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THE DREAM IS OVER
#1

Good morning everyone. Welcome back to your seventeenth favourite hockey related analysis show. This is Hockeyyyyyy; Right Now. I’m Pauline Mieleg with some rather somber news. With the SMJHL and SHL seasons just beginning, we have seen one players hopes and dreams come crashing down around him. We have a recent award winner whose life may never be the same. Of course, I’m talking about TURG TURG.

It all started in the second game of the season for the Anchorage Armada. After beating the Carolina Kraken in the first game, TURG and the Armada were fired up to play the Kelowna Knights. In a hard fought game that went all the way to a shootout, it was TURG TURG and Slava Petrov who put the final daggers into the Knights, putting the puck past Knights goalie, Peter Ramsey to win the game 4-3. But the real news came just sixteen minutes and thirty seconds into the first period of the game. TURG TURG took a high sticking penalty.

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You heard it right, folks. Don’t adjust your television sets. TURG TURG, star left wing for the Anchorage Armada of the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League and most recent recipient of the Ron Bolt Trophy for most sportsmanlike player, has taken a high sticking penalty. Gone are the old sportsmanlike ways of Season Fifty-Six TURG TURG. With a whopping two (2) penalty minutes in his first five games, it would appear that TURG has taken on a new goonish personality.

TURG would take to his personal Twitter account to try and defend and explain his actions.

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I’m not sure how many people believe that. But time will tell if TURG will be able to appeal the penalty call and keep his squeaky clean record. While it is impressive that TURG TURG dropped 83 hits on his opponents last season and picked up 0 penalty minutes, it would all have been for nothing if he damages his reputation this year.

Shortly after the game, TURG also tweeted this image out, seemingly promoting a new book.

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The two-way winger also found himself in the penalty box in the final preseason game of the fifty-seventh season. For fighting a rookie. TURG, not only picked up regular season penalty minutes in the form of a violent and brutal high stick. But he also threw down with a Vancouver Whalers rookie. What a peanut butter licking lowlife. TURG, of course, took to Twitter to try and defend his actions.

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It is quickly becoming more and more apparent that TURG TURG is a deeply disturbed individual. How long can he keep getting away with this? It’s only a matter of time before he resorts to cannibalism on the ice. And are we going to let him get away with it? Maybe. But that’s not the point.

Does TURG TURG really deserve his Ron Bolt win? You be the judge.

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#2

LOL

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[Image: 401.png] [Image: S42cup1.png] [Image: r-Wt4-AB350oooo.png][Image: WuTGq5J.png][Image: XUMDqMO.png]
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#3

absolutely amazing

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Fuck the penaltys
ARGARGARHARG
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#4

Subscribe

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#5

OH TURG, MY FAIR TURG, WHAT TROUBLES DOST AIL YOU?

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Forge  S69 Challenge Cup Champion - Philadelphia Forge   Forge
Renegades Renegades  S59 & S62 Challenge Cup Champion - Texas Renegades  Renegades  Renegades 
 Armada  S57 Four Star Cup Champion - Anchorage Armada  Armada 
Finland  Finland  S57 & S58 WJC / S62, S64 & S66 IIHF Gold Medalist - Team Finland   Finland  Finland
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After 69 shots on net with still no SHL goals to show for it, even the opposition started to feel so sorry for Lemo, that they decided to help him out :D
- Bad pass by Jack Klompus, he gave it right to Lemo Pihl.
- Lemo Pihl rips it to the net...
- Lemo Pihl will find the empty net, that should do it!
TEX @ MAN, S59 game 31
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#6

I like this human.
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#7

Sad to see such an innocent young lad with so much potential turn to a life of crime...

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