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CementHands · 12-28-2019, 02:18 AM

Goooooooood Evening Halifax!!! Tonight we are pleased to bring you the latest edition in "Know your Raiders". Jason Staples caught up with Raiders sophomore sensation, number 7 Thicc Cheezy in in the end of season break, and was fortunate enough to catch him on a sober day. Without further ado, Thicc Cheezy:

JS: Mr. Cheezy, this is your second year on the Raiders, what are some of the main differences that you have noticed from your rookie season?

TC: Personally, for me the main difference was being a little more aware of my city, the style of hockey and settling in to my house. Last year was a whirlwind to be completely honest.
I had never really left my small hometown and going from that to Halifax was a huge transition for me. The style of hockey was a little bit different from any style I had played at any local or even international tournament. I think coach balls wanted to challenge me coming in, and develop me into a different player than I was - which I think was great, it just required a little bit of a transition for me.

JS: That's right. I remember from your initial scouting report you were tearing up every league you ever played in and you were a highly touted prospect, but there were questions swirling about your attitude which was the most likely contributing factor to you falling out of the first round from the SMJHL draft to number 26. Halifax scouting is looking good at snagging you where they did though as you're really proving the critics and naysayers wrong.

TC: Fuck you, how's that for attitude, eh? If we weren't mandated to do these god damn interviews in the first place you would have to go back to writing your blog about cats.

JS: Hey now, people love that blog, and it still gets more hits than my Raiders coverage since the late 40's when they stopped having constant scandals.

TC: Anyway, I think I really fell into the role that Balls was looking for when he drafted me last year. I have been able to take this opportunity and run with it. Teamwise, the guys are great and our locker room really gels well, I think its just a product of a bunch of good guys benefitting from one more year with each other. As time goes on teams get better as they have consistency in their lineup, and we are no different.

JS: I'll be one of the first to admit that I was surprised to see Mr. Balls take an absolute stud of a playmaker, and turn him into a utility shutdown player, and then watch that oozing offensive talent come back once you gained some size.
Since you've been showcasing your talent as one of the "draft steals", how was your overall experience with the Jr. draft vs the SHL draft? Which one did you prefer, were there any surprises or shattered expectations that happened in either?

TC: Both drafts were pretty similar. To be honest I was expecting to go 1OA in the Jr. Draft, so in terms of shattered expectations theres your answer there. But in the SHL draft I knew i'd be a little later. Honestly though, draft position means nothing to me. My performance on the ice will make people go "Wow, what a player, I cant beleive those dumbass GM's passed on him/ I can't believe he was drafted so late, dude easily should be a 1OA". I live to prove people wrong, and taking me late simply provides me an opportunity to do just that.

JS: Another player on the Chiefs, Jon Forty-One @C9Van (and former Raider for a brief period) is known for maintaining a sort of payback or retribution list for every team that passed on him. Could we see something similar to that from you?

TC: I don't need a piece of fucking paper to put teams on notice. How about this: EVERY team in the SHL, and SMJHL be warned. The forecast is dangerously cheezy, and I'm coming for you.

JS: Well if I wasn't already wearing depends I would need to change my pants after that. Frightening. Which is a good time to say thanks to our sponsor for this interview, Depends: "Give a hoot, be covered when you toot"

TC: What in the actual fuck was that? You run an ad for diapers during my interview?

JS: Well someone needs to pay the bills. Let's get back on topic, shall we?

TC: If you run one more -

JS: Give us a bit of a back story, who is Thicc Cheezy?

TC: Haha oh man, where do I start? I wish I had this amazing background story for you. Like I was a struggling kid from overseas who had to hop on a boat with nothing but the shirt on his back type thing. The reality is that I'm just a small town kid who found hockey at an early age. Ever since I can remember I have spent every last free minute on the ice, just shooting around or stick handling, anything to pass the time really. When I was about 6 I set a few scoring records not only for my hometown, but all the surrounding cities around me. That really put me on the map, at 8 TSN wanted to do a special on me. You know, like the ones they do with hockey phenoms? My mom actually said no though, she didn't want me in the limelight at that age. She wanted to keep me a humble unknown kid. Didn't fucking work let me tell you, I shot right up the ranks in hockey pretty quickly and my ego has actually helped me along the way. By 10 I was being flown around the country to play for international teams in all these tournaments. I actually played in the SHL showcase tournament, you know, the one in Toronto they run for 11-14 year olds? Except I came in at 10 and absolutely tore it up, set the scoring and assist records that still haven't been broken. I've been treated like hockey royalty my whole life in the hockey community.

JS: So you are basically King Midas then? Everything you touch turns to gold?

TC: Thats just my hockey story though, I mean Thicc Cheezy the guy is just like any other guy playing in the SMJHL. I love to watch hockey when I'm not playing, and love to drink a good beer or 12. You ever wanna have a good time? Just call me up, I'm always down to party and see where the night takes us.

JS: I'll keep that in mind next time I want to tie one on. How about entertainment, is there an activity you get up to between hockey sessions?

TC: I hate movies, seriously. Fuck movies, who can sit still for that long? And people ALWAYS quote them, like dude I don't watch movies and don't want to hear your shitty quotes from them. I almost got into fights a couple of times because of movie quotes, they were quoting some dumb movie...wow....I really got off topic here. What was the question again?

JS: Hmm don't worry about that, we can edit it out in post. What makes you tick?

TC: Booze and women. Man nothing gets me up in the morning knowing I am going to a sick party later that night, or having a sexy little booty call come over sometime that day. This isn't a family show right? Your secretary told me I could say whatever I wanted.

JS: Oh god no, this isn't a family show. With that said we might want to put up some additional warnings. We can do that in post as well. Don't worry about your language, we can edit whatever we need to in order to get this to air.

TC: Sorry, back to the topic. I honestly hate everything to do with hockey that isn't actually playing or watching it. Getting up early? No. Gym time? Slowest hour of my life every day. Shooting Practice? I'll shoot your fucking face how bout dah? But I always supplement my training and strict regiment with some booze and women, and it makes it all worth it in the end.

JS: The Raiders had a pretty rough season your rookie year, this one they flipped from last place to 3rd overall and just barely outside of second. What have been the major turnaround factors?

TC: Major turnaround factors - wow. Hard hitting questions here eh? Making me think, okay major turnaround factors....Well I think the major factor to be honest has been another year in the league for all of us. Last year we had a tonne of rookies and a few guys who just...were there. You know? Super odd guys actually, like they were there and showed up to games and had a spot on the fourth line, but NEVER talked to anyone ever, and really just seemed like robots. We have less of those guys this year and more engaged guys who are consistently training and bonding in the locker room, or at the bar if you know what I meeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnn.

JS: I don't know if anyone truly knows what you mean.

TC: We had a solid off-season acquisition which has benefitted us drastically, and line chemistry that just works. There is so much that goes into being a winning team, and improving year over year and we just seem to be checking all those boxes really effectively.

JS: Speaking of line chemistry, we've heard of a few line nicknames around the league. Julian, Karl, and yourself affectionately call yourself the fondue line. How does that resemble your play style?

TC: Well, much like fondue we smother our opponents until you cant even really see them. Thats basically the only way we resemble Fondue. When was the last time you saw the fondue line on the ice and the other team got any sustained pressure? You haven't, the fondue will smother your line and give you nothing, and then put it in the back of your net and have you wishing you could go back in time and play better.

JS: I feel like there are better names out there, like the smother line, or the breathless line

TC: How about you stick to your day job and the cat blog, and leave nickname creation to the professionals?

JS: That sounds good to me, I never was a creative type.
Carolina blew through the league this season, and they are back to back champions. How do you beat them?

TC: We have a solid plan in the dressing room, and what I think honestly is a fool proof opportunity to expose Carolina as the shit team they really are. But that's all I'll say. I don't want to give any other teams an insight into what to do and how to do it.

JS: Don't worry, we won't be running this until after playoffs. Can you give a hint at least?

TC: Jason, no means fucking don't ask me again if you like having your teeth in your mouth.
We want to be the team to show the SMJHL that Carolina is overrated. Also i'm pretty sure coach balls would have my fucking head if I just exposed all his secrets. All his hard work would simply just go to waste, and him and I have already had enough "Fuck you" matches this year, I don't need another one on my hands for being a loudmouth.

JS: Ok, ok I'm not going to push you on that.
Your experience with playoffs in the SMJHL is pretty little still, as the Raiders were eliminated in the first round last season. What are your expectations for this season, and do you approach games any differently from last season, or regular season games?

TC: Ugh, please don't remind me. I spent all offseason in a bottle after that terrible performance in the playoffs last year. Honestly I am just hoping to be a solid contributor this year in the playoffs and not be an absolute liability out there. Last year it just seemed like everything went wrong for me out there, you know? It got to the point where I just didn't want to lace up the skates. I was having anxiety even thinking about getting on the ice and at that point it just snowballs into a shit show for everyone.

JS: That sounds like a pretty serious mental breakdown. What got you out of it?

TC: Booze, women, playing hockey in that order.

JS: Is this year different?

TC: This playoff season honestly i'm not setting any goals for myself aside from not being a liability. If I get a handful of points great, if not - oh well. I just need to be solid defensively and not cost my team games. The fondue line this year has been incredible though and I think that I am surrounded by good company that puts me in a position to succeed this playoffs. So we will see. In terms of my approach, just watching game tape and maybe making little adjustments to my defensive game, but things have been pretty solid on the offensive side so I'm not going to stress out all that much about that stuff. Just being a good defensive player and getting the team to a cup is all I give a shit about.

JS: What is the strangest nickname you have ever been called?

TC: Easy, it's Fat Fromage - and don't fucking ask. The guy who created that nickname is going to get what is coming to him one day.

JS: Is the creator on some sort of "list"?

TC: There's no list Jason, I'm not Forty-One. If you keep asking though I'll make a special one for you, it's called that I hit you over the head with a folding chair and give you the "Fondue Elbow". That's where Julian, Karl and I beat you to within an inch of your life.

JS: Ok, no list. Got it.
Halifax has played this season without a Captain. Adam Barron and Karl Krashwagen hold A's from last season. How does this effect the team chemistry at all?

TC: It doesn't, and that's a dumb question. Like seriously, what do you expect someone to say to that? A made up letter on the jersey doesn't affect how you play, and us not having a captain doesn't affect how we play as a team. There are definitely a couple players on this team deserving of the C, and we all know who those players are. But in terms of our play as a collective unit it really doesn't matter at all. We play for each other regardless of any of the superficial shit. What matters is the logo on the front of the jersey, and that's it.

JS: Who is the best player in the SMJHL

TC: Make no mistake on this one - You're looking at him. Thicc Cheezy is one of the best players in this league, and before long they are going to be talking about putting his jersey in the rafters. You hear a lot of chatter around the league and my name is always up there with the all-time greats. But in terms of best player right now? Thats Karl for sure, Krash is a staple on our line and the guy is just an all around professional. Any time i've needed advice, about hockey or life, he has been there to support, and he is always just so positive - I guess its pretty easy to be positive when you're putting up the points he is, but whatever. Guys a beauty.

JS: so no love for players on other teams?

TC: Well to be honest the only thing I've seen from other teams is their players quivering whenever our line hits the ice. You know in baseball where they steal signs to know what pitch is coming? Other teams try to figure out when we're going over the boards so they can take their "star" player's out of harms way. Good luck with that.

Watch out for Kayhall @mxman991 though, that dude is a beast and is set to have a big year next year. He is juicing though, so I think that takes a little bit of credibility away from him.

JS: Well steroids aren't a banned substance. In fact I don't think anything is actually a banned substance in the SHL. If you think about it it's really interesting how we don't hear about more substance abuse in the league..

And sticking with the individuals of the league, who has the best beard in the SMJHL?

TC: Al Kayhall sports a pretty slick mug. The extra testosterone in his system definitely shows up on his face and on his back, too.

JS: Are you growing a playoff beard?

TC: I'm going to do my best, but honestly i've never been a facial hair guy. Not without lack of trying, I guess its just not in my genetics right now to be able to grow a nice thick beard. It comes in pretty thin and patchy. I'm going to stick to trying though, unless it starts affecting my game in the bars, then i'll have to go back to clean shaven.

JS: What has been the most helpful thing you have learned in your 2 seasons in the league?

TC: To ride the wave of emotions and not focus too much on the negative. Last year was a rough one for me, and I got really down on myself at times when I wasn't putting up the points I am used to putting up. I had to lean on a couple of vets in the locker room to keep myself in check during those times as its really easy to simply drown in your own frustration and lose sight of how to properly play the game. This year has definitely had its ups and downs, but i'm learning to just accept it as a normal ebb and flow of playing the game rather than take it too personally and worry that my career is coming to an end. Its always tough to see past a rough point when you're not performing as well as you want to be, there is always that voice in the back of your head saying 'What if you can never get it back, you're done", and my 2 seasons in the league has definitely taught me how to silence that voice and just focus on playing the game the right way and allowing the points to come whenever they want to come.

JS: Well you seem to have been able to silence those voices, as you have had a superb turnaround year. In fact most of the Raiders as a whole have, and the team has been very fun to watch.

JS: You laced up for Team Canada in last seasons WJC and helped them capture a Silver medal as a role player. This upcoming tournament should figure into more prominent role in the offensive output. What role do you see yourself taking in this off season's tournament ?

TC: I really think I can be a staple playmaker this time around. Last tournament went well for me I thought, but after everything was said and done I read some comments about me and my play that I didn't particularly appreciate. That's okay though, i'm confident that this time around if placed with the right sniper I can be one of the top players for us.

JS: How was the overall experience playing in Finland last season?

TC: Do I really even need to explain? Man, fins know how to PARTY. It was such an incredible experience. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought I would be in a place like that, and to be playing the best sport while being there was awesome. Secret ingredient to having a good time? Be a hockey player, the Finns know and love their hockey. All I needed to say to the beautiful women in the bars was that I was in town playing for team Canada, and their minds did the rest. I'll stop right there though, don't want to get too graphic. Although there may be a video or two floating around that I don't know about....

JS: What are your predictions going into the WJC this time around? Are there any teams out there that you think have taken any vast improvement steps, or is Canada the team to beat?

TC: Canada is the team to beat without question. With the improvements everyone has made since the last tournament, and some solid new additions we will be the team everyone is marking on their Calendars. And its always fun to be playing on the team when everyone has your number, you know? Everyone who is playing you has something to prove, you always know you're going to get that teams best. Its a great way to up your gameplay if you're maybe feeling a little sluggish from one too many beers (or one too many girls) from the night before.

JS: What about Russia? After all they did win the gold last tournament.

TC: I don't even think about them. I don't think about any team. Canada is the best team entering this tournament, so I don't waste my time worrying about inferior opponents. I will say though, I heard a couple of awesome urban legends about Russia. Something about the team providing some *cough* post game entertainment *cough* for every team after you play them, win or lose. But apparently that stopped a few years back, something about not being able to bring the prostitutes in anymore? Not sure...but man those sounded like some fun days.

JS: Final question for you, and bringing it back to the SHL. You recently signed an extension with your SHL Team, Minnesota. take us through a bit of negotiations, were they easy and straightforward, or did you make your agent really earn his percentage?

TC: Well let me start by saying - nobody works for Thicc Cheezy and doesn't earn their pay check. As it even stands my agent is a lucky prick, and we will see what happens heading into the next negotiations. They weren't fun let me tell you, they were pretty long and drawn out, lots of numbers thrown around, lots of "fuck you"'s thrown out. But that is part of the negotiation game, if it was easy everyone would do it. When the whole process was over I definitely can tell you I understand why some players simply tell their agent "I want to stay here, get a deal done regardless". Its a lot less stress and bullshit to deal with. But I love the stress and bullshit - especially when it involves me putting more money in my pocket. So I will do that all day every day come negotiation time.

JS: Alright that concludes this interview. We would like to thank everyone who submitted questions through our email system. Any questions or concerns can be directed towards the Halifax Raiders management team, @Flareon and @Citizen of Adraa.
Additionally we would like to thank Sweet Mamma June for catering this afternoon chat, Atlas Rush @Rublic for providing drinks, and the children of East Halifax Elementary School for the venue.
We would also like to apologize to the children and parents of East Halifax Elementary for the content of this interview, and we promise that we will choose a more age appropriate venue for the next one.

--Total Words 4066. This was a collaboration with @sailingdrumstick. Please split the pay 50/50--