<div align="center">A new Wolf in New England? </div>
Mid-day yesterday the SHL and mainly the Admirals were floored by the announcement of Chris Crutchfield deciding to sign with the New England Wolfpack. The Admirals had recently paid a hefty sum for the rights to the free agent defender. According to Kyle Wahlgren all signs were pointing to Crutchfield signing up with Portland. Until reported “Turmoil†struck, Crutchfield did not provide any specifics to the incident, but cited it as a reason for signing up with the Pack. The other reasons he cited were winning championships and the HoF.
Here at the SMJHL Gazette we feel like all of these reasons sound a little fishy. Exhibit A would be, that Portland has had great playoff success making the challenge cup the last two seasons. Secondly he would have had more opportunity on Portland, he would have been the man, instead in NEW he will slot into the 2nd or 3rd defender role. Bold prediction alert – Chris Crutchfield sees a decline in his numbers with this move to New England.
In other news the Wolfpack also signed veteran Ales Smirnov – both these signings signal a change in the long time Wolfpack culture, which forever was fun over winning. Albeit they have had their share of winning be one of the most decorated teams in recent memory along with the Dragons. Either way – Eastern Conference you’re on notice the Wolfpack just got even better.
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#BRAND-Izzy to Acquire Big Baller Brand</div>
<div align="left">In the weirdest news of this morning it appears that #BRAND-Izzy and LaVar Ball of Big Baller Brand have reached a deal with Big Baller Brand. The 3B brand had reported been asking for a billion dollar deal (yes, with a “Bâ€) for rights to the company’s logo, and line of apparel. Major shoe manufacturer Nike was the first to scoff at this deal, commenting on the design of the 3B first shoe offering. One Nike executive was on quoted on record saying “Don’t old people shoes usually come with Velcro? I feel like LaVar and his design team missed on theseâ€. Other big players in the athletic shoe brand Adidas, and Under Armour also turned up their nose to the 3B brand. Puma was reportedly interested which would of probably been a good look for them, because while the 3B shoes are ugly they would fit in nicely with the other hideousness that Puma offers.
Rumors have been swirling that the mastermind behind #BRAND-Izzy @(coach biz) has big plans for these shoes, and will be able to agree to the billion dollar price tag on a few conditions. The first big change will be removing LaVar Ball from the CEO position of the company, next they will spruce up the logo design with a fresh as fuck #BRAND-Izzy logo. Lastly and probably the most logical reason this deal went through was the decision to transfer to this shoe to a different market segment. The shoe will now be advertised as a high end bowling shoe, the marketing geniuses at #BRAND-Izzy were quoted in some dingy bar last week. “The shoes in the bowling segment are hideous, this shoe is already a step up, and once we make a few design tweaks this shoe will be in every Brunswick Bowling country across the Midwest.â€</div>
<div align="left">The S36 Class is a smaller class, but it is still packed with top tier talent, the type of talent that we will be talking about in the SHL in the near future. Names like Rockefeller, Barbashev, Biscuit, Ryder the Barlow Brothers headline the draft but you don’t need to look much further to see a plethora of budding talent. This week we will be highlighting one player who should be shooting up the SMJHL draft boards, and for good reason. Shaun Stephens the Swiss Sniper is a name you can guarantee to be drafted by the end of the first round. Stephens is no stranger to being an underdog as he had never stepped onto the ice until the age of 9. By his own admission he wasn’t blessed with the intangibles and natural skill some of the other kids had.
He did possess the most sought after intangible, and the one that most kids with natural skill lack – heart. Heart gives you the motivation to improve, grinding out every practice, taking extra shots, basically living on the ice. Things didn’t come easy as he was refining his craft as a sniper, he took a lot of bumps and bruises before blossoming into his 6’2†195 frame. You can see the time he spend studying skilled puck handlers like Bure, and Datysuk as glimpses of these greats shine through on his game. Speaking of his game this Swiss snipers wrist shot is cheese and there’s no holes in his game. It should be interesting to see where he lands, but wherever it is, goalies beware.</div>
<div align="center">Beaujeaux’s Bad Joke Bazaar</div>
I have a fear of speed bumps….. I’m slow getting over them.
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
You know why people who live around a cemetery aren’t allowed to be buried there?
Because they’re not dead yet.
Quote:Originally posted by tweedlebrumm@Aug 3 2017, 12:49 PM <div align="center">
In the weirdest news of this morning it appears that #BRAND-Izzy and LaVar Ball of Big Baller Brand have reached a deal with Big Baller Brand. The 3B brand had reported been asking for a billion dollar deal (yes, with a “Bâ€) for rights to the company’s logo, and line of apparel. Major shoe manufacturer Nike was the first to scoff at this deal, commenting on the design of the 3B first shoe offering. One Nike executive was on quoted on record saying “Don’t old people shoes usually come with Velcro? I feel like LaVar and his design team missed on theseâ€. Other big players in the athletic shoe brand Adidas, and Under Armour also turned up their nose to the 3B brand. Puma was reportedly interested which would of probably been a good look for them, because while the 3B shoes are ugly they would fit in nicely with the other hideousness that Puma offers.
Rumors have been swirling that the mastermind behind #BRAND-Izzy @(coach biz) has big plans for these shoes, and will be able to agree to the billion dollar price tag on a few conditions. The first big change will be removing LaVar Ball from the CEO position of the company, next they will spruce up the logo design with a fresh as fuck #BRAND-Izzy logo. Lastly and probably the most logical reason this deal went through was the decision to transfer to this shoe to a different market segment. The shoe will now be advertised as a high end bowling shoe, the marketing geniuses at #BRAND-Izzy were quoted in some dingy bar last week. “The shoes in the bowling segment are hideous, this shoe is already a step up, and once we make a few design tweaks this shoe will be in every Brunswick Bowling country across the Midwest.â€</div>
Good Evening,
While i cant fully comment on these discussions... my chief of suspicious endeavours Jason Visser will be the contact person on this matter.
tweedlebrumm
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