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Avakael · 01-15-2019, 11:01 PM

Further reports from the Buffalo Lockerroom have shed further light on the reported altercation between GM Finn and out of sorts forward Dermot Lavelle. Lavelle, who reportedly got into an altercation with the Stampede GM, had his shit hilariously kicked in by someone twenty years his senior.

The fight, which was videotaped on the phones of at least half a dozen Buffalo players egging them on, was reportedly started after an argument caused by a comment someone made about an unnamed retired Stampede player being "the worst hypebeast ever". The argument spiralled until GM Finn reportedly yelled "Fuck you, football is for pussies, get that weak shit out of this room", leading to a physical fight between the GM and player in question.

Videotapes of the fight indicate that while Dermot Lavelle swung the first punches, GM Finn made an as yet unidentified single syllable screaming noise, picked Lavelle up, and threw him across the room into an ice bath. GM Finn then reportedly picked up and dumped an entire filing cabinet on top of Lavelle as he attempted to struggle out of the bath, and then jumped on top of Lavelle himself, repeatedly slamming his head against the edge of the bath. GM Finn then got out of the bath, and jumped back in on top of Lavelle to land a "peoples elbow" on the floundering forward. The filing cabinet in question reportedly contained a list of all the reasons why Old School Runescape is for alphas.

One of the videotapes of the fight submitted to ESPN for publication was slightly different, but the difference was merely that Finn's scream had been replaced by that incredibly fucking annoying porn noise that people sometimes put on facebook videos to prank people.

More to come.