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***luke*** · 12-20-2020, 11:30 PM

For a battle royal, I feel like it would be the Eastern Confrence vs the Western Conference, they all start in their cities and walking only, will have to attack each conference's city. The Main contention cities for bot east and west would be New Orleans and Minnestoa for the west. As that is the first ilne of defense for the west. And Chicago and Atlanta for the east, as there most people would be joining them. For the eastern cities, Manhattan, Buffalo, and Baltimore would make the treck to Atlanta, with Tampa maybe arriving at the edge of florida to make sure they dont try to flank into florida. That owuld mean that TOR,HAM,NEW, and CHI would go to Chicago to face up against the northwest teams. I feel like the East would attack first, entering new orleans and try to attack with speed, as LAP and SFP is far away to walk from. Snatching up NOLA and TEX early would be a huge win for the eastern teams.

From there who knows,

Matty7478 · 12-20-2020, 11:31 PM

PBE PT

***ProjectSaint*** · 12-20-2020, 11:41 PM

Alright, so for a Colorado Battle Royale, where its just physical might against physical might, I think the biggest question will be who will survive getting into the ring with Juni Panda or Anrijs Asts. I'm sorry, but the winner of the Raptors Battle Royale will be between these two, no questions asked. Juni is our big goon, going out there and bullying opponents into submission with his agression, strength and fighting skills. Asts would be among the only ones who could even match him in the ring. He is a big imposing figure with the muscle build to match. Other than those two, I guess that there will be a few who can last a while. RESO is an all-round physical beast, McOoooh and Diamente are ballsy players and would not be anywhere near deterred from any provocations, and two of the rookies, Sivart and Huber, have great promise as potential goons.

Waters · 12-20-2020, 11:45 PM

battle royale? alrighT! oh man, so many crazy things would happen in a hamilton battle royale! the first death would definitely be gabrile johnson that guy SUCKS ASSSSSSSSSSS SO MUCH ASS LOL he is pretty weak, though he does have quite incredible log chopping technique, so that might help him survive (?) then there would be some epico deaths, but i can tell you that nour? He'd be a middle death of sorts. He'd tell a funny joke and then when laughing at his own joke he would get stabbed :( NO! and now? the top 3? here it is! Number 3. Gooney. WOW THIS GUY IS BIG AND STRONG! you can tell he was a boxer in the past cause hes cool. 2nd is hallsy. HES 7 FOOT TALL?????? YEAH! he is. hes gonna swim so fast everybody else drowns from his strong kicking. Finally, I win, cause im an epic alpha male. thanks for watching.

Sopath · 12-20-2020, 11:49 PM

A battle royal in the Newfoundland Berserkers locker room would be a very unentertaining battle. Over the past season we've lost many of the mighty contenders for winning such a competition but I will give it a crack. The competition would probably begin with Bas O'Bigbers being the one everyone goes after. Bas is known for being many things but being a tough guy would not be one of them. Bas would probably be the one that Vaseline PodCalZone would go after first. Pod charges Bas screaming and with blood red eyes ready to kill. Then Lassi Suhonen charges PodCalZone to get him off of his tackle. PodCalZone and Suhonen wrestle on the ground while Bas runs away. After two weeks of living off in the wild Bas finds the first stream of fresh water in days. He gets on his knees and his cups his hand in the water and is about to take a sip when hears a voice behind him. "It's over Bas." Bas recognizes it as the voice of PodCalZone. "There's no one left?"

"Nope."

PodCalZone Clubs him in the head repeatedly until Bas' head splits open.

And that's how the Battle Royal would probably go.

Ruggsy · 12-20-2020, 11:50 PM

A battle royal between the SMJHL would be just as volatile and quick to change as it is during the season. Most of the teams would be real strong contenders, probably a decent few are better at fighting then they are at hockey. I think in a pure fighting match that the colorado raptors would come out the clear champions. The Raptors have been working in the off season bulking up and drinking protein supplements and g-fuel like their life depended on it. It has propelled the raptors to a perfect form never seen in modern sports. Led by Juni Panda, one of the premiere goons in the league we would destroy the faces of anyone who stood in our path. Sadly I dont think this would be the case, because we also have the Detroit falcoby in the league. Notable for their sneaky tricks, the Detroit falcons would probably game misconduct their way to the win. Sneaky sneaky falcons.

*Buster* · 12-20-2020, 11:53 PM

Honestly, a Manhattan Rage battle royale seems less than fair. The team prides itself on being a mobile team that is focused more on playing a skill game rather than bruising and punishing opposing rosters. In that case, it really seems like a Rage battle royale would be quite weak. The biggest player you would point towards would be two time Turd winner Oliver Cleary. The past couple seasons though he has moved away from fighting and moved back towards being the number one defensemen mold. The real issue, and the obviously eventually winner would be David Vent. The defender is a huge 6'6”, 265 pound defender who would crack skulls if he was ever let loose. No one on the Rage would be able to contain the Czech powerhouse. In the end, I think the team would rather give up than face the gentle giant in a fight, no matter how many of them are throwing themselves at Vent at once.

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***Pythonic*** · 12-20-2020, 11:54 PM

I took some creative liberties with this one. As opposed to having a SHL player vs. SHL player battle royale, how about a competition between SHLers and NHLers? Below is a photograph taken during a fight in the first round of the battle royale between NHLer Alexander Ovechkin, the Great Eight, and SMJHLer KnockedOut ByOvechkin. As you could tell by his name, this did not go so well for the Whalers player.

[Image: kobo_vs_ovechkin.png]

trella · 12-20-2020, 11:58 PM

you know this prompt is really hard to answer for me. you know why? because the tampa bay barracuda would NEVER EVER!!!!!!! have a battle royale between themselves. i am trying very hard to think of a hypothetical scenario where a tampa bay barracuda have a battle royale to the death. the boys quite simply would not have the hearts to kill eachother. instead, what would happen is we would all be dropped onto this island, and the game master would be all hyped up and ready for a bloodbath but SIKE mothafucka he fellas would really just be out there on that island creating a better life for themselves. the fellas would live out there in our own barracuda commune. we will all live in comfort and harmony. just the boys, no corrupt liberals or conservatives like we have here in the united states of america. lets go comrade cudas!

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

Gooney · 12-21-2020, 12:15 AM

battle royale is a team with sudden one life mechanics. now hamilston steelhawks have a bunch of strong MAN. MAN BIG AND STRONG. Jason Desrtouelx would win any 1 v 1 fight with physical would beat up any of these small boys with his fists. he would punch them in the head and dig his fingers into their eyeballs until theyre crossed sideways. he would look like a gecko. speazking of gecko. now nour would be the first one to die because dumb. I think hallsy could win the whole hting but unforturnealy hes suffers from dumb ass :( . waters would probably win because hes an epic alpha male. haha yeah hes strong and big. and like thats just the group of members i mentioned. theyre outthers. like rotti was really strong and he almost won. and then dont get me started on jeffi. that guy is strong and he came in 5th plkace. once again congrats to ben waaters on winning the hamilton steelhawks battle royhale.

Nerio · 12-21-2020, 12:17 AM

A Buffalo Stampede Battle Royale would go about as well as anyone would expect, Hippo Passamus would absolutely run away with having the highest chance to win and the remaining places would be left among the rest of the team to fight it out. Don't get me wrong, Buffalo has some fierce competitors that up against any other competition would absolutely be able to go for the throat and take the W, but Hippo is an absolute force to be reckoned with as he is quite literally a hockey playing hippo. This doesn't necessary mean it would be bad for TV ratings as a television show or anything. While it would be obvious to the viewer that Hippo will be the ultimate victor among visible competitors, that's doesn't mean he'd be the ultimate Viktor when Buffalo legend Viktor Marius is called upon to make a guest appears and absolutely steps all over the lobby, leaving visible footprints on all his victims. With those tools available the network has a great opportunity to highlight the past strength of Stampede history.

HanTheMan_ · 12-21-2020, 12:24 AM

Come one, come all to the Hamilton Steelhawks Simulation Hockey League Battle Royale!!! This ultimate battle royale is a fight to the death in the arena! Now, the Hamilton Steelhawks among themselves are a rowdy bunch. They are a rambunctious group who will strangle each other alive at any given moment. Or would give each a good ol smooch on the forehead. It's really fifty fifty they are a funky bunch. The contestants include Jason Desrouleaux! Big strong man Desrouleaux! He is super speedy and strong and would kick some butt. Skao Anazbif! Another big strong man! He will be quite the competition against Mr Desrouleaux. We got Hugh Jazz, and Gabriel Johnson! Dick Clapper and A Jobin! All the Steelhawks will be turning out to this event for a free for all fight to the death. Who will come out victorious? My predictions are Mr Gabriel Johnson who will come out on top by hiding. Good tactic Gabe.
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Bongo · 12-21-2020, 12:25 AM

On the morning of the seventeenth, Friedland awoke in a clay hut, a little dazed and bruised but otherwise OK. He and Nat Emerson are the last two remaining platoon members in the SHL Battle Royale JungleDome. The rules of the Battle Royale are simple, 3 volunteers from each team enter. The losers die, and those who survive get 1000 TPE bonus, as promised by the commissioner.

(Usually, teams would force their rookies to fight in the JungleDome. However, the Steelhawks persistently sent their best guys to the JUNGLE DOME, Because they always had access to the best weapons somehow. They considered killing the rookies not only FUN but morally justifiable and correct, the Platoon however, couldn't be this immoral so Emerson, Friedland and DelVecchio volunteered to save the rookies, who otherwise would've been forced to go!)

It's been exactly 12 hours since the death of Del Vecchio. The three Platoon members were ambushed by a gaggle of Steelhawks archers. Friedland displays a blank thousand island stare as he recalls the day previous. Friedland, Del Vecchio and Emerson were sitting in their camp, enjoying some roasted duck, when that steel tipped arrow pierced Del Vecchio's jugular. The Platoon members could not see them, as the vantage point was not ideal. Arrows pierced Emerson and Friedland as they ran away. Friedland came back to reality, and remembered that he saved his last remaining grenade to destroy the three Steelhawks, knowing that they were the only other team remaining.

Unfortunately, the three Steelhawks, Gabe Johnson, Aaron Wilson, and Michael Scarn had found the battered and bruised Platoon duo. They no longer had any arrows. However, they wielded sharp blades.

"Emerson, wake up. they're here".
Emerson turned to Adam, and discretely showed his teammate his intestines that were dangling from his gut. He poked them back inwards.

The Steelhawks saw the duo, battered, bruised and dirty from their previous altercation. They knew they were going to win.
"We know you are hurt, come out and die like men"

"I shall emerge, but please, kill me quickly. It is my dying wish to suffer not a minute longer". Emerson shouted
"Heh, we'll see about that I guess. Now come out before we come in" Scarn sneered.

Friedland flashed his grenade as Emerson, encouraging him to throw it.
"I simply cannot. If we miss, we are surely dead. This needs to be a sure thing..."

This is when Friedland saw the most noble thing that the Platoon vet has ever done.
"The 100 DGRS.. The amazing two day defensive play, With an extra 1000 TPE, I'd be unstoppable. But Friedland, you are the future, you could dominate the league for years, especially with the downfall of the Steelhawks"

Emerson pulled the pin, and inserted the grenade into his intestines, and scurried out to the Steelhawks.
"Any last words?" Remarked Johnson as he raised the 8 foot Ninja Cloud Final Fantasy Type blade above Emerson's kneeling body.

Emerson simply smiled. A millisecond later, he and the remaining Steelhawks looked like ground beef splattered across the jungle dome floor.

The alarm sounded - the first responders attended to Friedland's wounds. He did it. He fucking did it.

"damn, the great lakes division is wide open now" Friedland thought.

Beebob · 12-21-2020, 12:25 AM

A battle royale between every single player of the Anaheim Outlaws would certainly be very interesting. Imagining that all the players are scattered around within Disneyland and are in contest of pure athleticism and wit, it's possible to see millions of possible conclusions. Though I believe there are only 6 possible candidates for the final victor. First off, the terrifying Jöörgüštrâäd DuBølk would be an absolute beast to take down, standing at 6ft 8in and having a long history of putting men in their place, there are very few on the team that would have a chance of taking him down. Next off, the duo of Sammy Blaze and Asclepius Perseus Flitterwind would make two very interesting combatants in this contest. Not as tall or massive as some of their teammates, though they are known for having a little more extra kick in their step, not to mention that they're high speed would make tracking each of them down a nightmare. The final category would be the sophomore trio of Michael Scotch, Farley Hank, and Arsene Leclerc. These three would each be a hassle to get down, each possessing their own scrappy characteristics. Michael Scotch is not unknown to start up his own lockeroom fights, though he has proven time and time again that there are few on the team that could match him in a fistfight. Taking down the stoic and gigantic Farley Hank would be an absolute feat of pure strength, though it would be a surprise to no one to find him fallen for a simple bit of deception. The brightest of the three, Arsene Leclerc, would be the true wildcard of the bunch as the defense bruiser would most certainly have a plethora of methods of victory.

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Paq · 12-21-2020, 12:27 AM

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