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Toivo · 09-14-2019, 07:11 PM

NSFL PT

Task one Heading to New England for Game 1 because I want to be at the action when it starts. The excitement of crowning the next Challenge Cup champion takes over the city. It turns an ordinary town into a festive one beaming with excitement, and I want to be in the thick of it. I want to hit up the merch shops and buy some season 49 challenge cup shirts. Look forward to interacting with all the beat writers and journalists who will turn out. I always like trying to find the best tacos in a city, and for the most part, you can find really good tacos in any city. I want to find Boston’s best tacos and post it to my foodie gram and net the place a few more customers. I would like to take a picture with the challenge cup, hopefully it’ll be present despite it only being game one.

Task Two Fade in: Ext. Boston sidewalk in front of Cheers Bar. Cliff: The Challenge Cup is one of the premier championships of the modern sports world. Becoming a Challenge Cup Champion is the goal of every hockey player. It’s the reason they train at a young age. Like the Annual Postman of the Year award, many young aspiring postmen start their training at the ripe age of 5, I know I sure did. Boston, Massachusetts; home of the best postal office in the entire nation, and also the location for Game 1 of the Season 49 Challenge Cup Final. This city is full of history and has seen some of the greatest moments in American history. Now it’s set to see one of the greatest matchups in SHL history between the Wolfpack and Blizzard. Oh geez, I’m getting excited and proud to be a Bostonian since my city is hosting Game 1. Make sure you watch it.

Task ThreeThe Elijah Jones system: Elite scoring ability, Legs for days, Integrity means never cheating, Judge where the play is going before it gets there, Attitude stays positive, and Hammer the puck. Following the Elijah system and your play will be elevated, lengthened, intensified, jolted, amped, and honed in. I go around to youth camps all across the country and try to teach them the basics. In my off-season, I host a free youth camp and go over the Elijah system with them. I have been asked to come to universities and high schools, which is humbling since I was in the US National Development program not too long ago. It’s great to see the impact I have on the youth’s game already. It brings a tear to my eye when I see kids wearing #33 Jones jerseys. It means my hard work has paid off and I try to convey that to the youth.

Task Nine
A: Anders Christiansen could have a big impact on the outcome of the Challenge Cup Finals. This is a player that has been hyped up since pre-season when hockey fans were doing fantasy hockey. Christiansen’s game in the regular season demonstrated that he was a legitimate threat. The Wolfpack may rely on him to dominate the games.
B: Manuel Gotze, Rafe Ulrich, and Hercules Rockefeller for the forwards, and Tor Tuck and Thomas Bathory as the defensemen, and Leitner as goalie. Bathory might stand out as a surprising choice since there are so many quality defenders on both teams, but this is a special player that will develop well over the next few seasons.
C. Johannes Leitner has the advantage this season since he put up those numbers this season. He was an absolute stud and helped carry this Wolfpack team to the finals. The outstand play of Leitner is going to give the Wolfpack a slight advantage in this final series. Tuck is a great goalie as well, so this could turn into a goalie duel.
D. Rafe Ulrich. It’s a great name that is somewhat mysterious. Ulrich sounds like a formidable name and his play conveys that on the ice. I don’t want to square off with a guy named Rafe Ulrich, so when I come across him on the ice, I’ll play respectable hockey with the fellow.
E. I guess a hot dog. I’ve had a few in the past week since they are easy to toss in the microwave for 30ish seconds and then add a condiment. I’ve been adding sweet baby ray’s bbq sauce to my hotdogs lately. It’s a bit unusual, not traditional like mustard or ketchup but anything with sweet baby ray’s is going to be good.

Muford · 09-14-2019, 08:06 PM

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...t&p=106763 Welfare

Task 12 - Sent

Mika_Kandinsky · 09-14-2019, 09:09 PM

Code:
1.

I'm so honored to get a chance to go have a good time at the home stand of my choosing for the finals. So you know I've got to go to Boston. Great town to walk around and drink in. It's also a great hockey town so you know I think I'd need to go see it. I could even learn something about American history while I'm there. Then after the games I'll probably walk around town and go party all over the place. They also have that great seafood there, so you know I'm running up the tab at all the best seafood restaurants around. Bottomless lobster? Yes, please. Then at the bars I'll be getting top shelf vodka all night long, maybe some bottle service at a club later on. If everything is paid for, you know I'm going to do it big.

Code:
2.

Tony Pepperoni (@"TommySalami") walks down an alley of Edmonton all by himself carrying nothing but a hockey stick and wearing an Edmonton Blizzard sweater. All of a sudden all of the lights in the alley go out except for one. Into that spotlight, a Wolfpack of actual wolves, step. A close up of Tony Pepperoni's face as his eyes narrow.
Tony: Give it your best shot!
Suddenly the wolves lunge at Tony Pepperoni. Tony dodges and throws the wolves off to the side of him. He's using his stick like a kung fu master. The wolves attack from every which way, but Tony Pepperoni is able to fend them off. He takes a slapshot as if one of the wolves was the puck and the wolf goes flying into another wolf. Tony Pepperoni then dashes forward and body checks one of the other wolves into the side of the building. The wolves eyes do a cartoon-like bulge out as if his eyes were being squeezed and popped out of it's head.
Tony: Had enough?
The wolves scamper away, Tony looks satisfied.
Tony: I'll be ready for you when we meet again.
Graphic for the SHL CC finals goes up with all the details.

Code:
3.

I think it's great if kids are looking up to me as a player now. I'd say the most important things about my game are my work ethic in practice. I'm always training to be better every day on the ice. I'm always around the rink or in the gym working on some part of my game whether it's speed or strength or working on my positioning. I think the best thing you can do is to make sure you know how to look at your own game and find your weaknesses and then work on them. I think believing that you are really good so you don't have to work very hard is one of the worst mentalities that you can have in hockey. So you should definitely practice every day and make sure to do the things that you are worse at. If you only practice what you are good at, you'll never really improve as an all around player. I pride myself on my two way game and my skill, so to be well rounded it's a full time job. So keep practicing and dedicate yourself to the craft of playing hockey!

Code:
4.

The team I tend to play well against has to be Detroit. Detroit is our biggest rival and I can't help but get excited when we play them. I think I get more focused and try to bring my game to another level. I'll do anything to help my team win against Detroit. Whenever you play your rival, you want to go out there and be a difference maker. It is more prominent in your mind than when you are playing another team you don't have as much of a disdain for. So that really juices me up and gets me to go all out in those games in particular.

Code:
9.

A. I think that the trio that Edmonton brought in are going to have a bigger impact than the trio from New England. They have already combined for 36 points together compared to New England guys' 27. I also think that New England is having so much success off of Gordie Boomhover @gordieboom that everyone else's efforts on that team will look quieter.

B. Gordie Boomhover is my first pick. He’s a beast of a player and also my ex teammate from St. Louis. He’s dominating the playoffs right now and leading the Wolfpack in points with 18. So he’s my easy pick.

My next two forward picks are being taken from Edmonton. I’m taking Teddy Cuddles and Tony Pepperoni. Not only are these guys studs in this playoffs with 18 points each, they’ve also got some of the best names in hockey.

On defense I’m taking Brady Mcintyre from Edmonton who has 16 points this playoffs, and averaging just over 26 minutes per game.

My second defensive pick is going to be Perry Morgan from the Wolfpack. Morgan has 13 points and is a +13. An absolute 5v5 monster.

C. I think Johannes Leitner is the goaltender with the edge in this playoffs. The simple fact that the Wolfpack has only let in 34 goals in these playoffs compared to the 61 goals let in by the Blizzard tells most of the story for me. I think the Wolfpack are playing great defense in front of their goaltender, so I'd say he has the edge in this matchup.

D. I hinted to this in one of my other answers, but my favorite name in this matchup is Tony Pepperoni. It just rolls right off of the tongue and it makes me think of that show the Sopranos which I love. So yeah, Tony Pepperoni is an amazing name and definitely the best one in the challenge cup finals.

E. Right now I'd love to be eating some nice salami. No offense to hotdogs which I also enjoy, but that salty cured italian meat is just something special. You can also pair it with some great cheese and a beer or wine and really make a meal out of it. Since summer is over now, I'll have to go with salami over hotdogs.

DaftRaincloud · 09-14-2019, 10:10 PM

4. Written, 2 TPE
Looking through the games that I played this season it appears to me that the team I play best against is the Anaheim Outlaws, which is funny because I love the city of Anaheim and the theme park that lives therein. The Anchorage Armada played the Outlaws five times this season and during those games Jonas recorded 2 goals and 3 assists, for a point per game average when playing against the Outlaws. It would be hard to match that pace against any other team. Maybe it was the day spent at Disneyland before games, but Jonas just had a little pep in his step when he got out on the ice in orange county.

8. Podcast, 3 or 4 TPE
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0jbFJArp43w

1. Written, 3 TPE
I am booking front row seats to the games in Edmonton and getting the biggest suite at the Fairfield Hotel MacDonald. I am going by myself because I don't want any distractions when I take in the action going on down at the ice. Why Edmonton and not Boston? Perhaps I'm biased, but in the limited amount of time I have spent in Canada (mostly in Calgary) the people have all been very warm and welcoming and I would like to be around some polite people while trying to enjoy myself. Once I am done watching the games I can go out on the town and enjoy some poutine for the first time and enjoy some shopping at the largest mall in North America, the West Edmonton Mall. Maybe after that I could go out and enjoy some museums or the botanical gardens and really get a sense of what the city of Edmonton is all about and what the team there means to the fans.

Julio Tokolosh · 09-15-2019, 01:32 AM

1
As a presumed healthy scratch, I’ll actually have all-expense paid team box seats to all of the games. However, I’ll be taking advantage of the league’s generosity by taking my boys out in bean town. Many of them are from there, so they already know the spots, it will all just be on Eggy’s tab. It’s a 10PM puck drop (although the broadcast isn’t until the following morning). Game 4 is the first potential series clincher, so a full day of pregaming with the cup potentially in the building would be a special memory for everyone. Many of my friends are from the area, so the budget would be put towards transportation and housing for my family and out of town guests. If there was a series clinching game, that would be pretty cool and would be a blast to go out afterwards in the city, but as a healthy scratch, i’ll probably get away with hitting the bottle even the series is 2-2 after the evening.

2
The scene opens on a dark, back-lit room. Julio Tokolosh’s silhouette is visible in the foreground. The lights swivel, flashing over lightly floating bits of dust in the air, to illuminate Julio Tokolosh. He stands center frame, feet at shoulder width, looking squarely into the camera with a serious expression on his face.
“I’m Julio Tokolosh - ”
Jump cut to extreme close up of his face, and then back to the full shot.
“- Forward -”
Jump cut to a close up of skating feet/skates digging in to accelerate on the ice.
“- For the Edmonton Blizzard. I don’t play often, but when I do, I know that long shifts are the key to helping out my partners and helping us achieve our goal.”
Jump cut to julio on the bench, looking back at the coach, as he slides towards the center of the bench.
“And to make my shifts last longer, I prepare with ‘Roman Wipes’!”
Jump cut to a close up of the box in julio’s hand, and then return to a wide shot.
“With the help of Roman Wipes, I'm up to about 4 and a half minutes of action, which is perfectly respectable. It's something that a lot of young players struggle with. This is the only special unit time that I need. I’m not getting any man advantage time, but sharing this with all of you, is the only PeePee helper that I need!”
End.

4
Keygan, Tommy and the Blizzard staff have put a lot of effort into canceling the efforts of Ensio Kailju. An ex-blizzard defenseman, traded to New England halfway through the season, Ensio knows the secrets of both locker rooms. I’m not sure of the SHL’s policy, but he might be the first player to be eligible to receive a ring for both challenge cup competitors (regular season games played for former team and post season games played for latter team). Personally, I am yet to excel, but according to my stat sheet, i am quite adept at scoring inconsequential goals in blowout victories.

6
[Image: 9cKiJd1.png]

7

9
A. Jordan Von Matt is the easy decision for multiple reasons. First and firstmostly he has been the heaviest contributor to his team. While Ensio Kalju and Anders Christiansen have certainly pulled their weight on their respective back ends, Jordan Von Matt has the highest rate of offensive production paired with an extremely responsible defensive skill set. They say plus / minus is only really a measure of defenseman, and only during the post season. Going a cool plus 10 is pretty legit. Plus, with a three word name, its easy to get that word count up. definitely a note for my next build.
B. Eko Van Otter, Marc Hagan, Julio Tokolosh, Thomas Bathory, and Fynn Rhyse. The game is about speed and youth and progress, and this line up offers a nice snapshot of the future of the sport. Each player is a hard working locker room guy with the right balance of finesse and grit. Tokolosh is so-so, but what kind of cuck doesn't put himself in his own line up? In real life, my wife has a hall pass with Tom Wilson (only because Brooks Laich left the capitals), but in SHL its about pride, and not my wife's happiness. (plus he's got a girlfriend, so even if she tracks him down, I'll be ok. don't meet your heros).
C. Tommy Tuck has the advantage because of the superior defensive pairings that will be playing in front of him, the balanced forward units that will be supporting them, the team discipline to create far fewer penalty kill scenarios, and he has already been here before; his experience will guide him. Plus, with Eko Van Otter and Przemyslaw Brzeszczyczkiewicz lobbing in muffins, Tuck's numbers are going to get a tiny bump.
D. Przemyslaw Brzeszczyczkiewicz is a great player and a great name. not for writing, though. for the past few seasons i have just abbreviated it as Prz Brz, but now that he is on the grandest stage, I will honor him with his full name by means of copying and pasting. Przemyslaw Brzeszczyczkiewicz. After I found out what he had done with my mother, i swore revenge, but with a tiny peen 4:20 per night, i will hold this L for another time. Przemyslaw Brzeszczyczkiewicz has bested me and my family again.

12
submitted

*Carpy48* · 09-15-2019, 06:11 AM

Quote:1. Written, 3 TPE
VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Boston or Games 3 and 4 in Edmonton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab?? (150+ word)

I'll obviously pick Boston. Why obviously? I simply feel like I have more of a connection the city than I have to Edmonton. Technically I’m a bit neutral towards both teams (and I know a few players on each team, so it’s hard to choose from that perspective), but since I have to pick one, I’ll pick a team that plays in a city I like and know a little bit (so I can skip some of the touristy stuff). Also if I can get any hotel I want – and I know about Boston hotel prices too well – that’s going to be extra nice. I’ll pick one that conveniently located somewhere central (probably in Back Bay, because I like the area) and I’m going to eat a lot. My first stop is likely going to be Mike’s Pastry in Cambridge and after literally rolling out of there after eating too much, I’ll probably walk around a bit the area there. Then I’m ready for the game. Repeat the same for game two. I’ll work out the details for the rest of the day later.

Quote:3. Written, 3 TPE
As a professional hockey player, you have made a name for yourself. So much so that college, high school and hockey players even younger then that are taking notice! If young players wanted to model their game after you how would you best describe your playing style? What specific traits does your player possess that younger players should try to emulate?(150+ words)

I’m not sure if I’ve made it that far already that – as a younger player – I would model my game after my own, but if they say so. First of all as a goalie you don’t have too many options. Style-wise I’m a hybrid goalie, because you can focus on all kinds of different traits so I can recommend that to someone just starting out and trying different styles. You want to focus on your primary attributes mostly and choose them wisely. The best option is to make all of them your strengths and work from there. Another trait that is extremely important, probably more important than any of the others: patience. It’s very likely that you will start your career on the bench. You’ll spend a LOT of time there, watching your goalie partner start game after game until you get to play one and yet you have to be supportive. It pays off in the end. Never give up.

Quote:5. Graphic, 2 TPE
Simple and straightforward - make a promotional poster for the S49 CC Finals. Must include at least one player render and the logos and names of both teams. Option A: make a good graphic. Option B: make a shitty graphic. Either will receive TPE.

Quote:9. Written, up to 5 TPE
Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

Quote:A. Each of these teams has acquired some big name players recently and, with each in the CC finals, it's tough to argue with the results. Edmonton brought in TJ Bayley, Jordan Von Matt, and Terrance Nova; New England acquired Noah Konn, Ensio Kalju, and Anders Christiansen. Which of these six players will have the biggest impact on this series?

I’m going to pick Terrance Nova here and the reason here is simply experience. He’s an aging player, but he brings tons of experience to his new team. Not only has he been around a lot, he also knows how to produce. He was one of the best players on Minnesota (one word: S46), and both during the regular season and during the playoffs so far with Edmonton he showed that he still knows how to make an impact.

Quote:B. Build your ideal SHL Fantasy Team (F, F, F, D, D) out of the players appearing in the finals and explain your choices.

F Eko Van Otter Wolfpack

: Well, because he’s an otter (and this is fantasy)!
F Gordie Boomhover Wolfpack

: Insane shooting percentage and wins face-offs.
F Teddy Cuddles Blizzard

: Can really be used in any situation and is useful (also top-scorer on his team so far).
D Brady McIntyre Blizzard

: Scores, hits, blocks shots. What more do you want? Only 2 PIMs (so far)!
D Tor Tuck Blizzard

: See above, also they usually play together, so they know how to be effective.

Why no goalies? Either way, I'd add Johannes Leitner (

) here, so it's 3 and 3 from each team.

Quote:C. Johannes Leitner was a stud in net for the Wolfpack this year, posting one of the better statistical seasons for a goaltender since..... Tommy Tuck, of Edmonton, back in S45, one of the best goalie seasons ever. Who has the advantage in the crease this season?

It’s going to be difficult. Will Leitner be able to keep it up? It’s certainly going to be close, but I believe that he can do it. However, I don’t believe that it completely depends on the goalie here, in the end the better team will win. Or maybe whoever has more luck in the end, you can’t judge this by goalie stats only.

Quote:D. What's your favorite player name on either team? why?

In this case I will go with Eko van Otter, I’ve liked it since the beginning (we were in the same draft class). Sure, there are other fun choices, but this one is straight to the point. He’s an otter. Of course there’s also my favorite hockey playing cow that made it to the finals as well (hi Julio!), but this is purely about names, so the otter it is.

Quote:E. These two teams are both sporting SALTY MEAT as co-GMs - Tommy Salami for Edmonton and hotdog for New England. Which would you rather eat right now - a salami or a hotdog?

My choice is the salami: on a salami pizza for example. I don’t really eat hotdogs that often and the question was about ‘right now’. I hope this really only refers to the names and not the people behind that name, because it’s not a wise choice to eat a team’s co-GM, while they’re still in the playoffs, but this is an entirely different topic. I simply think you can do more with a salami, so that's my choice.

Quote:12. 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - Casual Member Special - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR"

Done!

***SDCore*** · 09-15-2019, 11:35 AM

NSFL Claim

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE 

VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Boston or Games 3 and 4 in Edmonton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab?? (150+ words)

I would attend the Game 1 and Gam 2 in Boston. The reason for this is because I summer in Ireland and Boston is a better city to travel to. Also, I like the East Coast and Boston seems like it would fit well with my Irish nature. While there I’d probably try to get dinner with Eko Van Otter @hotdog and @bbjygm Slap McShotty, who are both playing for the New England Wolfpack. Also, Boston is a fun city and I’m sure some friends who meet up and we would go get drinks. Obviously if this is all on Eggys tab, I would be staying at the nicest hotel and also eating at the finest dining establishments. Meritage on the wharf has a fantastic 6 course vineyard to table menu. I would probably hit that up with a few friends and then have a night on the town. I would probably then check out the Kinsale Irish Pub, since Kinsale is my hometown and see how that is, but most likely disappointing.

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE

As a professional hockey player, you have made a name for yourself. So much so that college, high school and hockey players even younger then that are taking notice! If young players wanted to model their game after you how would you best describe your playing style? What specific traits does your player possess that younger players should try to emulate?(150+ words)

My player is smart, heady, and likes to play fast. Defensive responsibility and positioning are important, but not when it lacks speed and creativity. My player is going to go all out when the team needs to make a play on offense. Definitely more of an offensive minded defensive player, who wants to shoot first and pass second. A hard shot from the point who can put shots on net and get good deflections in front. In his first full season was a menace on the powerplay because of this. Good on the breakout and decently strong in my own zone. Not very physical, but not afraid to shy away from making hits. Early in his development defense was the most important, this was to make sure that the fundamentals were emphasized. Now that he has made the league, working on being a elite skating and puck handler is the most important thing to increase production.

Code:
9. Written, up to 5 TPE

Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Each of these teams has acquired some big name players recently and, with each in the CC finals, it's tough to argue with the results. Edmonton brought in TJ Bayley, Jordan Von Matt, and Terrance Nova; New England acquired Noah Konn, Ensio Kalju, and Anders Christiansen. Which of these six players will have the biggest impact on this series?

C. Johannes Leitner was a stud in net for the Wolfpack this year, posting one of the better statistical seasons for a goaltender since..... Tommy Tuck, of Edmonton, back in S45, one of the best goalie seasons ever. Who has the advantage in the crease this season?

D. What's your favorite player NAME on either team? why? (note: not who's your favorite player. which player name)

E. These two teams are both sporting SALTY MEAT as co-GMs - Tommy Salami for Edmonton and hotdog for New England. Which would you rather eat right now - a salami or a hotdog?

A.) TJ Bayley, Jordan Von Matt, and Terrance Nova will have the biggest impact on the ice. This is because they are going to be playing big minutes for an already stacked team. New England is younger, so the impact is far less then established vets. This is why I think Edmonton will have the bigger impact.
C.) Tommy Tuck has the advantage. While Leitner was a total stud this year, Tommy Tuck has the legacy and history. He has done it before and has shut other teams down. While he did have a down year last year, he has returned to form and appears to be just as solid.
D.) Eko Van Otter, I mean otters are cute, but it sounds so regal, yet he is so not regal. It gives you this false sense of royalty. Yet, he is just a cute little otter pop. Plus, Eko like the league of legends character mixed with a cute little furry makes you wonder about the player.
E.) First and foremost, hotdogs are sandwiches and they are delicious. So obviously I would eat hot dog, because I love sandwiches and I love things that are delicious. More importantly hot dogs are sandwiches, which I think is the moral of this whole thing. Hot dogs are delicious and I would eat them. @hotdog :yum:

Code:
12. 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - Casual Member Special - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR"

Done.

Psanchez55 · 09-15-2019, 11:37 AM

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...t&p=106213

Casual Member Special

CFJ · 09-15-2019, 02:34 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE
VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Boston or Games 3 and 4 in Edmonton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab??

Definitely Games 1 & 2 in Boston just cause it's just in a different country and also those games set the tone for the Challenge Cup Finals. Being in a lot of Championship Final games with my last player and being in one recently with my new player. Series being tied 1-1 and a team being up 2-0 in a series can really show what momentum the Finals has for either EDM or NEW. The Challenge Cup Finals is also based on the amount of luck a certain team gets during the Finals as well. In terms of what I'm putting on Eggy's tab is a lot of food, drinks, racking up the hotel room service bill along with the Penthouse Suite that'll be booking along with the amount of women that Prince Devitt will bringing in them into the Penthouse Suites, aha. Also anything that's the Boston Bruins I will buying a burning as using that apart of a bonfire for a tail gate cook out before Games 1 and 2 so Edmonton fans can join.

2. Written, 3 TPE
Companies will have to pay a whopping $3 million dollars to run a 30-second ad during this seasons Challenge Cup Championship series. That lofty price tag might be worth it, as hundreds of millions of people across the globe tuned in for the SHL finals in season 48! Task: The league is now accepting commercial scripts for the Challenge Cup. Create a grandiose commercial script involving a player in the finals or something promoting an SHL related product! Script should detail the setting for the commercial.

I would definitely have Commissioner @Eggy216 in an NWO style commercial with him up on a podium announcing the teams and key players for each side. And having @Ace cutting a shoot promo against his former team first praising the team for the memories that the memories he has but at the end saying that'll he show no remorse against the team and is looking forward to destroy them in the Challenge Cup Finals. In between those two speeches there will be the best moments from both teams in the SHL Playoffs so far including hits, goals, key moments in both of the teams last playoff series. With Edmonton facing rival town team in Calgary and New England facing a divisional rival in the Manhatten Rage. There will be a lot of sound bytes from the players throughout the playoffs that will be filling in the rest of the commercial showing viewers the mind games and nitty gritty of the teams that have made it this far to the Challenge Cup Finals.

3. Written, 3 TPE
As a professional hockey player, you have made a name for yourself. So much so that college, high school and hockey players even younger then that are taking notice! If young players wanted to model their game after you how would you best describe your playing style? What specific traits does your player possess that younger players should try to emulate?

Prince Devitt plays hard and an physically demanding game by also a very selfless player showing great puck handling skills to set up teammates in open lanes on the forcheck. As you see in his first teammates at the Junior Level, Prince Devitt has way more assists then goals as scoring isn't his strong suit. Also, a stat that has been really showing Prince Devitt's style of play is Shot Blocking and getting into the shooting lanes of the opposition averaging at least 1 or 2 Blocks per game. He helps save the energy of the goalie and helps the team out when going on the offensive. So overall Prince Devitt's game-style is very demanding on the body but is rewarding to the Kelowna Knights and himself going forward.

9. Written, up to 5 TPE
Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Each of these teams has acquired some big name players recently and, with each in the CC finals, it's tough to argue with the results. Edmonton brought in TJ Bayley, Jordan Von Matt, and Terrance Nova; New England acquired Noah Konn, Ensio Kalju, and Anders Christiansen. Which of these six players will have the biggest impact on this series?

It easily has to be Terrance Nova as he's one of those players that is a game breaker and Edmonton picked him up in the off-season to do just that, be that impact player that Edmonton could rely in key situation in the game on a day in and day out basis. And he's done that so far in the playoffs with the experience that he brings to the Challenge Cup Finals.

B. Build your ideal SHL Fantasy Team (F, F, F, D, D) out of the players appearing in the finals and explain your choices.
F - Terrance Nova
F - Teddy Cuddles
F - Manuel Gotze
D - Tigole Bitties
D - Tor Tuck

With Terrance Nova I explained last question that he is a game breaker and can end a game or put a game out of reach just by himself. Teddy Cuddles a now veteran of the Edmonton Blizzard is a reliable two way forward that gets the job done each night playing for the Blizzard. With Manuel Gotze he's the highest TPE forward on the WolfPack and a big part of their offence. With the two defencemen I picked the best to in the series in a former forward turned defencemen in Tigole Bitties and Tor Tuck one of the more consistent defencemen in the SHL at the moment.

C. Johannes Leitner was a stud in net for the Wolfpack this year, posting one of the better statistical seasons for a goaltender since..... Tommy Tuck, of Edmonton, back in S45, one of the best goalie seasons ever. Who has the advantage in the crease this season?

I'll be going with the veteran netminder in this one in Tommy Tuck. He's been there and done that with the Edmonton Blizzard being there starter for many seasons right now. Also the defence of the Edmonton Blizzard will help out Tuck in tough situations when they have their backs against the world in a potential offensive flurry from the Wolfpack when the series is being played out.

E. These two teams are both sporting SALTY MEAT as co-GMs - Tommy Salami for Edmonton and hotdog for New England. Which would you rather eat right now - a salami or a hotdog?

Isn't a HotDog a Sandwich a big debate right there. But I would have some Roasted Salami on some pizza right now if you have to make me choose between Salami and a hotdog. There's a lot of ways you could use Salami on a Sandwich, Pizza etc. While a Hotdog is just a Hotdog, not much you can do there.

12. Sent!

Thanks to prettyburn, TML, Carpy, JNH, Jepox, Engi, Karey, Flappy, Skolpadder, Mook, DollarAndADream, Smirnov and Toe for the sigs.

Code:
Crossfit's First Career SHL Goal, 4. Manhattan Rage , Crossfit Jesus 1 (Pedro Sarantez, Nucky Toohoots) at 5:51

Code:
Devitt's First Career SHL Goal, 5. Calgary Dragons , Prince Devitt 1 (Barry Batsbak 21, Mike Izzy 14) at 10:43

*Buster* · 09-15-2019, 03:09 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE 

VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Boston or Games 3 and 4 in Edmonton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab?? (150+ words)

On the commissioner's dime, I have chosen to go to game 3 and 4 in Edmonton. Though Boston is a much pretty, much more historic area to spend a lot of money in, I have a huge personal connection to Edmonton and I would love to celebrate with that community. My two most successful players, Teemu Nurmi and Jamie Hawkins, both spent time with the Blizzard. Teemu Nurmi was especially successful, winning the cup in both S15 and S16. As such, I'd love with Cleary to have some connection with the city if not on the ice. On Eggy's tab, I would spend as much money as possible on the fans who show up for each and every game. The ones who really love the Blizzard. I'd love to be able to buy them beer , buy them food, pay for parking. Pretty much anything that improves the diehard fans in game experience. Oh and there would be a giant Oliver Cleary ice sculpture in my box but that is irrelevant.

Code:
171 words

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE

Companies will have to pay a whopping $3 million dollars to run a 30-second ad during this seasons Challenge Cup Championship series. That lofty price tag might be worth it, as hundreds of millions of people across the globe tuned in for the SHL finals in season 48! 

Task: The league is now accepting commercial scripts for the Challenge Cup. Create a grandiose commercial script involving a player in the finals or something promoting an SHL related product! Script should detail the setting for the commercial. (*tag anyone involved) (150+ words)

The Challenge Cup. It is what kids on Canadian ponds are dreaming about. Every kid dreams of scoring that game 7 goal in overtime to win the Challenge Cup for his side. Winning the Challenge Cup brings you on a road to immortality. Some say it would complete it. This season, Edmonton and New England both enter. New England will continue to rely on their superstar goaltender Johannes Leitner @AndrewWarren13. Edmonton counters with a high octane offence, lead by superstar forward Tony Pepperoni @TommySalami and defensemen Tor Tuck @ErM. Both teams will enter with the goal of scoring that game 7 overtime goal, of becoming immortal in the eyes of hockey history. Though both will enter, only one will remain, taking their place on the top of the hockey mountain. Make sure to catch all the action as the S49 Challenge Cup finals will take place only on the SHL Network, this Wednesday at 7pm.

Code:
155 words

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE

As a professional hockey player, you have made a name for yourself. So much so that college, high school and hockey players even younger then that are taking notice! If young players wanted to model their game after you how would you best describe your playing style? What specific traits does your player possess that younger players should try to emulate?(150+ words)

Being a younger player who is still trying to develop an offensive game at the higher SHL level, I've committed myself much more to the defensive side of the puck. As of right now, I'd describe myself as a stay at home defensive defensemen who focus on keeping the puck out of his own end and shovelling the puck up to more offensive players. My goal is also to support my more offensive partners, which in my current case is potential defensemen of the year Jon Toner. I led in steals per game this season and had a healthy amount of hits so I'm both focused on using my stick to steal pucks and using the body to take players out of the play. If you really want to emulate my style, I would watch on how I control the zone. At 6'3”, I have a good wingspan and I really try to use that to cut down on defenders entering the zone. If I can slow them down, I open up the potential for either a steal or a hit which allows the puck to move the other way.

Code:
190 words

Code:
4. Written, 2 TPE

Right now both coaching staffs are creating game plans around the players who have performed historically well against the forthcoming opponent. The reality is that every player has some teams they play better against than others. Which team from the SHL or SMJHL do you seem to do extra well against every time? and why do you think that you play so well against that team specifically? (100+ words)

I think that this might end up being a bit of a cop-out answer, but I think I do well against any top team in the West. As a stay at home defensemen, a lot of my game is depended on not being noticed. If I'm not noticed on the ice, I'm not making mistakes. I do well against top teams because this gives me a chance to elevate my game and learn from the best. Any time we face a Calgary or an Edmonton, I spend that day really motivated to go out and play great defensively against that team and when I'm motivated I play my best. It becomes a situation of greatness raising greatness. Though my stats may not show it, those are the games I feel like I'm playing my best defensive games.

Code:
137 words

Code:
9. Written, up to 5 TPE

Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify. 

A. Each of these teams has acquired some big name players recently and, with each in the CC finals, it's tough to argue with the results. Edmonton brought in TJ Bayley, Jordan Von Matt, and Terrance Nova; New England acquired Noah Konn, Ensio Kalju, and Anders Christiansen. Which of these six players will have the biggest impact on this series?

B. Build your ideal SHL Fantasy Team (F, F, F, D, D) out of the players appearing in the finals and explain your choices.

C. Johannes Leitner was a stud in net for the Wolfpack this year, posting one of the better statistical seasons for a goaltender since..... Tommy Tuck, of Edmonton, back in S45, one of the best goalie seasons ever. Who has the advantage in the crease this season?

D. What's your favorite player NAME on either team? why? (note: not who's your favorite player. which player name)

E. These two teams are both sporting SALTY MEAT as co-GMs - Tommy Salami for Edmonton and hotdog for New England. Which would you rather eat right now - a salami or a hotdog?

A. I think that New England's big three will have a bigger impact in the finals. Though between Nova and Christiansen the top of each trio is very stronger, the bottom 2 of each is where I see the discrepency. I just don't have the same faith in either Bayley or Von Matt as I do in Konn and Kalju. Konn is a superstar and Kalju is on the cusp.

Code:
69 words

B. F- Rafe Ulrich, New England – A great power forward who can do it all
F- Manual Gotze, New England – Christiansen might be a sexier pick, but Gotze puts up similar shots and trades points for a ton more hits.
F- Tony Pepperoni – Put up 25 goals while not sacrificing in other areas
D- Tigole Bitties, New England – 88 shot blocks is a great amount of points while his other stats aren't lagging too far behind.
D- Tor Tuck, Edmonton – Still puts up a great amount of hits, shot blocks and points. Easy choice to put up a ton of fantasy points every season.

Code:
108 words

C. You may end up calling this a “what have you done for me lately” style prediction, but I think New England and Johannes Leitner had the advantage coming into this series. Though Tuck is still a good goalie, he had a sub .900 save percentage while Leitner was a stud in net. Leitner also pulled New England straight through Manhatten. I'll always take the guy playing well now.

Code:
68 words

D. My favourite name on either team is easily Edmonton's Tony Pepperoni. Honestly, it doesn't take much to make me laugh over something. Tony Pepperoni tickles every funny bone in my body mostly because pepperoni is a fun word to say and it rolls off the tongue really well. I'll likely be repeating it in my head all day.

Code:
58 words

E. If I had to choose either a salami or a hotdog to eat right now, I would choose a hotdog. Being that we're going to the arena to watch hockey, a hotdog just feels more like a hockey food. Places like the Bell Centre in Montreal even have such a focus on making the perfect hotdog.

Code:
56 words

16/16

Steelhead77 · 09-15-2019, 03:29 PM

TASK 1: 3 TPE

With pot being legal in Massachusetts now I'm definitely choosing games 1 and 2 in Boston. It's a fun city to visit regardless, lots of history and tons of bars and colleges, so there's always some kind of night life going on. Now that you can also legally buy weed it's a no brainer. If allowed I would spend all of eggy's money on high end OG Kush, but I'm assuming that's not allowed, so I would book a suite at a 5 star hotel right on the harbor, order tons of room service, hopefully they have a decent chicken parm and run up his tab. I'd also take the opportunity to visit some historic sites down town and maybe do that freedom tour I've head about where they drive you around on a trolley or something and you check out all the historic sites. While being completely zooted, this would be a lot of fun. I'd then enjoy the game, rooting for Edmonton for the sole reason that while I like the Wolfpack more, Calgary owns New England's 1st round pick this year so if they lose it's pick 15 instead of 16.

TASK 3: 3 TPE

It's hard to emulate my playing style because I'm 7'0" 350 pounds. I would describe my playing style as a graceful sasquatch on ice. I'm strong on the puck and nobody can put a body on me. Surprisingly fast for my size and with elite skill and playmaking. I always go into the corner and come out with the puck because I can easily shrug off opposing players and shield the puck with my giant ass. I also have good footwork along the boards, obviously. The specific traits I possess that young players should try an emulate is more my attitude and work ethic. Off the ice I'm a respectful big man who works hard to be the best and I carry myself with class. On the ice I'm not a dirty player but I will out work everyone for every inch and play with a serious edge, you are the enemy on the ice, do not get in my way. Off the ice we can have a few dozen beers and eat a 6 foot sub together.

TASK 4. Written, 2 TPE

I've been an SMJHL player for a few seasons now for Halifax, finally getting the call to the SHL this upcoming season. During my time in juniors I played well against a lot of teams, but specifically Detroit. During my first run in the SMJHL 900 seasons ago, I was a Detroit player and then later was Detroit GM for 3 seasons before starting with Calgary. Detroit always held a special place in my heart and was somewhere I wanted to go back to, but things change, now they are the enemy and a big rival of Halifax. It's not hard for me to get hyped up when we face the Falcons. I always make sure I ramp my game up to another level when we play them, especially in Detroit, I want to win all those games. I have no idea how many points I have against them, but I'm guessing it's a fair amount given my overall production in the league the last couple seasons. They’re a good team, but it's not hard for me to get fired up to play them.

TASK 9: 5 TPE

A. I think Ensio Kalju will have a big impact for New England in the series, he logs a ton of minutes and can provide offense as well as shut down defense, evident by his 9 points in the first 11 games leading up the finals and 20 blocks. Terrance Nova on Edmonton could have a big impact also, he's produced 13 points in 19 post-season games and could continue to play well in the finals as a veteran.

B. Tough one, lots of great players, but I'd have to go with Teddy Cuddles as F1, he's a scorer and big time hitter, Willy Mack as F2, he's been scoring a lot of goals and throws a few hits, then Rafe Ulrich as F3, good scoring and racks up decent hit totals. Tor Tuck would be my D1, all around game, hits, points, blocks along with Tigole Bitties as D2 for the same reasons, offense, hits and blocks, they both have a well rounded fantasy game.

C. Leitner probably had the edge all season based on his excellent play during the regular and he was pretty solid in the first couple rounds. It's close though because Tommy Tuck held up against a strong Calgary offense and then New Orleans, so he can't be counted out. As of now I'd have to say edge to Tuck in the finals since he has a little more experience in the playoffs, but as always could go either way.

D. Easy, it's gotta be Tigole Bitties. Clearly everyone is a fan of big ol' titties and I think we all know what Ace was implying here when he named his player. It's also a good name that works to throw off opponents because their mind goes straight to titties when they see it. Well played by Ace on this name, hopefully he gets it engraved on the cup.

E. I'd have to say hot dog, because while summer has technically ended, it's still hot dog season, plus we just had a big conversation about coney island hot dogs in the calgary room, so I really want to mow through some hot dogs right now. There's lots of toppings you can go with also and even make a gourmet hot dog if you want. Nothing against Salami, it's great too, but gotta go with hot dogs right now given the season and my craving.

12. Trivia - 3 TPE

Answers PM'd.

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History -
- First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45

Dragonite

Fordyford · 09-15-2019, 06:19 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE
VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Boston or Games 3 and 4 in Edmonton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab??

in terms of cities I've never been to outside my playing career, I'd definitely pick Boston to go to, so that's why I'm heading there. Plus, at least I don't have to be in Alberta. And Eggy is gonna be paying a lot of money for my entire offseason conditioning team to come with me and stay in Boston, along with a hell of a lot of expensive alcohol. What can I say, I have expensive tastes, and if the commissioner is paying, you can be sure as hell that I'm having 3 course meals every night with the nicest alcohol I can manage, and Eggy had better be ready to accept that, or there'll be hell to pay when I go visit the league office on my way back to Los Angeles. I hope Eggy isn't too pleased about it because there's nothing I like more than yelling at head offices.

3. Written, 3 TPE
As a professional hockey player, you have made a name for yourself. So much so that college, high school and hockey players even younger then that are taking notice! If young players wanted to model their game after you how would you best describe your playing style? What specific traits does your player possess that younger players should try to emulate?(150+ words)

Tony Ford loves to get aggressive, put his opponents on the back foot right out the gate, and that's what he'd tell a young player all about. Hockey is a game all about momentum and there's no point playing if you aren't looking to win the mental game and win momentum. It makes the other team make mistakes, and somehow helps luck go your way. Get forward, move fast, don't give your opponents any breathing room, and most importantly, if they make a mistake, you gotta pounce on it. Obviously, other aspects of his game include his silky hands and his quick skating, followed by a shot from the Blue line that is almost unrivalled in the league. Goalies are never ready for a shot from the blue line, and if you can get someone in their eyeline, through a bit of team coordination, you've always got a decent shot on goal. That's basically the gist of his play style, but younger players trying to emulate him should make sure that they consider the defensive game too.

4. Written, 2 TPE
Right now both coaching staffs are creating game plans around the players who have performed historically well against the forthcoming opponent. The reality is that every player has some teams they play better against than others. Which team from the SHL or SMJHL do you seem to do extra well against every time? and why do you think that you play so well against that team specifically? (100+ words)

It's gotta be Toronto for me. This season, in my rookie season in the SHL, I scored my first ever goal, a game winner, against them, and put up more points against them, I believe, than against any other team this season. Obviously, I don't have a huge sample size yet, but I definitely hope that in the future, this trend continues and I can keep dunking on ml, because it's fun to watch him suffer. And who doesn't love beating up on the worst team of the league, I certainly do. Gotta keep that rebuild going strong, right?

9. Written, up to 5 TPE
Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Each of these teams has acquired some big name players recently and, with each in the CC finals, it's tough to argue with the results. Edmonton brought in TJ Bayley, Jordan Von Matt, and Terrance Nova; New England acquired Noah Konn, Ensio Kalju, and Anders Christiansen. Which of these six players will have the biggest impact on this series?
Anders Christiansen is such a strong forward that you can't deny his potential impact here. He produces just so many shots on goal that it's almost impossible to prevent him scoring eventually, and that's why he's definitely the strongest out of this bunch of strong recent acquisitions that these teams have made.
B. Build your ideal SHL Fantasy Team (F, F, F, D, D) out of the players appearing in the finals and explain your choices.
F Hercules Rockefeller - One of the more terrifying players in the league and not afraid to score, he's likely to end up as playoff mvp if he can perform in the finals.
F Rafe Ulrich - one of New England's best, the Wolfpack will be glad to have Ulrich on the team in this series, else they might struggle with scoring
F Teddy Cuddles - another sure future hall of famer, Cuddles is a forward that even the best goalies hope to avoid playing against
D Brady McIntyre - Noone can deny the impact of McIntyre, one of the best player in the league for a few seasons now, undeniably a scary sight for any opposition.
D Perry Morgan - his desperate hunger for assists this postseason makes him a scary defenseman to come up against

C. Johannes Leitner was a stud in net for the Wolfpack this year, posting one of the better statistical seasons for a goaltender since..... Tommy Tuck, of Edmonton, back in S45, one of the best goalie seasons ever. Who has the advantage in the crease this season?
Leitner had such an absurdly good regular season and postseason thus far, that you can't believe his luck will continue. Tommy Tuck on the other hand, has yet to have his luck begin. We'll see which of them can perform in the finals, but my money is on Tommy Tuck, to add one more to the Edmonton trophy cabinet.

D. What's your favorite player NAME on either team? why? (note: not who's your favorite player. which player name)
This one has to go to Eko Van Otter, who, while being one of my personal best friends on the site, also has an amazing name. Every time you think of his strong and scary forward, you actually think of cute animals in the river (or sea) and cant help but want to hug him, instead of stopping him score goals.

E. These two teams are both sporting SALTY MEAT as co-GMs - Tommy Salami for Edmonton and hotdog for New England. Which would you rather eat right now - a salami or a hotdog?
hotdog. Sorry, Tommy, but I could really use the processed meat feeling right about now, and boy would a hotdog be nice. The onions, the sauce, a hotdog is a complete meal, whereas a salami just doesn't cut it (I haven't had a proper meal for 2 days tbh so im kinda super hungry) and that's basically why I really want a hotdog right about now this task is making me hungry....

12. Casual member special - PM Sent - 3 TPE

3 + 3 + 2 + 5 + 3= 16

rangersbruinslightning · 09-15-2019, 08:49 PM

Task 5: 2 TPE
[Image: task5.png]

Task 6: 3 TPE

[Image: Webp-net-resizeimage.png]

Task 7: 3 TPE

[Image: Webp-net-resizeimage.png]

Task 11: 3 TPE

[Image: Webp-net-resizeimage.png]

Task 12: 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer
SENT

MrStennett · 09-15-2019, 09:29 PM

1. PBE PT Affiliation

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE

As a professional hockey player, you have made a name for yourself. So much so that college, high school and hockey players even younger then that are taking notice! If young players wanted to model their game after you how would you best describe your playing style? What specific traits does your player possess that younger players should try to emulate?(150+ words)

If a young player wanted to emulate my playing style, I would say it's all about offense. Trust me. I'd feel really great saying that Barrett Blackwood is an all around player, but I think anyone who has watched him play knows differently. When you have Blackwood on your squad, you're getting a player who gives nightmares to opposing goalies. Over the last two seasons in the SMJHL, I scored eighty-eight points in one hundred games. Now that's some offensive efficiency for you right there. Two seasons ago, when I scored forty-one points, I was even on the team's second line. That means if you want to play hockey like Barrett Blackwood, you have to go out there on the ice always looking to put a puck in the net. You have to be keeping an eye on your line mates to hit them with a timely pass, but you definitely have to be keeping an eye on the goalie. At the first sign of weakness, that's when you rip off a wicked snapshot. That idiot won't even see it coming. (183 words)

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE

Companies will have to pay a whopping $3 million dollars to run a 30-second ad during this seasons Challenge Cup Championship series. That lofty price tag might be worth it, as hundreds of millions of people across the globe tuned in for the SHL finals in season 48!

Task: The league is now accepting commercial scripts for the Challenge Cup. Create a grandiose commercial script involving a player in the finals or something promoting an SHL related product! Script should detail the setting for the commercial. (*tag anyone involved) (150+ words)

The commercial opens on a spectacular kitchen, with Edmonton Blizzard star Tony Pepperoni wearing a tall chef's hat and white kitchen apron. On the counter in front of him is a large array of processed meats. He is holding a four foot stick of pepperoni out in front of himself. This is where the commercial opens up.

"Hi, you may recognize me as as Tony Pepperoni, Edmonton Blizzards' winger, but what you may not know is that I'm also a businessman. I'm here to introduce you to my like of quality meat products, 'Tony's Pepperonis and Other Fine Meats'. While you're watching me score against the Wolfpack, shouldn't you have the best snacks available to tame your hunger?"

*He holds up the pepperoni stick.*

"When you have Tony's Pepperoni or any of our other excellent products out during game time, you can be almost as popular as I am. I guarantee the quality of every item you purchase, and you should know that I've received hundreds of testimonials from people who are satisfied by.... uhm..... with Tony's Pepperoni."

What a commercial it was, and I'm sure he was only talking about cured meats. (193 words) @TommySalami

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE 

VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Boston or Games 3 and 4 in Edmonton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab?? (150+ words)

Well, I am of course going to the games in Edmonton, being that I'm a Blizzard prospect myself. Don't get me wrong, I would have already been going, but these seats in the VIP booth are killer. I'm not drinking at either of the games, because I'm assuming that a drunk prospect of one of the teams playing would go over incredibly well on TMZ and several local news stations. That doesn't mean I won't go out and have a good time with some of the other prospects after the games are over though. As for what I'm going to spend the commissioners incredibly generous money on, I'm hitting up the most exclusive restaurants in Edmonton before both games. The first night I'll be dining on lobster at Sabor, an incredibly posh seafood restaurant and the before the second game, I'll be going to Sofra, a Turkish place that is also a wine cellar. Okay, I never said I wasn't going to drink BEFORE the games either. I'm just not drinking during games. (173 words)

Code:
10. Written, 2 TPE - The Procrastinator Special!

Welp, you waited until the last day to grind out your CW and the CC finals are longggggggg over by now. congrats to [TEAM], woo! Reflecting back on the series, who gets your vote for series MVP? Make the case why this player deserves it over any other. (100+ words)

You wanna talk about who the MVP of the Championship Series is? If anyone thinks that it is anyone other than the main man Hercules Rockefeller himself, you can get the hell out. Talk about having yourself a series. He scored three goals and three assists in four games. Six points in four games! That's impressive in any four game span, but it's doubly impressive when you go off like that to win your team the cup. I mean, truthfully, he was just continuing the same level of domination that he's displayed throughout the entire playoffs, and it's lucky for Edmonton that he plays for them and not the Wolfpack. (110 words)

Code:
4. Written, 2 TPE

Right now both coaching staffs are creating game plans around the players who have performed historically well against the forthcoming opponent. The reality is that every player has some teams they play better against than others. Which team from the SHL or SMJHL do you seem to do extra well against every time? and why do you think that you play so well against that team specifically? (100+ words)

It's got to be those filthy Detroit Falcons. There is something about our rivalry that really brings out some extra game time passions from Barrett Blackwood. I have a long history of playing a solid game against them, whether I score or not. I usually have a positive plus minus and throw some hits to boot. It always feels good when you can put up a top notch effort, but when you can do it repeatedly against one of your most hated rivals, that's something truly special. All I know is that if I could play the Falcons for fifty games a season, I'd be in extremely good shape. 109 words

GeckoeyGecko · 09-15-2019, 11:17 PM

1: Eggy's made a mistake. Letting Takshak go wild in Boston on somebody else's money? The city boutta run outta clam chowder, sweet baby jesus hide yo children hide yo clams because Takshak aint stopping now. He's going to Boston and he's gonna eat the entire damn city. It's honestly kinda weird that eggy would choose to do this, unless he's trying to make the Rage worse by turning Takshak into a 500 pound sphere of a defenseman. And I mean, there are better players to sabotage. Maybe Tokek has dirt on eggy? Eggy nudes? Honestly, though, Eggy a ho. He probably wants those leaked to satisfy one of his kinks. Anyhow, I have no idea why this is happening. But Boston has bomb ass food, so you know Tokek Takshak, gourmand extraordinaire, is gonna be there. He might not be at Rage training camp later, though.

2: 25 seconds of Tokek Takshak loudly eating a burrito as he complains about Luke Thomasons stranger locker room habits. Follow that up with a short, five second clip of the following: "Wish you had never heard that and never want to hear it again? The SHL Premium package for streaming and cable has no ads. Buy it." SHL logo flashes across the screen, another beer commercial starts up, and viewers flock to their phones to purchase a ridiculously priced subscription. Get outta here with your morals and shit, this would work and you know it. Luke spends upwards of three hours in the damn shower every game, and then invites us in to 'loOk At HoW wRiNkLy My ToEs ArE gUyS' and look you're already tuning out and thinking about how much you'd rather not have to listen to ads. just buy the subscription.

3: Wait, what? You're telling me that kids are aspiring to be a 900 tpe inactive defenseman? God damn, these kids need more motivation. People are gonna read this and be shocked that I did a single one of these CW tasks ok and kids are looking up to that? There are a couple of tools they'll need for it, though, so I guess I'll talk about them. Firstly, you gotta be a LR presence or you'll be cut in half and thats not good. Be shockingly lazy but not too shockingly lazy or you'll be cut from the team. Also dont play for a big nation in the IIHF or you prolly wont play. Also, go high in your draft class so that you get mentioned as a bust from time to time. These are all important but the most important thing is probably being a pylon on defense. That centres Tokek's entire style of play. Honestly, he's basically another winger.

9E: It'd be different if it were a sausage. But salami is inherently better than a cylinder of processed meat from who knows what, it's not really a discussion at all. Also, did you just call hot dogs salty? What kinda nasty ass hot dogs you been eating, dude? Honestly, though, maybe they're better. Who knows.

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