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S54 PT #4 - Cooking Show

Juke's cooking show would be titled Juke's Soups. Mostly just cause the name sort of rhymes, because really Jukka likes to cook all sorts of things. Growing up in Finland, and spending the last few seasons in Newfoundland, a warm bowl of soup became a perfect remedy for the cold. The show will expand into more than just soup, and get into the realm of chilis, stews, and chowders as well, all accompanied with Juke's homemade sourdough bread for dunking or bread bowls. The show wouldn't make for good television at all - most of these homemade dishes take hours to make, and would probably just feature Juke becoming increasingly drunk in the hours it takes to make them. You'd be crazy to assume that (clean) Andrei doesn't make a guest appearance, but the whole NL team is always invited on the show to play video games and take shots with a pot of broth slowly simmering for 6 hours in the background.

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This one is easy, my cooking show is 'Vittles with Vandy'.

The premise? Easy to cook homemade meals on a budget. For example, I love BBQ but with meat prices so high, how do I get to enjoy my little taste of heaven without shelling out big bucks. Easy, you get a reasonably priced brisket and you put it in the crock pot with homemade glaze and after 8 hours, you have pulled pork so tender you can cut it with a spoon. As I am playing in Buffalo, I'd try to get Binging with Babish to let me come on his show or he on mine so he can help me come up with better recipes for the crock pot or learn from him better ways and easier ways to cook good food for cheap and stuff I can enjoy on the go. Of course, Id also be cooking something for my teammates to enjoy.




If Elizabeth Doyle had a TV show, the name would probably be simple. Irish Cooking with Elizabeth Doyle. She’s pretty proud of her country and would want to share all kind of recipes coming from there. She would of course invite some special guess, mostly players across the league. I can see her doing it as a freelancer, on YouTube most likely. She doesn’t want to have a big team around her doing the show, she would prefer a one-one with her guest and the simplicity of being able to pick the shots she wants. She would probably spend some of her free time editing the videos and posting them online on a bi-weekly basis. This allow her to have enough time to invite someone to shoot a video and to edit it while still being able to play competitively. She would keep one or two video ahead of posting so she can submit them when there’s a road game stretch.

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Esa Parmborg already has a reputation in the food industry so this is right up his alley. His cooking show would be called "Parmin' aint easy" a show in which he would try to make all kinds of food into some sort of parm dish. The typical go-to chicken parm, eggplant parm, meatball parm, sausage & peppers parm etc are standards but you can put sauce and cheese on pretty much anything. How about bacon parm, or meatloaf parm or turkey parm, and while Esa Parmborg is obviously not well versed in vegetables I imagine there's a lot of options there as well. I'd need to call in a vegetables expert on that, someone in shape who likes to eat healthy, I don't really know anyone like that otherwise I'd tag them here ___. I do know a few people I'd have on as experts in their fields though, maybe @BarnabasCollins could come up with some kind of baked good parm recipe for the show and perhaps @kikish18 could bring in some Latvian dishes we could turn into parms, shashlik parm has potential. I would also have a beer specialist on the show to help wash all the delicious parms down, so I'd bring in @Katth who is a world renowned beer expert. Lots of good options for the show and one thing is for sure, Parmin' ain't easy would definitely be a hit among balding fat guys over 30.

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---
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Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
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Alexei Petrikov would have a cooking show where he brings in his teammates from all over the world and has them cook a regional dish or a dish that is near and dear to their hearts, and then he makes them a Russian dish. The show segment could be called Alexei's Kitchen Trips, since his teammates would come over to his place to film and cook, but it would also be like he was traveling to their hometown. Some of the people he would have guests would also be his teammates from Russia, as Russia is a big country and there is a lot of diversity there. Another thing that would happen in this show is that the guests would have to bring a bottle of a famous drink from their area to share, as well as taking vodka shots with Alexei. This allows for a more relaxed show, and lets Alexei try new things.

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Hugh Jazz Pancakes Episode-

Jazz's favourite food has to be pancakes. There is a lot of different types of pancakes that you can make blueberry pancakes, cheesecake pancakes cinnamon pancakes, Japanese Pancakes. But the simple pancakes with butter and syrup are great too. Jazz's Recipe for pancakes is this. 1 cup of flour, teaspoon salt, teaspoon baking power, teaspoon of sugar Mix that together well. Then have your liquids where you melt butter and put it in buttermilk which could be made by putting some vinegar into milk or just having expired milk. Add some vanilla to that mixture and mix that with your dry mixture. Throw in your egg yolk too. THen in a small bowl put your egg whites and some sugar, and mix until stiff peaks. Fold that into the pancakes batter. Make sure your mix is lumpy then cook on a non-stick pan on medium

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With Karlstraße Scholz had his own cooking show I think a fitting name would be "Cookin' With Karl". As is tradition with any cooking show he'd bring on some SHL talent to help him whip up a tasty dish while they talk shop and all things SHL. He'd start small and pull from the Blizzard organisation, but the show flourished he'd begin to bring in players from other teams, maybe even other leagues. The food itself would largely be comfort food. I'm talking burgers, milkshakes, meatloaf, skillets, etc but all with nice, quality and fresh ingredients. For his first episode he’d bring in the Tuck brothers, Tor and Tommy, to help him prepare some gourmet macaroni and cheese meat loaf. For added flavor they’d use ground bison meat as opposed to ground beef and then kick it up a notch with 5 types of cheese to pair with 2 varieties of macaroni.

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Wachter is far away from being called a talented chef cook. He is more the type of the helper at the hot dog seller in your street. But some very stupid idiot have decided to give him a cooking show. And for the reason he can't cook it probably will end in a fiasco. Hopefully it will be entertaining. I already feel sorry for the poor souls who have to try the food. Better if a doctor is present at the show. So with all that in your mind, be ready for Alexander Wachter cooking an very traditional Austrian food (wow what a surprise, but the show runner wanted it that way) called Wiener Schnitzel. We'll see him tapping meat, shouldn't be too hard to do wrong. And all the other steps on the way to get a perfect Wiener Schnitzel at the end. Because it's a cooking show with a hockey player, we will have a lot of hockey talks during the preparation of the meal with many funny and spicy sayings.

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Alexander Wachter, RW, S51
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"Barkov's Bistro" would be a cooking show about Barkov learning how to cook from much more experienced people and watching him make ridiculous mistakes trying to cook even the most basic of meals. The first segment would introduce a tasty dish that would be on the menu for the show and interviewing the guest chef. The second segment would be the guest chef attempting to guide Barkov through the process by showing him the basics, and trying to talk him through the process without actually making the meal. The final segment would have Barkov attempt to prepare the meal with little outside help based on the instruction he has received thus far. Often times Barkov may forget the exact amount of each ingredient belongs in the recipe or may miss something all together. Highlights so far include: A cake that is as hard as a rock. Spaghetti and meatballs with pasta that is little more then mush, and much more! Tune in on Wednesdays at 3PM!

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Joseph Weston is an untalented chef, with no substantial ability to create things in the kitchen that are worthy of note. As such, Joseph Weston works to follow the example of the more talented chefs in the Calgary Dragons Locker Room. This means taking the careful instruction and advice from more qualified people like Vilde, and working to follow their recipes and instructions to the letter. There are no cooking shows in Joseph Weston's house, there's just simple and by the book meals made happily. While not the most glamorous approach, this ultimately should be expected. On and off the ice Joseph Weston is not focused on shows or vast excessive displays. At the end of the day he just wants to get the best result for himself and the team, and sometimes that means just following the instructions while keeping your head down. Whatever works best is the best way forward!

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S66 Damian Littleton


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Battleborn | Barracuda | Usa

Commander Shepard’s cooking show is called; “I’m Commander Shepard and this is the best cooking show on the citadel!” Shepard cooks a wide variety of foods from across the galaxy from the ever simple garden salad or hamburger from Earth to the more exotic dishes from the galaxy like Pyjak teryaki noodle, or a simple Varren steak. Shepard tends to bring a special guest on the show quite a bit. Shepard has invited his good buddy Garrus on the show to cook some common Turian meals and if possible eat them together. As one time Shepard had a meal that was not meant for human consumption that was cooked by Wrex. Shepard wanted to show he was tough enough but ended up vomiting everywhere and being taken to the hospital. Every day Shepard cooks a different species food and has the respective guest on the show. It was a hit back in his Spectre days and continues to be a hit now back in time on Earth.

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Kyle Sutton’s favourite dish is mac and cheese, so it only makes sense that his cooking show would revolve around this. The working title is “Shredded”. The show would start off with a 12-episode season airing weekly and promote itself as the dish of the week. There are so many different variations of mac and cheese, from the types of cheese you use, the type of pasta, or additional ingredients to enhance the dish. Do you bake it in the oven? Have you ever tried mac and cheese on the barbecue? Kyle Sutton love’s ham in his mac and cheese, but ground beef is pretty good too. Each episode of Shredded will explore a different combination of ingredients to make a dish that could be served as a main in a local restaurant. There would also be an interactive element to the show as well, where fans could submit wacky suggestions that shouldn’t work, and Kyle will find a way to make it taste good.

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What is the name of your player's cooking show? What type(s) of food will they cook? Will they invite on any special guests? Describe the show - either the overall concept, or the details of a single episode.

"Welcome to Le Bouchard's Botanical Bakery Bonanza!" is the opening line of Maxime's cooking show. It's 'the' Bouchard's because each fortnight Maxime brings on a special guest to help him cook, and those special guests consist of his family. He doesn't actually know if they are his family or not, but he gets his agent to weed through his unsolicited social media mail and find the ones that claim to be. Funnily enough they are always in some state of financial need and Maxime has always found it oddly coincidental that he's the only one who can help them. Regardless of that, he invites them to demonstrate their abilities in the kitchen with him in promise of 'helping them out' after. Of course, the helping them out is making sure that they get paid minimum wage for their time on the show and never talking to them again, but it's something right? Most of them turn out to be horrendous bakers, and have no idea of the properties of yeast or the time it takes for the yeast to properly develop and eat it's food. So the final product is usually some semblance of goo, and is promptly taste tested by the family chef who just baked it. Sweet, sweet justice.

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Maxime Bouchard
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Richard Dickbutt McFudderdudder II
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