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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SMJHL S49 Game 207 - VAN @ ANC

SMJHL Game 207 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Artem Mozgov @diacope
Team: Vancouver Whalers
Victim: Daniel Bischoff @dylanjj37
Team: Anchorage Armada
Time: 8:27 of 3rd period
Total possession time:  48:27
Hot po-take-to:  The Potato has been getting a reputation through the league of being a burden on the carrier and reducing production.  It looked like this would hold true with Mozgov.  He fashioned a saddle of sorts on his shoulder pads to carry The Potato around.  Through the first two periods it looked like The Potato was taking it's energy from Artem directly, but they managed to slide the puck around rookie Ian Venables early in the 3rd.   During the celly, The Potato was knocked off his shoulder.   Through some magical magnetic type of power, rather than falling it spun in the air momentarily before going back to it's saddle.  Was this some sort of glitch in the Matrix?  Whatever it was, this appears to have shaken Artem from his daze and on his next shift he runs down Daniel Bischoff to pass along The Potato.


SMJHL Game 207 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Daniel Bischoff @dylanjj37
Team: Anchorage Armada
Victim: N/A
Team: Vancouver Whalers
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  11:33
Hot po-take-to:  Bischoff attempted to carry The Potato around in his off-hand for a while but after struggling to hold onto his stick one handed he attempted to toss The Potato into the stands.   Again - this caused the potato to somewhat swirl in the air before flying back at Daniel and caught him square in the jaw.  In order to avoid injury, he was able to talk Mozgov out of his shoulder saddle.  This was extremely unpopular with the rest of the Armada team as the saddle was decorated in Whaler's green and rhinestones, but Danny's gotta use his hands in face offs.

What kind of physics is this where The Potato is incapable of being removed?  

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SMJHL S49 Game 211 - ANC @ HFX

SMJHL Game 211 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Daniel Bischoff @dylanjj37
Team: Anchorage Armada
Victim: N/A
Team: Halifax Raiders
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:05:00
Hot po-take-to:  Bischoff seems to have embraced The Potato and the rhinestone studded saddle though he did get a custom Armada emblem embossed on it.   Where are these players getting these customizations so quickly?   Is there a Potato crafter that follows this thing around?

Anyway - Daniel and The Potato seem to be sympatico as he is able to land his 3rd goal of the season with The Potato in tow.  Though most of the game you could find Daniel sitting on the bench having hushed conversations with The Potato.  He saw only 8 minutes of ice time this game and his obsession with The Potato seems to be growing.

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SMJHL S49 Game 215 - ANC @ DET

SMJHL Game 215 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Daniel Bischoff @dylanjj37
Team: Anchorage Armada
Victim: N/A
Team: Detroit Falcons
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:  Bischoff's decline seems to be progressing rapidly.  He has developed a 1,000 yard stare and began telling the media stories of his days in 'nam. On the ice he was referring to Detroit players as 'Charlie' and dove for cover behind the boards multiple times when a Detroit player approached him. After then final horn he flipped the net, took Detroit goalie Emiko Spector hostage and threatened to cut him with his skate before the team intervened and talked him off the ledge. He was rushed back to the locker room immediately after and during the media interviews Acoslap refused to go into detail, but promised that Bischoff would "receive the treatment he needs". We'll see if he dresses for the next game against the Whalers.

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