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Arayvenn · 08-21-2020, 08:45 PM

Dear Diary,

All is not well in the Dangerverse. When I went to check on Jimbo he was nowhere to be found. I didn't think much of it, it seemed pretty obvious to me that the invisibility potion had just kicked in a few hours late as the wizard said it might. His cell phone, wallet, and all of his other little bits and bobs were in his room so I figured he couldn't have gone far. We carried on playing like he wasn't there, won some games, nobody seemed to notice. I didn't really see any reason to report this to anybody. The man's just invisible. If he wanted us to find him he would make a sound or something. The decision to not tell anybody was apparently a bad move according to my talent agent. Within a few days the po are crawling all over the rink and training facility and coach is telling us Jimbo's dead, unreal. I obviously know this to not be true and so I filled every one in on what actually happened with the invisibility potion and I was told to inform one of the officers immediately. I filled donut in on what happened and he told me they wanted to bring me in to get it all on film and whatnot. I told them what happened again, this time there was another cop there and this guy lost his cool real quick. Told me I was spouting fairy tales and that there was no such thing as an invisibility potion. Well then how the heck does this guy explain what happened to Jimbo? He started saying he was going to charge me with obstruction of justice if I kept telling such outlandish lies and that got me real spooked so I clammed up and demanded a lawyer. They were real nice after that but I held firm. They didn't even bother after that, just let me go immediately. And I haven't been bothered since other than big donut making a few moronic comments to the media. He's going to look like a fool when Jimbo reappears. Imagine calling us out as junkies to the media! Junkies! It was an I N V I S I B I L I T Y P O T I O N you dense fucking pastry. I've told you exactly what happened a million times and you're still sitting there dumbfounded. Lousiest detective/sheriff work I've seen in my life and when our names are cleared and reputation restored we will 100% be filing a defamation suit against the PD.

Speaking of people having ridiculous ideas about what happened to Jimbo, when I was finally released from questioning (which took like 4 hours with absolutely no evidence I thought this was a free country??????) I booked an Uber home (driver didn't wear a mask... but I'm not gonna send an email or anything I'm not a Karen y'know? Even though they would probably refund it if I did I'm not like that.) and was immediately bombarded by my talent agent, James Bond. He was all sweaty and out of breath and he couldn't explain how he got into my apartment but he's absolutely convinced Jimbo's been kidnapped and brought to Moscow. He had some evidence to show me, but he was in a hurry to go. Said he was heading straight to Moscow and didn't know when he would be back but that if I ever get a call from a 495 or 499 area code to answer with a keyword, and if he doesn't respond with another keyword I'm not to say anything. Or something like that. I don't really remember what either keyword was, I was so exhausted from the questioning. The evidence he left behind is still somewhere in this apartment, I should probably go through it soon. It might help clear my name of the slanderous and vile lies thrown upon it by big donut. More than likely it's probably all nonsense. I seen Jimbo take that invisibility potion with my own eyes and that street wizard did not seem like the type to tell lies. My secret talent agent, James Bond, has always been quick to take to crazy conspiracy theories.

The actual hockey's taken a decent turn lately. We've won some games, the newer guys are settling into the team and we're starting to really see a way forward for this team. I've started scoring again and all around I'm feeling good about our game and our ability to make some noise next year. We have an active, star studded D core. An active tandem in net with the acquisition of Supernaw. Our forward core is starting to fill out too and with a solid draft there's no reason we shouldn't be full of active members next season. We have quite a few first gens who will be playing maxed next season which is a great sign as well, and our locker room is as active and engaged as ever. I see a bright future for us.

It's a little lonely not having Jimbo around, I wish he'd make a noise or knock something over y'know? But I understand that he is probably just enjoying his new found, invisible solitude. I've managed to avoid all pressers and media events since Mr. Bond has been gone. I always mess those things up for myself when I go them alone. I haven't heard from him since he left about 10 days ago. Which is weird, he said I should've expected a call from him a few days after he arrived in Moscow.... Anyway the detectives seized my phone as evidence when they interrogated illegally harassed me. I haven't bothered replacing it. I've been enjoying my time without it, I feel kinda free. Like I'm no longer a slave to social media. I hope James Bond calls me soon. I'm dreading giving an end of season presser without him. While it is a little lonely with some staples in my life missing right now, on the positive side I'll be alone and unsupervised for the draft! We're definitely throwing a 3rd-4th round kegger. I'm looking forward to getting drafted. I hope hotdog releases his damn branding soon.

Anyway I'm going to look for the guy that gave Jimbo the invisibility potion. I drew a sketch for the officers but I can't draw for shite and they thought it was all a buncha nonsense and weren't interested anyway. The street wizard should be able to tell me when the effects will expire and Jimbo will be visible once again. Worst case scenario he can give me some of what he gave Jimbo and I can disappear from these useless detectives. In these uncertain times I take comfort in the reassuring constants of the world. Tampa Bay is bad and Detroit is a sh**hole.

With love,
Chad

Jala · 08-22-2020, 03:09 AM

Mayhaps you're the reason people keep disappearing around you? First Jimbo now your agent?!

J'accuse!

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