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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SMJHL S50 Game 124 - KEL @ ANC

SMJHL Game 124 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Ebenezer Virtanen @Zeddez
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: N/A
Team: Anchorage Armada
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Ebenezer Virtanen, or Scrooge as his teammates call him, was unable to dish out any hits for a full 60 minutes tonight. Similar to Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, Virtanen was stingy with the Potato and didn’t want to share it with anyone else on the ice. He was spending most of the game scowling at players who dared come near him before his coach finally lost patience. “Virtanen, fucking hit someone and stop being such a fucking weirdo!” Virtanen shrieked back “Bah! Humbug!” His coach had seen enough and didn’t give him a shift the rest of the game. He finished with only 8 minutes of ice time and a -2 plus minus, which isn’t too bad considering he spent all 8 minutes tucked along the corner boards.

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SMJHL S50 Game 130 - KEL @ LBL

SMJHL Game 130 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Ebenezer Virtanen @Zeddez
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: N/A
Team: Lethbridge Lions
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Virtanen’s coach still was fuming about his performance last game but decided that maybe he should combat this grumpy player with a bit of kindness instead. He gave him a bit more ice time this game and even there in some time on the power play. All in an effort to get Virtanen to stop being grumpy and a burden to his team. The ol’ kill ‘em with kindness trick didn’t work this time as he was unable to get Virtanen out of the corner again. Exasperated, his coach threw his hands int he air and basically gave up. Kelowna was thoroughly dominated this game where they weren’t able to pot a goal and only had 15 shots on net. Scrooge seems to need a visit by a few ghosts...

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