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karlssens · 12-15-2020, 12:24 AM

If the Edmonton Blizzard were to host a battle royale there are a couple names I think would do really well, and a few a think would struggle mightily. My favourites would be some of the old timers that have been around a while, but aren't too old to compete. Guys like Tony Pepperoni, Julio Tokolosh and Karlstraße Scholz rack up big hit totals even though they're in the back nine of their careers. The first fella listed is a special case. Tony is a two way beast on the ice. I bet he'd bring that balanced approach to the kill floor and go full Katniss on our asses. On the flip side I think some of the young finesse fellas will struggle. They'll have a bad ass intro and maybe rack up a couple real stylish kills, but ultimately won't win. I'm looking at you Daniel Laforest and Axel Foley.

***iStegosauruz*** · 12-15-2020, 12:37 AM

PBE PT

Thelastheraclid · 12-15-2020, 01:29 AM

If, hypothetically, the users in the Baltimore Platoon locker room had a crazy falling out and a battle royale broke out I think I would easily come out as the victor. I don't say this because I am some macho bad ass that can drop anybody in a fight. I have the advantage of distance from my teammates. The lion's share of the Platoon is located in North America. Realistically, once the gauntlet is thrown and we all emerge from our homes to fight, everyone in North America is going to take care of themselves. At the moment I think McZ is the only other toonza not located in North America. In the NA division I'm going to say Suave comes out on top because he may or may not do muy thai. Once it is down to Suave, McZ, and me it is just a waiting game. With how the pandemic is trending I am the best off in my Korea bubble. I'll let the virus do my dirty work while I make some kimchi in Zoone's memory and enjoy a bittersweet victory meal.

***retuperkele*** · 12-15-2020, 04:52 AM

In a scenario where the red circle of death would start to take death’s toll, strongest players from Calgary Dragon’s locker room would unite to become one. A wise man once said, alone we are weak but together we are strong. This Dragons based squad would include of course our leader, Esa Parmborg, second hand in command Barry Batsbak, and third but not least, Maxime Bouchard. In physical combat these three guys would wreck any individual or squad below 6ft in a blink of an eye, harnessing their strength and vitality by eating their hearts before laying them to the ground, like true warriors would in act of war. Three more guys, who would not get that much attention and might struggle a bit in a fight would include Luukas Lilja, Mack Daddy and Mats Marner. Young guys like these would get bested out immediately by just few punches, since they skipped combat lessons with the elder guys. Especially Lilja, who has never been seen in a fight so far, would get knocked out of the fight immediately.

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krazko · 12-15-2020, 05:42 AM

If the Maine Timber would compete in a Battle Royal, all the current players on the Timber roster are very lucky that the old alumni Valentín Kalashnikov is no long part of the team as he would have been the clear winner should he have been part of the activities.

With the current players, I think the favorites have to be among the older guys, Rikard Bjerg, Walton Stromberg and Alexander Oscarsson come to mind. They would utilize their experience and more developed set of skills and edge out a win. Especially the defensive key Rikard Bjerg would have to be seen as the favorite. My own Calvin Hobbes is too much of a team player with his pass first attitude and would therefor be picked off early.

Among the younger guys we have a few that could surprise with creativity and mind games to edge out and beat the experienced guys, mostly my thoughts go to Puddles O'Duck, Jonny Tsunami or Fredrik Stefansson (The Professor)
But also Sean Gatez who's developed incredibly fast has a good chance of winning the Timber Battle Royal.

C9Van · 12-15-2020, 06:41 AM

I feel like a battle royale would be 100% up Jon Forty One's street. The dude is highly pissed off, from a cultist background and wants to hurt everyone. So yeah, if this was like Hunger Games or Danganronpa I am fairly certain Jon would either win it all and survive through sheer will power and stubbornness or at least going into the event be a hot favourite. A lot of hockey players are joke designs rather than built for this type of scenarios so I feel confident in saying he would be someone who would survive a long time. Sure, not always the case with these but probability would have me higher than most.

I doubt think the Edmonton boys would survive for long but if some could team up to kill Jon or team with actual Jon they might have a chance to survive longer than usual and may even be able to stab him in the back at the right time. That is easier said than done with Jon since he does not trust anyone but in theory it could work?

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***Acsolap*** · 12-15-2020, 08:54 AM

The team anchorage battle royal squad is made up of a vast array of nationalities and ages.

@ml002 is one of the first on the team sheet. A historical leader of the Armada provides good leadership skills and also has the ability to metamorphosise into a snake. Sadly poor decision making means his chances of surviving until the end are low.

Next up is @dylanjj37 aka the Swiss Pyscho. An adept stalker he will use his prowling abilities and lack of back bone to sneak his way to the end. Whether he can survive the final battle is another question altogether.

@Gwdjohnson is the leader of the team. His noodle like physical characteristics drastically lower his chances of being hit although it comes at cost of striking power. Somehow always seems to end up on the winning team so a good bet to be alive at the end.

@frithjofr provides the team with its devious edge. Will con his way into opposition teams' hearts with sweet nothings only abscond to with their wives weapons when they aren't looking. High chance he kills or is killed by his own team before the end of the battle.

@ThisSeemsFishy. The one and only TURG TURG. Strikes fear into every enemies heart. Did relatively well in the recent hunger games and while he didn't win reports of his demise have been greatly exaggerated. A crowd favourite and surely a hot pick for last man standing.

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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***Hordle*** · 12-15-2020, 09:43 AM

QCC BATTLE ROYAL!!!! THE BIGGEST NIGHT ON THE YEAR! DEATH! BLOOD! GORE! The teams been a powerhouse this season. No reason we can't all murder each other. I'm sure that'll be fine. So starting from the beginning you're most likely gonna have some people teaming up to ensure their odds. Defense with Defense, Forwards with Forwards. Now that would be an issue as forward lines consists of three people. Except that most defensemen are insane and love fighting. I mean Boris could probably kill the whole team by himself. If you look back to the Fantasy Camp we had. We had to make it known that we weren't responsible for deaths caused by Boris. But one thing you're not accounting for is the DROG. Goalies are insane. It's known. It's documented. They have weird pregame rituals some of which might even be blood sacrifices. The DROG is an illusive creature and everyone in QCC knows of it's prowess. With THE Mat Smith leading the way. Forwards might be enticed to jump on him for the numbers game. But then you have the self proclaimed fighting goalie. Tyler Ward who has grinded his goalie stick into a make shift scythe. Honestly no one stands a chance. When you hear the howl of the DROG, you better run for your life!

Also you can't forget about the DROG sponsor. The legendary Goalie Mother herself @Evok. She and @Faelax created the DROG. They unleashed this nightmare upon the battle royal world.

***Ragnar*** · 12-15-2020, 11:02 AM

A battle royale amongst Anchorage Armada players would be a blood bath. Going off sheer size alone, Chimkin Tendy would be a serious problem for the other players. At 6’8”, he is the tallest player on the team, though he only weighs 225 pounds, so he’s a bit of a stick insect. Vladimir Petrov is only two inches shorter but weighs about 40 pounds more, so he’d probably end up being able to throw his reach and he weight around and do some serious damage. The smallest player on the team, another Petrov, this time Slava, at only 5’10” and 175 pounds would probably get thrown around like a child when he had to go up against the bigger guys. Overall, I think the last two standing would be Chimkin Tendy and Vladimir Petrov, and I think that Tendy’s reach alone couldn’t hold up against Petrov’s nearly equal reach and 40 pound weight advantage. Vladimir Petrov would reign supreme, drinking the blood of his [Anchorage team mate] enemies out of their skulls.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

Bruins10 · 12-15-2020, 11:38 AM

My type of humor is one where I can poke things that kind of happen to me. Since it is something I have seen first hand and is starting to be a running joke in the league, I really hope that no one is offended from my Battle Royale.
But seeing how some people make comments about the fall of the Specters, at this point it would be cool to see who will be the last player left from the Season 48 team on the Specters. Eventually, everyone has to reitre and move on from the league, like JoeK and even Nicholas Williams did this season going on his farewell tour. We have the likes of Michael Fox and Jimmy Slothface aswell as Demaricus Smyth who have gone on to wear other teams jerseys and moved onto other cities within the SHL.
As of right now, there are 7 players remaining from that Challenge Cup winning Specters team, and crazy because it was only 3 seasons ago.
Odelein, Claude, Cain, Saarinen Jr., Manius, Cloutier, Johnson are the only ones remaining and I do not know who is going to be the last one to stay on the team. Saarinen has the best chance because he is the youngest and really an active user aswell. Manius and Cain would be my first guess for players who would be out the door first just because they are older. They are fighting regression and might decide to recreate if they want to start a new career.
The only other option is a trade for the Specters, which is always a possibility. There is so much turn around and action in this league, who knows. My money would be on Saarinen though.

*takethehorizon* · 12-15-2020, 11:47 AM

The following is a depiction of if all Texas Renegade players if they were dropped into Verdansk (the warzone map) for an all out battle royale based on the player, not the user.

Upon immediately dropping in, Adam Scianna would try to get everyone together to talk it out and explain how we don't need to fight...before immediately getting his head blown off by tough guy Piotr Horvat who also leads the team in hits at this point in the season. Noah Brusky and Cillian Kavanagh would be found camping prone in some house by the door praying nobody comes near them. Burlok Sulfurgold would get bonus points for looks with that glorious beard of his but ultimately wouldn't last til the end. The Norwegian native, Kvalheim would definitely get most kills out of everyone on the team. Bjorn Leppanen would most likely be in the top 5 at the end due to his enforcer status and no one would want to mess with him in fear of they wouldn't get playing time after the royale ends. The battle royale ends with Kvalheim just nudging out Kekkonen to take home the win.

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notoriousTRON · 12-15-2020, 12:49 PM

The Toronto North Stars have some interesting characters on the team and a Battle Royale would be interesting. My answer to this question will probably be different when Juni Panda joins the roster, as he would be the best bet to be the last man standing in an all North Stars brawl. In order to project how this theoretical brawl would go, I turned to the player ratings for the Toronto roster. Ruslan Zaporozhets and Axel Meszaros would probably be the instigators as they have the highest Aggression in the group. However, Axel would probably give up before things got too out of hand due to his low Bravery and Fighting. Which truly begs the question “what is ML trying to accomplish with this build?” With Axel out of the picture, Ruslan would turn his attention to Ursin Zimmerman, who is also fairly brave, but he would likely not put up much of a fight as he only has a 5 in his Fighting skill. Actually, looking at the attributes, I don’t see much of anything that would stand a chance against Ruslan. Adam Barron is the next best fighter and is plenty Brave, but his low aggression suggest he’s better as a defender. Maybe he would step in to defend Axel after he tucks his tail… the more likely scenario is that after Axel embarrasses himself, the team calms down Ruslan with a beer and decides that they’re all going to get drunk and talk shit on the rest of the Great Lakes teams.

Sig Cred: Carpy, ML, RainDelay, Donini & Geekusoid

**leafs1997** · 12-15-2020, 03:42 PM

So, if a Battle Royale were to be held within the Kelowna Knights, we'd have to assume Teddy Park, Cian McFelter, and Richard LaFleur would be involved, seeing how they're the only Knights to have engaged in an on-ice fight this season (Teddy has been in 2). Right off the bat, they haven't won any! I guess a Battle Royale between people that can't fight is still a Battle Royale, right? In terms of experience, Teddy will have the upper hand, since the veteran KEL Captain would be going up against Cian and Richard, both of whom have a grand total of 1 fight to their name. Teddy also has slightly better stamina (14 vs 13s), so he'll be able to last longer in this Battle Royale format. Clearly, Teddy's been preparing for the Battle Royale, considering his fighting is at 11 vs base 5s for both Richard and Cian. So, Teddy's coming in first. I think Cian may hang back a bit with his lower bravery (5) compared to Richard (7) and Teddy (10), so I'll tag Richard to come in 2nd and Cian comes in 3rd. Where am I (Vlastislav Malik), you ask? Watching from afar with a bowl of popcorn, of course!

StadiumGambler · 12-15-2020, 04:34 PM

I feel that for a Winnipeg Jets battle royale, Jax Duggan and Nick Brain would be good bets. Nick Brain plays rugby and is a physical player who loves contact, and was known as a pretty decent fighter in his day who took care of himself. "Hollywood" Jax Duggan is a physically strong defender with good balance, corresponding with his Hamilton Steehawks-style spartan physical training, and has potential lineage and relations to Hall of Fame wrestler Jim Duggan, a noted tough guy. Duggan could conceivably hold his own in a battle royal or a bar fight and it one to watch.

The weakest entrant would probably be Jason Desrouleaux. He's a good guy and an honest pro, but his strength is a little low for SHL standards, the guy doesn't have all the physical tools at this stage of his career to hold his own against adults in a big-time fist fight. He's also probably a little undersized at 194 lbs compared to the Jets bigger, badder players.

Andy · 12-15-2020, 04:41 PM

With the way that Nevada is playing I am not surprised a battle royal has not already broken out. I think out of the roster I think a lot of the forwards would be the first that would get dropped. Sven Gunnar @Noah Johns would be two prime examples of players who would be eliminated early. In the final grouping I could see Zelma duking it out as well Kimanje throwing some good punches as they have been around the block and would be able to fend off the young guns. I think in the final grouping would be Zoidberg, Strongo, Weaver and Kamado. I think to get there the two defenseman would have teamed up till they had to duke it out. I think Strongo coming from another team toughened him up and Weaver being a goalie just makes him tough especially with how bad the team is. I think for me Weaver would end up on top as he must be the most frustrated with our poor performance. Congrats to @W19eaver for beating up the rest of our team

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