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Lunatyck · 05-01-2019, 01:08 PM

Halo halo halo.

Przemek here ready to talking about new season in top liga SHL. As you knowing from last time we talking, I have been draft by wolfypack boys in New England which is in Amerika so no get confuse (Papa Mirek still no understanding but is ok). So you say, Przemek where have you be? It has been long time since we hearing from you? Why taking so long to give us updating?

Well the answer is because I fucking busy okay? But I still love you so here I am and let's begin what the life of Przemek has being since getting fabulous phone call to new liga.

When leaving hometown Stare Bystre, Polska, I am very sad to leave Mama Bozena and Papa Mirek but since I having new kontrakt and extension to kielbasa kontrakt, I making sure that I leave them in good hands so I buy them 4 cow, 1 goat, 2 chicken and a brand new ŠKODA superb automobile because I no wanting them to drive traktor to church anymore. Papa Mirek telling me Przemek no be fucking stupid I like traktor, very reliable! But I saying, Papa, no one driving traktor anymore! Need nice new car. Mama Bozena never see such nice car as Skoda so she crying and thanks God by praying for 2 hours. She is nice lady. I will always remember traktor. Papa Mirek showing me how to drive when I only 3 years old! He even training my neighbor Kamil and I even finding video showing Kamil excellent driving skill. He plow field in Poland record time thanks to Papa Mirek showing him how to driving at such young age.

I also was planning to go wedding of my cousin during this offseason but now that I have new SHL obligation, I no can go unfortunate. But have no fear, PB arranging best limousine in all of Polska as gift for cousin Katarzyna, the stretch limo Fiat 126p, also known as Maluch in Polska which translating to baby toddler. I even capturing picture here:
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[Image: comment_kZoslunKArKTzjtcZRtOWfEZ7A25yct2.jpg]

Fucking pimp auto no? I think she will be very happy with this ekstra clean limousine because who no liking Maluch? Such classical car here in Polska -- maybe I even buying it for myself and importing to England New so everyone can see this fantastic car. What you think?

Anyway, enough about Polska. Lets talking about SHL! So my agent organizing my move from Detroit to England New and finding me apartament in Boston, MA which is where we playing out of. I still no understanding why we no calling ourself Boston Wolf Pack but this is some weird Amerikanski thing I never going to understanding. So I flying out of Krakow into Boston with layover in Amsterdam. Agent fucking this up because he no looking close on flight reservation, and he making my layover 18 hours in Amsterdam airport! Who wanting to stay at airport such long time? Not me! So I calling agent and telling him Kurwa Mac why you doing this to me? He apologizing but unfortunate no other flight is going so I telling him I am going to getting hotel in downtown. He suggesting I no going because very much temptation (you know PB loving his prostytutki) in Amsterdam but I telling him to no be big bitch about this thing and hanging up.

So I going into Amsterdam downtown with train from airport which apparently running all day which is very convenient. I get into downtown Amsterdam 6pm Saturday and I no have eat anything since Mama Bozena making me fresh egg and kielbasa in the morning. So I go into town and I finding weiner stand. Everyone know PB liking kielbasa because fulll of proteina and delicious tasting, so how can I passing this up? So I ordering weiner with ekstra musztarda and french fries and then he giving me my meal. Instantly, I feeling angry because this weiner looking like some skinny pussy dildo toy and no kielbasa. On top of this disappointment, he giving me only majonez instead of ketchup with french fries. Look, I know everywhere in Europe people eating fries with majonez, even in Polska, but in Polska everyone asking if you wanting ketchup. This guy no offering it and when I asking for some he telling me he no have. How you serving french fry and no ketchup? Is like saying, I offer hamburger but no buns. Making no sense. Anyway, I am very dissapoint in weiner also because so skinny long but as you Amerikanski say, no knocking until trying it.

I taking one bite expecting wiener to be no good, but I am pleasant suprising. Is actually very tasty which very surprising to me. Actually, is facking good. So I order 2 more because PB is very hungry. French fry also very good. Ok now I am very full and still have 14 hours to go, but what can I do for such long time? I walking around for little while but I begin getting tired. I think food making me very much sleeping so I need something to waking me up. I see at corner is a coffee shop so I say, okay I go getting cappucino and relaxing for a bit. However, Amsterdam coffee shop no like Polski coffee shop or Amerikanski coffee shop. Coffee shop in Amsterdam meaning marijuana shop and I having no idea! I walking in and say, sir I wanting coffee please and he asking me if I wanting Marijuana. I saying, no mister I am profesional SHL player and no legal for me to do such thing. Plus, very illegal in Polska too. He understanding and giving me cup of coffee, and I sitting down. What happen next I no expecting.

I sitting drinking my coffee when beautiful girl comes into shop, order 2 pieces of cake and some coffee, but no where to sit. I telling her, sit, because I having room and although hesitate at first, she saying ok. She is nice girl from Denmark and she traveling to koncert here in Amsterdam tonight. We talking for little bit and she eating this very colorful cake with coffee. I asking her, what is fruity cake she eating and she telling me, this is a space cake. Its so delicious plus it makes you feel sky high. Then she offering me a piece if I wanting. In my country, is rude to reject food offer from guest and even though I no hungry, I no wanting to be rude so I say okay and eating this cake. This cake is very delicious, moist, and really tasty. She asking if I liking it and say very much so, and she then ordering some brownies for me and her. I telling her I am profesional SHL hokejista so no can be eating many sweet because I become fat cow on ice, so she saying is okay because we can splitting brownie. Again, I can no be rude so I agree and we splitting this brownie.

It was after eating chocolate brownie that I realizing something is feeling different. I noticing many funny things and me and her laughing very much. She asking me, how you feeling? Are you on the clouds yet? Cloud? Why she saying cloud? What happening? Then I realizing what happen. This is no ordinary desert, is specjal desert. Is marijuana desert. OH KURWA WHAT HAVE I DONE. I asking her, Does cakes having marijuana? And she says... Uhhh duh? This is a coffee shop in amsterdam after all! And she beging laughing so hard she crying and I convincing she almost peeing herself. Oh KURWA I am facking very high at this moment so I begin paranoia panic. I leave 30 euro on table and running out because I feeling very scared. I run out of coffee shop, and run run run far away.

A few blocks running, I finding bench in calm park with bench so I sitting down. Head is spinning very much, but man I feeling excellent. Every movement feeling different but funny, and eventually i start moving arms like bird and screaming like rooster from back home. Or maybe it is my Falcons

roots pulling through because I remembering one very loud SKREEEEEEEEEEEE from bottom of my lungs. I no know why so fucking funny but I laughing very hard. I continue do this until Policja coming saying people calling because crazy man walking like bird in park, but I telling them story with happen but they not very excited with story. They telling me, sir, you need to control yourself or you get arresting. I tell them I very sorry officer I no do it again, and lucky letting me go. (I admit very hard no laughing in this conversation but I hold it in)

Is now midnight and I am still very high, but I remember saying Przemek, you need to go to airport because no wanting to miss flight because I no wanting to miss first training day for England New Wolfpack. So I begin walking back to train to taking me back to airport. But on my walking back, I see very much red lights and I think I remember story saying what this means. I telling myself, no go, you only getting trouble. No go. But sometime man think with other head located in pants, and I continue walking in direction of red light. I walking by and oh my God so many sexy girl in window. It is like prostytutka store in real life. Blonde, red, black, brunette -- everything in one place. I checking my wallet and luckily I having 2000 euro still in pocket, so I enter first shop with blonde prostytutka. We having great sexy time and I paying for 30 minutes. This marijuana making me extra strong in this activity and I having great time.

I walking out of first booth very satisfy but I noticing I have problem.. big problem. Kielbasa kock is still full strong, and I cannot go to airport like this. So what can do? What any man do. Go to next shop! This one is brunetka, very sexy and petite. Giving 300 euro, 30 minute and finishing again and leaving. Okay, I remember thinking two time is enough. This must be resolving problema. But problema no go away. SO what can do? Try again.. I mean how can you no trying them all yes? I will admitting that I getting very tiring but this magic desert making me feel like porn star. I finally go to one more shop and this one having two girl, one asian one brazilian. Okayyyyy, exotic very much and such new territory for me. I never having two prostytutka. So I giving this time 700 euro for full special and lets just saying, no more problema. Smile

It was at this moment I thinking and realizing, maybe my agent is the best agent of all time because he give me this great opportunity to visit Amsterdam, so thank you agent. PB love you.

Anyway, after I leaving this magical place I looking at my time. 3 AM! Is time I go back to airport but maybe is best I no walking because I am tired and still feeling a little bit different. Plus it is better I no finding distraction along the way so I finding taxi, and tell him to drive to airport. I arriving in airport, go through custom and go to gate where airplane will leave. I taking nap and finally getting on to plane and flying to Boston. Agent is there to picking me up and taking me to new apartament which is very nice and close to arena. Boston very beautiful city and reminding me very much of Polski city Gdansk which is very old and near water. I still getting situate with new town because is so different from Detroit, so I cannot sharing much about this town yet. Agent reminding me that Polski fest is coming soon so is important I become familiar with town and try to get to know some people. Perhaps we can talking more about this later.

Okay, this is all the time I having today. I guess we no talking very much about SHL but more about PB story of travel, but hopefully you enjoying it. I promising next update I telling you more about SHL, my new team England New Wolfpack, and my time in Boston. In the mean time, please making sure you buy ticket to see me at Boston polski fest this weekend, May 4-6th 2019 in Dorchester, MA. I will be coming there, and I will be participate in pierogi eating kontest and signing kielbasa with musztarda. Will be great time and hoping to see you there. PS: Bring extra kosciusko musztarda and if you bringing shit yellow musztarda I slapping you very hard because this is no real mustard, is garbage.

Bye.

aWoooooooooooooo Wolfpack