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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SHL S50 Game 333 - LAP @ HAM

SHL Game 333 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Robert Phelps @DrunkenTeddy
Team: Hamilton Steelhawks
Victim: Ty Hoover @Hoovuh
Team: Los Angeles Panthers
Time: 1:02 of 2nd period
Total possession time:  21:02
Hot po-take-to:
With his miraculous recovery due to the oft-misunderstood magical properties of the Potato, Robert "Michael" Phelps was able to play tough in his next game. Phelps felt that it might be in his best interest to hold onto this Potato, lest he feels the wrath of Shaq again. Phelps skated the first period with the Spud securely in his waistband, warming him with its hot, starchy goodness. But, alas, just over a minute into the second period, Phelpsy had Ty Hoover in his sights. He thought to himself, "Screw it, I'm gonna starch this guy." With this action, Robert "Michael" Phelps lost his Potato.


SHL Game 333 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Ty Hoover @Hoovuh
Team: Los Angeles Panthers
Victim: N/A
Team: Hamilton Steelhawks
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  38:58
Hot po-take-to:
Ty "Vacuum" Hoover takes the big hit from Robert Phelps and crashes to the ice. As he gets up, he feels a strange warmth in the boot of his skate. Hoover looks down to see a brown something, but he isn't sure what. As he skates back to the LA bench, he realizes with a gasp that he's now the owner of the Hot Potato. Once an object of scorn, Vacuum has being hearing rumblings of some magical powers. Hoover pushes the potato a bit further down in his boot, not wanting anyone to see it.

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SHL S50 Game 339 - LAP @ TEX

SHL Game 339 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Ty Hoover @Hoovuh
Team: Los Angeles Panthers
Victim: N/A
Team: Texas Renegades
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
"Vacuum" Hoover is jealously guarding his possession of the exalted Spud. He saw the big hit that Robert Phelps took from Shaq and saw how quickly he seemed to recover. He reckons that this potato might be a gift and it might keep him injury-free. It doesn't occur to Hoover that literally nobody in the SHL ever gets injured; he's blinded by his new prize. He had his grandmother craft him new hockey socks with a secret pocket to hold the potato. The Spud is his.

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SHL S50 Game 343 - LAP @ MAN

SHL Game 343 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Ty Hoover @Hoovuh
Team: Los Angeles Panthers
Victim: N/A
Team: Manhattan Rage
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Ty Hoover has managed another game without giving up his new best friend, the Hot Potato. He is trying to avoid all contact on the ice, fearful that he might lose the magic of the Potato. He's never felt better in his life as the Spud has heightened his senses and sharpened his reflexes. He keeps one eye out for anyone who might come hit him, and swerves out of their path. He's avoiding hits like Xavier LaFlamme in the first Goon movie. Vacuum Hoover has his Potato, his precious, and he wants to keeps it.

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