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***frithjofr*** · 09-20-2019, 03:00 PM

(Roughly 2k words, 2x draft media.)

Hey, I'm Darnell Johnson, and welcome to Chef Darnell - the show about hockey sized meals for hockey sized appetites. Today I'm taking you into my own kitchen to show you some of my draft day favorites to keep the Anchorage Armada fed. So grab your jock and start poking another hole in your belt, because today we're gonna be making a spread of party favorites for our upcoming draft parties. I'm hosting the Armada call-ups and rookies alike at my place again this year and can't wait to see what everybody thinks.

The veggie tray is a party staple for a reason, there's plenty of variety for everybody, even the pickiest eater. But the conventional veggie tray doesn't offer a lot of variety or healthy options, especially for growing boys like the Armada. I tend to plate veggies that have slightly better macros, trading in olives for slices of radish and adding snap peas into the mix. The key component of the veggie tray, though, is probably the dipping sauces. Ranch dressing is delicious, but also pretty unhealthy. I tend to swap it out for my hard hitting, protein packed French onion dip, recipe below. You can also plate up peanut butter as a healthy option for some of the lighter snacks, like the celery, and hummus for everybody else. Red pepper hummus ads the tiniest hint of heat and a nice sweetness throughout, while also almost doubling the protein per serving. It's a great option.

French Onion Dip

1 Cup of Tofu (Approx half a block)
3 Tablespoons unflavored Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 1/2 cups diced onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Begin by sweating the onions in the olive oil until nice and golden brown and slightly transparent, then remove from heat and cool. Go ahead and cube your tofu into quarter to half inch cubes and blend it in a food processor with your Greek yogurt and soy sauce. Once it's a nice, smooth texture you'll want to start stirring in your seasonings like the white pepper, garlic powder and salt. Finally, stir in your onions and leave it to cool. It's a good, protein packed take on a classic veggie tray classic. Hits a little harder and heavier than your typical dipper, though, so go easy.

While a veggie tray offers a nice place to gather and a nice variety to graze on, everybody's gonna want something a little heavier before long. Jake Primeau got the guys started on a taco kick a while back and it was initially kind of hard finding something everyone could agree on. Turns out I was just overthinking, and I went back to a classic. Ground beef, some seasoning, lots of cheese and flour tortillas. There's no need to over complicate things, and throwing together a simple, classic taco bar isn't much work at all. When you're dressing up for a party, there's no need to go all out. Mama's homestyle tacos will suit everyone just fine.

Jake's Primeau Tacos

2 lbs ground beef
2 Old El Paso Taco seasoning packets
1 bottle of your preferred sauce
As many flour tortillas as you can get your hands on
2 bags of "taco blend" shredded cheese
1/2 head of lettuce, shredded
1 tomato, diced
1/2 onion, dice

Start your beef out in a pan on medium-high, break up the brick as much as you can and start to browning. On the side prepare two cups of water and stir in your taco seasoning. Once the beef gets nice and brown all over, pour in your taco seasoning, reduce heat to low and let that baby simmer. Seriously, that's it. If you do anything more you're overdoing it. Prepare your oven to the lowest heat it can swing and lay your tortillas out on a baking sheet. Let them roll for about 10 minutes, just enough to warm. We're done. Pull your tortillas and dress them up how you please. Seriously, these are the easiest tacos ever, but they hit the spot.

If there's anyone of a more discerning eye, however, we can prepare some fancier, slightly more authentic tacos for the purist. This recipe can be as spicy or as sweet as you like depending on your choice of peppers, I prefer habanero for the heat and flavor they impart, but jalapenos are another common choice and seedless jalapenos present some of the pepper's spice while preserving its sweetness.

Game Time Steak Tacos

Meat:
2, 1lb flank steaks trimmed of all excess fat

Rub:
2 tablespoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon adobo seasoning
2 whole limes, cut into wedges

Marinade:
2 cups chopped cilantro
2 tablespoon fresh squeezed lime juice (roughly 1 lime)
1/2 cup olive oil
3 cloves garlic
2 habanero peppers, chopped (You can use more or less depending on size and preferred heat)
1 kiwi
2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper

Toppings:
2 limes, cut into wedges
1 block of queso fresco

I like to dice everything myself (while wearing non-latex rubber gloves) to give the marinade a fresh bouquet and get nice, rough chunks. Working it into a food processor is also a viable option. For me it works best to combine my dry ingredients in the bag I'm going to use to marinade as I process them, and add the wet ingredients last. Combine roughly half of the ingredients, wet and dry, in a gallon size ziploc bag and knead until mixed, then combine the rest in a second ziploc bag. You'll want one for each steak. Meanwhile we want to mix our kosher salt and adobo seasoning and begin juicing the limes into the mix until it turns a little shaggy. Lay your steaks out and give each a thorough rubdown with the seasoning, juicing additional lime over top periodically. Once they've been rubbed down, leave them to set at room temperature for probably 20 minutes to a half hour before submerging them into your prepared marinade. Ensure a generous coating of the cilantro marinade, then sit back. Kick your feet up for a few hours.

Cook the steaks in your preferred method, either on the grill or in a pan. I personally prefer to use a heavy cast iron myself to ensure nice, even cooking across the surface of the steaks. Once they're up to temp, around 135 degrees F, they're ready to be served. When cutting these bad boys, you'll want to find the grain of the meat and cut diagonal to the cutting board, opposite the grain of the meat. That'll ensure a nice, tender slice which is easy to maneuver in your tortilla. Juice a wedge of lime over top, crumble on some queso fresco, and punch your ticket to flavor town.

Now that we've got the social food and the appetizers out of the way, let's look at main courses. Everybody in town knows my barbecue is legendary, but I'm not quite ready to part with those recipes just yet - and, really, there's not so much of a recipe to part with, unless you count patience as an ingredient. But let's look at some ways we can spice up some everyday barbecue. I've got a name for my ribs, but truth be told, I've always felt like my real show stopper was my pork tenderloin, and I like to let the meat do the talking. It comes out of the smoker juicy, with a cross section showing off a dark ring of flavorful smoke. I dry rub only, so you can count on some simple but complimentary flavors. With this cut, honestly, the less you do the better.

That's not to say there's not ways to change it up, though. Let's talk mini pizzas.

Personal Pork Pizzas

1/2 pound pork tenderloin
1 bottle of your favorite bbq sauce
1 red onion
1 white onion
1 block of cheddar cheese
However many tortillas you've got left over from the taco bar

This one's simple, so simple it's stupid, but you do have a choice to make early on. With regards to your pork tenderloin, either slice it down into medallions and dice it or grab the forks and start to shredding. Either way, you're going to want to pare it down quite a bit. Dice half of your red and white onions and toss together with your pork. Take a tortilla and dress it up with a spoonful of your favorite bbq sauce (or more as you like it) and top with your pork and onions. Finally shred your cheddar to taste and pop these baby's in an oven on the lowest setting. Wait too long and you'll try out the pork, which we don't want, we're just looking to see everything warmed and the cheese melted.

Finally, we're at the next morning. You're hung over and pouring yourself a mimosa for a little hair of the dog, but still want something to settle your stomach. Let's make the crew some fried bologna sandwiches. You really have to be considerate about the ingredients you chose for this one, and there's a lot of room for play. But this is a basic recipe that'll deliver a delicious sandwich that happens to be pretty decent for hangovers, or just a dirty breakfast anytime. Partner it with some fried eggs and you're well on your way to a post-draft recovery day.

Mama's Fried Bologna

16 slices of thick cut beef bologna
4 kosher dill pickles
2 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 tablespoon mayo
A few iceberg lettuce leaves
4 slices of rye bread

This one's got some details right away. For this recipe, you absolutely need beef bologna. Go to your deli and ask, they'll have it. Stay away from the pre-packaged stuff in the cooler, not just for the taste but also because the pre-packaged stuff tends to have chicken and turkey in it, which has a lower fat content. You'll want the fattier bologna for a more even fry. You're gonna want to take your bologna and arrange it into a neat stack so that the edges are all smooth. Take a knife and carefully cut a 1 inch slice downwards through the stack of bologna. If you imagine your deli meat like a clock, you'll want to make cuts at the 12, 3, 6 and 9 o'clock notches. This will allow the bologna to curl at the edges and prevent tenting once it starts to fry.

You'll want to dice your pickles down nice and mix it into your mustard and mayo, season with some salt and pepper as you like.

Take a large cast iron skillet and arrange your bologna out in one single layer (and you may need to this this in a pan in batches) cooking on medium-high. Cook for about 2 minutes before flipping, or until golden brown. Once you've done your first flip up, give each slice a little dusting with salt and pepper and wait for the other side to crisp up. Once both sides are nice and golden brown, pull the slices off and let them rest on a paper towel lined plate for a few moments while you toast your bread in the pan. Don't bother wiping the pan down, toasting your bread in the fats of the bologna will help it along more quickly and impart great taste!

Smear each face of the toasted bread down with your mayo-mustard-pickle aioli and shingle on your fried bologna. A single leaf of lettuce over top, torn to fit the sandwich, and you're set to snack.