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awils13 · 12-19-2020, 10:12 AM

Hugh Jazz would probably win a battle royale between Hamilton players. I mean, he is 8'3'' and weighs 355 pounds with amazing physical strength, what an absolute unit. No one is going to be able to compete with that. Doesn't matter what weapons you have, he's just gonna destroy you with his bare hands. Gabriel Johnson and Evangelos Giannopoulos would be killed right away by Bork Lazer because they're simps and that, of course, doesn't sit well with the simp checker. Unfortunately for Guy O'Shea, Bork would also kill him just in case because he's from the JSS family. You might assume that Dale Miller would also be killed shortly after that because of his height but I think he would actually be one of the last ones standings because he got that crazy factor and he might pull off some stuff others didn't expect. The third guy almost to make it to the end? A Jobin because he's so incredibly hot you just can't hurt him.

Huck24 · 12-19-2020, 10:12 AM

ISFL affiliate

BarnabasCollins · 12-19-2020, 10:56 AM

Well if Calgary were to have a battle royal amongst the team there would be a couple prohibitive favorites. Kata Vilde of course due to his wrestling lineage and background and he has actually participated in these events before. The other favorite would have to be Esa Parmborg, mostly from the fact he's just so fucking big. Otis Driftwood would also have to be in the running because he's an old and crafty vet who would figure out a way to stay in. I think the whole team would agree to all gang up on Cale Admundsen and gently set him outside the ring since he's the future in goal and noone wants to take a chance on him getting hurt. Batsbak and Bouchard being very competitive and in the scoring race would probably tangle with each other and eliminate themselves simultaneously. The rest of the team would have a good old time in there as well, no shrinking violets on this Dragons team. In the end it probably comes down to Vilde and Driftwood the old timers with Vilde prevailing.

*Katth* · 12-19-2020, 12:11 PM

So for a Calgary Dragons battle royale we could do a regular one, but as we are all fat and old, I don't see anything good come out of it. It wouldn't be something you would want to see, but here goes.

As the countdown wires down from 10 to 1, all Dragons players are waiting to rush out to the middle where some weapons and supplies are up for grabs. The countdown goes to 0 and most of the team rushes to the middle while Slappydoodle just waits, lits a cigar and laughs at the first people falling to the floor. Esa Parmborg is out first, he was just way to slow to get to the weapons. In the meantime Maxime Bouchard picked up some brass knuckles and knocked the lights out of Bernik Vrzala and Choybuck. Damn that went fast. Barry Batsbak quickly picked up a short sword and a backpack and ran into the woods, but he got shot in the back with a longbow by Leopold Lockhart. What a shot. After about 10 minutes in and everybody being killed near the stash of weapons, it's Slappydoodle who wins the battle royale, simply cause he did nothing. Nothing at all.

The end.

S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7
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PremierBromanov · 12-19-2020, 12:24 PM

the tampa bay barracuda, from the simulation hockey league, are having a battle royale in the keys. Its actually not that uncommon, since this is florida and all. One thing fans might not know is that everyone on the team has survived a battle royale in the past. Particularly, Michael Fitted has survived a number of them, since he is from pittsburgh. You may not know this but Pittsburgh is one massive on-going battle royale . So now that the cudas are out of a playoff spot, probably, weve decided to burn the mother fucker down and host a battle royale . First to die is trella, since he caused us to go 0-50. He gets a skate blade right to the dome. And much like the hunger games, this royale features a love triangle between Tom Fiddler, Michael Fitted, and TURG TURG. Really, its a love arrow since Fiddler and Fitted are both trying to bang Turg so there's not really a 3rd side. Any way, I win.

***TheFlash*** · 12-19-2020, 01:19 PM

In Colorado, I think we’d have an interesting scrap. Of course, the guy you’d be most afraid of is our resident goon, Juni Panda. I think he and his line (Dolphin and Kekalainen) would work as a team until they were the final three left. Rosejac would definitely wear his goalie gear, making it like trying to throw the big show out of the ring. Twenty Twenty is a small dude, I think he’d try and be strategic, maybe hide out and wait until almost everyone is gone before trying to make a move. Terry and Bobby are inactive, so they’d stand there doing nothing! I think some of the rookies would band together, like Basil, Noel and Ruedi in an attempt to stage a mutiny against the vets on the team. Either way, the guys would all meet up for some beers and pizza afterwards!

Samsung virtual assistant · 12-19-2020, 01:24 PM

Really anyone who's ever set foot in the Newfoundland LR will have a good shot at going the distance in a battle royale type situation in the SHL universe. We've seen some absolute killers in there, literally. We all try to hone our skills in our recurring HOLMGANGS, So far we have nobody with more than one win, but we have some ruthless killers in there, with Burd leading the pack at 11 kills, tightly followed by SD and Justice with 10 and 9 respectively. None of these have won it however, our winners with most kills are Ham and BBP with 8 kills each, so i'm inclined to think that one of those would have the best shot out of the people in the Newfoundland LR. My bet would be Ham because he is kinda big brained but dont tell him i said that.

Ty could probably win it too though, he's won one of our games. I'm sure he'd manage to convince someone to kill for him so he'd win in the end.

my last choice would be

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*thedangazone* · 12-19-2020, 01:28 PM

A Los Angeles Panthers battle royale would end only one way and the rest of the team might think otherwise but that scenario ends with Keith Lee coming out victorious in the end every single time. No other person on the team can even begin to match the combat training I already have as I am trained in many wrestling and and combat tactics. I am also physically imposing more so than anyone on the team so they would not be able to take me down in a fight. While some members would be able to maybe outrun me with the pure speed such as Jimmy Wagner and some could use their natural skills at hiding in trees like Jimmy Slothface, these Jimmy's will all fall to the Limitless one , Keith Lee, in the end. Once I hit the spirit bomb or the big bang catastrophe on anyone they will be down for the count, with that count being forever as I power bomb them into their pre-dug graves.

EricNCSU · 12-19-2020, 02:39 PM

Assuming for the sake of this exercise that the battle will be fought with hockey equipment, clearly the advantage goes to the goalies with all that extra equipment and padding they have plus that giant stick. Hell, they even have a shield. They are basically knights in armor. The wingers should be pretty fast and agile, but also smaller, so early on I would expect them to have some success with hit and run attacks but eventually they would probably get overpowered. Centers and Defensemen are going to be a bit slower, but stronger. Lots of lower body strength for hitting and faceoffs. What it's going to eventually boil down to is someone who can hunker down, defend the fort and outlast the other team. That's where I think Texas would have an advantage. Most teams have a scarecrow with an empty helmet as their second goalie, but Texas has two active, strong goalies. Both White Goodman and Cillian Cavanaugh are putting up career seasons of stout blocking and defense. At center we have Andreas Kvalhiem with 109 hits and Ivan Maximus, I mean just that name suggests you shouldn't mess with him. At defense we have Petr Horvat with 117 hits and Bjorn Leppanen with 103 hits. You don't want no smoke from this crowd. Trust me. Sure sure, Battle Royale is last man standing, but I prefer team vs team, and Texas would come out on top, every time.

sulovilen · 12-19-2020, 03:19 PM

A Maine Timber battle royale would be a rough one. Maine, being a rather ascetic place with lots of nature, tends to draw people who aren't afraid of being physical. However, there are some guys that would have a clear advantage.

The biggest favourite I'd say would be Bigga Foryu. Simply because he's huge. I don't know if anyone could really compete with him. Some sneaky picks could be Fredrik "El Profesor" Stefansson and Dogwood Maple. They are guys who have extremely high IQ on and off the ice, and you can never guess their next moves. Another real dark horse could be Puddles O'Duck. I mean, how do you even fight a duck? He's probably very slipper and with his gift of flight he could be impossible to catch. O'Duck could just fly away everytime someone was about to cacth him, and eventually drain their stamina. One more candidate could be Jonny Tsunami. He seems flat out crazy, and would probably be quite the fighter.

CanadianDuck · 12-19-2020, 03:20 PM

The New Orleans Specters Ultimate Showdown (of Ultimate Destiny) was a sight to behold. It all started with a disagreement of which was the better pizza topping, mushrooms, or green peppers. The players made alliances and teamed up against others to further their path to victory. Olli Saarinen, Jr. took out Aleister Cain early to claim the net for himself. Nicholas Williams and Steven Moyer had a strong partnership which many would have thought would have made it to the end, until a grenade came out of nowhere and took both out about halfway through the battle. Lil' Manius had the most KOs with a surprising 7 victims to his name, until he was taken out by Olivier Cloutier. There was so much brutality that many viewers had to get up and leave. In the end, Atlas Rush took out Kaspars Claude and survived to claim victory, but at what cost?

Toivo · 12-19-2020, 03:27 PM

ISFL PT

Zombiewolf · 12-19-2020, 04:17 PM

A battle royal on the Buffalo Stampede would be incredible. I think all of us on Buffalo are absolute madmen and it will be a slaughter right from the start. I could see Steve Harrington and WannaBeFinn going at each other with Javelins while Rintarou Okabe screeches war eagle and goes at them both with a hatchet he somehow found. Jaska Seppala and Alexander Roach, as the weaker members of the team would team up and hide up in the trees somewhere as everybody else kills each other. Elizabeth Doyle is a wildcard, seeing as she is the goalie which makes her the craziest out of all of us. I think she will go out in camp out somewhere. She will cover herself in mud and pick her targets off one by one with a poison dart blowpipe. None of them would ever see it coming. Who wins the battle royal? None other than Aron Hernadivic who is the most tactical out of all of us.

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majesiu · 12-19-2020, 05:06 PM

PBE Affiliation

Ronniewalker · 12-19-2020, 05:38 PM

First off, I have to say that I’m not too partial to physical conflict resolution or sports (or ‘sports’) where the main objective is to inflict as much pain or injury as possible to the other and as such, I find this point task kind of difficult to undertake. Call it pacifism, passivism or snowflakeism if you want to, but it is what it is. I’m not saying that there aren’t instances in life where you might be left with no choice than to resort to physical confrontation, but even then it should not be about answering violence with violence, but just taking the necessary steps to prevent any more violence. This is also not to say that I would want all sports to be some sterile no-contact events. Far from it, as I would surely not be a hockey fan if I thought that way. But there is a difference to me between physicality in such sports as hockey and football and even some types of martial arts, for instance, where the objective is to display a multitude of both mental and physical skills in competition without the express need of resorting to violence in itself, as opposed to different fighting events that are essentially expressly based on that very violence. As this Battle Royale, to me, falls into the second category, I will simply submit this as my entry. Call it a cop-out, if you wish Tongue

(244 words)

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