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O4L · 04-19-2020, 04:20 PM

When the league said we would still play SHL games during the coronavirus but that we'd have to have all other interactions through Skype I was a bit surprised but when has the league ever made a silly decision before? Anyway, Jules Watt invited me to play League of Legends over Skype, little did I know Jules Watt would queue for support and single-handedly lose me 8 games in a row. I started to get mad and yell at him but then I decided to get even. I picked in a feast or famine champion in Lee Sin and preceded to run it down 10 times. At first, Jules Watt was upset at me and wondered how a player of my elite mechanical skill could die so many times on Lee Sin, but then he decided to also run it down 10 times on Morgana. He asked me after the game why I ran it down, I told him my goal was for him to learn to follow my lead, in this game he copied me when I ran it down so my hope is in future games where im carrying that he'll learn to help carry, or at least stop running it down.

"“HA HA! THIS GAME WILL NEVER END! I POSSESS THE SOUL OF EVERY GOALIE ON TEAM B!! CREW 4 LIFE!! SIGN WITH EDMONTON FOR THE CUP!!!” cackled Belial as he placed a Fedora on his head."
SMJHL Commisioner S17-S26
Calgary Dragons GM S14-S23

***SDCore*** · 04-19-2020, 04:46 PM

Video conferencing has been an interesting turn of events. We are not doing team meetings anymore, so we are watching game film and reviewing tapes over video conferencing. In Newfoundland, this is usually just our advisers and coaching staff. One times though, we brought in our entire captain team to help talk about how we wanted the team to train and what we could do better. Well halfway through this call, we get an unexpected visitor. A face appears, with a thick Russian accent. Andrei has hacked into our video conference and is taking over. He doesn't want to talk hockey or the team however. In true Andrei form he is just looking for his brother, Sergei. He apparently has been hitting random hockey video casts, randomly hoping to find his brother. The kicker is that he wasn't even trying to talk to us in Newfoundland, he just happened upon us. When he saw us, he got very happy and tried to recruit us to find Sergei. He didn't care that we were busy doing other things.

Briedaqueduc · 04-19-2020, 05:14 PM

The video conference for the Los Angeles Panthers was not really that interesting to be honest. It was just normal team chatting, talking about strategies, about the schedule, who's doing well and all that. The only really special conversation is the one that always end up happening, which is the debate on peeing in the shower or not. Theo Morgan was still one to be very much for, and he even added Mikhail Lokitonov to the conference so that he could help convince the non shower pisser. But for the team Canada, there was a very funny moment. Gabriel Johnson was filming himself while he was making dinner. He was cooking a pizza, but didn't put a pan under when he put it in the oven. When he opened up the oven couple minutes after, the pizza was all over the place. It went through the oven rack and it fell to the bottom of the oven. Everyone laughed, and Matt Kholin said "kekw" like he always does.

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*Leppish* · 04-19-2020, 05:17 PM

Geoff Moore was video chatting with his minnesota teammates last night, just enjoying the typical evening, talking about whatever and just chilling. When he was suddenly interrupted by a phone call from the Chiefs Management, telling him that he had been traded to the West Kendall Platoon, soon to be Baltimore Platoon. Geoff knew it could happen since it was discussed with management before but he was not ready to tell it to his teammates. But he did and it ended up being a sad video conference call instead of the usual jolly one. Once Moore finished the chat with Minnesota players, he was invited to a video conference call with Platoon members. It was initially a bit awkward since Moore was wearing a Minnesota Chiefs hoodie without realizing it for the first half an hour. But he did notice it later on and decided to take it off, telling the Platoon guys to mail him some of their merch as his wardrobe is basically filled with Chiefs stuff at the moment.

Sean · 04-19-2020, 05:40 PM

The GMs got together to announce who the new captains of the Blizzard were going to be going forward. We've been getting by without one since Cory Knouse left us but we felt it was time to make the announcement. Tony was sitting by his computer waiting for the group chat to start when he got a little hungry. He through something together quickly and started eating a lovely lunch. He wasn't able to finish when he got the notification that the group call was starting so he quickly put down his bowl and opened the video chat. Pepperoni was excited to use his new wide-angle lens webcam and quickly hopped on the call. The call started as anyone would expect and the captains were announced. Tony was a little disappointed he wasn't selected but he truly didn't expect it after the Phoenix incident (another story for another time). Just as it seemed like the call was ending Jean-Paul Boivin said "Hey Tony!". Tony scanned the faces to see a laughing Boivin. He quickly asked "is that a bowl of salad?". Tony looked at his own video feed and was shocked to see his wide-angle webcam picked up his lunch sitting on the table. The whole team jumped on and yelled about how Tony actually was eating a salad. Tony quickly turned off his computer. Maybe they won't remember that any of this happened.

EDM All-Time Leader in Goals, Assists and Points

BrewskyBoy · 04-19-2020, 05:56 PM

During the video conference call with fellow teammates, a lot was learned about ol' ivan Maximus, aka the Thief of Cheese. It was always a wonder to me about why his nickname was the thief of cheese. None of us in the locker room gave him that nickname, he just sort of forced it upon us all. Well, I think some of those questions were finally answered the other day while we were video conferencing. In the background of his camera shots, we could see stacks upon stacks of cheese. Mozzarella, cheddar, provolone, you name it. There were boxes of cheese, wheels of cheese, bags of shredded cheese. It was unbelievable. Hanging on his walls were autographed pictures of, yes you guessed it, pictures of cheese autographed by members of the producing company. I have never in my life seen someone so addicted to cheese, and no I don't believe for a second that the man could afford to buy all of said cheese products. There's no doubt in my mind that he stole a majority, if not all, of the cheese memorabilia that was in his possession.

Zombiewolf · 04-19-2020, 06:18 PM

The Kelowna Knights have had some insane video conferences during this pandemic. We've hosted movie nights, happy hours, get togethers, team meatings through video conferences during this insane pandemic. There have been some crazy times during the calls but i remember one in particular. In the call was Jaska Sepalla, Justin Keahl, Simon Takshak, Ethan Duncan, and Cillian Kavanagh. This was during one of our happy hours that we try and have at least once a week. Ethan Duncan and Justin Keahl had a little bit too much to drink and started singing Eye of the Tiger by Survivor had a insanely loud volume. Ethan's wife did not like this one bit and started yelling at him. They recently had a baby and she was exhausted. It was fairly hysterical especially since I was drunk myself. We clown with him all the time because of that incident. He has tried his best to keep it quiet since then

Thank you Brandon, Fish, GeckoeyGecko, Karey, Kit, takethehorizon, and Ragnar for the sigs!
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Leoben · 04-19-2020, 06:24 PM

We tried practice via video conference a few days ago and it didn't render any good results. We all just set up our phone in our living rooms so we could all see what we were doing. Some people's workout routines are interesting. After that didn't work, everyone just decided to use it as a video blog and weighed in on recent suspensions and bans. You could see the intensity on everyone's faces and this quarantine is really starting to get to people. Lots of talk about boomers and what is and isn't offensive to certain people. It just turned into a Fox News panel at the end of the day and there were no real winners. I think we all learned a few valuable lessons. First, some arguments aren't worth having and two, this quarantine needs to end. Video conferencing is no good. Let's hope things get back to normal soon.

BreDoubleT · 04-19-2020, 06:36 PM

Even Before Social distancing was enforced, the team liked to have a game night hosted weekly, so we all were used to the idea of joining and hanging up calls when we were finished. But since this quarantine started, we have been doing it pretty much 24/7. Not everyone is required to be there at all times but if someone is feeling lonely, its nice to know your boys are there for you. One this one particular night, we were playing a drinking game and it kind of got a little bit out of control. It's not like things like this haven't happened in the past but it was just very unexpected. One of the guys decided that while being super intoxicated it would be a good idea to run a tutorial on how to pleasure oneself in as many different ways he could think of. It would be a lie if i said i didn't learn something that night.

***Acsolap*** · 04-19-2020, 06:43 PM

Seeing as everyone is locked down and we need still need to go about our daily schedule the Armada has been conferencing every morning. This allows us all to see each other and for the coaches and trainers to make sure that everyone is sticking to their set routine, schedule and diet. Someone accidently posted the invite link into our alumni discord and one morning while the team were altogether Cameron Carter II joined. I think he thought the group was for something else, maybe one of his tinder dates, because his backdrop was of his bedroom and his house was all goat everything. Goat skin rug, goat lamp shade, goat duvet cover, goat suits in the closet, two live goats asleep on his bed and all he was wearing was a goat skin loin cloth and a head band with two goat horns on it. Everyone was kind of stunned and silent and CC2 left as quickly as he arrived.

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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Steelhead77 · 04-19-2020, 06:46 PM

We've been trying to keep things fun in Calgary during the quarantine and video calls have been a good way for everyone to get their minds off things. Most recently we had a group of Barry Batsbak @Katth , Prince Devitt @CFJ, Brennan Kennedy Jr @bk1689 and our 2 rookies Joseph Weston @ACapitalChicago and Alexei Rykov @RaginCajun on a call together. Everyone was having a good time, drinking beers and having some laughs until there was an incident.. Alexei Rykov Sharted... That's right, farted and shit his pants on the live feed. The reaction was hilarious as he had to get up full clench and briskly waddle into his bathroom. Batsbak, Devitt, Kennedy and Weston were dying laughing, knee slapping laughter at poor Rykov's misfortune. I really wish I'd been online to see this live, but luckily tech wizard Barry Batsbak was recording the session and later posted it in our locker room. We all had a good laugh at Rykov's expense, who said the shart was a result of too much cajun food that night followed by too many IPA's. The poor rookie has been put on a diet of rice and water since to bind up his insides, we don't need him sharting on the ice during a game.

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History -
- First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45

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shutdown · 04-19-2020, 06:48 PM

Videoconferencing is a wonderful way to get together with friends, or in this case your team, just to break up the monotony that is staying home all day every day for weeks straight. Chicago held one for all their team members and safe to say it was a shit show. Half the players couldn't figure out how to work the software and the other half's mics and web cams were so bad that it was pure pain for everyone's eyes and ears. Nick Connolly did the right thing and has been prepping for this moment. He's always had a cardboard cut-out of himself ever since his junior league days. He's always been waiting for the perfect time to use it and here was his chance. So he set up his web-cam and monitor but instead of sitting through the pain that was the video call, he instead put headphones on the cut-out of himself and went to do something more productive. AKA watch netflix alone.

FreakinAnime · 04-19-2020, 06:59 PM

Henrik lundqvist Jr facetimed with Darrow. Darrow was his GM but he had sad news to tell. It would make Henrik very upset when he heard it and apparently he was one of the last to find out. Darrow was stepping down from gm. This was the guy he played for and wanted to play for for all of his Raptors career. Henrik did not know what to say. There was nothing to say. He did not understand why and he wanted to ask but he did not want to offend Darrow. This was a sad thing he had not expected when he got this call. He decided not to ask and just thanked him for everything realizing now that he had even less connection to anyone. It was a sign that it was time to either quit the league or go up to West Kendall. There was nothing good and nothing left in Colorado for him. He did not belong here especially not without Darrow as his GM. Colorado would not be the same.

JayWhy · 04-19-2020, 06:59 PM

As someone often in virtual meetings as is, I haven't experienced much of a difference in behaviors due to this. The most common embarrassment that comes is always pretty plain and boring. There's the times someone forgets to mute their microphone, and there's an echo. Or there's the ones who try blocking their camera and accidentally have it just awkwardly looking down at their crotch or something. However, ultimately, nothing truly changed from then norm for us in Manhattan.

So sure, the videos and the stories are funny for many. It just feels boring to me, and considering we've often cut cameras entirely to save bandwidth, it's been that much less interesting. This is just a dead period basically that feels awful, boring, painful. I don't know about you guys, but it's wearing on me and I bet on you also. I see nobody, and the humor of a video call just isn't there for me.

An old man's dream ended. A young man's vision of the future opened wide. Young men have visions, old men have dreams. But the place for old men to dream is beside the fire.

Thanks to Jackson, Copenhagen, and Harry Hans!

GOING DOWN IN STYLE. TOAST4LYFE

Fordyford · 04-19-2020, 07:14 PM

Now Tony Ford loves a video call as much as the next guy, but when he was on one with the S47 draft class it all went a bit maniacal. First off Eko Van Otter held the whole thing up (he was meant to be organising it) by being late because he was eating some raw fish (look the guy is insane), and then when we did get on all we could hear was loud mooing - turns out Julio Tokolosh' mic was way too close to his face for comfort. Now when they did finally get on the call, you know what happened. Some Corey Kennedy guy who thinks he's a big deal started talking about how much of a big deal he was, and everyone got bored. So we started changing the backgrounds behind us, one thing leads to another, and all of a sudden the power goes out across the west coast of the US. Don't ask how that happened.

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