12-14-2020, 01:02 AM(This post was last modified: 12-14-2020, 01:03 AM by hotdog.)
I was inspired by recent conversations in the Atlanta LR to think about a Battle Royale type scenario - a massive physical fight where only one will emerge victorious - in an SHL context. For this PT, describe what would happen in a Battle Royale on your team - either among users or among players. Which players/users would be the top contenders on your team to win a physical fight? Who would stand no chance and get ousted immediately? (again, you can focus on either the SHL players or the users behind the players.)
Written task: 150 words min. Graphic task: Show us a scene from the battle (with team uniforms included)
You will receive 3 TPE for fulfilling all requirements. Deadline: Sunday, December 20th at 11:59PM ET
Affiliate claims from either PBE or ISFL are accepted; link directly to your post and note if your username is different there.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me.
This task is for SHL players and send downs only, it is not for SMJHL rookies.
12-14-2020, 01:02 AM(This post was last modified: 12-20-2020, 11:40 PM by hockeyiscool.)
A Battle Royal among the Tampa Bay Barracuda roster would be quite the sight. Our of the gate there becomes a separation of the elite. Out of the gate Panda Panico just starts sprinting away in a massive panic and people ignore him. Tom Fiddler would use his leadership to befriend the "leader of the D", "The Tank Commander", Jakob Hamr. Having Hamr on his side, Ambacas Cuddles and Elwulf Jericson would surely follow Hamr and Fiddler into this battle. The first casualty of battle would Flash Gordon. His name is a misnomer, this boy is anything but physical. Not only is he one of the weakest players on the squad with 12 strength, his speed and agility is both 9, leaving him to be an easy take down for the aforementioned group. Tobias Lindeman, Ian Venables and Kalevi Karhunen would be swarmed and taken down by the group of Hamr. The group would then swarm the pair of Dwight Knight, James Ronlain, and Michael Fitted. This was a more even fight. Knight was a pylon but was a "brickhouse". Knight gets tag-teamed by cuddles and Fiddler but Knight landed a fatal blow on fiddler, Ronlain wore down the other three but nothing enough to take them down. Being the pre-medonna that Fitted was he alluded the group's advances and just sprinted away from the fight. This fatality on the leader in fiddler, lead to a power struggle between Cuddles and Hamr. until Cuddles and Jericson team up and take down their previous leader in Hamr. As this 2v1 beat down is happening Matty Forrester chimes in and starts to take on Jericson. Fitted returns from the sidelines to take Matty who emerged victorious from the previous engagement. Kalevolaripaavo Käspertommevisnapuu is so bad at moving that he trips and finds a way to take himself out of the fray. This leaves only 4 people left. Zoltan Topalo, Michael Fitted, Justin Keahi and Jack Wilson. Jack Wilson is easily taken down by Topalo. When Keahi and Fitted square off. Keahi swings a bunch of times but the agility of Fitted allows Fitted to dodge every punch thrown his way. Keahi eventually tires out and Topalo comes in from the side and lands a blow the take Keahi down. Fitted then continues his dodging ways in the scrap vs. Topalo but this duel is an even fight. until Topalo channels his super secret forbidden move, The power of Zoltan. This is one of the oldest moves out there and it immediatly freezes Fitted in praise of Zoltan allowing for Topalo to easily win this duel. Then out of the woodwork comes the challenger everyone forgot about, Panda Panico. Panico leaps on the back of Zoltan Topalo and puts him in a sleeper hold and it had him find peace. The winner of this battle royal was Panda Panico.
12-14-2020, 01:12 AM(This post was last modified: 12-21-2020, 12:15 AM by Dextaria.)
With the battle royale it as an all out brawl between the once friendly Toronto North Stars. It begins with quite the bang as our forward "goons" take out the less physical players on the team. That is Adam Barron, Ruslan Zaporozhets, and Danny Marston quickly taking our Taylor Johansson, First-Name Last-Name and Delver Fudgeson right out the gate. This powerhouse team of forwards decide to stick together while an opposing group made of defensemen start to band together. It is Ursin Zimmermann and Axel Meszaros calling the shots followed by rookies Ryosuke Sato and Luffy Richard. The rest of the team is left scrambling to either hide or find themselves group while the powerhouse goon squad begins to pick them off one-by-one with their brute strength and fighting capabilities. Soon it is Bobby Lane, Ricky Bobby, and Anthony Archer that are taken down and quickly lose their supplies. The Barron-Zaporozhets-Marton team fully loaded up with the gear from their fallen enemies continue the hunt as the others are trying to avoid them.
Half the team gone and only a few remaining, lonewolf Rhys Pritchard decides that the only way to win is to set up traps and hide while the other teams fight each other. His thought process was correct as the goon squad soon found the pair of goalies Harry Carpet and Scoochie Stratton. Both Carpet and Stratton were heavily armored and were lucky enough to take down Barron but Zaporozhets and Marston were too much to handle, quickly ending the two.
Three groups and seven total remain. The D squad took control of the middle while the goon squad were deciding how to attack. However, while on a reconnaissance mission for the D squad, the rookies Luffy and Sato were sent back out of their stronghold. Sato was foolish and fell into on of Pritchard's traps and Luffy was silenced quickly afterwards once Rhys noticed one of his traps went off. During this time, the goon squad and D squad fought at the center with only Marston and Meszaros left once Pritchard made it there. The final showdown happened in pitch black with thunder in the background. Through the mud and rain one victor stood... It was none other than Meszaros who won the battle royale.
12-14-2020, 01:16 AM(This post was last modified: 12-14-2020, 06:41 PM by Faelax.)
If the players on Buffalo would be thrown into a battle royale, there are a few people I could see being really successful in it. There are no real dedicated fighters on Buffalo, so no one really jumps off as an obvious choice, but there are some sleeper picks I think could be really good. Monkey D. Luffy is an amazing physical specimen, he is incredibly strong and hard to knock down. In addition to that, he is very good with his hands, and you don't want to be on the receiving of those. Guy like Selich, Wang, and Hernadivic would also be really good in this area. Someone who wouldn't be good though? Alexander Roach. Seeing as he is really bad on the ice, it is easy to assume that he would be really bad in a battle royale arena as well. He would be out so fast, you could blink and miss him getting knocked out.
For this PT, describe what would happen in a Battle Royale on your team - either among users or among players. Which players/users would be the top contenders on your team to win a physical fight? Who would stand no chance and get ousted immediately? (again, you can focus on either the SHL players or the users behind the players.)
If a battle royale were to happen within the Edmonton (hopefully this would never happen) there would be some people I believe that would come out on top and some that would be defeated rather easily.
For the individuals that I think would come out on top would be Jean-Paul Bolvin, Karlstrasse Scholz, FR Finn-Rhys and Tony Pepperoni. All of these guys are very physical on the ice and it would be a nightmare to have to face them in a physical fight.
People that would stance no chance would definitely have to include myself (James Truong) as I am more of a fragile and frail individual. I try at all costs to avoid physical confrontation on the ice (unless when throwing a bodycheck). I will only say that I would be the one to only fall because I don't want to throw any teammates under the bus and risk having to have a confrontation with them in the LR.
12-14-2020, 01:39 AM(This post was last modified: 12-14-2020, 01:41 AM by 5ympathies.)
If a battle royale were to happen in the SHL I would win. Why, you ask? It's very simple. The same way I would bash in the heads of thieves who steal Nordstrom packages from my mail with a baseball bat, I would bash in the heads of anyone who comes against me. If I didn't have access to a baseball bat, well then I may not be able to bash, but I still will be able to pummel, strike, stab, dummy, and gash anyone who comes at me. These hands were made for throwing and I will throw them all day long. I'm not sure if you've seen that video of those two brown kids fighting each other over whose mom makes the best butter chicken? But I'm one of those kids and I'm ready to make sure you understand that it is my mom that makes the best butter chicken, and if you disagree, you better be ready to catch these hands.
Also imagine making a placeholder
Thanks to JSS for the signature
yosh SMJHL GM
cut back down to my knees, gotta get back, gotta get free, cut back to my knees, lean back now, lean back and breathe
12-14-2020, 01:53 AM(This post was last modified: 12-14-2020, 04:38 PM by yosh.)
Coincidentally, the Newfoundland Berserkers locker room has been running Hunger Games style simulations featuring our team's users on it. Dubbed "Holmgang", referring to a duel practiced by early medieval Scandinavians in order to settle disputes, we have had four iterations of Holmgang in the past month or so. Overall, most Holmgangs have very coincidental overlaps, even if everything is simulated randomly.
For example, no matter what happens, yours truly will never be able to make it past the first day of the competition. Whether it's by getting pushed off of a cliff by SDCore, getting poisoned by Tez, or getting beaten up into next year by bbp, this beeg yosh can't get anywhere close to surviving a full 24 hours.
In the most recent installment, Holmgang IV: Yoshi's Revenge, Ty obtained victory by pushing Corey off of a cliff, satisfying Yoshi's thirst for vengeance in the afterlife as he was killed by bbp earlier in the battle royale, before watching as Toast blew himself up with a land mine by accident.
When looking at the strong team in Quebec City, it might be tough to tell who would win a battle royale. First, we'll consider the fact that the majority of the team has never gotten into a fight on the ice and are most likely immediate write-offs to contend as the victor. Players such as Zdenko Beranek and Kev Kevens don't stand a chance and we'll count them, and similar players, out immediately. By examining the remaining players more closely, we get to a shortlist of six who might contend. Jakobsen, Two, and T. Petrov have the size and weight to hold their own, while Cloudera Jr., Caspari, and B. Petrov are the only members of the team with knowledge of proper fighting techniques. From here, it's clear that Caspari, Two, and T. Petrov will be knocked out first due to lack of on-ice fighting experience, regardless of weight or training. Cloudera Jr. will take a convincing third, having shown he's able to throw a few punches before. Finally, we'll reach the battle of the titans, Bjorn Jakobsen vs Boris Petrov. Jakobsen is the tallest and heaviest player in the league which gives him a huge advantage, but in the end he'll fall the the mighty Boris Petrov who has proven over the last two seasons that he's the uncontested king of fighting. I know I said earlier that it might be tough to tell, but let's be honest we all know that Boris would win any battle royale handily.
I think an Edmonton Battle Royale would have a set of tiers to it. Despite what one of my dear teammates, James Truong , has said, Jean-Paul Boivin opens up the tier of lanky noodle boys who would not be able to hold their own. It would be like seeing an uncooked spaghetti noodle trying to launch an offensive against Mario from the Mario Brothers Super Show, who famously loves pasta. He's got no meat on his body whatsoever. He may hit a lot but fuck, it's like getting a carrot stick tossed at you (this is a joke, JPB is deceptively strong given their size). Along the same vein, Axel Foley, William Hartmann, Kyle Sutton, and Daniel LaForest wouldn't stand a chance. They have young minds and spry bodies, but they lack the expertise of experienced fighters.
On the sidelines of this battle royale the aforementioned James Truong would opt not to fight, and no one would want to fight them. Alongside them would be Emiko Spector, who as the teams net minder, is safe from attacks for obvious reasons. Monty Montgomery isn't so lucky, since the team has seen the effects of Peter Ramsay's net presence, and he is therefore expendable. Jon Forty-One is another player I feel would stay out of conflict, they're a giving player with their league-leading assist counts, but not in the business of giving their team the business with physical threats.
In the tier of capable fighters I have to point to my proposed winner: Julio Tokolosh. Tokolosh has a lot of power, throws their weight around, and is a literal cow. I mean like, the humane aspect of fighting a cow is bad enough but to actually, like, do it? How would you even go about that? Maybe the team has to band together to incapacitate Julio with their sticks before fighting? Who knows, Julio's power is out of this world with his bovine origins. The other top contender I see is Tony Pepperoni. Old man strength is a real thing, and I firmly believe that Tony has what it takes to win out over a cow--potentially. On top of leading offseason workouts, Tony has an IQ for the game that makes them a premier two-way centre on Edmonton's second line. Excellent positioning, stick-work, and the grit to block shots make a great combination for the Pepperoni meister. The battle royale may just come down to a bull in a china shop against a seasoned veteran of the league, and there is no telling how this matchup could play out.
This is a fascinating PT because it relies solely on what I know of the online personas of both the players for the Panthers and the users behind them, and this is by no means an easy task. Perhaps if I had met everyone in person I would have a more accurate representation of who would win in a Battle Royale but for now I'll just throw some guesses around. So first to be eliminated or die would be me, hands down. I am not a fighter nor do I have a soldier mentality. I think JT3 would be the ultimate negotiator so he would last until the very end and be betrayed by the winner. I think you'd have most members hold their own and top five would likely be a collection of Orbiting Death, Sve7en, TDZ, JT3, and Fuzz. In the end only the most cunning would win and so I have to go with our leader in Fuzz, as he seems to have the edge that's needed to go all the way. Which is why he will be the one to lead us to a cup!
The Hamilton server battle royale would be a bloodbath. To start off things, the cornucopia in the middle would be shaped like a giant gazebo, so Evangelos Gianoppolous would instantly eliminate himself from the competition by running face first into the glass. Next, there'd be a fight between Rotticus Scott and Theo Morgan over who the better player is, and Rotticus Scott would kill Theo. Then Wen Baters and Skao Anazbif would fight over which one of them has slept through more plans that have been made. No one knows why they're fighting over this or who wins, but someone does. Next we'd have Jason Desreuleaux who is still in this even though he lives in Baltimore, he would be fighting Hallsy, but Hallsy just runs away laughing and this carries on throughout the battle royale (pogchamp fortnite). In the end, Dale Miller would win because no one would be able to find him as he is hiding under a bush. He is just so easily hideable, great skill Dale.
There are a few scenarios that run through my head of what some players/people would do. An example that was the first that came to mind was Jimmy Wagner with his speed running away from people trying to throw sharp objects at the people chasing him. Well just like he does on breakaways he would miss. Now The second scenario would be Mazzatt/Axel Foley just ripping out his veins from his deep hatred for them. I could see Jimmy Slothface just chilling at home with his doors and windows locked smoking and eating, which is not bad at all. Next up would be Jimmy Jimmy and Connor Hutton grabbing their sticks and just having a go at a rink seeing who can slash each other the best and not die. Well, I do believe Jimmy Jimmy would come out on top since everyone else I mentioned is much older and much more fragile than Jimmy JImmy. Yes, I'm looking at you sve7en.