their atheist chests at believers, while also making food puns and exclusively using toilet humor. Lowering the bar on the lowest common denominator in cinema, Sausage Party is actually worse than Deadpool. Why? Well, I liked Ryan Reynolds. Here, there are very few redeemable elements. A few food puns worked, but were hardly substantive. However, even if I was enjoying this film with humor that can solely be found in middle school classrooms, the food orgy at the end would have ruined that enjoyment. This idiotic and insipid slice of garbage cinema should honestly cause shame for those who wrote this film, for even thinking that this dialogue worked.

Ignoring the fact that no joke lands, the film makes repeated sex, poop, genital, and racist jokes throughout. Yet, as it does offend everybody, the racist element does not bother me. The other parts, however, were just so easy. It is a real shame that this film is rated-R because then nobody under 18 could see this in theaters without a parent. If the audience were just 11-year olds, Sausage Party would be hailed all over as the best film since like ever. Maybe the best since Deadpool or Kingsman. However, just like those other edgy, low-brow humor films that indulge far too greatly in the sexual comedy fantasies of young boys, Sausage Party is never funny, nor is it ever enjoyable. With a disposable plot, a conclusion that makes no sense, and a gum Stephen Hawking being hailed as the one to bring reason to the world ("F*** YOU CHRISTIANS!"), Sausage Party really outdoes itself to be nothing but fleeting entertainment. Not much will last from this film as its disposable plot does nothing to save its horrific sense of humor.

The tragedy here, however, is that the film wastes Edward Norton doing his best Woody Allen impression. If there was ever a good thing to come out of this, it would be for Edward Norton to simply play the Woody Allen character in a Woody Allen movie. He may have done this already (I know he's worked with Allen before), but it needs to be done anyways. What is an even more egregious tragedy here, however, is the film's treatment of women. With all female characters sexed up to the point that the camera literally just zooms in on their ass and vaginas, Sausage Party is the embodiment of the male gaze and the theories presented by Laura Mulvey. Even worse, the film posits the only purpose for women in the film is to be subservient to men with their only drive being their desire for a penis. This is straight out of Mulvey's beliefs regarding the role of women in film and this abhorrent piece of work truly goes out of its way to fulfill all elements.

With a reliance on sexual visual gags and food puns, Sausage Party is never fun and deserves to be cast into the fires of hell for all of eternity. Somehow, it is not the worst film of the year though, if only for the Saving Private Ryan references, the queso joke, and Edward Norton. Oh the torture.



4/10 - Wow, this movie got a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? With puppets that look on par with the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas special, The Witches is a grating and truly annoying film. By the end of it, with how annoying the kids Luke (Jasen Fisher) and his friend Bruno (Charlie Potter) are, I honestly sympathized with the witches wanting to exterminate children. I cannot help but feel that this was not the intention of director Nicolas Roeg. Aside from how annoying the children are in this film, The Witches is also plagued by bad acting, a predictable plot, and a typically sentimental and cheesy ending. This fast-paced sugar rush of entertainment provides little joy and I can only imagine how scary it could be for children.

Starring an annoying 1980s/1990s film child and his grandma who suffers from diabetes when the plot needs her to, The Witches tells the story of, well, witches. These witches are hidden in plain sight with only slight characteristics that tip off their true identity. Otherwise, they are normal women. Yet, they have a diabolical plot to kill children. Led by the Grand High Witch (Anjelica Huston), they will now embark on turning every child in England into a mouse with a new formula and the use of sweet shops to lure in their prey. An admittedly inventive plot, The Witches has some hope when developing its lore. With a menacing character set to take the screen, there is a lot anticipation leading up to seeing the Grand High Witch. Sadly, this comes crashing down when Anjelica Huston shows up. In a highly praised performance, I yet again hated her performance. Over-the-top to the point of comedy, she inspires no fear. Her lines escape from her mouth barely. Honestly, it barely even feels as if she is trying to deliver her lines with any sort of emotion or intention. Other than Wes Anderson films, I have yet to be impressed by Anjelica Huston. The Witches was doomed once I realized she turned in another ineffectual performance here.

However, she is not the only one to let this film down. With annoying characters, fake puppets courtesy of Jim Henson, and the pain and agony of having to watch these children as mice for a little under an hour, this one was tough to get through. By the grace of God, Nicolas Roeg puts the pace into overdrive throughout with the quickest moving bad movie I have ever seen and it is truly merciful. Yet, it is not enough to escape my ire. With a predictable plot, The Witches clearly sets up scenarios that are devoid of any tension. Since it is a kids film, Roeg plays it safe at every turn, afraid to cause any unnecessary stress for child viewers. Instead, the film jumps from cliche scene to cliche scene that is easily digestable and overly familiar to anyone who has seen enough bad late 1980s/early 1990s family movies. The scenes supposed to have tension - the bedroom scene and the kitchen scene - play out exactly as one would expect with Luke narrowly evading detection as a mouse. Fortunately, if you did not know he was doing this, Luke also narrated his every action and emotion along the way to keep you abreast of his situation. If Luke is not your cup of tea, we also have Bruno. Bruno is fat and likes to eat. Every line he says relates to either. Is that not the funniest thing ever?

The film continues its downward trend with its predictable ending, which feels as if it taken straight out of the family movie playbook. For a man capable of making far better films such as Walkabout, Roeg seems uncharacteristically comfortable with making a by-the-numbers family movie without diverting from the cliches or the typical narrative structure at all. Instead, as the ending shows, he is committed to having it play out as stereotypically as possible. Sadly, his cliched happy ending with an uncharacteristic action from a witch also goes against the book, which appears to have a far better ending. Here, it does fit the tone of the film, but it does solely to give a nice happy ribbon to a film that does not need one.

A family film that may be a bit scary for many kids, Nicolas Roeg's The Witches is an incredibly disappointing film. Given the previous work I had seen by Roeg (Walkabout), I had high hopes. Yet, the only joy I got was watching Rowan Atkinson throw and kill mice. Otherwise, I got a cliched and predictable family film that followed the narrative structure of every other family film to a tee. This can be fine, but it does not provide a great path towards being a good film. Instead, The Witches is a film that parents can toss on for the kids and not be completely repulsed, even if the mice/children are grating.



7/10 - Nocturnal Animals is the second film by director Tom Ford and, likewise, it is the second film I have seen from him. The famed fashion designer known for his visual style fleshes this out in Nocturnal Animals, starring Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal. Telling the story of a woman who reads the novel of her ex-husband and slowly realizes it has a basis in reality, Nocturnal Animals is a tense, thrilling, and visually arresting film, but it does get a bit too caught up in its style to be anything truly spectacular. As it stands though, it is still a very good sophomore effort from Ford in the director’s chair.

As with A Single Man, Nocturnal Animals’ greatest asset is its visuals. The stunning cinematography is not the only area of this, but it is where I will start. The best shot, to me, was of Edward Sheffield (Gyllenhaal) running from the desert to the road and through a barbed wire. Focused on the desert, Gyllenhaal enters the frame at a distance from the right and the camera never moves. No close-up, nothing. Rather, he still in the far third of the screen. The end result is a beautifully staged shot that, for whatever reason, really worked for me. Similarly, gratuitous shots of the desert are a personal favorite of mine and apparently Ford too, given how often he used them. Similarly, shots of cars driving at night or simply the Texas landscape prove to be gorgeous shots. However, as is expected, Ford has a eye for style. From terrific costumes for Amy Adams, great make-up/hairstyling, and great production design with a stunning level of detail, Ford creates a truly beautiful world that makes you want to cloak yourself in its aesthetic appeal.

In terms of its plot, Nocturnal Animals occurs in both the non-fictional and fictional with the latter being in Susan's mind as she reads Edward's novel. As she reads, Ford often cuts between her reading and Edward and Sheriff Andes's (Michael Shannon) reenactment of the story. As it progresses, however, Ford often cuts between Susan and fictional Edward doing the exact same thing. Showering. Rising out of a bath. Showering again. Laying in bed in opposite directions. Here, Ford tries to create a connection between the fictional and non-fictional, but undeniably becomes far too focused on creating artistic appeal than anything else. The cuts are pretty, but feel far too indulgent to really land with much power. Fortunately, the plot does save this element with powerful stories that parallel one another. It is clear that Ford is evidently pro-life in this film given his portrayal of abortion in both worlds. Yet, it is incredibly interesting to watch this parallel come together in the plot and even in the title (a nickname given to Susan by real Edward). This is really where much of the intrigue of Nocturnal Animals comes in as, otherwise, it would just be a pretty typical revenge thriller. Here, it adds another layer and, as such, becomes a truly compelling work worthy of further study.

Performance-wise, I would be lying if I said Michael Shannon did not steal the show. As a hard-nosed cop who violently throws up often due to his lung cancer, Shannon does not put on a Texas accent to disappear into his role. Rather, he carries himself with the attitude and swagger of a Texas sheriff and, simply by seeing him walk into frame, you know he means business. Gyllenhaal is also terrific here as the grief stricken Tony Hastings in the fictional world. Powerful and intense, Gyllenhaal brings to the forefront Tony's personal issues with his/Edward's own masculinity and being called "weak". Often moved to anguish, Gyllenhaal - though upstaged by Shannon - continues his hot streak of terrific roles and performances. Compared to the men, Adams is far more low-key. Her role is far more subdued and subtle. She plays the role terrifically well, however, capturing the emotionless nature of her character, never showcasing the slightest hint of being broken or phased by those around her.

The best piece of Nocturnal Animals is its visuals. Haunting, arresting, and simply gorgeous to view, they are certainly bolstered by a good score that rises at the perfect moments and great acting. Yet, Ford's willingness to indulge in his artistic endeavors far too often do hold the film back a bit, notably during the cross-cutting between Adams and Gyllenhaal and the opening sequence. In this way, Nocturnal Animals is certainly beautifully imperfect.



5/10 - "Kent and I have sex every Friday night after Blue Bloods. I find Tom Selleck's work to be very erotic."

-Kristen Bell as Kiki

Part comedy, part ode to mothers, Bad Moms is an often funny comedy that boasts a cast of characters with great chemistry with one another, but has an incredibly weak plot. With cliches left and right, Bad Moms is a typical unsuspecting hero rises to the top against all odds against a evil villain who is not actually that evil story. I explained it poorly, but if you watch enough movies (at least more than 10 in your life), you are well accustomed to this storyline. This element certainly holds the film back and though the film's plot and jokes are very typical for a modern comedy, its characters have enough charisma and venom to make them stick the landing.

Led by Mila Kunis, who stars as "bad mom" Amy Mitchell, this cast has some seriously comedic chops amongst them. Joining Kunis are Kathryn Hahn as slutty mom Carla and Kristen Bell as weird mom Kiki and together, the three kill every scene they are in. With raunchy humor coming from every direction, the joke repertoire is pretty limited. Yet, these ladies make it work for them. However, the best part here is actually the characters. Overworked, overstressed, and suffering from a cheating husband, Kunis' Amy Mitchell tries her best, but it is never enough for her kids or anyone in her life. Here, Bad Moms truly celebrates this hero. Though often overlooked, this mom who may not be the best, but tries her hardest and does a good job deserves recognition and this film is willing to give it to her. This is largely the film's greatest accomplishment. Otherwise, Carla is just slutty and Kiki is just weird. They lament about the men in their lives and, to be fair, the men in their lives suck. However, the trio is united in their love of their children, no matter how bratty and rude they can be to them, which is a real testament to moms as a whole.

Unabashedly a chick flick, Bad Moms feels the need to borrow from past chick flicks with useless men, guys who the women fawn over, and of course, having its own personal "mean girls". The first two elements are whatever. It is a chick flick after all. However, Mean Girls already handled the topic of the "queen bee" and her little minions. Here, Bad Moms introduces its queen bitch as Gwendolyn James (Christina Applegate) and her two lackees Stacy (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Vicky (Annie Mumolo). Vicky is hysterical with her aloof nature and willingness to just go against the tide to do whatever her scatter brain desires. However, Gwendolyn and Stacy are so typical, it is a shame. The plot is cliche, but make no mistake, so are the characters here. Together, they combine for a sea of cliches that hit with greater and greater intensity throughout.

In complaining, however, I do not want this point to be lost: Bad Moms is not that bad. A cliche and modern comedy in all the worst ways at times, Bad Moms can also be hysterical. With a light and fun atmosphere and a lighting quick pace, Bad Moms evades being killed by its negative qualities and instead delivers a quality summer comedy that is nothing but disposable entertainment. Though not a woman or a mother, I can safely guess that Bad Moms would be the perfect idea for a get together of middle aged women. It is raunchy, yes, but it does have a story that will resonate with that demographic and it certainly celebrates these women who selflessly dedicate themselves to those who do not the same for them. This makes for an appealing chick flick for that demographic and it will likely be celebrated a such. For guys, it is a pretty funny movie and you can do far worse when it comes to clear chick flicks. At the very worst, Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, and Kristen Bell, are incredibly funny here and deliver quite good performances that do often rise above the material.



7/10 - Certainly one of those 1980s films that has shown wear-and-tear in the years since its releases, Ladyhawke is still an enjoyable and funny adventure romp. Starring Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Rutger Hauer, Ladyhawke is a fantasy adventure film with religious elements, comedy, and campy battle sequences. Hardly a truly serious film, Ladyhawke has a good time along the way, even if Donner often overindulges in the campy elements during battle sequences to the detriment of the film as a whole. Funny, entertaining, but entirely disposable, Ladyhawke has not aged well, but remains eminently watchable.

Broderick stars as Philippe Gaston, a petty thief and pickpocket, who escapes from a dungeon in medieval Europe. Previously seen as impossible to escape from, Gaston's accomplishment is not taken lightly by the Bishop in charge of the town (played by John Wood). As he escapes from jail and is tracked down by the Bishop's army, he is rescued by the mysterious Captain Navarre (Rutger Hauer). Accompanying Navarre on his journey to kill the Bishop, Philippe comes to learn a unique secret about Navarre and his lover Isabeau (Michelle Pfeiffer) and their sordid history with the Bishop. The end result of this history is a curse that prevents the two from being together and is spoiled if you read the movie's description on any site (such as on Letterboxd, so do not do that if you have not seen the movie). What ensues is a morality play, Broderick engaging in banter with God, and cheesy battle sequences.

The greatest morality play here concerns Navarre. Wronged by the Bishop, Navarre considers his mission from God to be to kill the Bishop. However, doing so would eliminate any chance of lifting the curse. Thus, he must rely upon non-violent means suggested by Philippe and Imperius (Leo McKern) - a Bishop and friend of Navarre's - in order to overcome the curse and the Bishop. Here, Navarre learns that violence is not the will of God, nor is vengeance. Rather, trust and faith in the belief that God has a plan and things will be righted in the end is the way of God. A powerful and emotional element of this otherwise silly film, Ladyhawke is obsessed with the relationship between God and man, with this being the ultimate lesson to be learned.

Not only does Navarre learn this lesson, but so does Philippe. Constantly engaging is humorous banter with the "almighty", Philippe is a petty thief who eventually begins to see the light. Through his role as a sort of "guardian angel" for both Navarre and Isabeau, Philippe finds a purpose and meaning in the world. Fortunately, this does not stop Broderick from cracking jokes at every turn, which really both enforce the film's campy nature and provide incredible entertainment. While Hauer and Pfeiffer are hardly anything special here, Broderick is what really injects life into this film with witty lines and incredible comedic delivery of these lines. 1980s Matthew Broderick is the best Matthew Broderick and Ladyhawke really highlights why this is still the case.

An incredibly campy film, Ladyhawke highlights this in battle sequences. Over-the-top and silly, Donner has a lot of fun with sword play and exaggerate choreography in the battles. In particular, the final battle in the Church features much of these antics, but it is held back with some weird usage of slow motion and being a weird mixture of over-the-top, yet clearly choreographed. None of the battle is overly smooth and just has this weird manufactured feeling to it all. What makes it worse, however, is the final sequence that is obviously predictable with Hauer lifting up Pfeiffer and them declaring their love for one another. Sentimental and cheesy, this ending just felt so contrived it does hurt the final product.

Not to be taken overly serious, Ladyhawke is a fun movie with great comedy, a great performance by Matthew Broderick, and a compelling and interesting plotline. Though the ending is a bit of a letdown given the strength of the rest of the move, the film's positives more than outweigh the negatives the third act provide.

6/10 - Popstar: Never Stop Popping is the latest concoction from musical comedy trio The Lonely Island. Telling the story of rapper Conner4Real and his past membership with the rap group The Style Boyz, Popstar is a mockumentary musical comedy akin to This Is Spinal Tap. Similar to that 1980s comedy classic, Popstar offers an insightful look at the music industry and the bloated ego that comes along with it for many stars. At the end of the day though, Popstar often feels like an elongated Lonely Island Youtube video that is not funny enough to justify the length. Never laugh out loud funny, Popstar offers many chuckles and is largely irreverent enough to be entertaining, but never truly reaches the comedic heights could have aspired to touch.

Starring Andy Samberg as Conner4Real, Samberg turns in his typical brand of comedy with Conner4Real being an idiot and self-absorbed guy who is treated as a legend of the music industry. Alongside him are the rest of The Lonely Island group as well as a wealth of former SNL actors such as Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Kevin Nealon, Tim Meadows, Joan Cusack, and Will Forte. All starring in largely small roles (other than Meadows), these characters do add a lot in terms of comedic talent to this film. In particular, Bill Hader's small role as a guitar technician for Conner that enjoys "flatlining" is hysterical and the type of dumb, silly comedy to be expected from a film of this sort. Through The Lonely Island, there is obviously great chemistry and comedic ability between the trio. This often comes to light, but never amounts to hilarity and simply relies upon silly lines and small visual gags that elicit laughs, but are fleeting and non-substantial.

When compared to the best comedies of the year thus far, such as The Nice Guys, Love & Friendship, Hail, Caesar, or Ghostbusters (sue me), Popstar's laughs are more inconsistent. Many jokes do fall flat and the film can go long stretches where there are apparent joke attempts simply through the absurdity of the situations, but many do not land. Compared to those best films, the film's dialogue is a lot goofier and takes itself less seriously, but has less of a comedic pay-off. Now, of course, this is not to say Popstar is not funny. The random humor of The Lonely Island does appeal to me, but simply does not lend itself to being a full film due to the hit-and-miss nature of this style of comedy. Fortunately, when it does hit, it is funny and when it does miss, it is not eye-rollingly bad or lame. Instead, it is simply a joke that did not work as well and the film offers so many of them along the way, it is easy to look past bad jokes and still get a lot of enjoyment out of the film.

As for its portrayal of the music industry, Popstar's storyline is pretty typical and does not offer a unique perspective, but it is an entertaining and informative look at the life of a popstar who blew up beyond the scope of his former groupmates. Becoming conceited and self-absorbed, Conner4Real discounts his past friends and looks down upon them and becomes obsessed with his success alone. This certainly has a negative impact on his own success and he is forced to recognize he did not reach these heights alone. Clearly, this is not unique, but the backstage look at the pop industry and camaraderie that can exist between performers in the industry is fun and says a lot about the current state of the music industry and its reliance upon concerts and social media. In this way, it does often function similar to This Is Spinal Tap, but updates it for the modern age and, in this way, it is a worthy contender with the comedy classic as both offer an engaging look at the state of the industry.

An overall middling comedy, Popstar: Never Stop Popping offers a lot of jokes that either hit or miss, but the hits are low and the misses are often only slightly off-the-mark. Thus, it is neither hysterical or appallingly unfunny. Instead, it is simply middle-of-the-road entertainment that largely positively rides on the shoulders of the comedic and charismatic talent it presents to the audience. The end result of that being an enjoyable and brisk hour and a half that more than entertains.



6/10 - The Cooler is a low-key early 2000s film that has an almost mystical or fantastical feeling to its very realistic setting, in large due to it taking place in Las Vegas. A dream-like environment in the real world, The Cooler captures this feeling as it tells the story of the unluckiest man on Earth, Bernie Lootz (William H. Macy). A "cooler" for the Shangri-La casino, Bernie's luck begins to turn around when he meets Natalie (Maria Bello). However, drama arises when it becomes clear that Bernie's cruel, old-school mobster and casino head Shelly (Alec Baldwin) will not let this change of fate happen for Bernie. A character study, The Cooler is a pretty down-to-earth film with nothing extravagant about it and it is a worthy film in this area, but the ending feels far too happy for the subject matter.

In a typically great performance, Macy plays the unlucky and deeply depressed Bernie incredibly well. Emoting the change of fate due to the addition of Natalie to his life, Macy really brings life to the character throughout and does a great job creating sympathy for this sad soul. Through dialogue and small visual cues (such as the cream in the coffee), director Wayne Kramer expertly highlights the difference in Bernie and his aura that surrounds him. At the beginning, when he came on screen, the screen itself felt cold and unwelcoming. By the end, it had a certain warmth and level of comfort that was discovered by Bernie in his scenes with Natalie. Yet, the best part of this movie is Alec Baldwin. Hands down. He did not get a Golden Globe and Academy Award nomination for this role for no reason. Cold, calculating, yet alone, outmatched, and much like a lion being left for dead by his pride, Baldwin is a brutal, yet oddly sympathetic figure at times. Playing this dichotomy very well, Baldwin somehow elicits compassion from the audience despite the horrible actions he partakes in as a mobster and casino owner. By the end, we realize he acts out of pain and desperation in order to keep his control and really becomes a tragic figure by the end. His horrible actions are still inexcusable, such as his abuse of Natalie, but he is a far more complicated figure than one might expect and Baldwin excels in this role here.

Unfortunately this character study, while engaging, is undone by a silly happy ending. Though the film feels as though it spiraling towards a certain conclusion that would fit with the trajectory of its tragic figures, it cops out at the end and opts to give us a lovey dovey conclusion. Not only is it uncharacteristic for the film itself, but it is far too abrupt and, if it needed to be include, should have felt far more seamless and less jarring.

The romance between Natalie and Bernie has a loose and natural feeling that helps it blend into the rest of the film. Though a weaker element compared to the scenes in the casino, the romance still largely works, even if it is incredibly contrived and cliche. From being paid to actual love to trying to run away, the romance in The Cooler may work because of some odd chemistry between Macy and Bello, but it is hardly worthy of the focus it receives in the film as a whole. It is a shame that we did not get more of the relationship between Bernie and Shelly, in particular the issues regarding the casino and its future. There is far more meat on those bones, than in the scenes of romance. While largely well crafted, it is not due to originality or intrigue, but merely rides on the talent of its actors.

A low-key character study, The Cooler is a finely paced and compelling story set in Las Vegas. Graced with the a mystical feeling, The Cooler develops terrific characters, but a cliche romance element and a jarring ending hold the film back from being anything but above average to pretty good. Yet, it is hard to deny that its actors, particularly Alec Baldwin, are absolutely brilliant and the direction by Wayne Kramer is great with terrific subtleties to reveal the true nature of the characters he puts under the microscope.



8/10 - Known for his gothic films, Tim Burton embraces his weird side in Mars Attacks! Okay, he embraces his weird side in every film he has ever made, but I mean, his really weird side. Light, stupid, and incredibly funny, Mars Attacks! is an riotously funny science fiction comedy that is more than in on the joke and knows actions on screen are absurd. With its tongue placed firmly in its cheek, Tim Burton's film offers more laughs than it knows what to do with, while also giving a humorous look at people's reactions to the attacks. From weirdos in Vegas to a pair of kids who were clearly prepared for the attack, the President, the military, and rednecks in Kansas, Mars Attacks! offers some political insight, but more or less settles for being tongue-in-cheek science fiction film and I was more than okay with this approach.

Spoofing 1950s science fiction films, Mars Attacks! features an ensemble cast led by Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Natalie Portman, Jack Black, Pam Grier, Christina Applegate, and Ray J before his Kim Kardashian sex tape. This cast hams it up a ton in their various roles with each of them engaging in hysterical encounters with the attacking alien forces. As for standouts among this cast, Nicholson is a big highlight in a duel role as the President and, in Vegas, as real estate developer Art Land. Offering two very different performances between the serious President and the outlandish and crazy Art Land, Nicholson is both a calming presence and a great source of dry humor in the film. Natalie Portman is also hysterical here as the President's daughter. Though incredibly young, her deadpan delivery and comedic timing make every word that leaves her mouth comedic gold. Pierce Brosnan as a cocky professor, Sarah Jessica Parker as a fashion talk show host, and Martin Short as the White House press secretary, are also highlights here.

Plot-wise, Mars Attacks! is pretty typical with a lot of the film focusing on determining whether or not the aliens are hostile or not. However, once they get their answer ("spoiler": they are going to attack), all hell breaks loose. Burton steps on the gas, pours fire on it, and laughs maniacally as the film spirals into control. With entertaining deaths, great one-liners and gags along the way ("they killed Congress!"), and fun action set pieces, Mars Attacks! embraces the absurdity and has a ton of fun with it. In particular, an encounter between Martin Short and an "attractive" alien is hysterical. Additionally, the running dialogue between Pierce Brosnan's severed head and Sarah Jessica Parker's head attached to a dog's body is both absurd and even more comical when considered in the context of the situation they find themselves in during the film.

With purposely cheap-looking aliens, the film reaches great heights as a spoof with oddly comical aliens that openly mock the science fiction genre and dedication put into making realistic looking aliens. Yet, in terms of spoofing the genre, its depiction of the United States is great. Dignified, advanced, and self-assured, the generals and President are quickly bamboozled by the aliens who use their own inventions as comedic tools (the translator running gag is great). Even better, the use of nuclear weapons being quickly embraced by the aliens is tremendous, as is the full-scale invasion of Washington DC, the use of the Washington monument, and the mayhem in the White House. All are uproariously absurd and keep making you wonder, "Did that really happen?", but the answer to this question is also, unequivocally, "Yes and it was glorious." By mocking the death of a useless Congress, the ineffectiveness of the nuclear bomb, the gung-ho general, and peace-loving President and Professor, Mars Attacks! really satirizes many elements of politics and it is hard to say what side the film comes down on. At the end of the day, both the pacifists and war advocates wound up dying. If anything, Mars Attacks! seems to say, "F*** it we all die anyways." In many ways, this is Burton simply criticizing and mocking us for our hypocrisy. As Nicholson's President preaches peace, we know that human nature swings in the exact opposite direction. Thus, it is time for us to be wiped out.

With gloriously terrible computer animation, hilarious dialogue, purposely awful music (that Grandma deserves the Congressional Medal of Honor for listening to that stuff), and a lively cast who deliver their lines with the right amount of cheese, Mars Attacks! is a great comedy film. Spoofing B-movies and 1950s paranoia-laced science fiction horror, Mars Attacks! demands that its audience be willing to go along with it throughout. This does not mean shutting off your brain or anything stupid like that. Rather, its brand of humor is all its own and requires that the audience just accept this oddity that will unfold and tries to enjoy the ride. As a result, Mars Attacks! is wildly divisive, but I found myself to be firmly residing in the "Yay" section.



6/10 - The Rock is one of Michael Bay's best works, though it does pale in comparison to his best film, Armageddon. Released two years prior to this peak, The Rock features a lot of positive elements. From spectacular action sequences, solid acting, and being gloriously over-the-top, the film has a bad ending that too fully embraces lunacy to feel appropriate. Featuring a cast led by Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, and Ed Harris, The Rock is hardly restrained and is in danger of careening off the edge throughout, but it remains a wildly entertaining and bombastic experience that highlights some of the best elements that Bay has to offer the world of cinema.

With masterfully shot action scenes, Bay graces the film with a style all his own and, though he indulges a bit too much in explosions, the film is still a great action movie. Throughout, Bay laces the film terrific tension as Dr. Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) and John Mason (Sean Connery) race through Alcatraz to try and save San Francisco from assured death at the hands of General Hummel (Ed Harris). In the scenes in Alcatraz, The Rock really soars with great tension, fun set pieces, and incredibly well shot action scenes. Here, Cage and Connery feed off of one another with great chemistry as the duo ham it up in this insane action movie. As the villain, Harris is oddly sympathetic. Hardly a killer in the vein of many movie villains, Harris merely wants recognition for his fallen comrades, not to kill thousands of people. A true leader, Harris' Hummel is a man who instills fear, but is well-developed enough to make him an admirable foe. Compared to modern action movies, creating a villain that is incredibly worthwhile and not just after world dominance sets The Rock apart and makes it a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Yet, aside from this, The Rock loses weight compared to a film such as Armageddon. Both show that Bay knows action, as all of his work honestly does. Armageddon, however, showed that he knew how to create pathos. Throughout, you root for the good guys for a variety of reasons and there are incredible stakes. The Rock does not boast this quality. It tries to create it with Dr. Goodspeed and his pregnant girlfriend or Mason and his adult daughter, but both fail. Neither woman is given enough screentime, Goodspeed's girlfriend is a moron and never in harm's way, and Mason's daughter comes and goes as quickly as a Michael Bay explosion. As such, The Rock has thrills and tension, but lacks an effective emotional edge to really given the film depth and punch. As a result, it is a largely hollow experience with very few lasting moments from the film.

More egregiously, the ending is nearly comical. Yes, the rest of the film is over-the-top and insane, but with the bombing of Alcatraz and the scene in the Church at the end, The Rock goes a little too crazy with the hilarity. In particular, the final line of the film and underlying element throughout regarding what Mason knew about top secret information hardly adds to the film and instead makes it an exercise in stupidity.

Fortunately though, The Rock remains action-packed with killer action sequences such as the one in the showers or the moment before with John Mason rolling through the flame throwers. Over-the-top and exaggerate, Bay shoots these moments with incredible style that leaves you wanting more and fully engaged in the sheer entertainment of the film. Throughout, Bay gets incredibly creative with a good backstory about the weapon. He also does add some depth story-wise with an appeal to recognize fallen soldiers and to step back from the ledge in regards to biochemical warfare. A worthy message, this film serves as a wake-up call as to what is possible if we lose our ethical mindsets.

Overall, The Rock is an entertaining film that stands amongst Michael Bay's best work. With campy performances, a great villain, and an interesting story with great action and tension, The Rock simply falls apart by lacking pathos and a suitable ending.



8/10 - I think I liked it? Easily described as love it or hate it, I did both during my viewing of Brian De Palma's Femme Fatale. I loved it in the beginning, lost it in the middle, came back around towards the end, lost it again, but then the final sequence convinced me I did enjoy the film. Now, these moments are not attributable to general flaws in the film. Definitely imperfect and highly flawed, Femme Fatale is simply just a cold and unwelcoming film. It slinks along and is both slow and precise, which makes it a hard film to fully appreciate in a single viewing. Yet, what is not hard to appreciate is a great De Palma mystery thriller with solid performances that keeps you guessing until the very end.

The greatest flaw in Femme Fatale is also the biggest spoiler, but it comes towards the end and definitely changes the perspective of the film. Here, much of the film seems to come together initially, but then back pedals and turns on its heels. As I always this kind of twist, the same applies here to Femme Fatale, which is unfortunate in an otherwise low-key and mysterious film that it would rely upon such a silly moment. Fortunately, it does turn around and return to being this mysterious film. With small details, terrific direction of the actors in terms of placing them in the frame and on the set, the final sequence is the highlight of the film. Bar none. Featuring De Palma's flair with big set pieces, this one has a lot of moving parts that come together poetically and make this third act come off with cinematic brilliance.

Not really featuring many notable tracking shots (obviously they are there, but none that really caught my eye as many of De Palma's tracking shots do), the film does feature a lot of split-screen. The other really notable tenant of any De Palma film, the split-screen is used heavily in this film and to exquisite effect. The split between Nicolas Bardo (Antonio Banderas) and our femme fatale Laure (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) as Bardo takes pictures of her while on his balcony is incredible. De Palma uses this twice to show Bardo on his balcony during the second act and then again towards the beginning of the third. Both are pure brilliance and just look phenomenal on the screen.

As for the plot, it is honestly convoluted and a lot of it seems incredibly fortunate/convenient (particularly events surrounding the "seven years later" element), but the film is not set in the real world by any means. In a way, it is sort of fantastical, highlighted by the stilted and awkward dialogue and performances. Banderas and Romijn-Stamos hardly act human in this film. They seem almost robotic or alien. This could be attributed to bad acting, but it does feel entirely purposeful when considered in the context of the final twist that I may not have liked, but does make sense. There is a reason why this film unrealistic and almost dream-like throughout and the acting contributes to this feeling. Yet, the mystery element here is in large due to Romijn-Stamos' performance. Inherently mysterious, her character leaves Bardo and the audience completely in the dark throughout. De Palma does not offer a helping hand and forces his audience to put it together themselves as to what is occurring. By the end, things begin to come together, extraneous moments are enveloped in the rest of the plot, and the film begins to make sense. However, you must be willing to put it together because it is quite convoluted and, as I said, De Palma offers no assistance.

Thrilling, mysterious, and entirely unique, Femme Fatale is an engaging, hard to crack, and completely compelling work by Brian De Palma. As with much of his work, it is incredibly divisive, yet has been praised by certain critics (Ebert) and for good reason. De Palma knows how to make a movie and how to keep an audience on the edge of their seat throughout. Though cold and convoluted, Femme Fatale is a worthy film, but only if you are willing to provide the warmth and attention it needs to make sense.



6/10 - A stirring romance film between a creepy stalker and an emotional mess, The Notebook is a film that needs no introduction. Everybody knows about The Notebook and a review will hardly convince you to change your stance. Personally, it was just fine. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams lack chemistry whatsoever and their section is entirely typical. However, the old people are tremendous and provide all of the spark this film needs and it is a shame that it focuses on the wrong story for much of the runtime. That said, Gosling and McAdams do turn in good performances, even if their part lacks fire or punch. Instead, it rides on cliches and turns in a bland romance billed as epic.

I love romance films. I honestly do like chick flicks too. Not in a guilty pleasure way either. I simply like good cinema. The genre does not matter. The target demographic does not matter. Thus, my mixed feelings towards The Notebook are not as a result of being a guy and not liking romance movies. Rather, it is how lazy the section with young Noah Calhoun (Gosling) and Allie Hamilton (McAdams) is and how much it could have been. Often, romance movies opt to have their couples "meet cute". The Notebook takes a unique approach and instead just as Noah awkwardkly threaten to kill himself if Allie did not go on a date with him and creepily stalk her around both a carnival and in the town. How charming. Like, I know it is Ryan Gosling, but this girl should be calling the cops before he sends her his ear as a gift. Oddly though, they are well-matched for one another. Both possessing a propensity for cheating on their significant others when apart, Allie is also incredibly flawed. Slapping Noah during fights, spazzing out randomly, falling apart emotionally regularly, and indecisive, Allie is hardly a catch herself. Like, I know it is Rachel McAdams, but this guy should probably be moving along. Fortunately, he is a creep and she is an oddly abusive and emotional drama queen. It is like a beautiful match made in heaven. In a nutshell, this film is, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

Fortunately, the section with the older version of the couple is breathtakingly emotional and tender. Love defined, this portion of the film is stunning. Starring James Garner as the older Noah and Gena Rowlands as the older Allie, the couple has incredible chemistry. Noah is now quite frail and had suffered multiple heart attacks in recent times. Allie has dementia and cannot remember Noah or their family. Yet, Noah does not give up and continues to read their story to her in order to help her remember him. The fleeting moments where she does are stunning. Chills, tears, and love, follow whenever they can hold each other and both know that they love one another. These moments are quickly followed up by Allie again forgetting and are powerful, emphasized by the tears in Noah's eyes as Allie gets covered in the fog once again. The ending may be a bit manipulative, but damn if it is not incredibly well-written and deserving of more screentime.

The other major plus here is Allie's mother, Ann Hamilton (Joan Allen). Though the situation her daughter found herself in is repugnant, the scene of Ann and Allie driving through South Carolina for Ann to help her daughter figure out what she wanted is great. Packed with emotion and terrific acting by Allen, this what-if scene of risky love versus safe love is powerful. While I did not identify with Allie's scenario, this moment and the emotional performance by Allen in this scene stand as a real highlight in the film.

It is fair to say I did not get what I expected from The Notebook. I figured the Gosling and McAdams portion would deliver the goods. Unfortunately, it was greatly disappointing. Though blessed with lush period detail and some great date scenes (laying in the road to watch the traffic light), this one is largely derailed by cliches and unethical characters. Yet, the portion of the older couple is profound and a thoroughly moving look at dementia, aging, and love through time. It is sad that The Notebook is not remembered for this section, which truly sets it apart from other chick flicks or romance films.



3/10 - David Lynch's Dune is simply not a good film. Though ambitious with its run time and wealth of information it tries to cram into it, Dune is a trainwreck. With ineffectual acting and a horrifically bad script, Dune was doomed to fail and not even David Lynch can save this picture from being nothing more than a mess of a film. That said, Dune is often hysterical. The terrible script lends itself to being so bad it is good throughout and, while an indictment of the quality of the film, it does allow it to be watchable. Otherwise though, Dune is a simply a really bad film that has very little offer for the "pro" column.

The worst portion of this film is the script. With stilted dialogue and the abhorrent decision to use the "inner voice" every five seconds, Dune is a mess of exposition and awkward dialogue. Yet, I would accept the exposition if it served a purpose. At the end of the day, it is all fluff and just a parallel to the story of Jesus Christ. Could you not have spared me all the extra information about this system and just cut to the chase? The inner voice does little but be hysterical, as characters often just repeat themselves or repeat earlier thoughts, as if the studio thought people were too dumb to get it, so they needed to add in this inner voice. When it comes to comedy, the inner voice definitely delivers though as it is truly hysterical whenever it comes up, which is often.

Featuring a large cast of characters, Dune loses track of who they all are and opts to just have the women look the same and opts to just not develop any of them. Even Paul (Kyle MacLachlan) is short-handed by the film essentially just saying, "So he is Jesus, that is pretty much it" and stopping there. The best inclusion is certainly the romance that comes from nowhere and jumps from them meeting to being in bed with no intermediate scene. It is easy to tell that this film stitched together in any order, regardless of it made sense. Thus, this is both a script and an editing issue as the film is spliced together and fails to tell a coherent story at all. This is not just typical Lynch weirdness either. His films are confusing and convoluted, but they have a purpose and do make sense if put under a microscope. If Dune were put under a microscope, it would look similar to an elementary student's artwork, just a mess of colors and various ideas that really do not flow together.

The film does not save itself with special effects either, as they seem almost intentionally bad. From comical looking creatures, weird skin diseases, and terrible worms, Dune does not look good at all. Its planet looks like a green screen and the objects in front of that green screen do not blend into it all. Dune's visuals are reminiscent of a 1950s film that features driving. The viewer knows they are just sitting in front a screen that awkwardly tries to simulate the driving experience. Here, Dune does not put you on the planet. Rather, it puts you in a studio and barely tries to hide this fact. Incredibly lazy, Dune honestly feels as though Lynch gave up and just took his hands off the wheel early on, allowing the madness to take it in whatever direction it preferred.

Comically bad, David Lynch's attempt at Dune just needs to be forgotten. I know the novel came out before Star Wars, but the film strikes as if the studio just saw Star Wars and thought, "Hey! Let's do that." Unfortunately, it lacks intrigue, characters, a capable script, special effects, or tension. Instead, it just floats by and leaves after two hours. Fortunately, it is a great film to watch in order to just mock it because the script is just that bad.



7/10 - The first Zack Snyder film I have enjoyed and it is largely because it is not his typical brand of childish filmmaking. Not just a film where he smashes toys together and laughs maniacally like a seven year old, Snyder is largely restrained here. Instead, it just plays like a typical zombie movie and, in that regard, it is a pretty good film. Tense, thrilling, and truly entertaining, Dawn of the Dead gets a little dead in the middle, but its beginning and conclusion are both terrific and laced with moments that pushed me right to the edge of my seat.

From the beginning, we are introduced to Ana Clark (Sarah Polley). Set to experience the zombie apocalypse first hand, Ana somehow manages to escape the clutches of the zombies in her home and find other survivors. Together, they migrate to the Crossroads Mall, where they find shelter with other survivors. Once there, they bring in more survivors and discover cliche things about zombies, such as being bitten turns you into one and to kill them, you must shoot them in the head. Hardly revolutionary in this, Dawn of the Dead does hit the brakes once they get to the mall and instead opts to show these "revelations" and show the people passing time. Yet, what is exhilarating is whenever they encounter zombies. Heart racing and action-packed in these moments, Dawn of the Dead shows that Snyder knows how direct thrilling scenes and create a great atmosphere that leaves on edge. Whether it is early or late in the film, moments with the zombies are always great.

Yet, the film does do some very interesting things. Not only is there a zombie baby, which just has to be unique to this film, and an inventive way of escaping, Dawn of the Dead features incredibly smart characters. Knowing their situation is hopeless, the characters cut the weak links down and do what they can to survive. There are very few stupid actions (other than Natalie going for Chips), but these are hardly prevalent and do actually get worked into the film pretty nicely. The inventive solution to get away, though silly on the surface, is a very good addition to this film and makes it feel somewhat unique. Instead of taking a final stand or having some cure occur, Dawn of the Dead let's its characters figure out an escape route themselves.

The film, as an action film, is incredibly entertaining. With great tension and good action set pieces, Snyder's typically strong visual style is somewhat here as watching zombies get their brains shot out has never really looked so nice. The zombie design is very good and the film's inventive plot solution comes through in nice action set pieces and an interesting design on the escape vehicle that really give the film a unique edge that make it compelling.

However, the film does have some problems. Its wide range of characters are pretty awful. None of them really grab you and pull you in, rather it is just a collection of white people and a couple black guys fighting some zombies. The characters are never differentiated from one another in a significant fashion and, as such, they sort of just blend together. The film's plot also loses steam in the middle when Snyder just shows a montage of the characters engaging in sex, talk about gay relationships, and playing golf. Now, I did see the director's cut, so this may not apply to the theatrical cut. These moments just exist to pass time and do not advance the plot at all (and not just because I could tell which girl had sex since the white blonde girls look similar here at times, though I think the guy was Ty Burrell maybe). Just excessive and doing really nothing the momentum of the plot, these moments are an unfortunate addition to an otherwise tight film. It also feels odd due to the inclusion of a pastor speaking about why this is happening and blaming it on various sins. By including them, it feels as though Snyder is being a bit of his childish self as the pastor is just there to be mocked and have that same sin rubbed back in his face. Whether you agree with it or not, this moment does feel kind of awkward and useless for the rest of the film.

Fortunately, Dawn of the Dead is an action-packed and thrilling experience. With good special effects and thrilling moments a plenty, Dawn of the Dead defines the hopelessness of the genre (especially with the ending), but also shows the power of teamwork. I just wish that people in zombie movies had seen at least one zombie movie in their life so we can skip past the "you have to shoot them in the head" and "if you get bitten you turn into a zombie" moments that are in each of these films.

10/10 - Postmodernism is a film theory that suggests that there is nothing original anymore. If it could be made, it has been made and we are doomed to simply remake a once original idea in perpetuity. Postmodernism also includes ideas regarding nostalgia and hyperreality, positing that cities such as Los Angeles may physically be real, but are in fact, dream worlds that are not actually there. In Damien Chazelle's latest work and, dare I say already, his magnum opus, La La Land, this theory takes center stage. Presenting a world of nostalgia of past love, of old Hollywood, and of jazz, La La Land takes place in the hyperreality of Los Angeles. Though undeniably a celebration of the past and showcasing Chazelle's admiration for old school filmmaking, La La Land is also a critique of nostalgia and postmodernism.

To critique and subvert rules, however, you must understand them. You must embrace them and then tear them apart at the seams so that may no longer be put together. In the first half of the film, Chazelle does exactly this. With large, kinetic, and detailed choreography and musical scenes, the opening sequence is straight out of 1940s/1950s Hollywood with the golden age of MGM. On the wall of Mia Dolan's (Emma Stone) bedroom is a poster of Ingrid Bergman. Another poster in the common area of her apartment has a movie poster featuring John Lancaster and Ava Gardner. Mia works in the Warner Bros. lot across the street from where Casablanca was shot. She and Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) have a first date watching Rebel Without a Cause at an old school moviehouse that uses film. The scene of Mia and her roommates strutting down the road is colorful, bombastic, and embraces the vibrancy of old school musicals. La La Land, right down to the details, is about old Hollywood. Similarly, it is about old school Jazz. Sebastian, a piano player, loves jazz and its history. He dreams of opening a jazz club honoring Charlie Parker in its title and replacing the bastardization of the music he loves with its pure past. With bright spotlights, a deep blue hue to the scene, and gorgeous suits, Sebastian's every look and action embraces the history of jazz. The film lush, jazzy score in these moments and its nostalgic song "City of Stars" embrace this world. Yet, both old Hollywood and old school jazz are merely a mirage now. "City of Stars" - a beautifully written and composed piece of music - is dreamy in its melody. It glides by and paints a gorgeous picture of a world that does not exist. This applies to the elements that celebrated here by Chazelle. They are in the past, though they can still be loved, they are not to be emulated.

In creating this world initially though, Chazelle strictly follows postmodernism. He uses Los Angeles' hyperreality to create dream sequences that play out in real life. From Mia and Sebastian tap dancing with a view of the city beneath them or them floating up into the stars in an observatory, Chazelle highlights the city's dream-like state of being. During the entirety of the film, the city has a blue filter over it and the end result is that it feels distant and otherworldly. It never feels attainable and - in the minds of Mia, Sebastian, and the audience - the city exists solely in our dreams. And boy do our couple ever dream. Both have huge dreams and, initially, they encourage one another to follow these dreams. Mia follows her acting dream by writing her own one-woman play. Sebastian joins a band in order to raise funds. However, their obsession with the past tears them down. Mia fails. Her play is a failure and no one attends. Her only hope is a TV show that mixes Dangerous Minds with The OC and bears no resemblance to the old Hollywood style of filmmaking she so adores. Sebastian plays music in a band with a guy he hates as the lead singer and music that betrays the soul of the jazz music he loves. Both have sold out and have careened off course. Why? Because of the nostalgia. They became so infatuated with their love of the past, they tried to live it and become a part of the past. Unfortunately, time travel does not yet exist and this is impossible. Times change and things move forward. If you move to the past, you will be left behind in favor of the future. Here, nostalgia can be a destructive force and serves only to distract one from moving forward and attacking life. For Mia and Sebastian, their love of the past distracted them from their goals and, instead of working towards those goals, their reverse focus led to them walking backwards away from their goals.

Their relationship even falls into this nostalgia, as evidenced by the very end. Chazelle breaks up the film into seasons, beginning with winter. Here, Mia and Sebastian are incredibly cold to one another and barely know each other. By spring, things heat up and begin to simmer. In summer, their love is brimming with happiness and joy. It is contagious and impossible to look away from. However, by fall, things have cooled off. They detest one another practically and see the other as holding them back from achieving their true dreams. This ultimately leads to them breaking up and going their separate ways. Yet, it has greater significance. In this portion of the film, Sebastian leaves the band. The movie theater that showed Rebel Without a Cause has closed. The Ingrid Bergman poster is crumpled on the floor. The past has been left behind and it is time to focus up and move forward. It is time to jump into the cold river without socks, even if it hurts and leaves you feeling sick as a result. Nostalgia can be a beautiful thing. Past love is a part of you and will be forever. Old Hollywood is glorious. Jazz can be a moving and absorbing experience. Yet, they are not that present. Nostalgia can distort this and make it feel as though it still exists and was better than it truly was, covering up all the blemishes. This is highlighted in the final sequence. Now married and a famous actress, Mia and her husband wind up in Sebastian's jazz club. Upon hearing him play a note she heard him play when she first lay eyes on him, Mia is transported back into the dream world. Trading the hyperreality of Los Angeles for the hyperreality of Paris, the couple takes the city by storm and dances once more in an expressionist interpretation of the stars. Sebastian never joins the band. Mia's play is a success. However, none of this is real. Had it been real, it would have led them in different directions. Sebastian was in the band when they were together. Mia's play was not a success. However, once they broke up, Sebastian became a club owner as he had always dreamed. Mia became a famous actress and had a child. Nostalgia for each other, the good times, and the past that they had romanticized, had been a detrimental force in their lives and, to me, this is the ultimate message Chazelle is trying to communicate. After her vision and transportation into a dream world, Mia quickly leaves the club, afraid of falling back into the trappings of nostalgia. Chazelle's film may often appear to be celebrating and embracing old Hollywood (and it certainly does), but it is not old Hollywood. Chazelle introduces phones, ditches the large musical numbers for more low-key numbers, and separates his lovers rather than putting them together at the end. Not only does this subvert the very genre he embraces at the beginning of the film, but it serves as a warning to fellow filmmakers and dreamers alike. You may love the past, but you cannot be it, so stop trying. If you become too focused on becoming the past, you will wind up a never been and die a dreamer. Success only finds those who blaze their own trail and following their dreams when nobody is following them. Originality is not dead, as suggested by postmodernism and there are still stories to tell. Movies may be a dream world and Los Angeles may not exist, but the past is the past and there is still time to create the future.

However, La La Land hardly only exists on a thematic plane. Visually, the film is stunning. When it opts to embrace the musical element, the choreography is breathtaking. The costumes, the production design, and the extravagance of it all is awe-inspiring and precise to the very last detail. The use of color is incredible with Chazelle largely working with a palette of red, blue, green, yellow, and pink. All incredibly vibrant throughout and contributing to the kinetic and magical feeling of the film as a whole, the color scheme is simply incredibly visually alluring. Chazelle certainly plays into this with many scenes containing all five or, in the case of a few shots where the camera spins violently around the room, blend together. La La Land is a film about many things, but one of them is most certainly color.

On a more upfront level, La La Land still remains perfect. With brilliant lead performances from Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, who have great chemistry as always, La La Land creates terrific characters who are enjoyable to watch and multi-dimensional. The film's production design, costume design, and makeup/hairstyling, are all perfect and highlight the beauty of its leads, its nostalgic setting, and its narrative. Musically, La La Land is top-notch. With many classic melodies played throughout the film, Chazelle largely uses music that contributes both to the nostalgia and the magical dream world he has created in this film. Just as Mia is transported to a nostalgic world where she and Sebastian wound up together and everything was great, the audience is transported through the music. With the brilliant original song "City of Stars", Chazelle creates a song that is entirely modern, yet feels nostalgic and, as such, transports the audience to a bygone era that solely exists in our minds.

A subversion of musicals, a celebration of the past, and a critique of nostalgia, Damien Chazelle's La La Land is a masterpiece. End of story. There will not be a film released this year that is better than it and it is not even close. The best film of 2016 by a country mile, La La Land is a gorgeously crafted, smart, and subversive film with phenomenal direction, great acting, and is a chaotically beautiful film.

prob not gunna watch La La Land as not a fan of musicals. Understand why some1 would rate Sausage Party 1/10. Lights Out best horror movie dis year tbh.

wow dont have a rogue one review ready to go....



you suck

Originally posted by BasedMinkus@Dec 16 2016, 11:56 PM
wow dont have a rogue one review ready to go....



you suck

Pretty sure Spangs didnt watch star wars until dis thread tbh

Originally posted by ThatDamnMcJesus@Dec 17 2016, 12:56 AM
prob not gunna watch La La Land as not a fan of musicals. Understand why some1 would rate Sausage Party 1/10. Lights Out best horror movie dis year tbh.

No offense but fuck that. If you like movies at all or have dreams, watch La La Land. It is not an out-and-out musical (aside from the beginning). Plus, it may be a musical, but you should always be open to trying out genres that may not necessarily appeal to you. It is cliche to say, but it is good to step out of your comfort zone. La La Land is phenomenal and should not be skipped because "oh I hate musicals".

Originally posted by BasedMinkus@Dec 17 2016, 12:56 AM
wow dont have a rogue one review ready to go....



you suck

Nah. La La Land >>>>>>>

I was never going to watch Rogue One now when it came out against La La Land.

Originally posted by ThatDamnMcJesus@Dec 16 2016, 10:00 PM


Pretty sure Spangs didnt watch star wars until dis thread tbh

Maybe. It's okay cuz ive never seen a LotR film.


I really liked Rogue One. Good story, not too overdone and probably the best acting of a star wars film (although I don't think that is saying much)

Originally posted by BasedMinkus@Dec 17 2016, 01:03 AM


Maybe. It's okay cuz ive never seen a LotR film.


I really liked Rogue One. Good story, not too overdone and probably the best acting of a star wars film (although I don't think that is saying much)

Considering that Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher have the combined acting talent of a ham sandwich, no it's not. That said, I do love Felicity Jones and Forest Whitaker. I guess I'll probably see it next week at some point