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S47 PT #4 - Naked and Afraid: SHL Edition

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@esilverm
@Scrufdaddy

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PREVIOUS PLAYER STATISTICS

PBE PT

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PBE PT

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Challenge Cup Wins:
S18 - Riot Seattle Riot (with Chris McZehrl)*
S23 - Wolfpack New England Wolfpack (with Chris McZehrl)*
S27 - Dragons Calgary Dragons (with VLAD McZehrl)
S34 - Rage Manhattan Rage (with VLAD McZehrl)
S37 - Jets Winnipeg Jets (with VLAD McZehrl)
S46 - Stampede Buffalo Stampede (with GOD McZehrl)*

*first ever Challenge Cup of Franchise History

Four Star Cup Wins:
S24 - Whalers Vancouver Whalers (with VLAD McZehrl)
S39 - Scarecrows St. Louis Scarecrows (with GOD McZehrl)

SHL Hall of Fame Members:
S24 - Chris McZehrl Platoon Panthers Dragons Riot Wolfpack *
(GP: 764 | G: 322 | A: 461 | P: 783 | +/-: +109)
S40 - VLAD McZehrl Dragons Riot Rage Stampede Jets Wolfpack *
(GP: 653 | G: 333 | A: 361 | P: 694 | +/-: +141)

*1st Ballot Hall of Famer

small note: GOD McZehrl played at first as Defender and later as Forward!

Harvey Danger is dropped off in the world of Naked and Afraid with only a frying pan. The frying pan has many uses. To kill, and to feed. Some highlights of his time on the show, include begging the producers to let him go home, begging the producers to at least give him his pants back, begging the producers to maybe just give him his underwear back, and finally begging the producers just to use the frying pan to kill him because he could no longer survive in this world. And that was after the first 30 minutes.

After recovering from his breakdown, Danger used his frying pan as a shelter from the rain, which was very smart. He then came across an old fire from one of the other SHL guys, and he used that to fry up some grass. Then he found a frog, which he befriended. He named the frog Harvey Jr, and they actually had a pretty good time together until Harvey Sr. died because he ate some poison grass.

Good television.

Commander Shepard is not green when it comes to being stranded somewhere with nothing to go on. Being from the future Shepard had brought with him his trusty Omni-Tool which acts as a holographic Smartphone/Super Laptop. Quickly after Day 2 Shepard realized it was not much help as the jungle was so large a GPS would not help to much. From there he used the Omni-Tool to scan for resources and used it to hunt smaller animals as it has a laser blade. Shepard moved every day and on the 12th day he ran into one of his fellow survivors. Shepard ran into Oliver Klozoff who is also no stranger to having all of their clothes off. Klozoff brought a much more useful bow and arrow to hunt.
 
After meeting up, Shepard and Klozoff set out together to hopefully find the last Survivor. They continued and met up with the last survivor; Michael Scarn. Scarn being a secret agent, straight up brought a pistol to survive. As the survivors moved along on day 20 they ran into the last challenge; a drug cartel hideout. They had to fight their way out. Between galaxy saving Shepard, Scarn, and the crafty Klozoff they came up with an ingenious plan to blow up the cocaine stash to distract them and it worked with them being rescued the next day.

@Trautner @Alex Mack

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Thanks to @FlappyGiraffe and @ToeDragon84 for the making these sick sigs!

Quote:                            First Goal (3rd Game): Commander Shepard 1 (Nick Brain 1, Noah Gallagher 2) at 8:48

                                                                                                                                                               
     
(This post was last modified: 05-19-2019, 04:47 PM by Bonk.)

As the helicopter flew away Lil’ Manius was happy that one of the contestants would be easy to find and that should work in his favor. As for the other Manius would just have to figure things out on the fly. The first thing that Lil’ needed to do was find the highest vantage point he could find. Lucky the group was dropped on a decent size volcanic isle so finding the highest vantage point was easy. Once there, it was time to scan the isle until he saw it, and yes there it was, the bright reflective object in the distance was unmissable and unmistakable. Only one thing could be that large, pale and capable of reflecting that much light. It had to the naked ass of the General Manager of the Calgary Dragons, @Steelhead77. Once it was determined where he was to it was time to put on his survival item, sunglasses. A required safety items on this adventure was Steelhead77 pale could blind you if it hit your eyes wrong a lesson Gary Grease ( @FlappyGiraffe ) won’t soon forget as Lil’ found a blinded Grease curled up along a trail. Grease was confused, disoriented, and babbling about the intense light that had left him in the state. So Lil’ proceed the guild Grease to Steelhead that the three of the remained to together for the remainder of the 21 days.
Word ~231

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Sigs by @FlappyGiraffe,  @Steelhead77,  @ToeDragon84, @slothfacekilla, @Wasty and other dude I need to find your name

Lil' Manius


Big Manius

(This post was last modified: 05-19-2019, 06:52 PM by Fluw.)

@Daco @Tomasnz

Top 3 SMJHL goalies were put together and dropped off right in the wild, and left to their own devices to survive. Casimir Stevens, Peter Larson and Patrice Nadeau can't stop competing versus each other and it didn't change on this episode of Naked and Afraid as each decided to create their own "tribe" claiming their tribe is better than the other players. Nadeau asked for a banana milkshake as his one item which was a stupid idea, but he does love his milkshakes and ended up consuming it within the first minute of the show. The others kept their item a hidden secret from each other using their items as a device to make their "tribes" better. The jungle was then divided by all three goalies in a triangle area with Nadeau hording most of the coconuts to his section, Larson having most of the fresh water and Stevens owning most of the fruits and building materials, and it would seem they have all started trading resources with each other such as Nadeau trading A coconut to Stevens for "future considerations" whatever that means.

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My time on Naked and Afraid was a grim one. Waking up on this deserted island gave me strange feelings, and very primitive ones. They never told me who I would find on this island with me, but it ended up being none other than @Steelhead77 Esa and @Mike Izzy Izzy. Being naked and afraid with these two was not a new feeling to me, as I felt similar to that when I first stepped into the Calgary Dragons locker room for the first time. Esa went to gather materials for a shelter, being the wise veteran that he is, he seemed to be able to do it without a problem. Izzy was in charge of getting food, and he disappeared for awhile. I had no idea where he was, and we were all getting hungry. Things took a turn when I got the taste the chicken parms in my mouth, and I needed to eat as soon as possible. On first site of a camera man, my primitive instincts came into play, and I threw a hand-made spear at the guy's head. There was no time to cook it, because when I opened his stomach, everything looked like chicken. I had chicken eyes, and I was going insane for the parmesan. I cannot describe the feeling, eating raw intestines that my brain made taste like chicken for whatever reason. After a few minutes, what do I see? Izzy comes through the bush with freshly found food to eat, and stops me in my tracks.

Luckily for me, none of what I did was on camera, on account of murdering a camera man and eating some of a person. Izzy and Esa helped me cover it up, and I am lucky to be able to still play hockey in the SHL at this point.

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I've been left here alone in the jungle, at least I think it's a jungle; for all I know it's just a weird forest, but that's besides the point. They've taken my clothes in exchange for a map and told me to not die until at least the 22nd day. Allegedly two of my teammates are somewhere here with my but I doubt I'll be able to find them. They allowed me to take any item I wanted, but just one, and so I grabbed my compass. Didn't realize it until I got here and actually looked at it that this thing is busted. Hopefully I luck upon one of the others and they have some actual useful items. My starting area has a river running through, so honestly I might just stay here the whole time. You can survive 21 days with only water, right?

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Thanks to JSS for the signature


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Three of the Smeb brothers were dropped off in the Korean wilderness for a TV show. Parker Smeb, Kit Smeb and Daniel Smeb are part of a star line for the Chicago Syndicate and are super popular in Korea. Parker was left naked and afraid but was smart and chose for his item to be a onesie so he was no longer naked and afraid. Parker first found Daniel on day 5, his survival item was a tent which was stocked with 21 days worth of so he just stayed in there the entire time, this survival item was highly controversial in Korea but was allowed. They found Kit on day six. Kit was the most emotionally disturbed of the group, his survival item was a knife that had somehow ended up stuck in his leg. Kit was a big fan of the show "Survivorman" and once saw him drink his own pee by filtering it through leaves. Unfortunately, Kit screwed this up and was drinking straight unfiltered urine for three days. The boys then returned to Daniels tent to survive the other 16 days.

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"“HA HA! THIS GAME WILL NEVER END! I POSSESS THE SOUL OF EVERY GOALIE ON TEAM B!! CREW 4 LIFE!! SIGN WITH EDMONTON FOR THE CUP!!!” cackled Belial as he placed a Fedora on his head."
SMJHL Commisioner S17-S26
Calgary Dragons GM S14-S23

Kit smeb went on naked and afraid with his two prothers parker and daniel. Chico wanted to come on too but hes a traitor so the brothers didnt want him on the same season as them. Kit decided that first thing he was going to do was practice some knife tricks. He was spinning his knife really cool like but then he made a mistake and it got lodged in his leg, oh well. It explains why he was so slow this season in the shl. Kit was also a fan of bear gwills so he knew that he could drink his own urine straight from his body. tasted kinda funky but thats ok. Eventually parker and daniel stumbled accross kit halucinating in a mud puddle. They then all returned to daniels tent because he seemed to know what he was doing, he did spend much of his childhood in their backyard since mama smeb wouldnt let him in the house (even though kits birth killed her but we arent worried about continuity). the end

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Affiliate of:
syndicate Steelhawks Whalers

There Zadina was, still confused why he even signed up and agreed to these shenanigans in the first place. Put there was no turning back now, there he was standing in the middle of the woods with Serpe and Gallagher. Out of the 3 of them, neither really had any skills or were proficient in camping in any form. If it wasn't a 5 star hotel while on the road they were lost. They tried to make a fire but that didn't end well as Serpe found him self with about 5 splinters in his hand, Zadina dropped a rock on his foot trying to set up a pit, and Gallagher was pulling wet logs out of the river. The only thing they had working for them was their conditioning. They all just agreed the only way to get through this was to get moving and don't stop till they were out. It wasn't a fun trip for accommodations but it was one held of a bonding experience. Then again why wouldn'

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HE SHOOTS HE SCORES

JOHN LANGABEER NETS IT AND TIES THE GAME!!!!!
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AND HE SCORES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! JOHN LANGABEER JUST SCORED THE 2 BIGGEST GOALS OF HIS CAREER IN A MATTER OF 10 SECONDS!!!!!!

WEST KENDALL TAKES THE LEAD!!!!

S41 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7, Game Tying and Game Winning Goals.

NSFL PT

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Thank you all for the amazing sigs & player cards
Germany Citadelles  Stampede [Image: vhY18i8.png][Image: Raptors.png][Image: gs89eGV.png] [Image: eE2UQZC.png] Stampede Citadelles Germany



3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

It's a dark cold evening as Jeff Brogen, Luke Thomason, and Willy Mack are dropped off in middle of an island and stripped of their clothes.

Immediately, Brogen's mind goes to the shadow organization. Willy and Luke immediately sigh, knowing that he's going to be useless for most of the trip now as he 'investigates' the reasoning behind their appearance on the island. It's a TV show Jeff, you quite literally signed up for this.

Luke thinks it's no big loss as Brogen wanders off into the woods. The former teammate realizes that it's easier to look after two than three.

Between him and Mack, they struggle their way through the island, trying to make makeshift clothes out of vines and leaves, barely covering themselves while they look for food.

They go days without seeing Jeff, and begin to fear the worse. While they havebeen able to keep themselves moderately fed, they don't believe their former teammate will have done the same.

On day twenty, they happen upon a cabin, and walking inside, they see their former partner who is dressed in clothes, and appears to have a buffet of food around him.

"this game was easy" says Jeff, before the other two faint from anger

Battleborn  Finland     [Image: QwTZD8C.png]   [Image: uJXrVDL.png]  [Image: iemKOIk.png]     Finland  Battleborn

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