Looking at the Newfoundland Berserkers, including a lot of the alumni who have recently moved onto the SHL as well as former and current members of managements, I would have to think that it would be an incredibly close fight. Thanks to the weekly Hunger games being hosted, we’ve been able to have a sneak peek at how much capability each person has, as well as the extent of bloodthirsty an individual could be. Taking from what I know of each person, I would have to imagine the clear winner is none other than the Clean Man himself. He’s shown prowess in living out in the wilds, sending numerous ambiguous images of him out in nature, disappearing for a while at a time and coming back unscathed. As well, the extensive knowledge of philosophy and other topics have shown him to think both critically and creatively. How that would be used towards harm of a member in our LR I would be terrified to think about. A black horse has to be SDCore. Will his intoxication make him a more or less dangerous threat? Is he a prodigy of the Drunken Fist style? It’s impossible to know.
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My team, the Citadelles, has the best fighter in the SMJHL so might as well dedicate my entire PT to him.
Boris Petrov fights in about 20% of the games he is a part of. His one goal in life is to be the best fighter in the SMJHL and he has accomplished just that over the past few seasons. With a winning percentage of 80 % in his fights this season, he's the kind of man you'd want to hide behind in a real life brawl situation.
Being a fighter is a rare thing in the SMJHL since his only challenger would be Niccolo Livius of the Newfoundland Berserkers. Other than that, the other teams would need to rely on their big hitters but it's not as easy to hit people from behind without expecting them to fight back in a battle royale situation.
All this to say, Boris Petrov would make quick work of any challenger, be they from the Citadelles or otherwise, since he is pretty much one of the only real fighters in the league.
Well it sure is a good thing that this event rolled around after Gooney (Jason Desroulex) left the Hamilton Steelhawks, because this competition would be more of a slaughter than a battle royale with him involved.
To start with the people that would be ousted immediately, Gabe Johnson would no doubt be first off the board. He is a constant disappointment on the ice, and often off it too, so unless he just hid right away and hoped other people picked each other off, which is pretty likely, he dies instantly.
Skao Anazibf and Wen Baters, who of course are in a long-term and committed relationship, would be two strong contenders as they would faithfully work together and try to murder everyone else first. On top of this, their mutual longtime friend and human behemoth Hugh Jazz would group up with them too. Evangelos Giannopoulos would likely tag along with them too, but if they made it to being the final 4 he would probably be murdered without hesitation by the other two.
Rotticus Scott, Rikard Hammarberg and Aaron Wilson group up as a trio, hoping to replicate their chemistry on the ice out on the battlefield, and I am sure working together they would have a strong chance of being the winning faction.
Samuel Michaud and Bork Lazer join forces as the Chad Duo, and would also stand a very strong chance of crushing the others even at a numerical disadvantage.
I could go on with the whole team for this but I've already more than hit the word count so
A Battle Royale far up north in Alaska would be an interesting event to watch. Participants would be the full team of the Anchorage Armada. Well, for sake of story telling, in the first seconds of a Battle Royale at least half of the people have to be eliminated, otherwise I can‘t keep an overview.
I guess the Petrovs build an alliance with the main goal to get rid of Gabe, as this is what Vladmir at least is up to without a Battle Royale either way. They‘ll get accompany by TURG TURG and Pablo Salvatici. Their plan to eliminate Gabe is a simple one, but they haven‘t taken into account that they have a spy in their alliance. While many others got eliminated in 1 vs 1 fights – Lakkamaa, Petrikov, Pihl, Binder, Pumpkins, Carter, Goode, Fuchs, Sawful and Gunnarson, the showdown for victory has begun. Gabe already prepared an ambush to react on the attack lead by Vladmir. In a tough battle, the whole alliance gets eliminated except for Vladmir, while on Gabes side only he survives. Not sure if there are even any others on his side. Well, final showdown Gabe vs Vladmir. Gabe trades Valdmir last second, so he‘s eliminated as no longer he‘s part of the team, well played. But Vladmir isn‘t that easy to defeat, while leaving he takes out Gabe. But who‘s the ultimate winner? No worries, there‘s one. Withecheck was late to the party as he returned to the team after his expedition to SHL, and enters the battle right when the other two got taken out. Low effort win for Withecheck there.
All of the boys got together inside the locker room today to measure each other and find out who is the biggest of them all. We ended up getting into a very heated argument over length and width which led to us shamelessly doggy piling on top of each other to fight. There was lots of slapping noises and loud grunts coming from the locker room that the staff and management decided to join in to see what was going on. Turns out, it pays to have the boys be so comfortable in their own skin because the entire organization seemed to be inside the locker room battling out with the others. Bodily fluids were all over the place and you would think that fans would be able to hear it from the stands if they were allowed to be in attendance. However, at the end of it all, yours truly, the Big Wanger, lived up to the name by emerging victorious. Maybe with a few “battle scars”, but it was all for the pleasure of the boys.
12-19-2020, 08:47 PM(This post was last modified: 12-19-2020, 08:50 PM by DELIRIVM.)
Simply put, the Baltimore Platoon Battle Royale would be a bloodbath. Some of the defenses on this team would just go apeshit on everyone else. There would be a solid fight between guys like Emerson and Kalashnikov. These guys would duke it out one-on-one with Kalashnikov eventually prevailing and proclaiming himself the winner. The rest of the team would pile onto Luc-Pierre Lespineau-LeBrunette, thinking there would be a chance if they all fought him at the same time. But much like the ending of the movie "The One" featuring Jet Li. LPLL would take his fighting stance and one by one destroy all challengers. Young rookies like Nikiforov and Shephard would be the first to fall. Next would be the veteran forwards like Ethan Duncan and Karl Krashwagen. Luca Del Vecchio would come screaming in Monkey Style and jump on LPLL's back. He'd get tossed to the ground and stomped. At this point it would be Bongo charing up the stares to his eventual death. Our final fight would be LPLL and Lord Raiden. Raiden would reach into LPLL's chest and grip his heart, KO. Another win for the Protector of Earthrealm.
This entirely depends on how many people are allowed to be in each squad. If we're doing trios then @Blastmeaway, @trella and I are gonna get literally donkey dicked but none of us really going to care because we're all here for a good time not to win. If we're doing quads then 9 times out of 10 Blast will forget to pull his parachute, @FuzzSHL or @"Shiny" will actually be trying to win, Trella will be doing his best to help them and I'll be getting sniped from south while shouting that someone is shooting be the west cause I have no awareness. The other 1 time out of 10 we'll manage to pull it together actually pull out the dub. If we're talking about an all SHL battle royale like literally everyone then my guess is Shiny, @JR95, @"Infid3l" and @Otrebor13 squad up and literally kill half of the players in the server cause they're all that fucking good.
Cal Juice Tomas Zadina Brady McIntyre
Steelhead77 Registered
S27, S29, S32, S40, S42 Challenge Cup Champion & Parm King
Calgary has some real heavy weights on the team, guys like Otis B Driftwood (245lbs) Esa Parmborg (250lbs), Nicky Pedersen Jr (230) Mats Marner (230) Cale Amundsen (230) Boris "The Beast" Poroshenko(230) are all imposing figures and would be top contenders for a battle royale among Dragons players. Our lighter guys are tough also but in this scenario weight usually wins out, especially in an over-the-ropes battle royale where you to be sent over the ropes to be eliminated. The lighter guys would immediately try and team up to throw the heavier guys over the ropes but they would not be successful and soon be eliminated themselves. In the end the heaviest two players Otis B Driftwood, Esa Parmborg and the beastly Boris Poroshenko would be the final three. In the end Boris "The Beast" Poroshenko would live up to his name and eliminate Driftwood and Parmborg to become the battle royale champion. He's a beast after all..
#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer - First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History - - First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History - - Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History - - First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups - Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34 Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45
12-19-2020, 11:44 PM(This post was last modified: 12-19-2020, 11:44 PM by Jericson.)
For the Tampa Bay Barracuda, there are a few players who would go far in a Battle Royale between the players. Before we get into the match, we are doing a quick setup.
This Battle Royale is going to take place on the hockey rink. Where better to test the skills of the players. In addition, the rules are simple: send the players over the boards by any means necessary (glass has been removed to facilitate this).
As the match starts, multiple players begin skating around to gain momentum or attempt to square off. The two best fighters on the team, Wibbly McButternutz and Justin Keahi, square off. They have both been evenly matched in the past in straight up boxing. However, with the chaos of the ice, Keahi dummies McButternutz and chucks him over the boards. As he looks around, Keahi sees that Mega Tron, Flash Gordon, Josh Driver, and Zoltan Topalo have also been chucked over the boards and are sitting in the stands watching the match unfold.
The rest of the team is pretty well evenly matched in their capabilities and are able to knock each other around. However, the wrecking ball that is Keahi picks off targets left and right and sends them over the boards. In the end, the final four players remaining are Justin Keahi, James Ronlain, Tom Fiddler, and Jakob Hamr. As the three notice Keahi knocking around the rest of the team they decide they will team up on him. However, Keahi runs them immediately and clotheslines all 3 over the boards. The pure aggression from Keahi allows him to win the match.
Going purely off of how aggressive each player on the Nevada Battle Born are, it's pretty cut and dry who would win in a battle royale fight. I considered including stamina as a rating in my decision making, but it's pretty clear that Nevada is suffering from stamina issues overall already.
The entire team is pretty soft, I won't lie. 40% of the team piss their pants immediately and surrender to their much cooler team mates. 8 down, 12 to go. 7 more swallow their fear enough to fight on but don't make it far before it becomes clear they have much more tenacious opponents than themselves and they lose their fire quick. 5 remain in the final stages of our all out war. Chad Danger and Halldor Ragnarsson don't make it long. They just don't have the fire and iron will to make it in this lawless arena. Rob Wright never flinches but falls to Vili Tuga’tūga’bo’atu before Vili Tuga’tūga’bo’atu turns to the final opponent.
Vili Tuga’tūga’bo’atu V Raivo Helminen
It's an epic battle for the ages. It goes on for many minutes, neither side faltering, neither side giving up an inch... Until Vili Tuga’tūga’bo’atu loses his edge for just long enough for Raivo Heminen to finish him off.
Raivo Helminen earns his prize of paying off the team's insurance deductibles. Congrats, Raivo.
Code:
224 words
S57 || Rude Sniff || D || NBB/NOLA || 479 TPE
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Clint Eastwood, Jun 10 2018, 09:36 AM Wrote:Can't buy love, but love can buy a lot.
I think this is really unfair for my SMJHL team. I mean after all I love my team but most of them are not fighters. They’re good players, strong, tough, and proud, every one of them. But they’re not me. I mean I’m not Boris, but I’m like a budget version of him. And let’s be honest, a budget Boris is still better as a fighter than a lot of people. I think my team might be able to beat me though. They’re sneaky and if they team up they might be able to take me on, then figure it out from there. However, if you include everyone who plays at the rink there’s one easy winner. The Raptors that live at the stadium would for sure win the fight. I mean even if whole team worked together, I still think we would lose to a real live honest to God raptor. No cap, it wouldn’t even be close. But besides the Raptor, still me.