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Muerto · 12-22-2019, 08:29 AM

For my very good friend Ignatius Blunt, of the Winnipeg Jets, I put on my Santa hat and stuff some goodies in his stocking:

1. A super-powered candy cane that lets him go on a hot streak down the stretch and finish the season with 20 goals and 40 points for a career year in stats!

2. A gift-wrapped berth in the playoffs - this is a joint gift and the card is signed by the San Francisco Pride, the Minnesota Chiefs, and the Texas Renegades who have all decided giving is better than receiving this season!

3. A great big fat contract from some team owner drunk on eggnog and credit-card debt, who's feeling extra-jolly and generous with a double-digit millions paycheck for next season!

4. A signed photo of Milan Lucic in Calgary Flames jersey as motivation in how to completely tank after receiving a ridiculous contract from some idiot GM

@Gaia Mormont

Weretarantula · 12-22-2019, 09:41 AM

Written task: Write about what you (or your player) would like to receive as a holiday gift! Or write about what you (or your player) would give to another SHL user (or player) as a holiday gift for them. (minimum 150 words).

Maxime is looking forward to receiving a large amount of petrol this holiday season. All he wants for Christmas is to huff and puff and blow his lungs out. Sure, the petrol could kill him, but what's the seasonal spirit without a little bit of reckless endangerment? And besides, it's a commodity that is essential to current modern day travel. If he needs to drive somewhere and his tank is low, well he has the solution already sitting in his living room! Of course, he gets a few odd looks at the petrol station when he's snorting the end of the nozzle, but people don't understand just how aromatic the aroma of fuel really is when you're four weeks deep into a binge. Anyway, he asked all of the Edmonton Blizzard players for it and he knows how much they love to get into their paraphernalia, so a big present should hopefully be coming his way. Just don't tell the Dragons management, he doesn't want them to know he has a crippling addiction.

***BadWolf*** · 12-22-2019, 11:51 AM

Mika Mayfield has been longing to spend some time back in Italy. That would be the best gift ever! A trip back to her hometown. Oh how she has been longing for some real prosciutto and a nice big glass of red wine. To spend some quality time with relatives up in the Alps sounds like an amazing Christmas vacation. Oh the skiing is amazing in the Alps. That would just be the daytime plans. In the nights, Mika would be in the hot tub. In the evenings, imagine the best food you have ever seen. You think you know a pizza, think again. Mika is craving some cannolo for dessert. That sweet creamy ricotta based filling in a crunchy shell. Its been a while since Mika has hand made some pasta too. This would be an amazing Christmas holiday. A Mika wants that more than any gift. It can be easy to get homesick when you are so far away for so long

LarksTongue · 12-22-2019, 12:56 PM

I love Christmas but I am not sure what Commander Shepard would want for Christmas. But I on the other hand am hoping for a set of Montreal Canadiens tickets as I have never seen a hockey game at the Bell Centre. It would be a great gift for myself or my brother. He’s a big Flyers fan but they already played in Montreal this season so I would generally lean towards the February 8th game against the Leafs. He’s also sort of a closet Habs fan as he loves Gallagher and Weber, and also hates the Leafs a lot like a Habs fan so maybe this way he will show his true colours of course after a few beers. I also would not complain about getting a pair of tickets to see the same game in Toronto on the last game of the season. If the standings stay the course that game could be absolutely massive.

Thanks to @FlappyGiraffe and @ToeDragon84 for the making these sick sigs!

Quote: First Goal (3rd Game): Commander Shepard 1 (Nick Brain 1, Noah Gallagher 2) at 8:48

Jabs · 12-22-2019, 01:04 PM

As usual for this time of year, Mike Hroch of the Carolina Kraken is mainly looking for one thing for the holidays, and that is the glorious gift of food. He loves a good box of chocolates wrapped up under the tree although if possible he would prefer it to be one of those boxes with a guide on what exactly the chocolates are so he doesn't accidentally eat one of those gross coconut ones. Homemade rum balls make another good gift. In fact, it's not just food he loves, but drink as well. A nice bottle of whiskey or a 30 rack of Coors Light would do the trick. Gift cards to his favorite food places are a home run (or do we say, GOAL in hockey sim leagues? not sure), be it from McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, In-N-Out Burger, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, 7-11, Olive Garden, Culver's, Whataburger, Subway, you name it!

sailingdrumstick · 12-22-2019, 01:32 PM

Thicc Cheezy would like some booze. You know Christmas time is party time, and the big Cheeze is about to turn it on! People keep telling me "But cheezy, you're having a terrible year. Shouldn't you spend time over the holidays in the gym and on the ice?"

Fuck you.

You know why I'm having such a shit year? Training. I haven't boozed all season, I rose my commitment level and have done nothing but hockey all year. And I'm burnt out. I need some booze and girls in my life, and I need to get as far away from the gym as I possibly can. So give me all the booze you can, and your eyes are about to see an absolute spectacle of staying up late, boozing like a maniac and maybe some beautiful girls along the way. This is my version of rest, and I WILL come back a more focused and rested version of the shit you've seen on the ice all year this year

Naosu · 12-22-2019, 02:15 PM

Ryan Shepard receives some new skate laces.
[Image: komjcLQ.png]

Symmetrik · 12-22-2019, 02:24 PM

PBE CW

MrStennett · 12-22-2019, 02:27 PM

Barrett Blackwood prefers giving gifts as opposed to receiving them. He's always been a selfless person by nature (other than on the ice rink), and enjoys seeing people's eyes light up upon getting a gift. Therefore, he decided to give some gifts to the teammates that he's gotten to know well over his time in the SHL.

To Cory Knouse, he gives a large book of crossword puzzles. Blackwood figures that he's going to need something to do to take up the free time he has now that he's retired.

To Teddy Cuddles, he gives a training sandbag. Cuddles is a man who loves hitting things, and a sandbag is a great way to work out some of that aggression when he's not on the ice.

To Tommy Tuck, he gives a sandwich to only be eaten in the shower. Seriously, give it a try you judgemental son of a bitch. Seriously though, love you, buddy. You can eat that sandwich wherever you please.

To Tor Tuck, he gives a brand new beekeeping outfit. The man is absolutely bonkers about bees, and I figure he could use a little extra protection.

To Brady McIntyre, he gives an adorable santa outfit for his kitties. Now here is a man who loves his adorable little cats, and Barrett has to admit that they're pretty darn cute. Hopefully this santa outfit makes them even cuter.

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SlashACM · 12-22-2019, 02:56 PM

For Christmas all Aleister Cain wants is a new sim engine. He's been nice this year, no thunderdomes, helped run wjc through the stretch, earning tpe like a motherfucker. All he wants is an engine that is kind, that recognizes hard work and doesn't screw you into being cursed with mediocrity.

Other than that, a challenge cup would be nice, some individual awards, a goty trophy, presidents trophy, the works. I feel like it's not too much to ask for. Other people get them, sometimes over and over, sometimes with half the tpe of Cain, and Cain just wants a fair shot. That's his Christmas wish. If he doesn't get any awards soon hes gonna have to stab someone. Probably trella. I feel like I wanna stab trella. Ya fuck. Give me new sim engine and goalie awards or I will stab you in the abdomen

***JaytheGreat*** · 12-22-2019, 03:20 PM

This year I'm in a really giving mood, so I want to shower the teams I care about the most with gifts. Starting off with St. Louis Scarecrows, I would like to give them the gift of the Four Star Cup. The cup hasn't made it's way to St. Louis in awhile and I would like to change that. Moving onto the next team is the New England Wolfpack, to them I gift a new non broken sim engine and Challenge Cup (unfortunately due to logistical reasons the Challenge Cup can't be opened until next year). For team Russia I gift them another uncapped player in the SHL to use for their team, considering most of the team was in SMJHL last year, I think this gift will really help out. I also gift them vodka because you know it's tradition and all that. Lastly I wish New England, St. Louis, Russia, and everyone else in the SHL a Merry Christmas.

Rest In Peace Dangel

1st SHL Goal - S52 Game 1 vs Tampa 3. New England Wolfpack , Jakub Bruchevski 1 (Eko Van Otter 1, Delver Fudgeson 2) at 8:10

Scarecrows

tedlamotors · 12-22-2019, 03:26 PM

As harsh as the season might've been, I'm still thankful for having another year of the SHL wrapped under my belt. Besides, those who know me know that I'm more of a guy who assists, so why should that change during the season of giving? I'd get @Segi something, but I think transferring to Switzerland is more than enough for him to handle, and I'm sure Gunnar Söderberg (@sköldpaddor) would get just a tad bit jealous. Considering the things we bond over, there's only a couple of things that would really make a Swede's Christmas; a new cast-iron pan for making meatballs, a basket full of saffron buns doggie treats for Maxim, and being a Barracuda player until epiphany as an excuse for being around the one I love. Don't worry Chiefs fans, Toah Nedla will take over, and it'll only help the team tank for that 1st overall pick, right?

BarnabasCollins · 12-22-2019, 03:38 PM

I think the greatest gift Kata Vilde could receive for Christmas would be to not have to do PTs. Being in regression you really have to want it badly to fight it off which means doing PTs. On the other hand there's times you just want to rest on your laurels and just use what you've got for awhile. Lately Vilde has found training to be like pulling teeth. I think part of the lost interest too is due to the uncertainty of the league's future. It seems like that is the case for quite a few people as well since we've seen some very prominent early retirements already. And this is by no means a knock on the PT department at all, maybe it's just the holiday humbugs settling in. But truly Vilde couldn't think of a better Christmas gift than to be able to not have to bullshit for 150 words. Peace to all this season, even feckin Buffalo I guess.

*Buster* · 12-22-2019, 03:50 PM

Oliver Cleary only has one gift in mind. It isn't technically a physical object and it isn't monetary. But rather, Cleary would like the title of former Challenge Cup Champion added to his resume. How would he like to achieve this? If the SHL could just gift the Los Angeles Panthers the title, that would be really nice. Why not? Los Angeles is sort of likeable, they have some guys. Likely won't happen though. The other idea is they could just slide Cleary's name into any of the past championship teams and call it a day. Just add Cleary to one of Calgary's championships in the recent past and I don't think a single person would notice that happened. So whenever the league would like to take either of those ideas and make it happen, Cleary will be waiting by the phone for his Christmas gift. Other than that, Cleary wouldn't mind LA to finally get that 15M per season contract.

Code:
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FuzzSHL · 12-22-2019, 04:12 PM

Quote:Written task: Write about what you (or your player) would like to receive as a holiday gift! Or write about what you (or your player) would give to another SHL user (or player) as a holiday gift for them. (minimum 150 words).

Well, to make this easier, I'm just gonna ramble about what I'm hoping to get for Christmas. It's been far too long overdue, but I'm finally in a position to upgrade my computer. I built my computer as a senior project back in high school and it has served me fairly well over the years. I currently have an FX-8320 and the upgrade to a Ryzen 5 3600 is going to be weellll worth it. I've got the heatsink and motherboard already on the way with the CPU and RAM next on the list. The only thing that I'm really "missing" (which at this point is just a nice extra) is a few case fans. That's really the only thing I'm "hoping" to receive as a holiday gift this year, even though there's really no chance of that happening. Can I get gifted some SimonT luck with Foxy? No? Well, that's disappointing.

Aleksi Kettu

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