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~~PenKnight~~ · 07-04-2019, 04:08 PM

(Word Count 3,663 + Graphic)

The Vancouver Whalers currently have serious depth in the way of their roster. They currently have 26 players signed to contracts and who knows how many they have in the wings waiting to sit down and talk out a deal. These guys seem to be preparing for the future which is a rare commodity in the minor leagues but makes perfect sense if you are serious about Forum Simulation Hockey. Some of us are more serious than others and it is refreshing to scout out another team that seems to actually care about every game they play on the ice. I could not tell you what it is like inside of their locker room but I imagine it is more active than the one in Montreal. I personally have gone inside and seen layers of dust and cobwebs. Scouting out the Militia it appears that many of the players are falling victim to the summer months and most likely are away from their computers to update in a timely manner. This does not mean that they can not update in the future but it is troublesome to see most of the players either inactive or uninterested in their minor league team. A few of them are only updating the activity check and training but they are running out of cash in a hurry and who knows if they will continue on. Gotta Love Honors Bio is most likely gone and unlikely to return. Guitterez was disgruntled and left for the last place team in the SMJHL. Cleary couldn't work out a deal and went onto the Detroit "Skreeee" Falcons and has moved up to the Pros. Many of the key offensive talent for the Militia have moved up to the Professional Simulation Hockey League as well. The Taxman for the Militia can't really figure out how to update properly and is involved in the HO of the CHL which causes scheduling conflicts. All in all the Militia have the signs of falling apart and in rapid fashion.

However, we have a team here in the Whalers, that seem to be heading in the opposite direction. One might dare say, a positive one. First up we have Center Sami Rieder and he seems to be lollygagging it as well in a casual manner but as far as Vancouver is concerned he is well over the cap at 444 TPE so it really isn't their problem. Sami also has over 25 Million in the bank to cover expenses. The loss of TPE would be a concern to the Hamilton Steelhawks but as many have said in the past you can update casually and still be a decent player. Next up we have... Center Mike Richard who is an obvious new recruit. Right out of the gate he was gung ho completing many tasks and updating for his first ever update. He had some trouble with linking and claiming but he did all that he could in that first week. He got a little slap on the wrist about his sloppy update and hasn't returned since 6-26-19 and missed out on the update of the 23rd and 30th. It appears that he will miss the next one making it three in a row to the disappointment of the Whalers but I feel they are going for volume as well as substance. The more darts you throw the more likely you are to hit the bulls eye.

It seems we are going down the list of Centers and next up we have another recent acquisition in the way of, Jared Lammi. The same story as Mike Richard. He came and did the first update and has decided not to return to update since. This player checked in just yesterday on the 5th of July but could not be bothered to update. Most likely checking over the stats or saying hello. Perhaps he is lost and trying to figure it out cause sometimes new recruits get lost in the maze and don't ask or know about a Rookie Mentor. You would think he would at least use his 3 Million in cash to buy some equipment!? I know I myself, was never introduced to a mentor and when I asked Montreal they just told me to copy someone else. However in my situation, I was more determined since I love hockey and am a little more mature in age. I also had the luxury of having Super Agent @StamkosFan who held my hand when I needed it. Stammer also answered every message I sent and was willing to be patient. So you kinda need the combination of want, desire and at least one person around you that is willing to help you with anything and everything to beat the odds of going inactive.

Another Center is Jan Zacha and this player created right around the same time as the other two. The difference is he is showing much better promise. This figures since he has been a member over 2 years and this is a re-creation. He is chugging along updating and has 25 Million in the bank. Currently up to 247 TPE and is getting ready for some playoff action. Well Done Experienced User!

Now we get into the Captain! Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain... Captain Dave?? No it's the one and only Captain Aaron Wilson! Another Steelhawk and I am starting to see a connection here. This player has it all. He joined just recently in February of this year and hasn't showed any signs of slowing down. He is a season 47 SHL Draftee and currently has 576 TPE! Doesn't miss a beat and is friendly with his own and the opposition. Never a derogatory word and always willing to help. A true role model and it makes perfect sense why he has been voted the Captain of his Harpooning Whalers! We look forward to the future of this player in the pros.

Center Andy Kerr is next and he is a long time member now over 3 years running. A Season 45 player drafted by the Rage who is currently at 396 TPE. He got over the cap and it seems went inactive back around the same time Aaron Wilson joined up. He may return one day but for now it appears he will be a professional minor league player and the Whalers can't be upset with having a long term Capped Center on their team for many season to come.

Finally, we have a Left Winger now and a Rookie at that. A true rookie just like Zarley Zalapski was last season. A first generation player according to the page I am reading. His name is Jean-Paul Boivin He just joined up so we can't make any real statements about him. It seems he is updating and his first update should be tomorrow. I would like to see him buy some equipment but he has time to do that right before the first playoff game. I want to personally welcome him to the league and encourage him to fight the good fight and stick with it for a long and productive career.

Next up our next Left Winger who is Dale Miller. He joined a few weeks after Captain Aaron Wilson and is cruising along doing what is required to maintain the TPE pace. He is currently at 450 TPE which is a 126 differential from Wilson so he must of had a little down time somewhere but he is doing well enough to be an impact player if he sticks it out. Once again the Whalers are fine with this since he is a capped player and after you cap out it is the SHL teams responsibility compared to the SMJHL's team.

Left Winger Cullen Grey is next and it is the same old story. Another capped player who joined around Feb/March 2019 and blazed along over the 350 Cap. The only thing I notice is he hasn't updated for the week ending 6-30-19 and it appears he may miss this update as well. Most likely some sort of vacation and will back date updates in the future. He is at 471 TPE so once again the Whalers have a capped player and that is the most important thing for them. However it does seem that they may be some sort of farm system for Hamilton so I am sure they are working together to try to keep these players in line for mutual benefit.

Another First Generation Rookie and another StamkosFan recruit. I thought this was a Stammer Recruit but it isn't listed on his player page!? Either way I know this player from the pucktheory BESL website. A boring league that I most likely will not return to. I could not be more board with a league than I am with the BESL and they have a few trolls that enjoy trolling over there. Some consider it a toxic environment but I feel they have plenty of good members as well. The problem is you really have no control over your player and you have to post 90 times a month to maintain your A rating. That gets tiresome very quick. They also use the 3 point system for the standings and that bothers the you know what out of me, so I say good riddance. Now after that rant let's get back to this Rookie Left Winger! Artem Mozgov is a fellow Russian like Zalapski and Mozgov is making a serious go of it. You can see he is struggling to maintain a bank account and is currently broke after buying some equipment. As I have said many times, money doesn't grow on trees and you really got to focus on your media in this league if you don't have a job or large contract. I don't like the way he updates but that isn't a major deal. His updaters seem to have no issue with it and he is updating as much as possible so let us just leave that semantic issue alone. He is currently at 212 TPE and doing well for a late edition. I would of loved to have him in Montreal with me but our leaders don't really care that much to take the time to track down Free Agents. I enjoy seeing Mozgov around and I hope he sticks with it. At least get up to the capped 350 TPE so the whalers can have another big gun for 8 seasons or so.

Now we get into the Right Wingers and we start with a serious long time member. Over 8 years on the site so you know he is going to get it done. He has just under 20 Million in the bank and cruising along. Oddly enough he is not a Steelhawk but a Panther. Well done Los Angeles. Let us hope those Earthquakes settle down on us eh? So, Theo Morgan, isn't kidding around and he has been updating like the Champion that he is, currently listed at 532 TPE. I expect him to just keep the place and rock it in the Pros very soon.

I think the next player is the first Season 48 Draftee that we have come across. Honestly this guy is one of my favorites but to tell the truth I think Jon-42 is much more interesting to converse with. Jon-41 is certainly a wild card and can explode at any moment. He was ranked 23rd in TPE and went 23rd in the Draft or actually 22nd since the Chiefs had to Forfeit. This is a bit of a sore spot with this player but it is fun to wind him up and push some buttons. This player was serious about proving everyone wrong and is updating as much as he possibly can. He is just under the cap currently listed at 341 TPE. He will cap out right before playoff game number one. I expect to see his agent around these parts when the next draft comes up and they offer the coveted 2x Media Bonuses. That is when I will be hoping and praying that Jon-42 makes his return and interviews Mr 41 cause I think that is the best article I have ever read on this site. I have to be careful though cause laughing that hard could cause a massive stroke or heart attack to my body and I will go bloop for sure. We salute Jon-41 and look forward to his next article down the road whatever it may be.

Right Winger, True Rookie and First Generational Player Mr. Jastik Janorksson is next. F'ing Swedish Fish Names piss me right the F off sometimes. Sorry bout that, I got a little triggered as I had to take some time to type out that freaking name. So this Swede is giving it a go and updating as much as possible and seems current. He is listed at 190 TPE and if he continues on in this journey he should be capped out by next season start or middle. It just looks like he needs a couple more pieces of equipment and needs to get to pushing out Media. Not only for this season but next season is going to be a killer if he wants to upgrade to SHL Equipment and Training. Best of Luck kid... Best of Luck!

Bobby Bobcalf is next and he is a wizard with a computer. He showed some of the behind the scenes footage on Youtube about the new Updater Program as the SHL tries to copy the VHL. I was one of the only viewers on that youtube site and may have pissed Bobcalf off with a few minor sarcastic remarks or needles. I think he called it static but it was far from static. F this guy if he is that wound up and can't laugh along. Let's look at his player page and updates. It looks like he is going to miss the next one unless he high tails it in the next few hours. He might have a 12 hour window from this point at 11 PM PST. He is just about broke with 250k in the bank but I would expect him to correct that issue. He currently is capped out and has a total of 355 TPE so all is well in the world of Vancouver and their never endless Capped Players! I personally am looking forward to the new updater and hope to pound Bobcalf into the boards as well... see you on the ice!

And now we have some Defensive Players to look at. Personally I am in 4 leagues minus that BS BESL League so let's say 3 leagues and I have 3 Defenseman builds so I have a special place in my heart for these type of players. This guy told me I was losing my marbles with my Podcast War but it isn't my fault he didn't get all the references. 28 Million in the bank and it looks like a welcome back party as he joined in 2017. His new player is Mikas Bieksa and as you already know he plays Defense. He is currently a Season 49 SHL Draftee. Updating along and has a nice color coded update page. He has 217 TPE and should be cruising along as long as he keeps on keeping on. We look forward to matching up against him in the Simulator Fake Ice and around the Sim World. Nicely Done Mr. Ontanis!

Kaspars Claude is next up and is a Season 48 SHL Draftee. This guy has some jobs. Just looking at his update page is making me go cross eyed. I just know I like him and he is a tough guy. The first overall draft pick of Season 48 in the SHL and he went to the Barracuda. Who gives a shit if you go first or last in the Draft? The real game is 6 seasons down the road and we can see who really showed who. I expect this guy to be in the tops of TPE earners though and I wish him well with the Barracuda and hope he is happy in that home. If not, you always have Free Agency to explore and I hear the Specters like having Defenseman. He is cruising along with his TPE Train and is listed at 422 TPE so expect him to knock you around on the ice. I may not be able to help you against this player as my weakness is checking and I get hit at a 4 to 1 ratio but you know, Zalapski is about Assists and the occasional goal and shot blocking. Nicely done getting picked first overall Claude and I wish you well with the Whalers and the Heart Attack Barracuda.

The next Defenseman is trouble indeed and always ready for a fight. Nice enough but I kinda like to stay away from him as he is bigger, stronger and faster than Zalapski. He joined with those mighty bastards from the 11 Round Reddit Draft I believe and they all seem to just be pounding it. He currently has 508 TPE and is just like the rest of the Capped Whalers... chugging along. How the F is this team not number one or two in the standings? I am looking forward to seeing what happens in the playoffs with this capped team. SecondSucks22 uses Drew Doughty as his render and unless you are a King or a King Fan you just hate that guy but Jax Duggan is a well respected player around the SHL and rightfully so.

Joe Ackryod must of made up with brother Dan since we haven't seen him around the site since April. He is currently listed at 268 TPE and has no sign of returning. This is one time the Whaler Nation was unable to get a player to cap out before abandoning the dream.

Another fellow Russian and Defenseman up next is Igor Volkov and don't call him Egor! He has a few bucks in the bank listed at 6.3 Million Dollars and should get some more in the future for an article or two that he wrote that has yet to be graded. Another player who is on the Minnesota Chiefs and if all these guys with chips on their shoulders stick with it, the Chiefs might be hoisting the Champions Cup in the near future. Egor, I mean Igor is having a little trouble tracking his capped TPE but I think he will figure it out eventually. It seems he had a little back and forth with the updating crew but everything looks to be ironed out now and Igor is starting to barrel down full steam ahead. Unfortunately now, he looks to not be tracking his Total TPE and that is going to piss those guys off something fierce. This SHL stuff can be tricky at times and I need to take a minute to figure out his total TPE myself. Hold or pause this transmission please... thank you. It looks like 336 + 12 = 348 Total TPE but who really knows. This guy is lost in outer space around Alpha Centauri with the Swiss Family Robinsons. He could use the robot to help him in his endeavors to spoil any of Dr. Smiths plans in my opinion. I look forward to reading more of his interplanetary musings but now that the CHL has popped up it will take some time and effort. I didn't even want to write this article but since I started it, I might as well finish. To be honest this whole thing was not even close to what I was aiming for but it has a mind of its own like some Martian on the moon called Titan.

LOL, Ironically and I am using Ironically correct here... we have Egor up next! Egor Kucherov is also from Russia and I may have said hi to him a few times without knowing. We all have about 5 different user names and I sometimes get lost in the web of them. Oh no wonder I haven't heard of this guy! He went inactive before I joined. Just about a month before and he did get up to 282 TPE which helps out the team to some degree. Hope you come back to the Motherland one of these days Egor!

Now we get into the two goalies. First up is Casimir Stevens and I believe this is Daco from the Daco Debacle of the Minnesota Chiefs. I guess if you ghost the site you still get to be a long time Minor League Player and SMJHL Super Star. He is a Season 46 SHL Draftee and listed at 621 TPE. I think he has a bunch of sanctions on him but I would still like to see him return, just for the entertainment alone.

The Flash or Kasperi Braulin is up next and I think he is currently having some fun in the CHL. A player who felt disrespected with the Season 48 Mock Drafts but went higher than expected. He is currently capped at 381 TPE. Updating Regularly but lack of funds is hurting his training. A common story in the money league that is the SHL. The economy will break you if you don't submit to it. I expect this player to get on track and do good things in the future with the West Kendell Platoon and if not he always has the NHL 09 CHL to enjoy!

So we talked about 22 players and it seems we have 26 listed on their roster. I guess you can only start 20 players and 2 goalies so whoever those four that I missed were I do apologize. I let this thing get out of hand and run way too long. Sometimes you just get screwed in my media. Sorry... Not Sorry.

diacope · 07-04-2019, 04:27 PM

Take your time and write something awesome, looking forward to reading it Whalers

Newspaper looks legit!

ztevans · 07-04-2019, 09:01 PM

I'm gonna get a kickback on the royalties on this, right? Laughing

~~PenKnight~~ · 07-04-2019, 09:13 PM

07-04-2019, 09:01 PMztevans Wrote: I'm gonna get a kickback on the royalties on this, right?

I just learned that when you have a problem with people and finances you need to lawyer up and wait about 3 years to see your first check!
However, you have to pay all your attorney fees as you go along which adds up very quickly and you might end up upside down.
Better to just settle in a civil manner with me directly and leave the court system out of such matters.