I have very close, personal relationships with all of my teammates but one of my closest and most sensual relationships is with the very sexual Cash Savage. One of his funniest things to do involves an endoscope, two lobsters and spicy pepper jelly.

Kevin Maddox | D | Colorado Raptors | 350 TPE

Rafe Ulrich and I get along well, whenever I need someone to lift or move heavy objects for me - I ask Rafe to come help out. For example last week someone had parked on my spot, so I called Rafe to come and move the car. He just pushed it a side, he is that strong. Could have just driven it to another spot since it was his car, but I was impressed.

Free agent
Updates

In the past season, Zach Evans has spent a considerable amount of time hanging out with Maurizio Arrivabene. While they have been teammates for several years and are both former Falcons, the two started spending more time together when they were placed on the same line for Season 41, building chemistry and scheming of new ways to make fun of Pietra Volkova.

Zach Evans || Forward || Winnipeg Jets Name: Zach Evans Height: 6'1" Weight: 195 lbs Number: 18 ------------------------------------------------------------ SHL Career Statistics: S32 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 9, A: 5, P: 14, +/-: -1, PIMS: 12, H: 59 S33 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 8, A: 15, P: 23, +/-: 3, PIMS: 49, H: 106 S34 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 14, A: 14, P: 28, +/-: 7, PIMS: 46, H: 96 S35 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 22, A: 26, P: 48, +/-: -4, PIMS: 23, H: 113 S36 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 28, A: 30, P: 58, +/-: 23, PIMS: 51, H: 140 S37 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 24, A: 27, P: 51, +/-: 2, PIMS: 36, H: 220 S38 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 27. A: 38, P: 65, +/-: 12, PIMS: 45, H: 158 S39 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 15, A: 32, P: 47, +/-: 11, PIMS: 43, H: 85 S40 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 22, A: 31, P: 53, +/-: 11, PIMS: 15, H: 49 S41 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 27, A: 35, P: 62, +/-: 26, PIMS: 34, H: 82 S42 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 16, A: 29, P: 45, +/-: -3, PIMS: 15, H: 6 S43 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 16, A: 29, P: 45, +/-: 11, PIMS: 27, H: 15 S44 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 14, A: 31, P: 45, +/-: 3, PIMS: 17, H: 17 S45 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 15, A: 34, P: 49, +/-: 4, PIMS: 2, H: 27 CAREER: GP: 700, G: 257, A: 376, P: 633, +/-: 105, PIMS: 415, H: 1,173 ------------------------------------------------------------ SHL Playoff Statistics: S34 (WPG): GP: 5, G: 2, A: 1, P: 3, +/-: 0, PIMS: 4, H: 7 S36 (WPG): GP: 6, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIMS: 0, H: 16 S37 (WPG): GP: 18, G: 11, A: 14, P: 25, +/-: 19, PIMS: 12, H: 81 S38 (WPG): GP: 13, G: 6, A: 9, P: 15, +/-: 5, PIMS: 4, H: 32 S39 (WPG): GP: 13, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: -2, PIMS: 6, H: 31 S40 (WPG): GP: 14, G: 5, A: 4, P: 9, +/-: 1, PIMS: 13, H: 7 S41 (WPG): GP: 13, G: 8, A: 6, P: 14, +/-: 3, PIMS: 9, H: 26 S43 (WPG): GP: 17, G: 4, A: 9, P: 13, +/-: 11, PIMS: 2, H: 4 S44 (WPG): GP: 18, G: 4, A: 15, P: 19, +/-: 7, PIMS: 0, H: 3 S45 (WPG): GP: 4, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIMS: 0, H: 2 CAREER: GP: 121, G: 46, A: 69, P: 115, +/-: 41, PIMS: 50, H: 209 ------------------------------------------------------------ SMJHL Career Statistics: S30 (DET): GP: 50, G: 16, A: 12, P: 28, +/-: 8, PIMS: 10, H: 44 S31 (DET): GP: 50, G: 15, A: 23, P: 38, +/-: -2, PIMS: 35, H: 84 CAREER: GP: 100, G: 31, A: 35, P: 66, +/-: 6, PIMS: 45, H: 128 ------------------------------------------------------------ SMJHL Playoff Statistics: S30 (DET): GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIMS: 2, H: 0 S31 (DET): GP: 13, G: 5, A: 7, P: 12, +/-: 3, PIMS: 0, H: 9 CAREER: GP: 18, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: 2, PIMS: 2, H: 9 ------------------------------------------------------------ IIHF Statistics (Russia): S30: GP: 11, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIMS: 0, H: 7 S32: GP: 13, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -4, PIMS: 4, H: 17 S33: GP: 11, G: 3, A: 6, P: 9, +/-: 5, PIMS: 4, H: 12 S34: GP: 11, G: 6, A: 2, P: 8, +/-: 2, PIMS: 2, H: 10 S35: GP: 13, G: 5, A: 4, P: 9, +/-: 4, PIMS: 18, H: 22 S36: GP: 11, G: 4, A: 3, P: 7, +/-: -3, PIMS: 2, H: 5 S37: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: 0, PIMS: 0, H: 8 S38: GP: 13, G: 3, A: 10, P: 13, +/-: 8, PIMS: 4, H: 5 S39: GP: 10, G: 6, A: 6, P: 12, +/-: 1, PIMS: 2, H: 11 S40: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -6, PIMS: 2, H: 8 S41: GP: 11, G: 4, A: 5, P: 9, +/-: 0, PIMS: 2, H: 7 S42: GP: 10, G: 5, A: 9, P: 14, +/-: 5, PIMS: 0, H: 1 S43: GP: 13, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 6, PIMS: 0, H: 0 S44: GP: 10, G: 4, A: 8, P: 12, +/-: 1, PIMS: 0, H: 0 S45: GP: 10, G: 6, A: 1, P: 7, +/-: -13, PIMS: 0, H: 2 CAREER: GP: 167 G: 54, A: 65, P: 119, +/-: 5, PIMS: 40, H: 105 ------------------------------------------------------------ Transactions and Awards: Drafted 25th overall by Detroit, S30 SMJHL Entry Draft S30 Vyacheslav Onoprienko Trophy Winner Drafted 5th overall by Winnipeg, S31 SHL Entry Draft S32 Oriens Trophy Winner (Co-GM, Detroit) S32 IIHF Bronze Medalist S36 SHL Second-Team All-Star S37 Challenge Cup Champion S38 Sergei Karpotsov Trophy Winner S38 SHL First-Team All-Star S38 Sarmad Khan Trophy Winner S38 Jeff Dar Trophy Winner S38 Damian Littleton Trophy Winner S38 IIHF Gold Medalist S43 IIHF Silver Medalist S44 Challenge Cup Champion Inducted into SHL Hall of Fame, S47 ------------------------------------------------------------ Two things are infinite.
Nikolai Evans || Defenseman || HAM/TBB/TEX Name: Nikolai Evans Height: 6'2" Weight: 210 lbs Number: 19 ------------------------------------------------------------ SHL Career Statistics: S47 (HAM): GP: 50, G: 1, A: 10, P: 11, +/-: -4, SB: 39, H: 32 S48 (HAM): GP: 50, G: 5, A: 9, P: 14, +/1: 6, SB: 57, H: 37 S49 (TBB): GP: 50, G: 9, A: 14, P: 23, +/-: -22, SB: 78, H: 51 S50 (TBB): GP: 50, G: 7, A: 20, P: 27, +/-: 4, SB: 64, H: 39 CAREER: GP: 200, G: 22, A: 53, P: 75, +/-: -16, SB: 238, H: 159 ------------------------------------------------------------ SHL Playoff Statistics: S48 (HAM): GP: 5, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -1, SB: 6, H: 3 S49 (TBB): GP: 12, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 0, SB: 20, H: 8 S50 (TBB): GP: 19, G: 5, A: 7, P: 12, +/-: 1, SB: 29, H: 6 CAREER: GP: 36, G: 6, A: 12, P: 18, +/-: 0, SB: 55, H: 17 ------------------------------------------------------------ SMJHL Career Statistics: S45 (MTL): GP: 50, G: 7, A: 13, P: 20, +/-: -1, SB: 60, H: 25 S46 (MTL/HFX): GP: 50, G: 7, A: 20, P: 27, +/-: -1, SB: 47, H: 68 CAREER: GP: 100, G: 14, A: 33, P: 47, +/-: -2, SB: 107, H: 93 ------------------------------------------------------------ SMJHL Playoff Statistics: S45 (MTL): GP: 6, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: -1, SB: 7, H: 4 S46 (HFX): GP: 13, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -4, SB: 18, H: 14 CAREER: GP: 19, G: 5, A: 5, P: 10, +/-: -5, SB: 25, H: 18 ------------------------------------------------------------ IIHF Statistics (Russia): S45: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -5, SB: 12, H: 2 S46: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, SB: 11, H: 2 S47: GP: 12, G: 2, A: 7, P: 9, +/-: 2, SB: 17, H: 12 S48: GP: 12, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: -6, SB: 22, H: 0 S49: GP: 15, G: 6, A: 6, P: 12, +/-: -6, SB: 25, H: 7 CAREER: GP: 61, G: 10, A: 19, P: 29, +/-: -17, SB: 87, H: 23 ------------------------------------------------------------ WJC Statistics: S44 (World): GP: 15, G: 6, A: 7, P: 13, +/-: 8, SB: 18, H: 13 S45 (Russia): GP: 22, G: 2, A: 10, P: 12, +/-: -13, SB: 33, H: 14 S46 (Russia): GP: 28, G: 9, A: 15, P: 23, +/-: 0, SB: 26, H: 14 CAREER: GP: 55, G: 17, A: 32, P: 48, +/-: -5, SB: 77, H: 41 ------------------------------------------------------------ Transactions and Awards: Drafted 1st overall by Montreal, S45 SMJHL Entry Draft Drafted 1st overall by Hamilton, S46 SHL Entry Draft Traded to Halifax Raiders during S46 SMJHL season Traded to Tampa Bay Barracuda prior to S49 SHL season S48 Fantasy Global Champion S50 Mathias Chouinard Trophy Winner I'll finish updating this at some point ------------------------------------------------------------ The Russian Prince
Zdenko Beranek || Winger || Quebec City Citadelles Name: Zdenko Beranek Height: 5'10" Weight: 175 lbs Number: 27 ------------------------------------------------------------ SMJHL Career Statistics: S55 (QCC): GP: 50, G: 6, A: 15, P: 21, +/-: -22, PIMS: 6 S56 (QCC): GP: 50, G: 10, A: 27, P: 37, +/-: 9, PIMS: 20 ------------------------------------------------------------ Transactions and Awards: Drafted 1st overall by Quebec City, S55 SMJHL Entry Draft Drafted 18th overall by Seattle, S56 SHL Entry Draft ------------------------------------------------------------ Le Petite Chèvre

My go to teammate for a laugh has to be Theodors Cukurs. Theo is hilarious and most of us just make jokes about being Russian. We have been doing it so much that he just accepts it and becomes the potat god in the locker room

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!
Teddy Cuddles  |  RW  | Edmonton Blizzard | Hall of Fame Player Type : Two Way Forward Height: 6'5" | Weight: 220 lbs | Age: 19 Number: 79 Birthplace: Providence, Rhode Island, USA -------------------------------------------------------------- Regular Season Stats : S35 | STL | GP:28 | G:2 | A:1 | P:3 | PIMs:5 | HIT:7 | Shots:25 | +/-:-4 S36 | STL | GP:50 | G:10 | A:10 | P:20 | PIMs:5 | HIT:97 | Shots:88 | +/-:-1 S37 | STL | GP:50 | G:13 | A:27 | P:40 | PIMs:56 | HIT:120| Shots:146 | +/-:+10 S38 | EDM | GP:50 | G:6 | A:7 | P:13 | PIMs:62 | HIT:114 | Shots:83 | +/-:-18 S39 | EDM | GP:50 | G:7 | A:15 | P:22 | PIMs:36 | HIT:161 | Shots:78 | +/-:-10 S40 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:29 | P:42 | PIMs:46 | HIT:197 | Shots:109 | +/-:+7 S41 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:17 | P:34 | PIMs:49 | HIT:143 | Shots:121 | +/-:-4 S42 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:24 | P:41 | PIMs:52 | HIT:135 | Shots:132 | +/-:+9 S43 | EDM | GP:50 | G:14 | A:23 | P:37 | PIMs:24 | HIT:121 | Shots:121 | +/-:-2 S44 | EDM | GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | PIMs:28 | HIT:131 | Shots:214 | +/-:+19 S45 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:24 | P:37 | PIMs:51 | HIT:170 | Shots:185 | +/-:+9 S46 | EDM | GP:50 | G:29 | A:31 | P:60 | PIMs:53 | HIT:152 | Shots:195 | +/-:+9 S47 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:33 | P:50 | PIMs:46 | HIT:182 | Shots:199 | +/-:+8 S48 | EDM | GP:50 | G:22 | A:23 | P:45 | PIMs:26 | HIT:182 | Shots:210 | +/-:+7 S49 | EDM | GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | PIMs:36 | HIT:149 | Shots:208 | +/-:+1 -------------------------------------------------------------- Post Season Stats : S35 | STL | GP:7 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:0 | HIT:2 | Shots:4 | +/-:+1 S36 | STL | GP:6 | G:1 | A:1 | P:2 | PIMs:7 | HIT:14 | Shots:12 | +/-:+3 S37 | STL | GP:13 | G:4 | A:5 | P:9 | PIMs:26 | HIT:26 | Shots:30 | +/-:+7 S38 | EDM | Did not qualify S39 | EDM | GP:7 | G:3 | A:3 | P:6 | PIMs:4 | HIT:18 | Shots:10 | +/-:+1 S40 | EDM | GP:7 | G:1 | A:6 | P:7 | PIMs:4 | HIT:33 | Shots:15 | +/-:+2 S41 | EDM | GP:7 | G:2 | A:3 | P:5 | PIMs:12 | HIT:15 | Shots:15 | +/-:+1 S42 | EDM | GP:11 | G:5 | A:8 | P:13 | PIMs:10 | HIT:25 | Shots:38 | +/-:+1 S43 | EDM | Did not Qualify S44 | EDM | GP:11 | G:4 | A:7 | P:11 | PIMs:12 | HIT:31 | Shots:42 | +/-:+3 S45 | EDM | GP:18 | G:7 | A:11 | P:18 | PIMs:24 | HIT:56 | Shots:68 | +/-:+8 S46 | EDM | GP:4 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:2 | HIT:9 | Shots:11 | +/-:-5 S47 | EDM | GP:6 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | PIMs:6 | HIT:24 | Shots:25 | +/-:+2 S48 | EDM | GP:5 | G:2 | A:2 | P:4 | PIMs:0 | HIT:11 | Shots:19 | +/-:0 S49 | EDM | GP:23 | G:7 | A:17 | P:24 | PIMs:18 | HIT:76 | Shots:89 | +/-:-2 -------------------------------------------------------------- Awards and Achievements: S37 | STL Kanye Summers Award for Regular Season Team MVP S37 | STL Bradley Wingels Award for Best Forward S40 | Gold Medal Winner S40 | Aidan Richan Trophy Winner S44 | Became 4th player in Edmonton Blizzard History to reach 1000 Hits S45 | Challenge Cup Champion S45 | Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP S45 | Silver Medal Winner S46 | 1st Team All Star S46 | Sarmad Kahn Nominee S46 | Jef Darr Nominee S47 | Jef Darr Nominee S49 | Challenge Cup Champion S49 | Anton Razov Nominee -------------------------------------------------------------- Draft/Signing/Trade History: S35 | Signed to STL S36 | Drafted to Calgary 26th overall S36 | Traded to Edmonton
Ambacas “Femboy Hooters” Cuddles | D | Tampa Bay Barracuda
Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

Nova and Thorstein have good chemistry on and off the ice, theyre like peanut butter and jelly. When <a href='index.php?showuser=2470' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-45'>dnL</a> and i did the team scouting report on our Chiefs teammates... he made my boring ass report entertaining and funny af.. i couldnt stop laughing

Doubt is a dream killer

We may have gone separate ways since our rookie season when Kire Yelkrab and Manuel Gotze took the league by storm. However, I will always cherish our time and crazy drinking escapades in Colorado, and look forward to having a friendly rivalry in the SHL.

Conklin Owen has been hanging out with Hermanis Villy a lot lately. Hermanis doesn't really say a whole lot, but when he does open his mouth, it's always something hilarious that's coming out of it.

The other day, they were in McDonalds, a rarity for both- but they were treating themselves to some chicken nuggets, because they're the best garbage food out there. So these to HUGE peoplehad cashed out just in front of them, and Villy says "I bet he has to roll her in flower to find the wet spot when they're in bed". Owen immediately dispensed his freshly sipped pop through his nose as a result. Fuckin' guy.

Conklin Owen | LW | Texas Renegades | TPE: 1761 Player Type: Sniper Number: 6 Height: 6'1" Weight: 185 lbs Shoots: Left SHL Statistics S32 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 11 | A: 7 | P: 18 | +/-: -10 | PIMS: 2 | H: 11 | S: 90 | S%: 12.2% S33 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 12 | A: 7 | P: 19 | +/-: +1 | PIMS: 10 | H: 30 | S: 87 | S%: 13.8% S34 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 21 | A: 19 | P: 40 | +/-: +8 | PIMS: 10 | H: 48 | S: 176 | S%: 11.9% S35 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 18 | A: 14 | P: 32 | +/-: +8 | PIMS: 7 | H: 14 | S: 182| S%: 9.9% S36 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 25 | A: 25 | P: 50 | +/-: +5 | PIMS: 0 | H: 10 | S: 238 | S%: 10.5% S37 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 16 | A: 27 | P: 43 | +/-: +2 | PIMS: 12 | H: 37 | S: 205 | S%: 7.8% S38 TXR | GP:  0 - SUSPENDED S39 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 24 | A: 36 | P: 60 | +/-: +24 | PIMS: 18 | H: 87 | S: 210 | S%: 11.4% S40 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 20 | A: 20 | P: 40 | +/-: -6 | PIMS: 18 | H: 107 | S: 176 | S%: 11.4% S41 TXR | GP:  50 | G: 21 | A: 22 | P: 43 | +/-: -16 | PIMS: 9 | H: 21 | S: 205 | S%: 10.6% Career...| GP:  450 | G: 168 | A: 177 | P: 345 | +/-: +16 | PIMS: 86 | H: 365 | S: 1569 | S%: 10.7% SHL Playoff Statistics S34 TXR | GP:  10 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | +/-: +4 | PIMS: 8 | H: 14 | S: 26 | S%: 11.5% S35 TXR | GP: 6 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: -5 | PIMS: 0 | H: 0 | S: 21 | S%: 9.5% S36 TXR | GP: 16 | G: 8 | A: 4 | P: 12 | +/-: -1 | PIMS: 2 | H: 3 | S: 56 | S%: 14.3% - Challenge Cup Winner S37 TXR | GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: -4 | PIMS: 2 | H: 7 | S: 11 | S%: 9.1% S40 TXR | GP: 5 | G: 1 | A: 0 | P: 1 | +/-: -2 | PIMS: 4 | H: 14 | S: 14 | S%: 7.1% Career...| GP:  44 | G: 15 | A: 12 | P: 27 | +/-: -8 | PIMS: 16 | H: 38 | S: 128 | S%: 11.7% SHJML Statistics S29 VAN | GP:  50 | G: 9 | A: 5 | P: 14 | +/-: -13 | PIMS: 15 | H: 54 | S: 70 | S%: 12.9% S30 VAN | GP:  50 | G: 24 | A: 25 | P: 49 | +/-: +15 | PIMS: 13 | H: 35 | S: 160 | S%: 15.0% S31 VAN | GP:  50 | G: 16 | A: 19 | P: 35 | +/-: +20 | PIMS: 0 | H: 15 | S: 100 | S%: 16.0% Career...| GP:  150 | G: 49 | A: 49 | P: 98 | +/-: +22 | PIMS: 28 | H: 104 | S: 330 | S%: 14.8% SHJML Playoff Statistics S29 VAN | GP:  18 | G: 7 | A: 3 | P: 10 | +/-: -6 | PIMS: 6 | H: 21 | S: 53 | S%: 13.2% S30 VAN | GP: 6 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | +/-: +3 | PIMS: 0 | H: 6 | S: 26 | S%: 11.5% S31 VAN | GP: 14 | G: 5 | A: 2 | P: 7 | +/-:+7  | PIMS: 0 | H: 3 | S: 31 | S%: 16.1% Career.....| GP:  38 | G: 15 | A: 8 | P: 23 | +/-: +4 | PIMS: 6 | H: 30 | S: 110 | S%: 13.6% IHF Statistics S29 IRL | GP:  8 | G: 1 | A: 0 | P: 1 | +/-: -7 | PIMS: 0 | H: 2 | S: 8 | S%: 12.5% S30 IRL | GP:  10 | G: 0 | A: 0 | P: 0 | +/-: -11 | PIMS: 4 | H: 8 | S: 10 | S%: 0% S31 IRL | GP:  10 | G: 1 | A: 1 | P: 2 | +/-: -7 | PIMS: 4 | H: 7 | S: 7 | S%: 14.3% S32 IRL | GP:  10 | G: 5 | A: 6 | P: 11 | +/-: +9 | PIMS: 2 | H: 12 | S: 36 | S%: 13.9% S33 IRL | GP:  10 | G: 3 | A: 1 | P: 4 | +/-: -2 | PIMS: 2 | H: 13 | S: 25 | S%: 12.0% S34 IRL | GP:  10 | G: 1 | A: 5 | P: 6 | +/-: 0 | PIMS: 0 | H: 25 | S: 51 | S%: 2.0% S35 IRL | GP:  10 | G: 3 | A: 2 | P: 5 | +/-: -4 | PIMS: 2 | H: 20 | S: 37 | S%: 8.0% S35 IRL | GP:  11 | G: 7 | A: 4 | P: 11 | +/-: +2 | PIMS: 16 | H: 30 | S: 66 | S%: 10.6% S36 IRL | GP: 11  | G: 7 | A: 4 | P: 11 | +/-: +2 | PIMS: 16 | H: 30 | S: 66 | S%: 10.6% S37 IRL | GP: 13  | G: 3 | A: 15 | P: 18 | +/-: -4 | PIMS: 10 | H: 23 | S: 54 | S%: 5.6% - Silver Medal S38 IRL | GP: 10  | G: 3 | A: 7 | P: 10 | +/-: -3 | PIMS: 2 | H: 24 | S: 58 | S%: 5.2% S39 IRL | GP: 12  | G: 6 | A: 5 | P: 11 | +/-: +5 | PIMS: 4 | H: 33 | S: 58 | S%: 9.0% - Bronze Medal S40 IRL | GP: 11  | G: 2 | A: 4 | P: 6 | +/-: 0 | PIMS: 6 | H: 18 | S: 26 | S%: 7.7% Career...| GP:  125 | G: 35 | A: 50 | P: 85 | +/-: -22 | PIMS: 52 | H: 215 | S: 445 | S%: 7.9% All Time..| GP:  807 | G: 282 | A: 296 | P: 578 | +/-: +12 | PIMS: 188 | H: 752 | S: 2582 | S%: 10.92% TRANSACTIONS S29 - Signed $2,000,000 (1 yr) w/ VAN S29 - Transferred to Ireland for IIHF Play S30 - Drafted 16th overall by the Texas Renegades S30 - Signed a 3 year, $9,000,000 contract w/ TX <S33 - Signed a 2 year, $7,000,000 extension w/ TX S35 - Signed a 3 year, $20,000,000 extension w/ TX (NTC, Player Option) - Voided year 3 via Player Option S37 - Signed a 3 year, $12,000,000 extension w/ TX (HTD) S40 - Signed a 1 year, $3,000,000 extension w/ TX (HTD) S41 - Signed a 1 year, $8,000,000 extension w/ TX Career Contract Earning: 13 years, $55 million

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Career Moments
S36 Challenge Cup Clinching Goal, 4 pt Night
S36 IIHF OT GWer to send IRL to the Medals for first time in 9 seasons
S39 1st Team All-Star

Since she joined the Winnipeg Jets roster, Pietra Volkova has found a very enjoyable pastime in annoying the living hell out of her teammate and countryman Zach Evans. On one notable occasion, Volkova got quite the laugh out of (unintentionally) almost spoiling his GWG by pulling a holding penalty barely a minute after his goal. While Evans was mouthing, "Fucking bitch," and glaring at her as he skated into the dot to take the PK faceoff, Volks could do nothing more than shrug and grin at him, unfazed.

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Петра Волкова || Russian Federation Head || Peak: 2003 TPE Name: Pietra Volkova Birthplace: Moscow, Russia Height: 5'8" Weight: 150 lbs Number: 41 ------------------------------------------------------------ Career Statistics: SMJHL Regular Season: S30 | 50 GP | 8 G | 11 A | 19 P | -4 | 8 PPP | 34 PIM | 50 H S31 | 50 GP | 15 G | 12 A | 27 P | +8 | 10 PPP | 30 PIM | 49 H SHL Regular Season: S32 | 50 GP | 6 G | 12 A | 18 P | +1 | 0 PPP | 25 PIM | 72 H S33 | 50 GP | 6 G | 11 A | 17 P | +14 | 2 PPP | 27 PIM | 53 H S34 | 50 GP | 10 G | 8 A | 18 P | -8 | 4 PPP | 24 PIM | 43 H S35 | 50 GP | 11 G | 26 A | 37 P | +9 | 11 PPP | 33 PIM | 91 H S36 | 50 GP | 18 G | 11 A | 29 P | -10 | 7 PPP | 43 PIM | 101 H S37 | 50 GP | 22 G | 22 A | 44 P | +17 | 4 PPP | 33 PIM | 91 H S38 | 50 GP | 23 G | 32 A | 55 P | +21 | 14 PPP | 38 PIM | 138 H S39 | 50 GP | 22 G | 19 A | 41 P | +18 | 13 PPP | 46 PIM | 149 H S40 | 50 GP | 26 G | 25 A | 51 P | +26 | 8 PPP | 38 PIM | 169 H S41 | 50 GP | 23 G | 25 A | 48 P | +25 | 13 PPP | 48 PIM | 129 H S42 | 50 GP | 13 G | 21 A | 34 P | -10 | 9 PPP | 70 PIM | 198 H S43 | 50 GP | 20 G | 29 A | 49 P | +12 | 18 PPP | 44 PIM | 169 H S44 | 50 GP | 17 G | 23 A | 40 P | +5 | 12 PPP | 56 PIM | 145 H SMJHL Playoffs: S30 | 18 GP | 6 G | 8 A | 14 P | +3 | 4 PPP | 12 PIM | 16 H S31 | 15 GP | 8 G | 6 A | 14 P | +1 | 4 PPP | 4 PIM | 26 H SHL Playoffs: S32 | 6 GP | 2 G | 5 A | 7 P | +5 | 1 PPP | 2 PIM | 6 H   S33 | 4 GP | 0 G | 0 A | 0 P | -3 | 0 PPP | 2 PIM | 11 H S34 | Did not qualify   S35 | 5 GP | 2 G | 2 A | 4 P | +1 | 2 PPP | 2 PIM | 5 H S36 | Did not qualify   S37 | 12 GP | 5 G | 3 A | 8 P | -4 | 1 PPP | 11 PIM | 19 H S38 | 13 GP | 5 G | 12 A | 17 P | +0 | 4 PPP | 14 PIM | 31 H S39 | 13 GP | 3 G | 7 A | 10 P | -3 | 3 PPP | 10 PIM | 42 H S40 | 14 GP | 2 G | 7 A | 9 P | -4 | 3 PPP | 10 PIM | 44 H S41 | 13 GP | 5 G | 8 A | 13 P | +7 | 5 PPP | 24 PIM | 43 H S42 | Did not qualify S43 | 17 GP | 13 G | 7 A | 20 P | +2 | 4 PPP | 12 PIM | 61 H S44 | 18 GP | 6 G | 10 A | 16 P | +4 | 4 PPP | 20 PIM | 55 H World Junior Championship: S30 | 8 GP | 8 G | 5 A | 13 P | +6 | 2 PPP | 6 PIM | 12 H IIHF Career Statistics: S30 | 10 GP | 0 G | 0 A | 0 P | +4 | 0 PPP | 4 PIM | 1 H S31 | 10 GP | 0 G | 0 A | 0 P | -6 | 0 PPP | 0 PIM | 3 H S32 | 13 GP | 3 G | 1 A | 4 P | +1 | 0 PPP | 8 PIM | 14 H S33 | 11 GP | 5 G | 3 A | 8 P | +5 | 1 PPP | 0 PIM | 17 H S34 | 11 GP | 1 G | 2 A | 3 P | -1 | 0 PPP | 4 PIM | 10 H S35 | 13 GP | 5 G | 7 A | 12 P | +9 | 0 PPP | 6 PIM | 17 H S36 | 11 GP | 4 G | 6 A | 10 P | +6 | 1 PPP | 0 PIM | 8 H S37 | 10 GP | 4 G | 4 A | 8 P | +7 | 0 PPP | 14 PIM | 15 H S38 | 13 GP | 7 G | 8 A | 15 P | +8 | 3 PPP | 2 PIM | 25 H S39 | 10 GP | 6 G | 4 A | 10 P | -1 | 2 PPP | 4 PIM | 32 H S40 | 10 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | -5 | 0 PPP | 6 PIM | 20 H S41 | 11 GP | 7 G | 5 A | 12 P | +0 | 4 PPP | 12 PIM | 17 H S42 | 11 GP | 7 G | 10 A | 17 P | +4 | 4 PPP | 2 PIM | 30 H S43 | 13 GP | 8 G | 9 A | 17 P | +6 | 8 PPP | 2 PIM | 18 H S44 | 10 GP | 2 G | 4 A | 6 P | +1 | 1 PPP | 0 PIM | 9 H ------------------------------------------------------------ Transactions: S30 | Drafted 4th Overall to the Halifax Raiders S31 | Drafted 1st Overall to the West Kendall Platoon S31 | Signed 3 yr/$3m deal with West Kendall Platoon S33 | Signed 2 yr/$4m extension with West Kendall Platoon S35 | Signed 2 yr/$4m extension with West Kendall Platoon S38 | Signed 3 yr/$5m deal with Winnipeg Jets S40 | Signed 3 yr/$5m extension with Winnipeg Jets S44 | Signed 1 yr/$500k extension with Winnipeg Jets (IFA) S45 | Signed 1 yr/$500k extension with Winnipeg Jets (IFA) S45 | Traded to Toronto North Stars ------------------------------------------------------------ Notable Events: S30 | Named Alternate Captain of the Halifax Raiders S30 | Won Four Star Cup with Halifax Raiders S30 | Won World Juniors Gold Medal with Cincinnati Silverback (GM) S31 | Named Co-GM of Team Russia S31 | Named Captain of the Halifax Raiders S31 | Won Halifax Raiders Broadway Award S31 | Children: Anastasia and Aleksi O'Koivu S32 | Named Federation Head of Team Russia S32 | Won Bronze Medal with Team Russia (GM) S35 | Named Captain of the West Kendall Platoon S38 | Married Olli O'Koivu S38 | Named First-Team All Star with Winnipeg Jets S38 | Won Gold Medal with Team Russia (GM) S39 | Nominated for Damian Littleton Trophy S40 | Named Third-Team All Star with Winnipeg Jets S40 | Nominated for Damian Littleton Trophy S40 | Won Presidents' Trophy with Winnipeg Jets S41 | Won Presidents' Trophy with Winnipeg Jets S41 | Nominated for Damian Littleton Trophy S42 | Won IIHF Top Forward with Team Russia S43 | Won Silver Medal with Team Russia S44 | Won Challenge Cup with Winnipeg Jets S44 | Completed Quadruple Gold (CIN/HAL/WIN/RUS) S45 | Retired ------------------------------------------------------------

Анастасия О'Койву || D || Colorado || Hamilton Steelhawks || Team Russia Name: Anastasia O'Koivu Age: 18 Birthplace: Moscow, Russia Height: 5'11" Weight: 165 lbs Number: 14 ------------------------------------------------------------ Career Statistics: SMJHL Regular Season: S45 | 50 GP | 1 G | 4 A | 5 P | +0 | 38 SB | 46 PIM | 65 H S46 | 50 GP | 3 G | 12 A | 15 P | -5 | 44 SB | 50 PIM | 87 H SMJHL Playoffs: S45 | 16 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | -7 | 14 SB | 50 PIM | 26 H S46 | 16 GP | 0 G | 2 A | 2 P | +0 | 9 SB | 8 PIM | 11 H IIHF Career Statistics: World Junior Championship: S45 | 22 GP | 2 G | 10 A | 12 P | -4 | 32 SB | 40 PIM | 47 H S46 | 28 GP | 5 G | 11 A | 16 P | -4 | 28 SB | 30 PIM | 56 H ------------------------------------------------------------ Transactions: S45 | Drafted 5th Overall to the Colorado Raptors S46 | Drafted 2nd Overall to the Hamilton Steelhawks S31 | Signed 3 yr/$500k deal with Hamilton Steelhawks ------------------------------------------------------------ Notable Events: S45 | Nominated for Zach Miller Trophy

This one time jcfbey01 stole a haiku I wrote while standing in line at the beer store, true story - this actually happened. Then what did he do? HE FREAKING STOLE IT! I may have overreacted..... good times though.

Sig Credit: Suavemente, rum_ham, Turd Ferguson

My best teammate always was and still is <a href='index.php?showuser=2739' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-17'>Loganjj21</a>. We may not be the perfect match personality-wise, but we've always had a special connection.

S57 || Rude Sniff || D || NBB/NOLA || 479 TPE Name: Rude Sniff Age: 28 Height: 6'0" Weight: 200 Number: 92 ------------------------------------------------------------------- SMJHL Regular Season Stats S56 - NBB || 50GP || 07G || 03A || +02 || 04PIM || 035SHT || 047SB || 09.02MPPG S57 - NBB || 66GP || 02G || 13A || +06 || 14PIM || 095SHT || 073SB || 15.26MPPG S58 - NBB || 62GP || 08G || 19A || -06|| 08PIM || 163SHT || 114SB || 20.29MPPG -------------------------------------------------------------------- SMJHL Playoff Stats S56 - NBB || 05GP || 00G || 00A || -02 || 00PIM || 003SHT || 002SB || 05.57MPPG -------------------------------------------------------------------- Stuff S56 Drafted 24th overall by Nevada Battleborn in the SMJHL Draft S57 Drafted 15th overall by Edmonton Blizzard in the SHL Draft


S38 || Thè Dude || D || STL/TEX || 1554 TPE Name: Thè Dude Age: 19 Height: 6'2" Weight: 192 Number: 98 -------------------------------------------------------------------- SHL Regular Season Stats S40 - TEX || 50GP || 08G || 20A || +03 || 18PIM || 076SHT || 82SB || 22.36MPPG S41 - TEX || 50GP || 06G || 25A || -15 || 28PIM || 098SHT || 90SB || 25.52MPPG S42 - TEX || 50GP || 05G || 37A || -02 || 08PIM || 109SHT || 83SB || 25.08MPPG S43 - TEX || 50GP || 13G || 32A || -02 || 36PIM || 104SHT || 70SB || 24.26MPPG S44 - TEX || 50GP || 09G || 25A || +03 || 40PIM || 103SHT || 89SB || 23.79MPPG S45 - TEX || 50GP || 18G || 25A || +11 || 52PIM || 137SHT || 88SB || 24.16MPPG S46 - TEX || 50GP || 10G || 32A || -04 || 46PIM || 113SHT || 65SB || 23.77MPPG S47 - TEX || 50GP || 07G || 25A || +07 || 37PIM || 096SHT || 65SB || 22.47MPPG S48 - TEX || 50GP || 11G || 29A || +05 || 52PIM || 101SHT || 77SB || 23.59MPPG S49 - TEX || 50GP || 15G || 27A || -09 || 36PIM || 092SHT || 68SB || 22.56MPPG S50 - BUF || 48GP || 12G || 21A || -20 || 04PIM || 085SHT || 91SB || 23.21MPPG S51 - CHI || 50GP || 13G || 27A || +05 || 26PIM || 097SHT || 67SB || 19.56MPPG S52 - CHI || 50GP || 04G || 20A || +13 || 16PIM || 073SHT || 61SB || 18.84MPPG Totals || 648GP || 131G || 345A || -05 || 402PIM || 1284SHT || 996SB || 23.01MPPG -------------------------------------------------------------------- SHL Playoff Stats S40 - TEX || 05GP || 00G || 00A || -03 || 02PIM || 006SHT || 05SB || 23.70MPPG S42 - TEX || 05GP || 01G || 03A || +01 || 04PIM || 007SHT || 07SB || 26.29MPPG S45 - TEX || 11GP || 03G || 04A || +02 || 08PIM || 035SHT || 22SB || 25.65MPPG S47 - TEX || 17GP || 02G || 15A || +01 || 06PIM || 038SHT || 20SB || 23.09MPPG S50 - BUF || 06GP || 00G || 02A || +01 || 04PIM || 011SHT || 06SB || 16.13MPPG S51 - CHI || 07GP || 00G || 05A || +02 || 02PIM || 007SHT || 08SB || 19.46MPPG S52 - CHI || 07GP || 01G || 01A || +01 || 00PIM || 009SHT || 09SB || 19.84MPPG Totals || 48GP || 07G || 30A || +05 || 26PIM || 113SHT ||77SB || 22.02MPPG ------------------------------------------------------------------- SMJHL Regular Season Stats S37 - STL || 50GP || 01G || 08A || +06 || 08PIM || 020SHT || 31SB || 18.14MPPG S38 - STL || 50GP || 04G || 21A || +06 || 08PIM || 074SHT || 53SB || 21.45MPPG S39 - STL || 50GP || 14G || 25A || +16 || 30PIM || 093SHT || 56SB || 21.52MPPG -------------------------------------------------------------------- SMJHL Playoff Stats S37 - STL || 13GP || 06G || 04A || +06 || 00PIM || 014SHT || 10SB || 17.86MPPG S38 - STL || 10GP || 03G || 03A || +06 || 02PIM || 026SHT || 07SB || 19.84MPPG S39 - STL || 13GP || 02G || 04A || -01 || 04PIM || 020SHT || 08SB || 19.66MPPG -------------------------------------------------------------------- Stuff S37 Drafted 12th overall by St. Louis Scarecrows in the SMJHL Draft S38 Drafted 10th overall by Texas Renegades in the SHL Draft S38 Named Captain of the St. Louis Scarecrows S38 Awarded the Tigole Dizzy Augustus Award of Excellence by the St. Louis Scarecrows S39 Awarded the Tigole Dizzy Augustus Award of Excellence by the St. Louis Scarecrows S39 Won the Four Star Cup with the St. Louis Scarecrows S40 Won the Gold Medal in the S40 IIHF Tourney with USA S40 Ryan Jesster Nominee and Loser S43 Named Alternate Captain of the Texas Renegades S43 Dropped the 'N' Bomb and avoided any repercussions S45 Scott Stevens Award Winner. S52 Retired

Can't buy love, but love can buy a lot.

It's no secret that Florence Clijsters and Luuk Kraaijkamp are very close off the ice, and occasionally on the ice when their GM have them together on the same line. Luuk isn't a very physical player, excelling in the more... "spectacular" aspects of the game. So whenever he takes some speed to try to check someone, Flo waits eagerly for the result because he's the one falling most of the time or he just misses the opponent all together. She tries not to laugh too much because she isn't much better but sometimes it's just too funny no to laugh.

Elena Maximova | Defense | Los Angeles Panthers Birthplace: Odessa, Ukraine Number: 64 ---------------------------------------------- S78: Won Challenge Cup with the Los Angeles Panthers S76: Traded to the Los Angeles Panthers S72: Won Four Star Cup with the St. Louis Scarecrows S72: Traded to the St. Louis Scarecrows S70: Drafted 3rd overall by the Minnesota Monarchs S69: Won Quilha Agante Trophy (best SMJHL dman) S69: Won Four Star Cup with the Québec City Citadelles S69: Named ass-captain of the Québec City Citadelles S69: Drafted 3rd overall by the Québec City Citadelles
Jasper Maximov | Defense | New Orleans Specters | Retired Birthplace: Odessa, Ukraine Number: 13 ---------------------------------------------- S68: Won gold medal with Sweden S66: Signed with the New Orleans Specters S61: Traded to the Baltimore Platoon S58: Won Four Star Cup with the Québec City Citadelles S57: Won silver WJC medal with Sweden S56: Drafted 9th overall by the Winnipeg Jets S55: Named captain of the Québec City Citadelles S55: Drafted 20th overall by the Québec City Citadelles
Мариа Максимова | Defense | West Kendall Platoon | Retired Birthplace: Saint Petersburg, Russia Number: 9 ---------------------------------------------- Transactions/Achievements: S38: Won gold medal with Russia S37: Named alternate captain for the West Kendall Platoon S32: Won bronze medal with Russia S28: Won silver medal with Russia S26: Named to the All-Rookie team S26: Won gold medal with Russia S26: Named captain of Russia S25: Won Four Star Cup with the Kelowna Knights S25: Won SMJHL Prospects Showcase as co-GM of the Outlaws (/w Lord Pretty Flacko) S25: Drafted 4th overall by the West Kendall Platoon S24: Named alternate captain for the Kelowna Knights S24: Drafted 10th overall by the Kelowna Knights

My closest teammate would be Doug Dimmadome. We grew up together and play in the SMJHL together. Last week we played in a Wiffleball tournement back at home and I called a walk off homerun, and then we had a bunch of beers. It was a great time. Great guy that Doug is.

McLovin Detroit-Minnesota-USA ------------------------------ Career Events S40- Signed by Prince George as a Free Agent S40- Named to team USA for WJC S41- Drafted 1st Round, 13 overall by Minnesota S41- Named captain of Prince George S41- Named to team USA for WJC S41- Led team USA in points in WJC S42- Re-named captain of Anchorage Armada S42- Won Gold Medal with USA in WJC S43- Traded to Detroit from Anchorage

McLovin Career Stats

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