Waters Registered
stupid moron;dumb hair
05-03-2020, 07:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-03-2020, 07:57 PM by Waters .)
Hello ladies and gentlemen of the SHL community, my name is Waters and today I will be analyzing one of the great slappers of the quarantine era, the song Alone by the artist St4rface. You guys may not know about St4rface, but I, being very in tune with the Latvian rap scene, have been spamming his instagram DMs requesting an album ever since I heard this banger. Without further ado, let's get into it. Here is the song if you are interested in listening for yourself.
Ayy
Don't leave me alone
Please pick up the phone
Me and you, dark room, all night
No rules, all cool, just me and you
(X2 HOOK)
The hook is a captivating ding dong dinger of a start. This girl is trying to leave him alone, she is obviously very unhappy with their relationship, but st4rface isn't happy with her doing that. He wants her to not do that in fact, and by extent, pick up the phone, as she has clearly not been answering his many calls. Somehow though, despite her not wanting anything to do with him, he has managed or is proposing that they both stay in a dark room all night, without any rules and no heater, it will be very cold, as is the latvian custom. Also, he wants to make it clear that it will be just be them, she cant bring any friends. Clearly, st4rface is very angry and wants to lock them in this dark freezing room so that they can both freeze to death, but to entice her, he offers the possibility of there not being rules. If this indeed is a proposal and not a recounting of past events, it's hard to see why she would accept.
We spent there all night
I fucked you twice - you call it love, I call it exercise
So it turns out that she was in fact enticed by the offer, and did spend all night with him in this room. Apparently though, despite being obssessed with her to the point where he locked her in a dark room with him, the sex was only exercise to him. We find out through this second lyric that in fact, he really required exercise, but as the gym is currently closed for quarantine and it is too cold to run outside, he could only do this through sexual means. He has a very strong cardiovascular system, so he satisfied her very well, and she fell in love, but to him, it was only a way to get exercise in these trying times. Very creative from st4rface, I wouldn't have personally thought of this. Hopefully she has been tested though, it would be very difficult to keep up his intense cardiovascular regimen if he were to contract coronavirus.
Maybe I wasn't right
Don't know is it drugs or you, but I feel high
Another twist to the story - maybe he wasn't right about calling it exercise? Maybe it was in fact love? Clearly, he needed the exercise, as he believes the high to be related to drugs and/or the woman, but it is very obviously a runner's high, as any cardiovascular expert would know. Maybe he is just naturally very fit, but has been gaining weight as of late and required exercise and has never really delved into the concept. There are many reasons for which he would not recognize this staple of any expert in cardio-related exercise.
I wanna do it all again
You wanna be only friends
As many do in fact realize after achieving a runner's high, it's a very strong feeling that runners almost become addicted to. St4rface, like many others, has fallen victim to the feeling's allure. However, the woman of the story, tired of being used for exercise so much and not feeling much love at all, has decided that she actually would rather be friends. He is very sad, as he in fact wanted to do it all again.
We gon' pop these pills together
I wanna die young or live forever, yeah
Having given up on the whole exercise aspect of the relationship, he has decided to only be friends. He decides that there is no better way to solidify his friendship with someone than to pop pills with that same someone. He then says that he wants to die young or live forever. According to the current life expectancy of a latvian man, he is likely to live approximately 70 years, possibly lowered by a significant amount by his rampant drug use, but assuming he does continue to exercise, possibly with another woman, now that he has found strong motivation to do so, it is unlikely that he will die young, and there are currently 0 people on earth who have managed to live forever, though he would be regarded as a great scientific innovator if he were to achieve it.
After this, the hook is repeated, but she is unlikely to once again accept the invitation to the ruleless, cold, dark room once again now that she no longer has romantic feelings for him, so he is most likely just attempting to cherish the great memories they had in this chamber.
Just me and you, dark room
All night, no sleep, no rules
Here he is desperately trying to get her to come back to his dark room without any rules, adding that he does not require sleep and he wants to be in there all night with her. This is when she realizes that he is a vampire, which is why he does not sleep at night. She will not be goaded by his "no rules" mantra, as she is convinced that he will sap her lifeforce if she does find her way inside his dark room.
She's a burglar, she's robbing my heart
One girl, so much problems, I fell apart
The girl takes a stake and stabs him in the heart, stealing that organ out of his body to donate it to science, as he is considered the first living, proven, true vampire to ever exist. His organs could lead to scientific discoveries on how the different organs of a vampire work, allowing scientists to in essence, apply those improvements in surgical procedures to the rich, giving them much more power over those outside the 1%. This girl, by killing him, gave him many problems, so much in fact, that he fell apart upon being stabbed, making it much easier to harvest his organs. A true sacrifice from st4rface.
I can't see you, but I feel you
Besides me, no one knows real you
Having been killed, he can no longer see, but in his last moments, he can feel the stake that has been pushed deep into his heart. Unlike what we think vampires are, simply immortal, horny beings, they actually have the ability to attain a very strong mental insight upon their "dark room" victims. She had never revealed herself to be bisexual to her friends nor her family, but to attempt to blackmail her into joining him in the dark room, he threatened to expose her, leading to her murder of himself.
Can't find a difference between drugs and feelings
Don't wanna see love movies, wanna real thing, ayy
In the last two lines of the second verse, st4rface remembers his days before becoming a vampire. He often took drugs, and that reduced his life expectancy. He took them so much, they became conflated with his feelings. He wanted to live forever, as previously stated, and he also wanted to feel love, and not like the love movies, but the real thing. However, he would never be able to make her join him inside his dark room, so he sought how to become a vampire, and eventually achieved that. This last part of the song is a true insight into his reasoning for becoming this despicable creature.
After that, st4rface finishes the song with another rendition of the hook. Now that we know the reality behind the story of the dark room, that he could not feel the cold the second time around, that he was at no risk of freezing to death due to his immortality and that he could stay in the dark room all night because the dark is natural to him, the hook becomes a more sinister tale, that of him attempting to kill the woman he loved so deeply before his vampiric doings out of spite.
To conclude, Alone is a tragic tale of st4rface being regretful of treating a woman like simply exercise, but upon not receiving the response he wanted, growing full of hate, anger, spite, and turning into a vampire as to kill her in that same dark room he desperately wanted her to join him in, ending their tale as sadly as it begun.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Waters Song Analysis. Next time, I shall review the song booty, by jennifer lopez and izzy azalea, both women with larger than average booties.
Ben Waters Jr. || LW || Edmonton Blizzard || 312 TPE
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 225 lbs
Birthplace: Montreal, Canada
Transactions
S64: Drafted by Kelowna Knights with the 24th overall pick in S64 SMJHL Entry Draft
Stats
Awards
Player Page
Update Page
notorioustig IIHF Federation Head
Toast's Idiot of the Year 2021
bluesfan55 IIHF Federation Head
Too young for this shit
fire fire fire in the booth
Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 +/-: -23 PIM: 32 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69
Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft
Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team
ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @
Ragnar for the sigs
Jepox Registered
Apparently a big deal
Straight heat
Sim Wen || Anchorage Armada || D || 218 TPE
Height: 6'0
Weight: 190 lbs
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Transactions:
Drafted 20th overall by the Anchorage Armada in the S72 SMJHL Draft
Drafted ___ overall by the __ in the S73 SHL Draft
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SMJHL Statistics:
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SHL Statistics:
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SHL Playoff Statistics:
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Trophy Case:
Pablo Salvatici || Atlanta Inferno || F || 2082 TPE Peak
Height: 5'10
Weight: 172 lbs
Birthplace: Milan, Italy
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Transactions:
Drafted 8th overall by the Anchorage Armada in the S56 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 11th overall by the Atlanta Inferno in the S57 SHL Draft
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SMJHL Statistics:
S56 || GP: 50 || G: 9 || A: 7 || P: 16 || 0 || PIM: 8 || Hits: 26 || Shots: 58 || SB: 19
S57 || GP: 66 || G: 19 || A: 31 || P: 50 || +11 || PIM: 16 || Hits: 120 || Shots: 173 || SB: 13
S58 || GP: 66 || G: 14 || A: 26 || P: 40 || +9 || PIM: 20 || Hits: 142 || Shots: 181 || SB: 39
S59 || GP: 66 || G: 25 || A: 44 || P: 69 || +11 || PIM: 16 || Hits: 125 || Shots: 219 || SB: 51
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SHL Statistics:
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SHL Playoff Statistics:
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Trophy Case:
S58 Ronan O'Keefe Trophy (Playoffs Points Leader) (Tied)
S59 Jared Hanson Trophy (Regular Season Points Leader)
S59 Ideen Fallah Trophy (Awards Committee MVP)
S59 Raymond Lindsay Trophy (Community Most Outstanding Player)
Nolan Sawchuk || TBB, CHI, ATL || RW || 1377 TPE
Transactions:
Drafted 22nd Overall by the Kelowna Knights in the S44 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 12th Overall by the Seattle Riot in the S45 SHL Draft
Traded to the Chicago Syndicate S54
Signed with the Atlanta Inferno S56
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SMJHL Statistics:
S44 || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 16 || P: 30 || -32 || PIM: 13 || Hits: 24 || Shots: 144 || SB: 14
S45 || GP: 50 || G: 27 || A: 35 || P: 62 || +15 || PIM: 14 || Hits: 64 || Shots: 183 || SB: 7
S46 || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 23 || P: 37 || +13 || PIM: 24 || Hits: 55 || Shots: 153 || SB: 7
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SHL Statistics:
S47 || GP: 50 || G: 12 || A: 17 || P: 29 || -8 || PIM: 6 || Hits: 32 || Shots: 147 || SB: 12
S48 || GP: 50 || G: 22 || A: 25 || P: 47 || +22 || PIM: 4 || Hits: 24 || Shots: 158 || SB: 13
S49 || GP: 50 || G: 16 || A: 14 || P: 30 || -10 || PIM: 4 || Hits: 5 || Shots: 155 || SB: 13
S50 || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 25 || P: 39 || +16 || PIM: 8 || Hits: 53 || Shots: 141 || SB: 6
S51 || GP: 50 || G: 8 || A: 21 || P: 29 || -2 || PIM: 11 || Hits: 25 || Shots: 148 || SB: 6
S52 || GP: 50 || G: 16 || A: 23 || P: 39 || -1 || PIM: 26 || Hits: 60 || Shots: 119 || SB: 5
S53 || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A: 17 || P: 30 || -8 || PIM: 44 || Hits: 63 || Shots: 112 || SB: 83 || GvA: 25 || TkA: 24
S54 || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 28 || P: 42 || +26 || PIM: 32 || Hits: 35 || Shots: 134 || SB: 47 || GvA: 18 || TkA: 34
S55 || GP: 50 || G: 8 || A: 27 || P: 35 || +21 || PIM: 4 || Hits: 25 || Shots: 132 || SB: 51 || GvA: 17 || TkA: 23
S56 || GP: 50 || G: 16 || A: 28 || P: 44 || -3 || PIM: 20 || Hits: 21 || Shots: 129 || SB: 31 || GvA: 29 || TkA: 23
Career Totals || GP: 500 || G: 139 || A: 225 || P: 364 || PIM: 159 || Hits: 343 || Shots: 1375 || SB: 267 || GvA: 89 || TkA: 104
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SHL Playoff Statistics:
S48 || GP: 7 || G: 4 || A: 3 || P: 7 || +3 || PIM: 0 || Hits: 0 || Shots: 18 || SB: 2
S49 || GP: 12 || G: 4 || A: 6 || P: 10 || +6 || PIM: 0 || Hits: 3 || Shots: 43 || SB: 0
S50 || GP: 19 || G: 4 || A: 10 || P: 14 || -2|| PIM: 4 || Hits: 29 || Shots: 54 || SB: 5
S51 || GP: 4 || G: 1 || A: 1 || P: 2 || -2 || PIM: 0 || Hits: 0 || Shots: 13 || SB: 0
Playoff Totals || GP: 42 || G: 13 || A: 20 || P: 33 || PIM: 4 | Hits: 32 || Shots: 128 || SB: 7
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Trophy Case:
S45 Roberto Martucci Trophy (SMJHL Goal Leader)
S49 Gold Medal (Germany IIHF)
S50 Silver Medal (Germany IIHF)
Thanks for this great analysis. The second half of the song was very unclear to me but I can definitely see the vampire slant now
(S65) Ricky Koivu, RW (Anchorage Armada, Philadelphia Forge
Age: 19
TPE: 371
Drafted (SMJHL): 12th Overall (ANC) in S64
Drafted (SHL): 2nd Overall (PHI) in S65
Anchorage Armada (S64-)
Career Total (Regular Season - SMJHL): 66 GP: 8G, 12A, 20pts
Career Total (Playoffs - SMJHL): 4 GP: 1G, 1A, 2pts
Season-by-Season Statistics:
(ANC) S64 SMJHL Regular Season: 66 GP: 8G, 12A, 20pts
(ANC) S64 SMJHL Playoffs: 4 GP: 1G, 1A, 2pt
(S48) Gabriel Johnson, D (Retired, formerly player of ANC, HAM, SEA, EDM and ATL)
Age: 33
TPE: 1933
Drafted (SMJHL): 17th Overall (ANC) in S47
Drafted (SHL): 2nd Overall (HAM) in S48
Anchorage Armada (S47-S49)
Hamilton Steelhawks (S50-S57)
Seattle Argonauts (S58-)
[pbl]
Career Total (Regular Season - SMJHL): 150 GP: 22G, 52A, 74pts | -12 | 84 HIT | 132 SB
Career Total (Playoffs - SMJHL): 16 GP: 1G, 8A, 9pts | -6 | 12 HIT | 22 SB
Career Total (Regular Season - SHL): 300 GP: 57G, 165A, 222pts | +95 | 268 HIT | 397 SB
Career Total (Playoffs - SHL): 61 GP: 12G, 28A, 40pts | +3 | 76 HIT | 167 SB
Career Accolades:
S47 WJC Best Rookie
S48 WJC Gold Medalist
Named Assistant Captain of ANC in S49
Runner-up for SMJHL Most Sportsmanlike in S49
Called up to Hamilton Steelhawks in S50
S50 SHL All-Rookie Team
S51 Challenge Cup
S53 Anton Razov Nominee
S53 Challenge Cup
S54 IIHF Gold Medalist
S55 IIHF Bronze Medalist
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Season-by-Season Statistics:
(ANC) S47 SMJHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 2G, 11A, 13pts | +14 | 49 HIT | 43 SB
(ANC) S47 SMJHL Playoffs: 4 GP: 0G, 1A, 1pt | -1 | 6 HIT | 1 SB
(ANC) S48 SMJHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 9G, 17A, 26pts | -23 | 10 HIT | 43 SB
(ANC) S48 SMJHL Playoffs: 12 GP: 1G, 7A, 8pts | -5 | 6 HIT | 21 SB
(ANC) S49 SMJHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 11G, 24A, 35pts | -5 | 25 HIT | 46 SB
(ANC) S49 SMJHL Playoffs: 13 GP: 2G. 6A, 8pts | -4 | 10 HIT | 18 SB
(HAM) S50 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 9G, 16A, 25pts | -5 | 27 HIT | 54 SB
(HAM) S50 SHL Playoffs: 12 GP: 5G, 9A, 14pts | +8 | 5 HIT | 32 SB
(HAM) S51 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 9G, 24A, 33pts | +17 | 25 HIT | 57 SB
(HAM) S51 SHL Playoffs: 14 GP: 0G, 6A, 6pts | -4 | 16 HIT | 34 SB
(HAM) S52 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 10G, 24A, 34pts | +0 | 20 HIT | 58 SB
(HAM) S52 SHL Playoffs: 5 GP: 0G, 1A, 1pt | -1 | 7 HIT | 11 SB
(HAM) S53 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 15G, 32A, 47pts | +15 | 74 HIT | 69 SB
(HAM) S53 SHL Playoffs: 15 GP: 4G, 7A, 11pts | +4 | 26 HIT | 40 SB
(HAM) S54 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 8G, 36A, 44pts | +35 | 60 HIT | 68 SB
(HAM) S54 SHL Playoffs: 15 GP: 3G, 5A, 8pts | -4 | 22 HIT | 50 SB
(HAM) S55 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 6G, 33A, 39pts | +33 | 62 HIT | 91 SB
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Job History:
Russia WJC Head GM (S47)
SMJHL Media Grading Team (S48-S52)
SHL All-Star Voting Committee (S48-)
Canada WJC Head GM (S48)
Co-GM of Canada IIHF Team (S49-S51)
SMJHL Awards Committee (S49-S52)
Canada Federation Head (S51-S53)
SMJHL PT Director (S53-)
Vancouver Whalers Interim Co-GM (S53)
Hamilton Steelhawks Co-GM (S53-)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accolades:
Managed Canada to S48 WJC Gold
Managed Canada to S50 IIHF Bronze
Won Joe McKeil Award for Best Coach in S53
Managed Hamilton to S53 Challenge Cup
Scott Stevens Nominee for Best Defenseman in S63
SlashACM Registered
Certified Swiss Cheese
Put this in media
Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV
Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it
Turd Ferguson Registered
Posting Freak
Posts: 1,534
Threads: 124
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
9
BARS
LINUS GRIMSTAD | C | PROBABLY RETIRED?
Age: 20
Birthplace: Tromsø, Norway
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 190 lbs.
Number: 75
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CAREER HISTORY
Signed with the Carolina Kraken as an SMJHL free agent in S53
Drafted 15th overall by the Los Angeles Panthers in the S54 SHL Draft
Signed a three-year, $9 million entry-level contract with the Los Angeles Panthers
Named to the SMJHL All-Star team from the Eastern Conference in S54 and S55
Won the Four Star Cup with the Carolina Kraken in S54
Finished third in the voting for SMJHL MVP in S55
Named to the All-SMJHL First Team in S55
I went inactive after all of this.
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REGULAR SEASON STATS
SMJHL S53 (CAR): 48 GP | 6 G | 6 A | 12 PTS | -5
SMJHL S54 (CAR): 50 GP | 13 G | 19 A | 32 PTS | +1
SMJHL S55 (CAR): 50 GP | 22 G | 32 A | 54 PTS | +35
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PLAYOFF STATS
SMJHL S53 (CAR): 4 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 PT | -2
SMJHL S54 (CAR): 20 GP | 3 G | 11 A | 14 PT | 0
SMJHL S55 (CAR): 20 GP | 3 G | 11 A | 14 PT | 0
Past players:
(S3) C/D - Turd Ferguson (HOF)
(S7) LW - Anton Wagner
(S13) RW - Christian Bauer
(S18) D - Turd Ferguson, Jr.
(S30) D - William Goddard
Cobbenstein Registered
Senior Member
Posts: 678
Threads: 13
Joined: Feb 2020
Reputation:
6
Discord: Cobbenstein#6732
Pronouns: Undisclosed
Player:
Denebor Milasch
This article is a masterclass on what media could be. It is nearly as artistic and grandiose as the song it and person it is written for. If only we could all strive to one day be at the level that St4rface has achieved.
Thank you @Ragnar for the Sig!
Previously: Patrick Shepherd (S52 - S64)
MCP_ Registered
Posting Freak
Waters Fantano dropping straight facts
Jøln DuBølk || D || Lethbridge Lions
Drafted 39th Overall in the S45 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 24th Overall in the S46 SHL Entry Draft
19 G/67 A/86 P
S48 Four Star Cup Champion
S48 IIHF - Gold Medal
S49 All Rookie Team
S52 IIHF - Silver Medal
S54 Challenge Cup Champion
bluesfan55 IIHF Federation Head
Too young for this shit
05-03-2020, 08:55 PM MCP_ Wrote: Waters Fantano dropping straight factsfairly certain waters fantano, the internet’s busiest hockey nerd, has given this a strong 9 to a light 10
Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 +/-: -23 PIM: 32 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69
Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft
Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team
ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @
Ragnar for the sigs
Thanks waters
KARI KEKKONEN | D | RETIRED
NAME: Kari Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Oulu, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'1"
WEIGHT: 185 lbs
NUMBER: 33
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SMJHL CAREER STATS
S19 KEL: GP: 40, G: 10, A: 26, P: 36, +/-: 16, H: 42
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S19 KEL: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 6, P: 6, +/-: 0, H: 6
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KAAPO KEKKONEN | C | RETIRED
NAME: Kaapo Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Helsinki, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 210 lbs
NUMBER: 19
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SHL CAREER STATS
S25 LAP: GP: 50, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: -4, H: 75
S26 LAP: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 5, P: 9, +/-: -13, H: 94
S27 LAP: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 9, P: 15, +/-: -2, H: 35
S28 LAP: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 10, P: 17, +/-: -2, H: 96
S29 LAP: GP: 50, G: 13, A: 21, P: 34, +/-: -15, H: 85
S30 LAP: GP: 50, G: 23, A: 22, P: 45, +/-: 4, H: 130
S31 LAP: GP: 50, G: 20, A: 18, P: 38, +/-: 5, H: 162
S32 LAP: GP: 50, G: 18, A: 28, P: 46, +/-: 27, H: 183
S33 LAP: GP: 50, G: 17, A: 22, P: 39, +/-: 20, H: 210
S34 LAP: GP: 50, G: 12, A: 25, P: 37, +/-: -2, H: 131
S35 LAP: GP: 50, G: 10, A: 22, P: 32, +/-: -3, H: 115
S36 LAP: GP: 50, G: 11, A: 20, P: 31, +/-: 10, H: 138
S37 LAP: GP: 36, G: 9, A: 17, P: 26, +/-: -1, H: 72
S37 WKP: GP: 14, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -4, H: 19
TOT : GP: 650, G: 153, A: 222, P: 375, +/-: 20, H: 1545
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SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S25 LAP: DNQ
S26 LAP: DNQ
S27 LAP: DNQ
S28 LAP: DNQ
S29 LAP: DNQ
S30 LAP: DNQ
S31 LAP: DNQ
S32 LAP: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 3, P: 4, +/-: -2, H: 15
S33 LAP: GP: 12, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: 0, H: 38
S34 LAP: GP: 7, G: 1, A: 3, P: 4, +/-: 3, H: 23
S35 LAP: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -4, H: 4
S36 LAP: DNQ
S37 WKP: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -2, H: 35
TOT : GP: 41, G: 5, A: 12, P: 17, +/-: -5, H: 115
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TATU MÄKELÄ | D | RETIRED
NAME: Tatu Mäkelä
BIRTHPLACE: Tampere, Finland
HEIGHT: 5'11"
WEIGHT: 180 lbs
NUMBER: 65
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SHL CAREER STATS
S40 BUF: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 17, P: 22, +/-: -28, H: 14, SB: 86
S41 BUF: GP: 50, G: 10, A: 21, P: 31, +/-: -3, H: 9, SB: 78
S42 BUF: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 21, P: 30, +/-: 2, H: 13, SB: 65
S43 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 24, P: 30, +/-: 1, H: 8, SB: 51
S44 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 28, P: 34, +/-: -6, H: 10, SB: 63
S45 BUF: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 37, P: 41, +/-: 10, H: 130, SB: 71
S46 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 36, P: 42, +/-: 25, H: 139, SB: 73
S47 BUF: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 23, P: 28, +/-: -4, H: 137, SB: 76
S48 BUF: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 25, P: 32, +/-: 9, H: 151, SB: 70
S49 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 22, P: 28, +/-: 5, H: 159, SB: 66
S50 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 20, P: 26, +/-: 14, H: 152, SB: 72
S51 BUF: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 23, P: 26, +/-: 8, H: 143, SB: 50
S52 BUF: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 21, P: 30, +/-: -3, H: 141, SB: 71
S53 BUF: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 14, P: 19, +/-: 23, H: 50, SB: 98
TOT : GP: 700, G: 87, A: 332, P: 419, +/-: 53, H: 1256, SB: 990
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S40 BUF: DNQ
S41 BUF: GP: 7, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -3, H: 0, SB: 10
S42 BUF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -9, H: 2, SB: 10
S43 BUF: GP: 9, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: -1, H: 1, SB: 8
S44 BUF: DNQ
S45 BUF: DNQ
S46 BUF: GP: 17, G: 0, A: 12, P: 12, +/-: 11, H: 59, SB: 28
S47 BUF: GP: 13, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 2, H: 32, SB: 18
S48 BUF: GP: 22, G: 2, A: 10, P: 12, +/-: 2, H: 64, SB: 32
S49 BUF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 5, H: 15, SB: 8
S50 BUF: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: -2, H: 18, SB: 12
S51 BUF: GP: 8, G: 2, A: 5, P: 7, +/-: -3, H: 15, SB: 11
S52 BUF: GP: 15, G: 4, A: 5, P: 9, +/-: 4, H: 47, SB: 26
S53 BUF: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 6, SB: 13
TOT : GP: 111, G: 11, A: 55, P: 66, +/-: 6, H: 159, SB: 176
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KOLJA KEKKONEN | D | RETIRED
NAME: Kolja Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Lappeenranta, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 225 lbs
NUMBER: 8
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SMJHL CAREER STATS
S53 DET: GP: 3, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, H: 2, SB: 0
S54 DET: GP: 50, G: 2, A: 8, P: 10, +/-: -6, H: 15, SB: 37
S55 DET: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 12, P: 16, +/-: -24, H: 32, SB: 24
S56 DET: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 17, P: 21, +/-: -20, H: 52, SB: 71
S57 ANA: GP: 66, G: 6, A: 20, P: 26, +/-: 14, H: 52, SB: 70
TOT : GP: 219, G: 16, A: 58, P: 74, +/-: -37, H: 153, SB: 202
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S53 DET: DNP
S54 DET: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 2, SB: 3
S55 DET: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, H: 3, SB: 0
S56 DET: GP: 5, G: 2, A: 2, P: 4, +/-: 0, H: 3, SB: 7
S57 ANA: GP: 21, G: 2, A: 13, P: 15, +/-: 5, H: 13, SB: 34
TOT : GP: 37, G: 4, A: 16, P: 20, +/-: 3, H: 22, SB: 44
------------------------------------------------------------
KEKW KEKKONEN | C | RETIRED
NAME: Karl-Erik-Karl2-Wojtek Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Lohja, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'4"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
NUMBER: 69
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S61 BUF: GP: 66, G: 10, A: 28, P: 38, +/-: 21, H: 59, SH: 134
S62 BUF: GP: 66, G: 19, A: 36, P: 55, +/-: 9, H: 84, SH: 194
S63 BUF: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 14, P: 31, +/-: -13, H: 91, SH: 148
S64 BUF: GP: 66, G: 16, A: 51, P: 67, +/-: 36, H: 82, SH: 212
S65 BUF: GP: 66, G: 25, A: 41, P: 66, +/-: 33, H: 136, SH: 230
S66 BUF: GP: 66, G: 38, A: 43, P: 81, +/-: 18, H: 64, SH: 222
S67 BUF: GP: 66, G: 40, A: 45, P: 85, +/-: -6, H: 76, SH: 224
S68 BUF: GP: 66, G: 47, A: 46, P: 93, +/-: 45, H: 51, SH: 326
S69 BUF: GP: 66, G: 35, A: 31, P: 66, +/-: 22, H: 43, SH: 269
S70 BUF: GP: 66, G: 33, A: 48, P: 81, +/-: 18, H: 66, SH: 297
S71 BUF: GP: 66, G: 36, A: 41, P: 77, +/-: 37, H: 55, SH: 257
S72 BUF: GP: 66, G: 25, A: 35, P: 60, +/-: -1, H: 58, SH: 281
S73 BUF: GP: 66, G: 31, A: 41, P: 72, +/-: 23, H: 48, SH: 305
S74 BUF/WPG: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 47, P: 64, +/-: 33, H: 101, SH: 164
TOT : GP: 924, G: 389, A: 547, P: 936, +/-: 275, H: 1014, SH: 3263
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S61 BUF: GP: 9, G: 2, A: 6, P: 8, +/-: 4, H: 11, SH: 24
S62 BUF: GP: 9, G: 3, A: 1, P: 4, +/-: 2, H: 5, SH: 25
S63 BUF: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -1, H: 32, SH: 33
S64 BUF: GP: 11, G: 2, A: 2, P: 4, +/-: -6, H: 12, SH: 41
S65 BUF: GP: 18, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 8, H: 34, SH: 62
S66 BUF: GP: 16, G: 11, A: 9, P: 20, +/-: 3, H: 13, SH: 49
S67 BUF: GP: 4, G: 2, A: 2, P: 4, +/-: -3, H: 3, SH: 20
S68 BUF: GP: 17, G: 6, A: 8, P: 14, +/-: -4, H: 11, SH: 75
S69 BUF: GP: 4, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -5, H: 2, SH: 13
S70 BUF: GP: 7, G: 1, A: 3, P: 4, +/-: -8, H: 2, SH: 25
S71 BUF: GP: 21, G: 12, A: 9, P: 21, +/-: 6, H: 24, SH: 97
S72 BUF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -4, H: 7, SH: 25
S73 BUF: GP: 6, G: 3, A: 0, P: 3, +/-: -3, H: 11, SH: 33
S74 WPG: GP: 22, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: -2, H: 15, SH: 37
TOT : GP: 161, G: 51, A: 55, P: 106, +/-: -11, H: 182, SH: 559
------------------------------------------------------------
KAL ÅKAR KEKKONEN | D | DETROIT FALCONS
NAME: Kal Åkar Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: The Wilderness, Gielinor
HEIGHT: 6'6"
WEIGHT: 240 lbs
NUMBER: 75
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S74 DET: GP: 66, G: 6, A: 14, P: 20, +/-: 3, SH: 83, H: 76, SB: 29
S75 DET: GP: 66, G: 8, A: 22, P: 30, +/-: 31, SH: 129, H: 123, SB: 114
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S74 DET: GP: 17, G: 3, A: 7, P: 10, +/-: 8, SH: 18, H: 16, SB: 5
S75 DET: GP: 14, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: 2, SH: 40, H: 26, SB: 27
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promising start, then trash after that
[S69] Tiberius Kane | Left Wing | GFG | 473 TPE
S67: WJC Silver
S68: Drafted 3rd Overall to GFG
S68: Drafted 14th Overall to TEX
S69: WJC Bronze
[S67] Nichael Fitted + [S64] Backup Goaltender
[S50] Tom Fiddler | Two-Way Center | Peak 2006 TPE | RETIRED
Drafted 4th round, 34th overall in S49 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 2nd round, 24th overall in S50 SHL Entry Draft
Traded to Tampa Bay for a ham sandwich in S52
* = First Place
Career Stats | GP | G | A | P | +/- | Hit | SB | Sh | GA | TK
SHL Regular | 657 | 144 | 284 | 428 | -213 | 777 | 1013 | 1520 | 292 | 393
SHL Playoffs | 39 | 5 | 14 | 19 | -16 | 63 | 52 | | |
IIHF Regular | 168 | 19 | 45 | 64 | 7 | 153 | 90 | | |
SHL Regular Season Stats
Szn |Team| GP | G | A | P | +/- | TOI | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S53 | TBB | 50 | 5 | 15 | 20| -24| 17:16 | 46 | 77 | 56 | 10
S54 | TBB | 45 | 1 | 10 | 11 | -80 | 18:35 | 60 | 171 | 55 | 17
S55 | TBB | 50 | 1 | 19 | 20 | -56 | 18:37 | 31 | 86 | 82 | 14
S56 | TBB | 50 | 5 | 15 | 20 | -35 | 19:22 | 34 | 112 | 101| 20
S57 | TBB | 66 | 14 | 32 | 46 | -26 | 24:48 | 64 |100 |152 | 20
S58 | TBB | 66 | 29 | 40 | 69 | -2 | 25:59 |100| 74 |180 | 20
S59 | TBB | 66 | 19 | 39 | 58 | -3 | 25:33 |105| 95 |188 | 14
S60 | TBB | 66 | 23 | 23 | 46 | 4 | 22:33 | 66 | 50 |159 | 26
S61 | TBB | 66 | 10 | 35 | 45 | 12 | 22:17 | 98 | 72 |182 | 20
S62 | TBB | 66 | 16 | 23 | 39 | -2 | 20:23 |104 | 57 |183 | 4
S63 | TOR | 66 | 21 | 33 | 54 | -1 | 20:29 | 69 |119 |182 | 39
SHL Playoff Stats
Szn |Team| GP | G | A | P | +/- | TOI | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S59 | TBB | 5 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -6 | 22:11 | 10 | 5 | 12 | 0
S60 | TBB | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | -6 | 22:49 | 8 | 1 | 7 | 0
S61 | TBB | 13 | 1 | 9 | 10 | 0 | 21:06 | 17 | 13 | 29 | 0
S62 | TBB | 12 | 1 | 3 | 4 | -4 | 20:01 | 20 | 18 | 24 | 2
S63 | TOR | 5 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 21:16 | 8 | 15 | 15 |0
SMJHL Career | GP: 200| G: 36 | A: 102 | P: 138 | +/-: 42
SMJHL Playoff Career | GP: 52| G: 9 | A: 23 | P: 32 | +/-: 5
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S49 | MTL | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 16 | P: 19 | +/-: 2 | FO%: 42.43% | FOT: 898
S50 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: -6 | FO%: 50.93% | FOT: 1237
S51*| CAR | GP: 50 | G: 11 | A: 38 | P: 49 | +/-: 24 | FO%: 53.08% | FOT: 1313
S52 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 16 | A: 33 | P: 49 | +/-: 22 | FO%: 53.33% | FOT: 1202
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S49*| MTL | GP: 17 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 51.96% | FOT: 433
S50*| CAR | GP: 18 | G: 4 | A: 5 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 50.28% | FOT: 356
S51 | CAR | GP: 6 | G: 2 | A: 2 | P: 4 | +/-: -1| FO%: 47.68% | FOT: 151
S52 | CAR | GP: 11 | G: 1 | A: 9| P: 10 | +/-: -4| FO%: 51.34% | FOT: 261
Awards
S49 Four Star Cup
S50 Four Star Cup
S51 Laurifer Trophy
S51 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Honorary 3-way Laurifer Paricipation Trophy
S52 Alternate Captain of Carolina
S52 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Kurtis Hunter Award for Team's Choice MVP
S52 IIHF Gold Medal
S53 IIHF Bronze Medal
S54 The Winless Season
S54 IIHF Silver Medal
S55 IIHF Gold Medal
S56 IIHF Silver Medal
S57 IIHF Silver Medal
S58 IIHF Silver Medal
S60 IIHF Silver Medal
S61 IIHF GoldMedal
IIHF Federation Head - Great Britain
S56: Silver
S57: Silver
S58: Silver
S59: DNQ
S60: Silver
S61: Gold
S62: DNQ
S68: Lost 1st Round
S69: Bronze
Fuck the penaltys
ARGARGARHARG